Bitchiness begins in childhood. Please note that the most beautiful girl will not always be popular with boys. Let's remember kindergarten, when the boys fought over a little bitch, looked for flowers for her, took toys from each other, and then brought her trophies. Cute…

A bitch will never allow herself to appear in front of her man in a dressing gown with a mask on her face and curlers. She will always look 100% no matter what or where she is doing. For the most part, girls, when they are not dating anyone, try to look very cool, then, when they find a guy, they maintain a marketable appearance, but no longer worry too much about their appearance, and after the wedding, your beauty turns into a “housewife” and brings herself into order only when he goes “to town.”

The desire for beauty is in a girl’s genes. If by nature she considers herself not very pretty (although all girls are beautiful), she uses cosmetics. After all, cosmetics are created to highlight a girl’s advantages and hide flaws.

A bitch will never say that she is not beautiful. Even if she uses subtle makeup, she will make sure it is invisible. And no one will guess that she is ugly without makeup. The bitch knows how to put on makeup and dress smartly.

Have you ever wondered why beautiful women often
forced to endure such squalor around you that not every ugly woman would agree to see? Because normal men believe that they still need to work and work in order to earn the right to have such perfection. And they are afraid to approach the beauty - what if she refuses?

And the sexual giant is knee-deep in the sea, he is not embarrassed by the fact that he has a louse on a lasso in his pocket, and only a crease in his head (and that’s from a cap). And the beauty, exhausted by the lack of male attention, does not refuse such a “benefactor”. Moreover, for some reason all these males consider themselves worthy of having only the best woman.

The bitch knows how to competently get rid of unwanted contacts.

Who is this bitch?

Opening Ozhegov’s dictionary, we find an interpretation of only the masculine analogue - “a bastard is a vile person, a scoundrel.” Therefore, “bitch” is the same as “bitch.” This definition is absolutely not suitable for understanding the feminine essence the words "Bitch". Phlegon's dictionary interprets the term "bitch" more broadly. In particular, it is emphasized that this word “a hundred years ago acquired the meaning of a woman sucking strength and money out of men.”

In some domestic dictionaries, an equal sign is established between the concepts “bitch” and “carrion” (ugh!). But it won’t be difficult for a real bitch to fend off such vile attacks. Let us remember, for example, that this “product” can only be consumed by real eagles, therefore called “vultures”. Whereas for other creatures, deprived of the ability to soar proudly, and fit only for sad groveling, the bitch remains a desired, but unattainable object.

The most common phrase is Decent bitch. Sublime and vile. Who put the incompatible next to each other? Let's figure it out. Condemning the bitch for treachery, malice, deceit and selfishness, the most ardent bitch-haters admit that the cynicism of the bitch, who despises even attempts to imitate great and bright feelings, is more honest than the sugary-sweet caramel castles erected by lisping, kind and “caring” friends in mind. Unlike them, the bitch does not hide her true desires and intentions, does not bother herself with creating illusions - and in this, of course, she is decent.

The concept of "bitch" can be approached from different angles. But what will remain unchanged is that a bitch will never do dirty tricks for no reason. Everything has a reason for her. If anyone thinks that her goal is to humiliate all men, ruin the life of their wife, etc., then they are mistaken. The bitch just doesn't care about anyone but herself. She doesn't harm anyone or bully anyone, she just takes care of herself.

Classification of bitches. Once again about who the bitch is. so as not to be confused with a bastard!

A predatory appearance, a piercing gaze and a sharp tongue - this is how most men imagine a bitch. But that's not true. Adhering to this opinion, men directly fall into a trap set for them by nature itself, because the bitch has an amazing ability for mimicry. In other words, to camouflage. Often communicating with a sweet, modest, charming girl of an angelic appearance, he has no idea who may be hiding in this guise. She is sweet, pleasant, but all this is for the time being. All it takes is for a man to deal her a few brutal blows to her still fragile soul, and here you are, get it! A woman never pursues the goal of becoming a bitch. Just yesterday she was shedding tears from the insult inflicted on her, and today the man is petrified by the precision of the retaliatory blow. The only pity is that usually male representatives do not realize that A woman owes such skill to them - her teachers.

According to the classification given below, there are five types of bitches.
* A woman with a bitch point.
* Bitch.
* Bitch.
*Stervissimo.
* False sterivism (woman's nonsense).

So, type one - WOMAN WITH A BITCH POINT.

The guy is the nicest. In this case, sterism manifests itself only from time to time and out of necessity - as a shaking-invigorating remedy for a dear or beloved man. Once, while flirting with a man obsessed with personal freedom, a certain graduate of a pedagogical university interrupted one of his (somewhat skeptical) phrases with the request: “Just don’t propose marriage!” Stunned and offended, he choked out, “Why?” After taking a decent pause, she answered, modestly lowering her eyes: “You see, we haven’t gone to the movies yet, haven’t kissed in the hallway...”

While going to meet her loved one, my friend wanted ice cream. I bought it for myself and for him. He did not want ice cream and did not appreciate this sign of attention. That’s why I heard in response: “Darling, at least one of us should give gifts.” An instructive story once happened to a married man. Every time he tried too carefully to cover up the traces of his beloved woman’s presence in his house, even before she had time to leave him. When she got tired of it, she “forgot” her powder compact on the dressing table, where the cosmetics of her beloved wife were located. Husbands rarely pay attention to the perfume tastes of their wives (and in vain: it is much safer not to know the tastes of strangers), and therefore the planted little thing did not attract the attention of the head of the family. In contrast to the attention of his wife, although her analytical abilities, in his opinion, are far from Miss Marple's talents.

Type two - BITCH.

This is still a humanist. But just “for now.” Her sterism is already becoming the property of society, often with the aim of improving some of its individuals. One day, a friend of hers came to see Alla at work. The prospect was innocent, but very pleasant: tete-a-tete over tea. Blooming lilacs and a turquoise sky outside the window, tea is being brewed, the cake is cut, there are no urgent matters in sight... And then one young lady happily carries herself into the office. (It must be said that she knew the guest and did not miss the opportunity to let her tail loose in front of him.) Seeing the cake, she quickly runs away to get a cup without waiting for an invitation. Really, why these stupid conventions? He comes back and starts chirping. There was no choice: the situation required decisive action. And then Alla started a conversation with her friend about people unfamiliar to the “third wheel” and about matters that did not concern her at all. Having excluded her colleague from the conversation thematically, Alla “geographically” sat down so that she was behind her. The arrogant young lady could not stand it for more than five minutes - she left, but left the cup behind. But no one invited her to tea. And when the guest left, Alla, being a well-mannered woman, brought tea and cake to her office. Since then, their hostility has become mutual.

There are simpler options. Having met a not very pleasant acquaintance with his new lover, you can remark (certainly in the most friendly tone): “I really like meeting Andrei’s girls (Slava, Zhenya, Petya, Vasya, etc. - delete unnecessary ones). True, they are all several they look alike, and that’s why I always confuse the names!”

Remember the movie "Bitter Moon"? The wife, feeling that her husband is on the verge of betrayal, warns him: “No matter what you do, I will take revenge even worse!” And she takes revenge, in the most natural way repelling from him the one who was her rival yesterday.

Not only a man can fall under the sharp tongue of a bitch. Consider the truly remarkable talent of women to compliment each other! With undisguised delight he says: “How plump you have become! However, this does not spoil you!” or: “You look good! I would never have thought that anti-wrinkle cream was so effective! In five years, I’ll probably take care of myself.”

Type three - BITCH.

This type is a bitch, or a witch - a woman who has been brought down by life. An example is Bulgakov's Margarita. Without a doubt, kind by nature, she, having flown out of the window of her own apartment, casually warmed up on her neighbor, then had a tasteful break in Latunsky’s apartment. However, when she heard the frightened child's voice, her bitchy mood disappeared instantly. IN real life Bitches sometimes have a hard time remembering their humane essence. And sometimes they don’t remember at all.

Having arranged a stunning evening for my husband full program, a sweet woman, lying on the sofa and looking at her husband entering the door, asked, not at all in control of herself from drinking champagne: “Darling, are you going through the door normally?” “Fine,” the husband shrugged. “And the horns don’t get in the way?” - she didn’t believe it.

Parting with her friend, as if on his initiative, the bitch did not forget, however, when collecting his things, to put both his cup and his pencil there. Women are much more often than men to be disgustingly generous! I also know this story. (Madame O., attention!!!) One unfortunate woman was pestered at night with phone calls ex-spouse. He apparently didn’t have the courage to call during the day, but by night, through alcohol, he returned to normal and began to harass. And nothing helped her, poor thing - neither requests, nor demands. When she got really tired of waking up two or three times a night, she decided to have a blast. Having tracked the telephone numbers of three companies providing intimate services through advertisements, with the help of a neighbor an order was made to the address ex-husband as follows: the first girl at half past two in the morning (let her fall asleep better), the second - from another company - at three (until they figure it out, until she calms down, have a smoke, go to bed until she falls asleep). And the third - at six o'clock in the morning (whoever gets up early, God provides). At seven she called him and wished him good morning. Since then, they say, nothing has disturbed her sleep.

Type four - STERVISSIMO.

If in music there is forte (loud) and fortissimo (very loud), then in the field of stervism there is bitch and stervissimo - superbitch. This can be compared to a musician who gets into a frenzy of excitement and hits the keys, not caring about the reaction of others or the fate of the instrument. This type of sterivism often looks unpresentable. Her goal is to achieve her own peace of mind. But the efforts spent on the moral destruction of a person far exceed what is required. The result is super-annihilation. There is no benefit, but for such a woman it doesn’t matter. Although, if a bastard is no longer a man, then a stervissimo is no longer a woman. In light of the above, there is no desire to give examples.

Type five, aka the last one - FALSE STERVISM (WOMAN'S STUPIDITY).

A certain man told how one day, by chance, he ended up visiting his ex-lover, whom he broke up with several months ago, and on his own initiative. The ex-girlfriend used all her charms, and the man gave in. As it turned out in the morning, she dragged him into bed only to portray extreme disappointment with his sexual capabilities. That's it - heroic and uncomplicated.

The destruction of shared photographs in front of a former lover can also be classified as false sterivism. It happens that a woman gives demonstration performances in the presence of someone who has not yet become friend's ex, actively seducing someone (the object is chosen as accessible as possible in order to avoid public defeat). Holy place, they say... False sterism is inherent in women who have neither talent nor imagination. Such actions are banal and easy to read. They, of course, produce an effect, but more often than not it is not the one the false bitch expects. In such cases, you usually want to say “stupid”, which, you see, can hardly pass for a compliment.

Bitchery acts like snake venom. In small doses it is useful, in large doses it is better not to use it: the result will so exceed all expectations that it is unlikely to make you happy. But if it’s too late for your romance to go to intensive care and only the morgue is in the future, then there is no better remedy than a good dose of sterivism. Does your loved one need a revitalization? Cheer him up with your bitch-point. Has the man forgotten? Act like a bitch or a bitch - depending on the severity of the “crime”. Well, if you are in a “goodbye, darling!” situation, use whatever. In war, as in war, all means are fair. However, as correctly noted, in this case even a holy woman becomes a bitch. It must be admitted that the presence of sterivism in feminine character both men and women rarely rejoice. And yet, among the stronger sex there are lovers of bitches, sort of vultures. According to one such gourmet, he is attracted to the spice and pungency in bitches. Yes, you won’t get bored with us!

Source: lim.lib.ru \only I cut it badly.

Bitch Rules

1) Don’t waste your time on men who don’t deserve you. If you set the bar, keep it to the end.
2) Don't allow yourself to fall in love more than they are in love with you.
3) Constantly change to always be interesting.
4) Do not stoop to simple womanish jealousy.
5) Learn to “dissolve” in a man.
6) In love, give more than ask. Much more without thinking.
7) Don't be intrusive.
8) Be able to distract a man from his problems by any means.
9) Become a muse (even if the chosen one has nothing to do with art).
10) Take everything that you have from the market woman and get rid of it once and for all.

The bitch has the right:

1. put yourself first

2. have your own opinions and beliefs

3. say no

4. ignore the opinions of others and act at your own discretion

5. to be alone, even if others want her company

6. have and express your own feelings, regardless of whether others understand them

7. change her decisions if she wants to

A bitch is never obliged to:

1. follow the crowd

2. love people who harm her

3. do something nice for unpleasant people

4. apologize for being yourself

5. comply with unreasonable demands

6. go out of your way for others

7. feel guilty for your desires

8. sacrifice your “I” for the sake of anyone or anything

9. staying in a relationship that has become abusive.

Buy literature about bitches

this will help you become a Bitch!

School of bitches. Strategy for success in a man's world. Step-by-step technology

Book

Author: Evgenia Shatskaya Price: 236.00 rub. Weight: 420 g

Here is a book that should not be shown to men under any circumstances. Being a modern woman means being a Bitch, but men don't need to know that. They don’t have to know how and at what cost the Bitch manages and can do everything. She is called a vamp woman, a fatal beauty, a strong personality, a woman of...

Here is a book that should not be shown to men under any circumstances. Being a modern woman means being a Bitch, but men don't need to know that. They don’t have to know how and at what cost the Bitch manages and can do everything. She is called a vamp woman, a fatal beauty, a strong personality, a woman without age or prejudice. Any woman can turn into a Bitch. To do this, you just need to want to be successful, rich and, of course, loved. This book will tell you how to become a Bitch and what knowledge you need to have for this.

The Big Book of Bitches. A complete guide to stervology

Book

Author: Evgenia Shatskaya Price: 325.00 rub. Weight: 730 g

Before you is a complete collection of “bitchy works.” This is exactly the kind of book I was missing fifteen years ago, and that’s why I wrote it. Bit by bit, from books, from people and from my own (not always sweet) experience, I learned to live, build relationships with men and “do business.” People who have known me since...

Before you is a complete collection of “bitchy works.” This is exactly the kind of book I was missing fifteen years ago, and that’s why I wrote it. Bit by bit, from books, from people and from my own (not always sweet) experience, I learned to live, build relationships with men and “do business.” People who have known me since childhood are sometimes surprised at how much I have changed. Change has a name - Bitch. I love and am loved, I earn good money and cannot live without work. I am admired and envied, and all because I have become different from most women. I became strong, smart, beautiful, independent. I became a Bitch, and I have never regretted it. E. Shatskaya

Bitch in bed...and more. The science of loving and being loved

Book

Author: Evgenia Shatskaya Price: 182.00 rub. Weight: 380 g

In this book we will learn to be Women, not women. We will learn to love with soul and body, to behave correctly depending on the situation, we will study men's weaknesses and stereotypes, we will love men and surrender to them without reserve. And most importantly, it will give us unspeakable pleasure! And goodbye, e...

In this book we will learn to be Women, not women. We will learn to love with soul and body, to behave correctly depending on the situation, we will study men's weaknesses and stereotypes, we will love men and surrender to them without reserve. And most importantly, it will give us unspeakable pleasure! And in parting, if it suddenly happens, we will tell men: “Thank you, our beloved and dear, our only, smartest and sexiest, thank you for the happy days (months, years) that you gave us, thank you for we loved and were loved for what you taught us. So go to all four directions and try to find someone better than us! "

A friend of mine once aptly said that the entire existence of a person can be succinctly characterized by the words “It will either be an experience or a pleasure.” In relation to a woman and her experiments on her own appearance, wardrobe, figure, this statement is doubly true. But to please men, most of what we do to ourselves is not necessary at all! And even what is needed can be done in less time and with less damage to the budget. This is what I call the bitchy approach - maximum efficiency, minimum expenditure of effort, time, money and nerves. A beautiful face, figure, manners, gait are undeniable trump cards in the fight for the best of men. How to “squeeze” everything possible out of what nature has given you? How to keep fans and rivals at any age? How to lose weight without harming your health and psyche? It’s very simple if you think not only about how to draw a beautiful face or what clothes to buy. The unique bitchy charm is sexuality, intelligence, humor, self-confidence and love... What difference does it make to what or to whom? Let it be - always and in everything, like an exquisite aroma, the finest linen and high-heeled shoes made of fine fragrant leather...

A series: Stervology

* * *

by liters company.

Marafet in the good sense of the word

Appearance and style

My face is my wealth

... Vinegar makes them angry, mustard makes them sad, onions make them cunning, wine makes them feel guilty, and baked goods make them kinder. What a pity that no one knows about this...

Do you like the way you look in photographs? No, not the ones taken in the studio, with “custom-made” poses and smiles, I’m talking about photographs in the company of friends, at work. How many times have you seen your face on them, which seemed not to be yours at all? Often a photo seems hopelessly ruined if your angry or offended face is lurking somewhere in the corner when you thought you wouldn’t get into the frame. If there are such pictures in your album, then I can’t console you with anything, sorry. An unfortunate facial expression that you consider random is your usual facial expression, and an ostentatious smile is just a mask that you cannot wear for long.

The first time I thought about how I looked from the outside if I didn’t take care of my face was when an acquaintance told me that he met me on the street, but I didn’t notice him. When I asked why he didn’t come up himself, the guy hesitated and replied that it seemed awkward to him to bother me when I was upset or angry. Having compared all the events of that day, I came to the conclusion that I did not and could not have had any disorders; on the contrary, I was returning from the store with a long-awaited purchase under my arm. So, it turns out that my facial features spontaneously form into a gloomy, dissatisfied mask? And then I began to take a closer look at my colleagues. A strange thing was revealed to me: as soon as the woman thought that no one was watching her, her face began to take on a completely different expression. Either at that moment she began to think about her difficult lot as a woman, or to envy someone, or maybe she was angry with her superiors, but her pretty face instantly turned into a sad mask from the Kabuki theater, wrinkles and folds appeared, her eyes dimmed, and the body involuntarily went limp in the chair. The second conclusion that I made from my observations: almost every woman, approaching the mirror, throws off the mask of resentment and dissatisfaction and looks at it with a half-smile, in extreme cases with strict coquetry, straightens her hair and makeup, turns around and... turns into an evil little girl again . What does this mean? For yourself, your beloved, a smile and coquetry, and for others - the gloomy face of a “grimza” angry at the whole world, which was abandoned by all the men at once? The same picture is in front of store windows (these are stupid men who think that we are probably staring at clothes). I’ll also tell you a short but instructive story about how one of my very good friends abused women. Once, having accidentally noticed that a woman could not sit calmly (without grimaces and antics) in front of a large mirror, he began to seat them just like that, naturally, on purpose, and then, with “internal laughter” (as he himself admitted), he watched as a certain female person begins to play: try on various images, evaluate how to take a glass of wine more gracefully, how to light a cigarette more elegantly. He says the spectacle is mind-blowingly hilarious. So what does this indicate? At this moment, the woman watches her face and thinks about the impression she makes on others. At some point, all the memories and observations formed in my head into a single, complete picture and a decision arose: that’s it, stop walking around with such a face as if everyone around me owes me a lot of money, stop spoiling myself and scaring men, stop being offended by the injustice of the whole world to me. In the end, I’ve already decided that I’m the best, the most beautiful and the smartest, I’m a bitch, after all!

From that day on, I began to take care of my face. It insidiously did not obey, naturally forming into an offended face or an angry mask, but I did not give up. In order to somehow discipline my facial expressions, I had to resort to tricks: making myself happy with purchases, thinking about pleasant things, humming funny songs, keeping my mouth in a half-smile (which, I honestly admit, at first looked like a cramp). After three days of such training, my colleagues began to suspect that I was having a crazy affair, which I was keeping secret. I didn’t try to convince anyone, but I came to the conclusion: for some reason people think that a satisfied facial expression is necessarily associated with the fact that a person is in love and is successful with the opposite sex. Therefore, we can assume that there is another addiction in which, looking at your satisfied expression on your face, men begin to show increased interest in you. This is how an explanation of the reason why one should “wear a face” took shape in my head, because without this, cosmetics and any outfits are useless. And by the age of thirty-five, the mask of dissatisfaction is fixed with wrinkles, which you will also have to spend effort and money to get rid of (anti-wrinkle creams are not cheap). Isn't it better to take up facial control right now to become a real bitch in everything?

To begin with, the facial muscles must be completely relaxed: the eyebrows should not meet on the bridge of the nose, the lips should not purse, the eyes should squint (if you have problems with vision, go to the optician; we will talk about choosing glasses in a separate chapter). Now smile slightly, raise the outer corners of your eyebrows so that the skin above your eyes stretches a little.

Practice your gaze, raise your head proudly and move forward towards new achievements. On the way to work, think about something pleasant, for example, what you will wear to New Year(birthday, March 8) and what effect this will have, remember the hugs of your loved one (even if he himself has long disappeared - it doesn’t matter, a new one will appear). In the end, play the seductress, because the only one you want can be anyone you meet. When you go into a store, joke with the female salesperson. You will see, she will immediately take off her “mask”, thaw out and choose the best for you. Wearing a face is an art, you can’t learn it in one day, but if you don’t constantly remind yourself of it, the sullen, offended grimace will return again. This is how we are designed: we don’t notice good things, we worry about everything. But a satisfied facial expression also has the opposite effect: it improves your mood. The Americans with their stupid smile are still right about something: if you smile all the time and say that everything is “okay”, you soon begin to believe it yourself, and not only your mood improves, but things also start to go better .

Finally, I’ll tell you one more secret of a satisfied face, if all the previous ones didn’t help. I used it on myself, it is the only one that helped me. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how hard I tried to control my facial expressions, the mentality sitting inside would still come out because of quarrels with my loved one and problems at work. At such moments you think: “Why do I need this if everyone around me is deliberately ruining my life?” And then I decided that every person should have something uniquely positive in their life. It can be anything: a hobby, a dog, a love of shopping or home improvement, walks in nature, or anything else (you yourself know better what exactly makes you happy). And then, after thinking about it, I decided for myself that I would definitely buy a dog, and not just any dog, but the dog of my dreams. Since then, just thinking about my dog ​​brings a smile to my face. And not only for me...

I love my dog ​​very much. For the owners of these amazing creatures, my confession will be nothing new. Everyone loves their dogs. The point is simply that my dog ​​has one thing: it lifts people's spirits. The English Bulldog is a funny breed in itself, from the crease on its nose to its piggy tail. But my white cuttlefish (I sometimes call it that because of its clumsy gait and white color), and I dreamed of it since childhood and bought it, unable to save up the entire amount, on credit, is different (in addition to all the “funny” appearance) and irrepressible energy, coupled with a choleric character, which, with a weight of almost thirty kilograms, looks simply hilarious. You are walking with Masha (that’s her name) along the street, and a gloomy woman meets you, looks at the clumsy puppy and begins to smile. In a store, an unfamiliar guy casts a casual glance at a dog sitting splayed out, turns away, then looks again, bursts out laughing and winks... at the dog! People's mask of concern and fatigue falls off, because, looking at this cute, animated toy (as my husband says, “Have you seen a live Pokemon? You'll see it now!”), it is simply impossible not to smile. I have a magical dog that has the amazing ability to lift everyone’s spirits in just a few moments. And first of all, she performed magic on me, on my face. Thanks to her, I never stopped smiling, even when I felt bad, sad and wanted to drink on my own. By the way, I met my husband thanks to Masha and I don’t regret our meeting.

With all my heart I wish you to find your secret of “wearing a face.” But remember: wearing it is one thing, but when a good mood itself shines in every line, it’s another. Have you seen a cat's face when the cat smells some kind of treat? Now stand in front of the mirror and draw. Do you remember? Women did not come from monkeys. In his theory, Darwin had in mind men, and women were of the feline breed, with slanted eyes, grace and a strange combination of independence and desire to be cuddled. A bitch is, firstly, the embodiment of a wild cat in human form, in which every gesture speaks of independence, inner strength, beauty and anticipation of imminent prey, and secondly, it is a gentle fluffy cat that will purr, curled up on its knees, and will show its claws only as a last resort.

Beauty salon at home

...What a strange day today is! And yesterday everything went as usual! Maybe it was me who changed overnight? Let me remember: this morning when I got up, was it me or not me? It seems like I’m not me anymore!

Lewis Carroll. "Alice in Wonderland"

A bitch is a busy woman, so she doesn’t waste time at the beauty salon when she doesn’t have to. Some procedures can be performed with equal success while sitting in front of the TV or lying in the bath. I want to immediately warn you that men should be strictly prohibited from entering a home beauty salon. Why does he need to see your face smeared with unknown substance? The order in the apartment and female beauty should be on their own. But there are things that are absolutely incompatible with the idea of ​​a bitch: a bitch on all fours with a rag in her hands or with a face covered in cucumbers. So let’s not debunk the myths about us with our own non-bitchy appearance, because a bitch is also a sorceress. Let him think that there is a magic wand hidden somewhere, with a wave of which you will become younger and more beautiful.

In any beauty salon you will be offered to do “miraculous” facial cleansing. Cleaning smoothes out or completely eliminates imperfections, tightens pores and makes the face look more youthful; cleaning is especially recommended for those with oily skin. In fact, there is nothing complicated about this procedure, and it can be done at home on your own. It is done like this: a mixture of honey, egg yolk and olive oil (in equal proportions) is applied to clean skin, and a damp and hot (required!) linen or cotton napkin is placed on top. You need to keep the mask on for about twenty minutes, changing napkins so that they always remain hot. Then wash with hot water. We have steamed the skin, and now we begin the cleaning itself: whisk the shaving cream so that you get a glass of foam, add a teaspoon of soda and apply it to your face. Next, dipping your fingers in fine salt, massage your entire face for about ten minutes, avoiding the areas around the eyes. The skin on your face should turn slightly red. After cleansing, wash with warm water and apply the nourishing cream that you usually use. If you cleanse in the evening, you won’t recognize yourself in the morning. The skin will be soft, smooth, without scales and enlarged pores. In terms of effectiveness, skin cleansing is comparable only to such a well-known invention as...

Massage– one of the most pleasant procedures that, without a doubt, all women love. A complete body massage kit includes: a man, a picture book on massage techniques, massage oil or lotion. It is more difficult with facial massage; doing it correctly so that the effect is positive is not so simple, because due to incorrect movements, new wrinkles may appear. The value of massage is that it “accelerates” the blood, so more nutrients are supplied to the facial cells. And if you nourish the skin from the outside, for example, with masks, your face will immediately become younger and fresher. But you shouldn’t overdo it: my neighbor once gave herself a massage, but she overdid it; due to too much pressure and pinching, her skin was covered with bruises. Then she sat at home on sick leave for a week so that her colleagues would not think that her husband was beating her. If you are doing a massage, first cleanse your face, apply cream or oil, then rub your palms well and lightly tap your fingertips all over your face to warm up the skin, and only then start the massage. Remember: circular movements are made so that the skin does not move (finger movements are approximately the same as rubbing cream), otherwise wrinkles will only increase. Direction of movement: from the nose and center of the chin - to the ears, from the lips - from bottom to top along the nasolabial folds, from the center of the forehead - to its edges, from the center of the neck - to the sides. Very carefully massage the skin under the eyes towards the temples, and the upper eyelid - from the outer edge - towards the nose. Massage is a miracle cure that can only be compared with...

Bath: My friends and I have a tradition of going to the bathhouse a couple of times a month. After the bath, your whole body feels so light, as if you have lost several kilograms, and your skin becomes smooth, fresh and elastic. A woman's trip to a bathhouse or sauna is fundamentally different from a man's. The purpose of the men's bathhouse is not so much to take a steam bath, but to chat “for life”, make ritual libations or invite “girl masseuses” there. When women go to the sauna, they perform a beauty session and share their experience in this area. A healing session with traditional tea drinking usually lasts two to three hours. We take honey with us to smear in the steam room, oil to drip on hot stones, birch or willow brooms. As it turned out, the tradition of women's bath days was not invented by us. In Japan, geishas set aside a whole day to have a great steam bath. Having learned about how they steamed, I became blackly envious. Imagine a sauna in three stages - bathing with massage and rubbing with a hard mitten, then relaxing on the couch and an aromatic sauna. The Japanese woman climbed into a barrel with cedar sawdust and a mixture of herbs (there could be up to 60 types). The barrel was gradually heated, the herbs and sawdust emitted an aroma, permeating the Japanese woman’s body. Here is the secret of beauty without super lotions and creams. It is difficult to carry out such a procedure in a modern sauna, so we came up with the idea of ​​making brooms from herbs and placing them on the shelves in the steam room. I won’t talk about the effect, but when we go out as a whole company (mind you, without makeup!), the workers health center they start joking about whether we are witches, performing rejuvenation rituals in the steam room? Funny? Me too, because everything ingenious, firstly, is simple, and, secondly, it was invented a long time ago. And the bathhouse is not only the secret of youth and beauty, but also health. The body is cleansed of toxins, metabolism is stimulated and normalized, fatigue is relieved and even depression is treated. How much time a week do you spend hanging out with your girlfriends? What if you move them to the sauna? The same gossip and “womanish” joys, only with health benefits. Again - pay attention - a bitchy approach: trying to do everything without forgetting about yourself, your beloved. When going to the bathhouse, take with you a large terry towel and a hat (or a small towel to tie around your head), because high temperature has a bad effect on…

Hair- the pride of any bitch. You probably expect that I will teach you: how to wash and comb, arrange different strands into oily, brittle, dry, sparse and thick? I won’t, because you can read about it in any women’s magazine. Shampoo manufacturers benefit when they use it often, and they also buy the balm. I buy only professional hair cosmetics, which are sold in companies specializing in hairdressing salons, because ordinary shampoos are much inferior in quality to “salon” ones. Men like lush, luxurious hair, flowing strands that are not sticky due to hairspray, and in the end, they just like clean hair and the absence of dandruff. There is a sea of ​​care products. What is the result? Over-groomed strands, greasy at the base and brittle at the ends. Hair does not like frequent washing; this causes it to lose moisture and natural oils. You will probably object: on all the bottles it is written that the shampoo is suitable for frequent use. Naturally, what would you write if you produced shampoo yourself? Try to wash your hair no more than twice a week, gradually accustoming your hair to this schedule. I have long hair, so my signature secret is an oil mask. Any vegetable oil unscented (olive is better), heat it slightly, pour half a plastic cup (choose it in size so that the whole braid fits) and dip your hair into it. You secure the glass on the back of your head with a plastic bag and a hairpin and walk, the longer the better. If you don’t have time, fix the glass for half an hour while you take a bath. When you remove the glass, I assure you that you will not find any oil in it: the “hungry” hair “swallowed” it in one gulp. After the oil mask, you wash your hair as usual, but your hair becomes heavier and shiny, and has less split ends. By the way, what do you think about the curlers? I hope you realize that a bitch in front of a man will never take them out of the nightstand. After all, curlers are the joy of housewives; they even “wear curlers with a scarf on top” when they go to the store. Curlers are the funeral of a bitch. If you absolutely cannot do without them, buy hot rollers - they curl your hair faster. Luxurious curls are obtained if you curl your hair according to the method of our grandmothers, using curlers: on a cord 20–25 cm long, you wind a strip of paper 5–7 cm wide to the thickness you want to get the curl, wind the strand (but not to the very roots, so you could collect the curled curlers with an elastic band and tie a scarf over them. It will look like your hair is gathered in a “net”, and no one will guess that you are curled). When the curl is curled, tie the ends of the ropes to secure it. The result is a stylish hairstyle that you can even sleep in, because curlers are soft, they don’t give you a headache or…

Neck, which is known to reveal age. I read this “terrible” women’s secret in some book back in my early adolescence. And indeed, looking at the singers and actresses, you understand - it gives away. What to do? If you have had wrinkles since childhood, then, alas, you cannot correct the structure of your neck; sleeping without a pillow is also not an option. You just shouldn’t forget about it, but you need to take care of it, just like your face. Mask - on the face and neck. Contrast compress, cream, tonic - nothing will do any harm. Beauty salons will not offer you anything new for your neck. And they won’t offer you to accept...

bath, which the bitch, following the example of Cleopatra, respects. Bath with aromatic oil, foam, tea, milk, salt, herbal decoction, oil, honey. Whatever the bitch can come up with! What if you take your favorite book or glass of wine with you to the bath? Apply a face mask, soak in the warm water to your heart’s content, and let fatigue and problems go away along with the water. Queen Cleopatra took baths in warm donkey milk. For a modern woman, this is, to put it mildly, a little expensive. Therefore, I offer two simple and inexpensive recipes. Recipe No. 1: to swim in the “rivers of milk”, tie two glasses of powdered milk in a bag of several layers of gauze and hang it on the tap so that the stream flows through it. When the bath is full, the bag will become almost empty and the powdered milk will dissolve in the water, and will not float in lumps on the surface if you poured it directly into the bath. To make milk foam, add a little bubble bath to the milk powder. Recipe No. 2: take half a glass of milk powder, potato starch and wholemeal flour or bran, mix, wrap in several layers of gauze, tie tightly and use the resulting bag instead of a washcloth. There is no need to use additional shower gel, but if your skin is dry, add a few drops of olive oil to the bag. This washcloth replaces a scrub, a pore-tightening mask, and a whitening cream. The skin becomes smooth, soft, silky to the touch. After a bath, it is very useful to drink tea, according to an old folk tradition, to restore lost moisture. Before leaving the bath young and tender, like Aphrodite, stand for a couple of minutes under a cool shower so that the pores close and the skin becomes more elastic, because it has long been proven that for many women one of the means to preserve youth is...

Cold, which can be both friend and enemy at the same time. Diane de Poitiers took ice baths and looked much younger than her years until she was very old. True, there is one caveat: the cold is only a friend to those who do not have overly dry, thin and delicate skin. But even for sissies, a contrast shower is useful. For those who tolerate the effects of cold well (this can be seen even by the condition of the skin in the cold), ice cubes are recommended for rubbing the skin in the morning, washing with freshly fallen snow (I think it is obvious that the snow should not be urban). So, who said beauty can't be frozen? The cold causes additional blood to enter the skin, so after the procedure I recommend applying cream or...

Face and neck mask, you can make it from anything, you just have to want it. You have at home an invaluable beauty factory called a refrigerator. Are you preparing lunch? Take something (sour cream, honey or something else - at your discretion) and apply it to your face for 5-10 minutes. No “branded” recipes can compare with your own experience. Right today, right now, put a note on the refrigerator “Make a mask!” In a month you will remove it calmly and without straining. The effect of simple home procedures and the force of habit (which will develop in you) will do their job, and if not all wrinkles are smoothed out, then it will help you...

Facial exercise, it was invented by the famous French cosmetologist Evelyn Ganter-Pechot, who realized that the face, like the body, needs to be trained. With age, muscles atrophy and “slide” down, so they need exercise, but not ordinary, but special, using the fingers. Why fingers? Because even if you make faces and draw letters with a pencil held in your teeth, as some books advise, it still won’t give the same effect as using your fingers. When speaking, with normal facial expressions, only a small part of the muscles are used, and even those are not used to their full potential. The fingers create resistance that the muscles have to overcome. Now there are a lot of books on sale with this and similar gymnastics, but I warn you right away: this is not for the lazy. And for those who are not used to spending more than 10 minutes a day on their beauty, I recommend chewing chewing gum (it strengthens the muscles of the jaws, cheeks and chin), but only so that no one sees you chewing, or try...

Autotraining– last but not least, a product that is directly related to a beauty salon. You come to the salon, and the master says to you: “Darling, it’s a miracle you’ve gotten prettier,” and you blossom, because all you hear from your husband is: “Tea, no longer a girl,” at work: “Marya Sergeevna, in at your age..." and so on. It seems that everyone has conspired to erect a monument to you during your lifetime with a huge inscription “MATURITY” or “OLD AGE.” And only with your friends can you relax a little, throw off the burden of past years and worries, because out of old memory you call each other “girls”; or in a salon, a hairdresser and cosmetologist, in order to improve the mood of their clients, lavish compliments, persuading them to try another experiment. Hence the conclusion: there are so few good words in our lives that we are ready to pay for them and do unimaginable things with our appearance. Auto-training is self-persuasion, self-conviction that you are the most beautiful. When you go to bed in the evening, remember the best thing that happened during the day, praise yourself, relax your facial muscles, otherwise you will fall asleep with knitted eyebrows and pursed lips, and then the wrinkles will appear. Don’t let the thought creep in that you are old and ugly. This is auto-training on the contrary, which depresses you, but what kind of beauty can we talk about with constant tension? In the evening, lying in bed, try to relax as much as possible, think about the good things that happened to you today. If it was just a compliment from a stranger on the bus on the way to work, think back to that moment when you suddenly felt wanted, even if the whole day went wrong afterwards. No matter how much you want, troubles will not go away, but is it worth allowing them to spoil our complexion and add wrinkles?

Super skin for a bitch

There are few things in this world that are unattainable; If we had more persistence, we could find a way to almost any goal.

F. La Rochefoucauld

I have a friend who dreams of the moment when he invents superskin. How humanity will find this miracle is still unknown, whether some pills will appear, or grinding in, but this is not so important. The main thing is that super skin will withstand any disasters, not age, and adapt to weather conditions, diet, sleep and wakefulness. Moreover, super skin will not be affected by such trifles as tobacco and alcohol, acne will not appear on it, bruises will not remain, even hair will grow only where it is needed. Isn't this the dream of millions of women? No plastic surgery for you, no tedious mixing of masks, no money for creams and lotions. Unfortunately, the invention is still in the development stage, so you have to strive to have super skin with the help of improvised means and the assortment of cosmetic stores.

Honestly, I love beauty salons. You always leave the salon refreshed, prettier and happy that you gave yourself, your beloved, a small gift. Workers of various beauty salons go to such lengths to make us more beautiful for our money! There are cleansings, masks, and wrappings with life-giving compounds, in general, you can’t count everything. This is not advertising, but a harsh reality that most of us have neither time nor money for. Do you know the difference between a “bitchy” approach to your skin and a normal one? The desire to achieve maximum effect with minimal expenditure of money and time. And, based on this, I evaluate all the secrets of “beauty” and eternal youth with which magazines and books for women are replete. After all, a bitch needs to do everything: at work, at home, with housework, and to run to the store. She is a busy person, so busy that she plans everything (including visits to the beauty salon) in advance. She cannot allow herself, succumbing to some impulse, to grab a jar of cream from the counter once a month and smear it on her face, immediately expecting a miraculous relief from everything from acne to wrinkles. A bitch differs from an ordinary woman in that she constantly thinks, which means she evaluates, tries on herself, laughs at the deception of a gullible female soul.

According to my observations, none, even the most expensive means do not provide guaranteed results. A clear example of this is pop and movie stars, who sooner or later end up on the surgical table in a plastic surgery clinic. Heredity plays a big role in a woman's appearance. Look at your mother or grandmother, do they have a lot of wrinkles? Someone is washing their face laundry soap and looks like a cucumber, and someone, despite all the tricks and money spent, finds new wrinkles on their face every day. The formation of wrinkles, no matter how you look at it, cannot be avoided; they insidiously appear in the most visible places, emphasizing your age. Wrinkles spoil your carefully applied makeup and collect foundation. But there are several universal secrets of applying makeup that will help you look younger:

– it is better to use beige lipstick rather than pink shades;

– pay close attention to the application of foundation, its layer should be perfectly even;

– blush successfully distracts attention from wrinkles on the forehead and around the nose, focuses attention on the cheekbones and refreshes the face;

– dark lipstick makes you look a little older, but too light won’t do either – choose something in between;

– if there are a lot of wrinkles around the mouth, do not use lip liner or bright lipstick, especially oily lipstick, as it will spread over the wrinkles around the mouth;

– apply powder and foundation under your eyes in a slightly smaller layer than on other areas of the skin, since powder and foundation emphasize fine wrinkles on thin and delicate skin;

– on shallow folds, facial wrinkles and under the eyes, if there are dark circles, a lighter tone is applied before applying the main tone;

– during the day, be sure to ensure that shadows do not accumulate in the folds of the eyelids;

– after applying the shadows, powder the upper eyelid - the layer of shadows will last longer;

– if a capillary has burst, apply a little greenish tone, and on top - the usual one, nothing will be visible.

So, war on wrinkles has been declared. Our main weapon is our priceless hands and endless confidence in our own irresistibility. An additional weapon can be considered various ways effects on the skin of the face, of which I consider patting, steam baths and exfoliation to be the most effective.

Pat is a preventive and strengthening remedy that is not too late to master at any age. Every morning, before applying makeup, apply the cream to your face and neck, pat the left side of your face and neck with your right palm, and pat the right side with your left palm. The softer the skin, the softer the pats should be, and vice versa. For example, the skin on the forehead requires stronger pats, and pats under the eyes are done very gently, using the pads of the fingers. The chin is patted with the back of the right hand. If your skin turns red, don't be alarmed. Within 2-3 minutes the color will return to normal and will be more even and much more “live” than before the procedure. If you train yourself to perform this procedure every morning, then you will never look older than your age. In addition, massage your ears: it “opens” your eyes, invigorates and improves your complexion. Why this happens, I’ll be honest, I don’t know. It’s easy to do: massage your ears inside and out for about five minutes until they turn red.

Steam baths- second prize from the bitch. Take baths once or twice a week, and I promise you that your friends will be jealous of the condition of your skin. The procedure is simple, but the effect... And all you need is a container with boiling water, and throw whatever herbs you have into it (for example, linden blossom, chamomile, or even a cold remedy), add a couple of drops of aromatic oil - the bath is ready. Clean your face of makeup. Cover your head with a towel and lean over the container, but so that it is not too hot (steam is important for the skin, not heat from the water). Sit for five to ten minutes. If you don’t have time to prepare a herbal mixture, use freshly cooked compote or a saucepan with boiled potatoes, the effect will not be reduced. If time allows, combine a steam bath with facial cleansing. Gently go over the steamed skin with a scrub, wipe the pimples (if any) with some disinfectant and wash. It is best to wash your face after a bath with cold water. mineral water(this will close enlarged pores), then apply a nourishing cream or mask. The mask and cream work much more effectively after the bath, and the skin becomes like a baby’s: smooth and soft, pores are tightened, and wrinkles are smoothed out.

Exfoliation is the screen star's secret to velvety skin. After thirty-five years it should be done monthly. Especially recommended for women with problem skin and enlarged pores. Cleansed skin is exfoliated in beauty salons using special preparations. This is the best option if you have time and funds allow. Exfoliation is often combined with electrical stimulation sessions and compresses. Makeup is not applied after this procedure. It is best to exfoliate the top layer of skin at home after a steam bath. Most scrubs sold in stores are too gentle for this procedure and do not give the maximum effect. You can make a scrub for strong exfoliation yourself if you finely (very finely!) grind it in a mortar and mix shells with a rich cream (ordinary Black Sea rapana will do) or mix rock salt with a rich cream (there must be a cream base and some kind of exfoliating exfoliating agent) ). When the mixture is ready, apply it to your face in a thick layer and begin the exfoliation procedure. Using circular movements of your fingers, strong but not moving the skin (otherwise new wrinkles may appear), with massaging movements, begin to move from the nose to the cheekbones, from the mouth to the ears. Sensitive skin under the eyes and along the face and neck requires more careful handling. It’s easy to determine whether you did the procedure correctly: the skin after the procedure turns very red, the next day it begins to peel, but after 3-4 days the scales fall off and the skin becomes perfectly smooth and soft.

It is advisable to plan these three or four days so that there are no important events or celebrations during this time. I think you will agree with me that the process of “transforming” a caterpillar into a butterfly is not worth demonstrating to others.

There is often no need to invent new face and body care products, because ancient recipes are still successfully used. Secrets of women who, just like us, wanted to look young and seduce men with the “velvet” of their skin. For example, in Ancient Egypt The main skin care products were oils, they were applied to the body after ablution. The advertisement of one famous oil for children and women does not lie; it really perfectly moisturizes the skin and makes it velvety to the touch. But few people know that any oil, even ordinary sunflower oil, gives the same effect. To make the oil according to the recipe of the Egyptian priestesses, you will need a bottle of olive oil and aromatic oils. You add a few drops of concentrated aromatic oil (which one you choose, depending on your taste and mood) to the olive oil, and the cosmetic product is ready. Here you have skin benefits and aromatherapy - all in one bottle, and most importantly - no chemicals. Women with oily and problematic skin should apply the oil to damp skin after a bath or shower, and then dry thoroughly with a towel. Thus, the skin, which steams after a bath (and its pores open), on the one hand, is saturated with the oil necessary to maintain beauty, and on the other hand, the pores are not clogged with excess oil. Those with dry skin can apply the oil at least three times a day, but always on clean skin. The feeling of dryness and tightness will immediately disappear. By the way, men notice positive changes in appearance instantly. The question arises: why do you need all these widely advertised products of the chemical industry, packaged in beautiful bottles that ruin your budget, if there are natural (!) skin care products?

Another example from the experience of previous generations is the secret of Catherine Deneuve. In an interview, she admitted that she never sunbathed. According to her, it is better to deceive the viewer by applying dark foundation and blush than to spoil the skin and acquire wrinkles by baking in the sun. This advice is worth listening to if you don’t want to look like a monkey by the age of forty. The sun is more harmful to those who have fair, thin and dry skin. I really like it when my body is covered with an even tan, so I have to constantly make sure that my body is tanned and not my face. Naturally, I use facial skin protection products: an every day cream with ultraviolet protection and a special sunscreen for the beach.

The sun seemed to have been “dealt with,” but other weather phenomena also seemed to have declared war on female beauty. Remember the wind and frost, which makes your skin peel and your nose turn blue. And the woman again and again is forced to figure out how to protect her skin, so delicate and vulnerable.

One of the eternal women’s problems: on the one hand, you need to be outdoors more often, but on the other hand, it is harmful to the skin, especially if the “fresh” air is urban smoke and smog. Washing with rainwater and wiping with snow are no longer relevant for a long time, because it is not known which plant that produces the damn kind of crap a cloud flew over, and the water from the tap does not inspire confidence. To wash your face, a modern woman (read: “bitch”) uses mineral water. It is very convenient to pour it from a bottle into a spray bottle and spray your face morning and evening. Since childhood, mothers have told us about the benefits of walking in the rain and that powder deteriorates the skin. Today, it’s the other way around: you should hide from the rains under an umbrella, and foundation protects your skin from city smog. Positive effect The benefit that rain provides is hydration to the skin. Moisture is absorbed by the skin from humid air, so there is no need to get wet in the rain on purpose. If such a disaster happens and you get caught in the rain, when you come home, be sure to wash off the rainwater along with your makeup, wipe your face dry and apply a nourishing cream, because rainwater in the city contains various harmful compounds that the skin absorbs along with moisture.

But dangers await the poor bitch not only on the street. Dry indoor air is also harmful to the skin, especially in winter, when the radiators are heated at full power or the air conditioner is working “for heating”. Even if you regularly ventilate the room (I think you have already taken care of this), this still does not solve the problem. The easiest way to maintain a normal level of humidity is an aquarium and indoor flowers on the windowsills. The second option is trays with water under the radiators or under the same indoor flowers. I borrowed it from a bitch at home great idea combining design with utility. She placed ordinary pots in large trays with shells and pebbles sprinkled on the bottom and filled them with water. Beautiful and good for the skin. Drying clothes in the room also humidifies the air (I don’t like it because it’s unsightly), weekly evaporation of several liters of water on the stove (then in the apartment, like in a sauna, the wallpaper can come off), but, in my opinion, it’s much easier and more effective to spray it daily with a spray bottle indoor flowers and curtains.

You need to listen to your skin, you need to try to understand what it needs, and not stuff it indiscriminately with creams and lotions. The skin itself gives you signals, asking you to help it. What kind of help will this be, or a mask of eggs with lemon juice, or sweet water for washing (according to rumors, this is how Madame de Pompadour removed her makeup), you know very well yourself. The condition of almost any skin improves after clay-based masks (maybe that’s why geishas bleached their faces with clay?), but film masks are not suitable for everyone. Cereals- a long-time proven and proven remedy. A mask of steamed flakes will transform even the most exhausted face after a hard day at work into a “peach-like” miracle. Spending money on advertised products that supposedly smooth out wrinkles by 46%, and moisturize and improve color by 32% (I still wonder how they thought that?), in my opinion, is stupid. I have friends who smear themselves with expensive creams, and I also have friends who use domestic cosmetics, adding ordinary oil vitamins from the pharmacy to them, and they look great - 100%! Maybe this is just the case when it’s worth saving on yourself, your loved one? Buy one super-expensive (but, of course, effective) anti-wrinkle cream, and use the rest of the products from the refrigerator and pharmacy. It won’t take up much time, I give you my word, bitches. Cooking chops for dinner for your loved one? Apply them (raw!) to your cheeks for about five minutes (without makeup, of course), and then put them in the frying pan, where they belong. About this ancient folk recipe My grandmother told me about preserving beauty. The second recipe “from grandma”: boil white radish or white beets in milk, quickly cut into “slices” and apply to the face and neck (the root vegetables should be moderately hot) and lie down for fifteen to twenty minutes, dream or read a book. Now look at you - beauty. Well, how?! It’s not for nothing that skin is feminine, and women love to be pampered... Don’t you know this?

A woman before and after the procedures described in this chapter can be compared to a painting damaged by time and unfavorable storage conditions and “brought back to life” by the caring hand of a restorer. The secret to super skin is in your hands, so, as Coco Chanel said, “you can’t put them down.” Start taking care of her now, don’t put it off until later, and tomorrow she will fully thank you with his admiring glance and the gentle stroking of his hands.

A few final bitchy tips:

– a hard, well-soaped washcloth or “mitten” is an excellent substitute for body peeling cream (especially if you ask him to rub you harder);

– wash your face with water and lemon juice. The vitamin C contained in it perfectly tones the skin;

– wash your face regularly with herbal infusions;

– in the morning, when getting ready for work, make faces in front of the mirror. Don’t be afraid, you won’t have more wrinkles, and your face will be more toned and vibrant after such “charging”;

– quit smoking, and if you can’t, smoke a maximum of 10 cigarettes a day and drink more milk;

– never leave night cream on your face overnight. It is called “night” because of the time of its application - before the night. It is applied in a thick layer for 10–15 minutes, then the residue is removed with a napkin, otherwise the pores clogged with cream will not breathe;

– sleep at least eight hours a day. Sleep is the best cosmetic product;

– try to spend more time in the fresh air (in the park and at the dacha) and smile more often, then no one will pay attention to your wrinkles.

Cosmetics for a bitch

Today you are wearing French lipstick,

She put lipstick on her lips,

And I feel like I'm smeared

Your whole mouth is covered in my scarlet blood...

Group "Leningrad"

For a modern woman, cosmetics have long become not so much a means of “beauty enhancement”, but rather a set of makeup accessories for creating a certain type, with its own character, life principles and opinion about men. The “war paint” of some representatives of the fairer sex is simply impossible to explain otherwise. Sometimes one can only guess what a “seductress” wanted to express with one or another of her makeup; did she pursue the goal of luring a man into a fatal net or, on the contrary, trying to scare off annoying suitors? How often do we think about what really suits us? How often do we experiment with new colors (eye shadows, lipsticks, etc.) and products from cosmetic companies? As practice shows, most women over twenty-five years of age apply makeup automatically, without thinking at all about how men will react to the makeup applied. Cosmetic “touches” are applied out of habit, formed and consolidated during the development of various cosmetics. Fashion and style are changing, and age is steadily growing, but no one takes this into account. Therefore, during the day on the street you can very often meet a girl with evening makeup or an auntie “under fifty dollars”, made up like a teenage girl going to a disco. We have to admit one sad truth: cosmetics used by women as a means to attract men often scare them away, because most women do not know how, when and what kind of makeup to apply correctly, or how men feel about cosmetics in general.

The course of mastering the “cosmetic space” should begin with the slogan: “You should always wear makeup.” A woman without makeup is doomed to be a pale imitation of her skillfully made-up rivals. There is no need to indulge your own laziness by citing as arguments:

– that wearing makeup often is harmful;

– that the skin should breathe;

– that men love the lack of makeup.

These arguments have absolutely no basis. Let's start looking at them from the end:

– men who don’t like makeup actually mean too much of it and won’t be at all against seductively painted lips and long eyelashes;

– modern cosmetics are perfect for daily use and protect the skin from the effects of adverse weather conditions;

- the purposes for which modern makeup is used - at a minimum, not to scare off a man, but at a maximum - to “drown” him in the pool of your (painted) eyes, to make him exhausted with the desire to touch your seductive lips (painted) and velvet cheeks in a kiss ( powdered).

Most of us do not have perfect skin, long eyelashes, bright lips with a clear contour, but men do not need to know about this, and therefore cosmetics come to the aid of women. The bitch knows her way around a variety of cosmetics like a duck to water. She knows how to choose high-quality cosmetics and how to keep a cosmetic bag in order so that it is not a warehouse of dirty tubes and dirty cotton swabs. The bitch’s makeup bag looks like it’s not embarrassing to take it out and open it in public. At the same time, if the lid flew off the box, the compact powder broke into a thousand pieces, and your favorite lipstick was worn down to the ground - this does not mean that they need to be thrown away. Cosmetics with defects are perfect for... home use. The powder can be crushed and used as loose powder, and lipstick can be applied with a brush (of course, also at home). One memory from distant childhood remains in my memory about the older sister of my classmate. In the evening, young people from all over the block gathered on a bench in the gazebo, and the “babies”—younger brothers and sisters, whom their parents sent for a walk with their elders “for fun,” hovered nearby, eavesdropping on “adult” conversations. In the midst of the gatherings, a local beauty, for whom most of the male population of the area was pining and suffering, came out into the courtyard - that same older sister. Her lips sparkled from the breathtakingly fashionable pearlescent lipstick that her father had brought from a business trip abroad. The girls looked with envy at the owner of seductive lips, suppressing sighs from the impossibility of acquiring such a miracle. An hour or two passed, and the “miracle lipstick” disappeared under the influence of the seed husks. And then the heroine of my story took out a tube of lipstick and a mirror from her pocket and began to pick out the “radiant essence” from the tube... with a match. And use the same match to smear it on your lips. After this gesture, the entire aura of stylishness and high cost immediately disappeared somewhere. And the “luxurious beauty” with mother-of-pearl lips immediately, as in the fairy tale about Cinderella, turned into a village girl with a sloppily painted mouth. I had a similar feeling almost twenty years later, when I saw one bitch’s makeup bag: a stylish handbag and expensive cosmetics, even matched to the color of the cases. There were few of them, but how it looked! I immediately remembered that “horror”, safely hidden in my bag, which I tried to open under the table or in splendid isolation so that no one would notice the eye shadows and pencil shavings scattered throughout the cosmetic bag, peeling packaging and melted lipsticks. Then I made one promise to myself, which I keep to this day: my makeup bag is my second face.

The image of a bitch is made up of little things. And a cosmetic bag is a huge “trifle” that both men and women will definitely pay attention to. No matter how perfectly my makeup is applied, if I take lipstick out of a small trash bin, then all my efforts to create the image of an expensive and stylish woman will at least go down the drain. It is best to have two cosmetic bags: one (not taken outside the apartment) with products for applying basic makeup, and the second with the minimum necessary for correcting makeup; it is always in your purse.

Contents of the first cosmetic bag:

– foundation (ideally there should be two of them: one darker and thicker, the second light and lighter in consistency);

– correction pencil;

- loose powder;

– blush;

– shadows (shiny and matte, several shades from the darkest to white);

– lipstick (two or three tubes are enough to have time to use them before the unpleasant smell of old fat appears). If you are used to applying lipstick with a brush, add that to your cosmetic bag;

– lip pencil (chosen a tone darker than the lipstick, but of the same color. If there are two lipsticks and they are very different in color, there should also be two pencils);

– mascara (waterproof and regular). A bitch will never buy blue or green mascara - it's cheap and vulgar. During the day she paints her eyelashes with dark brown or dark gray mascara, and for the evening she saves black, creating the effect of “velvet” eyelashes);

– eyeliner or pencil for eyes and eyebrows. The bitch knows that at all times the sexiest eye shape was considered almond-shaped. “Cat” eyes can be drawn with a pencil or eyeliner, making sure that the lines are perfectly straight and that the applied shadows and pencil do not smear throughout the day. Sexy eyes are drawn by filling the upper outer corner of the eye with dark shadows or a pencil.

Contents of the second cosmetic bag:

- lipstick;

- lip gloss;

– a small package of shadows;

- compact powder;

- lip pencil;

– eyeliner or eyeliner;

– a small tube of foundation (what if you can’t get home today?).

And now a few words about how bitches fill their makeup bags with contents and how they use them. Primacy in popularity in the cosmetic assortment should rightfully be given to lipstick.

Pomade

Most women begin cosmetic experiments with it in adolescence, and when they become grandmothers, they do not leave the house without “smearing” their lips. Women subconsciously feel that during visual contact and conversation the interlocutor pays great attention to their lips. Lips and eyebrows give expression to the entire face. That's why we (quite deservedly) love lipstick so much. A bitch NEVER buys lipstick from a tray at the market. Only expensive lipstick fits well on the lips (and looks good in a cosmetic bag). Expensive – this means no less than three or four dollars (quite acceptable quality lipsticks from companies that distribute their products through network marketing). There is no need to skimp on GOOD lipstick! During our lives we “eat” more than five kilograms of this “product”, so in this case we are talking not only about beauty, but also about health. Who will guarantee that Chinese Vaseline sweets do not contain any nasty stuff that is prohibited from being eaten in large quantities? But we also “poison” men a little - they also eat lipstick when they kiss us. But even if you don't look that far, there is another very compelling argument in favor of expensive lipsticks. They lie smoothly on the lips and smell delicious! An expensive, unobtrusive smell (not sweet-candy-caramel, like the “cheap” ones) is felt when the bitch speaks or just passes by. This light aroma (together with the smell of perfume) captivates a man and pushes him to think about a kiss. High-quality lipstick does not need additional advertising for durability, color, moisturizing properties, or super-shine. The manufacturer and price are a guarantee that all the best qualities are present by themselves. And the last “touch”: according to my observations, expensive lipstick (from fifteen dollars and above) lasts twice as long, because it is applied to the lips in an even thin layer and almost does not wear off or smudge. It does not melt in the heat and does not pellet on the lips in the cold.

How to choose a color?

Nothing could be simpler. For daytime use, especially in combination with pastel-colored clothing, soft and matte shades are suitable, and for evening use brown-burgundy and red-burgundy. Red lipstick color is the most capricious. It goes well with clothes of black, white, dark blue, and for red outfits you need to choose lipstick in strictly the same tone as the clothes. If you paid attention to photographs in women's magazines, you probably noticed that bright lip color is not popular among models, regardless of the shade of hair and clothing. Too brightly painted lips make you look old, make you look like a vampire, and attract the attention of others. Bright lipstick is best left for evening makeup. Brown lipsticks suit almost everyone, while pink lipsticks suit blue-eyed and blondes. Brown hair and brown eyes do not go well with lipstick in lilac, violet and pink shades. If you are not sure that the shade is chosen correctly, then it is better to apply the lipstick in a very thin layer so that the color is not so obvious, or mix it with a lipstick of a different shade with a brush. Another way is to first outline your lips with a contour pencil, and after applying lipstick, carefully blend the contour line with a brush.

To make lipstick last longer and not smear, it is better to paint your lips like this:

– outline your lips with a contour pencil. Outlining can make them larger (the lips are outlined, slightly “climbing” onto the skin) or smaller (the lips are “drawn” inside the contour of the mouth). Be sure to bring the line to the corner of your mouth, otherwise your lips will look underpainted. The drawn outline must be perfectly smooth. If the line has gone “wrong”, there is no use in correcting it - the lips will still look slightly skewed and sloppy. Better to erase everything and start over. The pencil needs to be sharpened well, and then carefully cut off the very tip with a sharp blade so that it is not too sharp. For the first training sessions – brown-pastel shades, then you can move on to brighter colors;

– lightly powder your lips;

– apply lipstick (with or without a brush);

– gently blot your lips with a piece of paper (this looks like a light kiss on the cheek);

– insert a piece of paper between your lips and squeeze them (excess lipstick will remain on the paper and will not stain your teeth). Teeth covered in lipstick is a truly disgusting sight that a bitch can never afford!

– smile!

Lipstick has one unpleasant feature: during the day it “eats” unevenly and spreads over the wrinkles around the lips, so you need to carefully monitor the condition of your lips. If the charming “painted” mouth has begun to look like a shapeless spot, then it is useless to wipe it with a handkerchief and try to draw with lipstick over old art. It's better to erase everything and paint again. And don't forget to get wet!

Advice: in order for regular lipstick to last as well as “super-resistant”, after applying the first layer of lipstick, gently blot your lips and powder them again, then apply a second layer and blot again with paper.

You will only need lipstick removers as such for long-lasting lipsticks or pencils. Regular ones can be easily washed with a cotton swab or handkerchief.

The final touch to lip makeup is shine. It is he who focuses attention on the lips and adds seductiveness to them. You should not apply gloss to chapped lips, because it emphasizes and enhances all defects, even the smallest ones! In order for the lipstick to lie perfectly evenly, the lips, as well as the skin of the face, need to be cleaned with a scrub and lubricated with a nourishing cream.

Advice: how to apply gloss correctly to avoid the effect of “varnished” lips and the lipstick not to smudge? “Grab” a little glitter with a brush and place three dots on the lower lip and two on the upper lip - at the same distance from each other and from the corners of the mouth. Using the pad of your finger, lightly smear the gloss over your lips, being careful not to press so as not to disturb the layer of lipstick.

Mascara

In second place in the ranking of means of a “lethal” effect on men are the eyes. A real bitch will never paint her eyelids with bright pink shadows, she will never line her eyes with a thick black line underneath. The bitch always makes sure that the corners of her eyes are clean and her eyelashes don’t stick together from excess mascara. With the invention of waterproof cosmetics, a revolutionary change occurred that allowed women to avoid looking like “pale-faced squaws” in pools and on the beach. But, in my opinion, the main advantage of waterproof mascara is that it does not spread into ugly black streaks from men’s kisses.

Advice: if the new mascara is too liquid and sticks your eyelashes together with needles, leave it slightly open for a day or two. Excess moisture will evaporate, the mascara will thicken and acquire the desired consistency.

You shouldn’t waste money on a good mascara, just like lipstick, because high-quality mascara has almost no smell, lays on your eyelashes evenly and without lumps, and doesn’t leave black powder under your eyes. With it you can forget about “tricky” tricks: combing eyelashes and separating them with a needle.

Advice: With inexpensive mascara you can make up your eyes no worse than those of advertising beauties. Apply a thin layer of mascara, then lightly powder your eyelashes and reapply mascara. This is how our mothers painted their eyes in their youth, when mascara came in boxes that you had to spit into before applying makeup.

When applying makeup, you need to take into account men's wishes and tastes, because we try for them. True, representatives of the stronger sex often find it difficult to formulate their opinion on what they don’t like about makeup. The fact is that when a woman is made up tastefully and in moderation, men do not notice her makeup at all!

So, as a rule, men don’t like:

– a thick layer of foundation and/or a complexion that differs from the color of the neck due to incorrect selection of the tone of powder and foundation;

– heavily powdered face, especially with skin defects;

– nose shiny with sweat;

– blush applied “a la matryoshka”;

– peeling nail polish (especially bright ones) or poorly painted nails;

– excess lipstick that accumulates in the corners of the mouth;

– excess mascara on eyelashes;

– the smell and taste of old and cheap lipstick;

– eyebrows-“strings”, drawn up to the ears;

– foundation in the hair roots and eyebrows;

– an abundance of hairspray when the hairstyle is “standing”.

"Bitchy" advice

– If your new lipstick breaks at the base, don’t be upset, pick out the remains from the tube, put them together with the broken piece in a nice jar (metal or glass) and put it in a “water bath”. The lipstick will melt into a homogeneous mass and can be applied to the lips with a brush.

– A bitch will NEVER paint her lips with transparent pearlescent lipstick after lining them with a dark or bright pencil. It's cheesy and cheap.

– The main law of applying shadows: they must be shaded well so that there are no sharp transitions, and the darkest shade must be applied close to the eyelashes, and the lightest shade close to the eyebrows.

– Cosmetic sets with many compartments are inconvenient and impractical because, at best, only half of the cells with your favorite shades are used. But it’s a pity to throw away an unused set, and therefore a dilemma arises - either throw it away, or paint with something that doesn’t suit you in color. Isn't it easier not to buy at all?

– If you managed to buy two tubes of your favorite lipstick inexpensively at once, put one of them in the refrigerator, on the shelf of the door. This way the lipstick will not age for a long time and will retain a pleasant smell.

– Why shouldn’t you use liquid shadows and lipstick? They spread quickly and require close attention. The shadows gather in the folds of the eyelids, and the lipstick tries to “crawl” beyond the pencil outline. A complete hassle!

– Dark powder or foundation can be used instead of blush.

A little about foundation and powder

– For evening makeup, foundation can be applied generously, for daytime makeup – more sparingly.

– If the foundation applies unevenly or is too thick, add a drop of day cream or makeup remover milk to it and rub it in - the consistency will become thinner.

– When the air temperature is above 25 degrees, in bright sunshine and if the face sweats profusely, do not apply foundation.

– On a face with pronounced defects (pimples, irritation, peeling, scars), foundation is applied only after intensive cleansing with a scrub.

– The complexion after applying foundation should match the color of the neck.

– For evening makeup, foundation and powder are applied not only to the face, but also in a thin layer on the neck, shoulders and arms.

– The powder will be almost invisible if you apply it more generously on the cheeks, around the mouth and on the forehead, and also in a thin, imperceptible layer on the nose, around the eyebrows, under the eyes, along the hairline and on the chin. It is in these places that the “powder” is visible first.

– If your skin is far from ideal, at work, set up a table so that you sit with your back or at least your side to the window.

– In a cafe or restaurant, the heat or dancing can make your makeup “float.” Of course, it’s much better to go to the ladies’ room and touch it up, but if for some reason this is not possible, take a place in advance so that the light source is behind you.

– A small light source on the table in a cafe or restaurant (for example, a candle) will give your eyes sparkle and emphasize the curl of your eyelashes.

– Nail polish will not dry out until the last drop if, before screwing on the cap, you exhale air into the bottle and immediately screw it on.

– Acne is not just a problem for teenagers. How many times has a red dot on your forehead or cheek ruined your mood for the whole day? There is a little secret on how to deal with this problem. Using a light green pencil or eye shadow, apply a small amount of dye directly to the pimple. According to the law of color, when you combine green with red (the color of a pimple), you get a beige color, similar to your skin tone. Tone and powder are applied over the correcting pencil.

– Spicy moles on the face are emphasized (after applying powder) with a brown pencil.

– Eyebrows are the most important detail. If you use tweezers, do it every day, not missing any discolored hairs.

– Day makeup Apply ONLY (!) in daylight.

– An evening dress will not look good without bright (so-called “evening”) makeup.

– Find in a magazine or watch on TV which famous actress or model looks like you. Try to do makeup like hers.

– Makeup looks more natural if you lightly tint the earlobes with blush, go along the contour of the forehead near the hair, chin, tip of the nose and the “double chin” area (even if there is none).

– Apply white or very light shadows (pearl shades are also possible) under the eyebrows and in the inner corners of the eyes (on the upper eyelid). This visually highlights the eyes, makes them look younger and gives the makeup a fresher look. This is how women painted their makeup back in Ancient Egypt - a dark outer upper corner and a highlighted inner one. One warning: eyebrows must be plucked and groomed.

– Dear, can you imagine, I’ve lost five kilos!

– Try stepping on the scale after you do your makeup...

Like many other things, bitch makeup differs from the traditional one described in women's magazines. It can be applied completely against the rules and not with the most expensive cosmetics, but still look “one hundred percent”. Most men do not understand anything about cosmetics (of course, if the man is not a makeup artist), therefore, unlike women, no, no, and even slipping you a tube with a “thermonuclear” color, men try not to give cosmetics. But next to any man there will definitely be a female person (mother, sister, ex-lover), who with great pleasure will go through your manner of making up your eyes, your false (top left) tooth, and will tell you about the cheapness of your lipstick and its disgusting smell. Previously, when I caught gazes from women, I often began to feel embarrassed, thinking that I had done something wrong, looking for smeared mascara or “creeping” tights, and then I realized that they were looking at me precisely because they were learning from me. , spying on how to dress and put on makeup best. Since then, I have not “complexed”, and sometimes I even become wary, not noticing appraising, envious or admiring glances on myself. I immediately have thoughts: “Am I really not looking as good today as always?”

“Bitchy” makeup should always (!) be applied in such a way that even a woman cannot dig it. And this can only be achieved if you turn makeup from a daily duty and ritual Indian coloring into an entertaining hobby and experimenting with your appearance. This means that from today makeup “becomes at the service” of the new image. Not a single extra movement - it’s better to sit all evening in front of the mirror, trying on how and what to put on makeup, than in the morning, with a trembling hand, apply your usual makeup to a face rumpled from sleep. Remember, just like clothes, there is no fashion for makeup. Paint your face with whatever and however you want, as long as it is beautiful.

The second extreme is an excess of cosmetics per square centimeter of skin on one female face. Don't "fly" this phrase at cruising speed. Remember her! According to my observations, half of the women scare off men with their pale green, unpainted faces, and the other half with their Indian paint. There is practically no middle ground. Supporters of “war paint” do not part with their cosmetic bag even in the sauna and in nature, constantly, like picky artists, adding more and more new touches to the “priceless masterpiece.” They are so unaccustomed to seeing themselves without makeup that in the morning, looking at themselves in the mirror, they involuntarily get scared and try to paint their face before no one sees them. The same thing happens in the evening: after washing, the woman quickly runs to the bedroom, in which the light has been turned off in advance, so that even her husband does not see the “horror” that has revealed itself. They become slaves to cosmetic diversity and no longer think about the fact that their image and age have changed. As a rule, they put on makeup for the sake of the process itself, and not for the sake of attractiveness, not forgetting to put on makeup even when going to the fitness club. After an hour of intensive training, luxurious makeup turns into a monotonous gray mass, becomes covered with beads of sweat, and drips onto the tracksuit in greasy drops. When it really becomes clear how durable our cosmetics are, it’s when washed. But enough about the sad things, isn’t it time to break the vicious circle and experiment with makeup, because any theory is helpless and useless without practice.

I suggest you choose one of the listed options for bitchy makeup, or rather, the concept that matches your lifestyle, taste, situation and individual characteristics.

Naturel- They say about this kind of makeup: “you need to put on makeup so that the makeup is invisible.” As a rule, supporters of this approach do not have complexes about their colorless face or, on the contrary, have beautiful dark eyelashes, good skin and bright lips that do not need to be adjusted in shape. If I had all of the above, I would also become a fan of this style. On the other hand, sometimes looking at women in transport or taking a closer look at your acquaintances, you involuntarily begin to think, why don’t they switch to “naturel”? It certainly couldn't have been worse. Natural style is not just about makeup. This is a style of clothing and life: healthy food, comfortable and bright housing with an abundance of natural materials, indoor flowers. Suitable for natural makeup: linen and cotton clothing, jeans, leather sandals, moderate highlighting. Not suitable: hairspray, little black dress, “shooting” eyes, brightly colored hair, large and bright jewelry. The “bio” style is fashionable, although an emphatically correct lifestyle has always scared men away. There is an option to use the style only with sportswear (for which makeup and jewelry are generally not recommended).

Examples: the film “Species” – a specimen performed by Natasha Henstridge, the film “The Little Mermaid” – the Little Mermaid herself.

Vamp makeup. This style does not require you to have scarlet lips, like a vampire, and eyes that close from the weight of the applied mascara; this is an extremely common misconception. A vamp woman is a seductress. It was this version of makeup, clothing and demeanor that began to be associated with a woman-bitch, just like a long coat, hat and glasses with a spy. It is he who is most often described in books and found in films, and is caricaturedly adopted by women of any age. The vamp woman's makeup is designed in classic colors. The lips are bright, but in moderation. A vamp woman will never buy pink, purple or carrot-colored lipstick, or paint her lips with colorless mother-of-pearl (even at a resort). For eye makeup, she uses all shades of brown (usually she loves golden ocher tones) or gray. Mascara is preferably black, lengthening and voluminous. Eyebrows-threads, skillfully tinted with a pencil. Blush to match the lipstick is a must. Without them, the eyes and lips will not “sparkle”, the face will look shapeless. The following are suitable for a vamp woman: a fur coat made from an expensive animal, a little black dress and clothes in dark shades, thinness, plain hair color (without highlighting or tinting), black tights, stilettos, leather clothes, languid looks. Not suitable: “ram” on the head, dyed “blondness”, sportswear, jewelry made from ornamental materials, vanity and the smell of perfumes cheaper than 50 dollars per bottle. The house of a vamp woman is designed in a classic style or slightly “mowed” to look like an antique: a dressing table with bent legs, a luxurious bed in the style of Louis XVI, soft fleecy carpet, twilight and the smell of her perfume.

Examples: Uma Thurman in the film "Pulp Fiction", Marlene Dietrich.

Classic blonde- a popular image that any man is partial to, is exploited with might and main by bitches. It’s very convenient for bitches to play on the image of narrow-mindedness and pliability, because men subconsciously associate blondes with these character traits. Men are ready to forgive a lot for being “blond”: feigned coquetry, frivolity, self-interest and women’s whims. Bitches take advantage of this, covering their essence with golden curls and wearing kilograms of hair dye. Natural blondes do not always have the intelligence to understand what treasure they own, so the initiative goes to dyed brown-haired women and brunettes. They courageously paint over their overgrown roots to conform to the masculine ideal. There is always something touchingly childish about a classic blonde, even a super-sexy one. This is an exaggerated image, but this is what makes it attractive to men. This “trick” was once very accurately “seen” by Marilyn Monroe - the symbol of all blondes and the midnight dream of soldiers serving compulsory service. Look at the heroines she played in films, they are weak, insecure, touching, sometimes susceptible to temptation, sometimes not very honest and always (!) not too smart. They are blondes and that's it. Any makeup for a blonde is suitable, but not too vulgar (although she will be forgiven even for that). What suits a classic blonde: revealing dresses, high heels, bright (but not pretentious) jewelry, blue and sandy eye shadow, curls, coquetry. Not suitable: burnt and dry ends of hair, overgrown roots, the image of a market trader or barmaid. The blonde's house can also be anything - a man will forgive her for that too. Funny trinkets, irrational furnishings, teddy bears and a cabinet filled with ladies' things. No, she's not really stupid enough to take it seriously, but she knows that all men are big kids and are often attracted to women who are more like childhood friends than mommies.

Examples: Marilyn Monroe, Madonna, Pamela Anderson.

Oriental beauty(aka Scheherazade Stepanovna) - this bitch seems to be woven from the fairy tales of One Thousand and One Nights. She looks like a witch and an unearthly “peri” (“beauty” in Eastern). This image will go well with: long flowing hair, clothes with oriental motifs and shoes with pointed toes. But she looks just as natural in “every day” clothes, or even better – without them. “Scheherazade Stepanovna” envelops a man with a languid voice, gentle wisdom and exquisite sex. She doesn’t have to be an oriental woman by origin, because an “oriental beauty” is a comfortable shell that allows her to put on a few extra grams of makeup so that they don’t seem superfluous, wear long clothes (not everyone has perfect legs, after all), flaunting her shoulders and chest . Eastern beauties could afford a few extra kilos of weight and did not feel less desirable because of it. Suitable for “Scheherazade Stepanovna”: everything oriental (but without excessive passion for national motifs), “arrows” on the eyes, an abundance of jewelry, bracelets on arms and legs, bright nail polish and eye makeup. Not suitable: a sweater from a Chinese market with glitter, sportswear and army-style clothing, peroxide-scorched hair. The house of the “eastern beauty” speaks for itself: a four-poster bed, soft fur on the floor, candles and incense on the table.

Examples: Aziza, Gina Lollobrigida.

Bitches can be very different, but each one is extremely sensitive to her face and cosmetics. If you have money, be sure to go to a makeup artist before the holiday, just keep in mind that he will make you up tastefully, the way it suits you, but a little brighter than you are used to. By the way, a makeup artist is often invited to promotions and applies makeup for free. Look carefully at what he does and how he does it, at every movement and shade of color. Even if you don’t like the result, an outside perspective is important in any case, because out of habit, we wear makeup the same way “every day,” and this will bring some kind of novelty to your appearance.

There are many subtleties and little things in makeup that you will understand over time. And it is necessary to use men for this. You can directly ask a man his opinion about an acquaintance and, having heard the answer, begin to analyze it, because this is exactly the case when you need to learn from the mistakes of others.

Glasses or contacts?

– How can you fight if you wear glasses?

– And I first look carefully at the enemy, and then fight from memory.

To be honest, at first I didn’t intend to write this chapter at all. My eyes didn’t hurt, and until recently I safely thought that everything was fine with them, until the ophthalmologist pronounced a verdict: minus two and a half. Not so great, what myopia, but the problem arose, if only because I did not know at all how my relatives and friends would react to my new image. Some immediately said that I looked like a teacher, others sighed sympathetically - they say, goodbye to beauty, others began to clumsily flatter, claiming that the glasses give me additional charm. To form my own opinion, I started studying the market for frame and lens products, and this is what came out of it.

Glasses can be matched to any clothing style and face. The common misconception that glasses suit some people and not others, only worked in the distant past. Soviet times, when the choice of frames was limited to two shelves with terrible plastic products. Since childhood, we have had a stereotype about “bespectacled” people as weak, defenseless and somehow flawed people. In transport, I often noticed that men with glasses first of all pay attention to women with glasses, as if they were companions in misfortune. But was it due to misfortune? Let's think about glasses not as a forced necessity, but as an interesting accessory that will complement your image.

Glasses with small diopters will not change the shape and size of your eyes in any way. A few extra touches to your usual makeup, and you’ll be completely different. Glasses are even useful for work; they make you look more serious and businesslike. I know one manager who, having no visual impairment, specially ordered glasses with thin gold frames in order to make a favorable impression on clients.

When you put on glasses or contacts, you will immediately begin to feel that people have become ugly, with sharp facial features. Your self-esteem may even drop due to the fact that before you didn’t notice all the wrinkles and pimples on your face, but now they suddenly all popped up on your face at once, and for some reason your makeup won’t be too neat, and your eyes will be painted in different colors. -different. This is far from a cause for concern, but on the contrary – an opportunity to look at yourself with “sighted” eyes.

Makeup “under glasses” has several features that a bitch should definitely know about. You can paint your eyelashes thicker, but be careful with the wings and eyeliner. Under glass, any mistake will be doubly noticeable. Eyeliner that is too dark visually makes your eyes look smaller, and with glasses this is immediately noticeable. If you used black eyeliner before, replace it with gray or brown, apply shadows from eyelashes to eyebrows, the higher, the lighter, carefully shading. With any frame shape there should be no sharp transitions from one color to another. If your frame is green, then you should not paint your eyelids with blue eyeshadow, and if it is brown, then it is better to choose eyeshadow in the same range. Lipstick for glasses is a must; bright lipstick or any lipstick that emphasizes the shape of your lips will work well, otherwise you will look like that pale, bespectacled person you can find in any library. Glasses are the same part of you as your hair, lips, clothes, jewelry, and you cannot ignore it. If you are used to bright makeup, then the frame for it is chosen to be as inconspicuous as possible - two pieces of glass on thin metal wires, like pince-nez.

I will give you Some tips for choosing frames. A good store is a must. They don't sell good glasses in the markets! In addition to a large selection of glasses and frames, optical specialists offer additional services: vision diagnostics and a guarantee that you will not get on the market. High-quality frames are presented by well-known manufacturing countries - Italy, France and Germany. In a company store, you can relax and not have to worry about the quality of the glasses and the clarity of the inscription on the temple. The price will also say a lot about the quality. You almost never see counterfeits in branded stores, because they, as a rule, try to “keep the brand.” And there is an opportunity to try on anything - from “business” models to the most “sophisticated” ones. If you buy only one glasses, choose something universal, for all occasions. At your place dark hair? This means that the frame needs to be chosen in a bronze or dark brown color. A universal option that suits everyone (all you have to do is choose the shape) are small glasses with metal frames. By the way, the best models for work are those that fit perfectly on the face due to the fact that their arms move apart to the sides by more than 90 degrees and can even slightly change the length using a special spring mechanism. It is very comfortable. If you often wear gold, choose a frame made of yellow metal; if you wear silver, choose a frame made of white metal. If your eye falls on a red-pink frame, keep in mind that you will have to purchase lipstick of the same tone to go with it. Horn frames don’t suit everyone and don’t go with every outfit, but if you choose a second pair, buy this one. It goes well with business suits and looks stylish with retro-style clothes. The third pair is a ceremonial and weekend pair. If you have money, don’t skimp and buy an elegant metal frame (there are models made from precious metals). When choosing a frame, think about the impression you want to make: to seem like a business woman or “your girl,” an elegantly luxurious or a young fidget. Mentally, without taking off your glasses, imagine how not only what you are wearing now, but also other wardrobe items will look with them, so that it doesn’t turn out that you have to buy three bags of new clothes to fit the frames.

Lenses for glasses come in glass and plastic. Glass ones are less scratched, but more fragile, while plastic ones are lighter and more practical. Glass comes with anti-reflective effect and titanium coating, which protects against scratches. Plastic, if desired, is painted in various colors, which makes prescription glasses look like sunglasses.

What glasses does a bitch never wear? – “A la Tortilla Turtle”, with massive jewelry, cheap plastic and with too bright frames. A bitch will never put her glasses on the table with the glasses down, or in her purse without a case. By the way, a case (sometimes incorrectly called a “glass case”) is an important accessory that ideally should fit a cosmetic bag, a wallet, and a handbag. Branded glasses usually come with a case (another reason to visit the branded store). But if you decide to buy the case separately, do not look at the inexpensive boxes with the names of well-known companies - these are fakes. Walking around with such a case is not respectable, especially for a bitch. Opt for a discreet case in a neutral color.

If everything described above does not convince you that glasses are a sign of style, then I will say a few words about contact lenses. They relieve all vision problems and give grace and self-confidence, especially if you perceive glasses as nothing more than an annoying necessity. The lenses are ideal for an evening dress and for a romantic evening with your loved one. With them, unlike glasses, the likelihood that they will fly off during a dance, or that your partner will prick himself on the headband in bed, is completely eliminated. By the way, you will also have to take care of your makeup - too oily cosmetics (face tone, liquid shadows) can stain your lenses. I advise you to apply loose powder before putting on the lenses, because if even a grain of it gets into your eyes when the lenses are already on, you will have to remove them and wash them. In my opinion, it is better to slightly adjust your makeup after putting on the lenses. It’s the same story with eyeliner – one awkward movement, and the lens moves to the side and gets dirty. It is best to use mascara that is hypoallergenic and waterproof so that particles that fall off during the day do not get into your eyes. And if your eyes start to water, waterproof mascara will guarantee that the streaks won’t be the same color as Pierrot’s tears. You should always have a bottle of eye drops, a lens case, a clean tissue and lens solution in your purse.

Glasses and lenses can be alternated, like clothes and makeup. For work - glasses, for going outdoors - lenses. I will not describe in detail all the nuances of choosing lenses; it all depends on the amount of money you are willing to spend. An experienced consultant in any optician will tell you everything about the products that are on sale. I think you've heard about colored lenses. Should I wear them or not? I wouldn’t recommend it, it smells cheap, especially if you are no longer 19–20 years old. But, if you really want to, at least don’t choose too bright ones (they look unnatural). Under grey eyes Blue lenses are suitable, and green lenses are suitable for brown ones. It is better to slightly enhance the natural color than to change it completely.

Sunglasses Bitches are a must have in your purse, not just if you’re going to the beach. One of my friends learned to walk straight and beautiful solely thanks to them. Walking with her head held high, she constantly bumped into the gazes of those walking towards her, became embarrassed and shyly lowered her eyes again. Glasses create the illusion of security, a barrier from which not only the sun's rays bounce off, but also gazes. But don't think that your eyes aren't visible with glasses. There is a category of both men and women who, hiding behind dark glasses, stare at the opposite sex, thinking that no one notices. Are you not like that? Congratulations! Then remember a few tips for wearing sunglasses correctly.

Their name speaks for itself. Sun protection means from the sun, and not to cover bare eyes. This means that they must be taken off indoors, and in the evening, when there is no sun, they are not put on at all. If you think that sunglasses are only for summer, I want to disappoint you, you can wear them at any time of the year. Sunglasses go well with business suits and leather clothing. If you suddenly want to look like a French beauty, tie a scarf, but not under the chin, like grandmothers, the ends of the scarf are wrapped around the neck and the knot is tied at the back; put on brighter lips and glasses. Believe me, it will turn out very stylish. You don’t have to take off the glasses, but put them up on your head: it looks beautiful and perfectly replaces the hairband that the bitch never wears.

And finally, the final touch, which you probably already guessed yourself. Glasses are a very fragile thing, so be prepared for the fact that while you get used to them, you will have to throw away a pair that you accidentally sat or lay down on. My first glasses with plastic lenses were eaten by a dog (without any harm to its health). Remember once and for all: no matter how much the frame was purchased for, if it is cracked or bent and cannot be repaired in a workshop, throw it away and don’t regret it. It is not even suitable for home use. It’s like drinking tea from a cracked cup or keeping a bundle of torn tights “under your pants” in the far corner of your closet. This is contraindicated for a bitch! This is not even economy or frugality, but pettiness bordering on “redneckness.” Don’t hesitate for a second, throw it away, otherwise you’ll look like a grandmother in a frame covered with tape, or with a string behind her ear. And this is absolutely not bitchy.

Manicure and pedicure secrets

My wife is crazy. I was finally convinced of this when I saw her shaving... her heels.

I first thought about the effect that my nails produce when I was about eighteen. Of course, before that, I also regularly did something with them, but somehow I didn’t think about what kind of magnetic effect they have on men. female hands. It was in a cafe, where a young man invited me. A friend from another city came to see him that day, and I was asked to take a friend with me. Naturally, my bitchy nature told me that a friend has the right to exist only if she is good enough, that is, not more beautiful than me. Therefore, after a careful selection, I chose the candidacy of one former classmate. Olga is a tall and pretty girl, but, compared to my thin figure, she is somewhat boxy. She also has a small problem with her breasts, Olga even joked: “And my breasts are like my dad.” I protected myself from competition. The evening went according to the planned scenario: we danced, drank and even sang to the accompaniment of a local orchestra. It was fun, my friend liked Olga (he later moved to our city and they dated for a long time). And now let’s talk about how this story relates to women’s hands. After walking Olga home (she lived not far from the cafe), I found myself in the company of two men who were discussing my girlfriend. On the one hand, the situation is awkward, on the other hand, it’s interesting to hear a man’s opinion about a woman and take their comments into account. Naturally, curiosity defeated decency, and I “opened my ears wider.” My gentleman began to kindly make fun of his friend on the topic: “What did you see in her?”, and he suddenly “in all seriousness” answers: “Have you seen her fingers?” And then for about fifteen minutes she talks about the shape of her impeccably manicured nails, about the delicate skin of her hands, at one glance you just want them to run across her chest and further down. It turned out that all evening he had been imagining (when she, gesticulating, told another story) how her hands would lie on his back, how they would unbutton his shirt and fly, how they would caress him and stroke him, pinch and scratch. I stole a glance at my hands. Everything seemed to be neat, but upon closer inspection, I noticed that the varnish (very light) had peeled off slightly. I’ll be honest, my heart feels disgusting when compliments are not given to you. From that day on, I declared war on unkempt fingers. Subsequently, I was told many times that I have very beautiful hands, that no one has such marigolds, that I am a “white-handed woman” (this is from women) and can seduce with one movement of my hand, like a swan princess (this is from men) .

Often men, with their confessions, without knowing it, provide us with an invaluable service. There is only one thing left to do - to hear. One of my coworkers divorced his wife. After work, we sit in a cafe, drink coffee and cognac (I often have the opportunity to act as a psychotherapist or priest, as in confession). A colleague says that he divorced his wife because of... a manicure. The fact is that his wife was simply obsessed with the beauty of her hands and feet. Every evening, putting a basin on the floor and a bunch of bowls and bottles on the table, she sat down with her husband in front of the TV. And she began making baths, planing and sawing, trimming, painting, covering her nails with strengthening solutions and fixative (you probably know how many nail care products are on sale now). And the husband was forced to retell, gritting his teeth, fragments of the film that his wife missed while removing another hangnail. Over time, the wife began to devote almost all her free time to her hands and feet; her manicured fingers “refused” to be washed, they “demanded” more and more new varnishes and strengthening agents. No, of course, the wife’s hands and feet really looked amazing (I saw them myself), but refusing a man to have sex with him just because he had long-drying expensive varnish applied to his nails, in my opinion, is extremely stupid. And, naturally, for him this was the last straw. You already know how it all ended. His new life partner was extremely cool about manicure; she had neatly trimmed short nails, which made her hands seem almost childlike. And the colleague doted on these little hands and often did the “female” housework himself. From these two stories, I drew conclusions: firstly, it is best for men to show ready-made nail “masterpieces” (after all, the sound of a file and the smell of nail polish remover is pleasant only to the woman herself, who is anticipating a mind-blowing result), and secondly, excessive enthusiasm in person can lead to the fact that they will prefer a woman who will pay attention and care not only to herself, but also to her man.

Another option for an unsuccessful attempt to make your hands attractive is a French manicure. You will laugh, but I interviewed fifty men, and among them there was not a single fan of this type of nail design. One day, having bought a set for a French manicure, one of my friends ran home as fast as she could to quickly try this miracle. An hour later, the nails shone with a white-pink shine, and only her fiancé, who was due to appear any minute, could evaluate the result. The betrothed came, but did not pay any attention to the new “outfit” for the nails. No matter how she twirled, no matter how she gesticulated in front of his nose! Finally, as women often do, she couldn’t stand it and asked: “Don’t you really notice anything?” Naturally, he answered in surprise that no. Then my friend proudly showed off her nails - “Look!” And what do you think she heard in response? - “Oh, you’ve got fungus on your nails!” The story ended happily, they laughed at this story together for a long time and told it to their friends. And my friend has since called the products for French manicure “a set of fungal infections.” I concluded that there are nuances in a woman’s image that one in a hundred will be crazy about, while the rest will snort contemptuously or ridicule them as bad taste. It's the same with manicure. All men love ordinary, neat, beautifully varnished nails, but only a few men love French manicure, exclusive manicure with painting, rhinestones and rings inserted into the nails. Everyone likes natural nails (even those that are not too long), but false nails are not for everyone. Long nails are, on the one hand, sexy, but on the other hand, they are terribly inconvenient and indicate your “lack of housekeeping” (with such nails you can only clean frying pans, they say).

There are no secrets in manicure and pedicure. Basic rule: manicure and pedicure MUST BE! Always and at any cost. Manicure - once a week, pedicure - every two weeks. Beautiful hands and feet are not a small thing, so in the evening, even if I really want to sleep, I wash off the old polish, lubricate my hands with cream and set the alarm clock 10 minutes earlier so that I have time to paint my nails. Over several years of experiments (very expensive, I want to say) I chose from all the remedies and advice those that actually work. If you want, you can check it yourself:

– nails must be repainted if the varnish begins to peel off, even if just a little, even if almost imperceptibly. Don’t feel sorry for the old one, erase it and paint it again;

– if you repaint your nails, be sure to erase the bottom layer, do not cover up the “bald spots”, otherwise you will get ugly;

– to make the polish last longer, apply it to oil-free nails. It is not necessary to lubricate your nails with nail polish remover, as in the salon. If you paint your nails after a bath or washing dishes, the effect will be no worse;

– if one nail is broken, cut the rest as well;

– if your nail has just started to break, and you have an appointment, run to the salon, they will fix it so that it will be as good as new;

– buy expensive varnish. It will last for one and a half to two months, because expensive varnishes last longer. Even better is to paint the varnish onto the base and cover it with a fixing coating. If you do not wash and wash dishes with gloves, one coating is enough for a week;

– the varnish is matched to the color of clothing and jewelry (for example, silver to match a silver evening dress) or to match the lipstick. To achieve perfect color matching, buy polish and lipstick from the same company, with a similar packaging design (i.e. from the same series), then both lipstick and polish will be equally bright or equally pearlescent;

– if false nails are not corrected in time, they look disgusting. Don't bring them to this state;

– if your nails are brittle and you want to grow long, lubricate them daily with lemon juice, keep them in a salt bath for 10–15 minutes, and then rub a drop of nail oil (sold in every pharmacy) or any aromatic olive oil into each nail or castor oil. I assure you, such therapy is better than any products with proteins, silk and God knows what else;

– for the skin of your hands, it is quite enough to nourish it with cream a couple of times a day and do a light massage. Keep a tube of cream in your desk drawer at work. I washed my hands, lubricated them, felt tightness and dryness, and took out the tube again;

– two varnishes of different colors should never be painted on top of one another to create a third one. You still won’t apply the makeup perfectly; somewhere a piece of the bottom layer will show through. Isn't it easier to buy the color you want?

– nails are painted completely, from the cuticle to the very tip, from one corner to another. A strip of varnish, and at the edges - a nail left white - this is as wrong as the corners of the lips not painted with lipstick;

– to make the polish stick better, first apply it to the edge of the nail, and then apply it further until you reach the cuticle, after which cover the entire nail with a few strokes;

– always keep a nail file, scissors, nail polish remover and polish on hand, because nails break so often and polish gets chipped off on everything;

– the skin on the nails does not need to be trimmed (in most Western salons the cuticles are not trimmed). But in order to prevent the skin around the nails from becoming rough, every evening the hands and nails are washed with a brush, then lubricated with cream and oil, and the skin is carefully pushed aside with a special spatula, which is included in any manicure set;

– a manicure with cuticle trimming is called “Russian” in the West; with such a manicure, nails look more graceful and longer. But they do it only after steaming their hands;

– to strengthen your nails and prevent splitting, I recommend lubricating your nails with hygienic lipstick every evening. It's like she's polishing her nails. The effect is amazing;

– in winter, if your hands become chapped, it’s good to pamper them in the evenings with an oil bath (you need to slightly heat any oil and hold your hands in it until it cools down);

– the second option is to smear your hands with cream or oil and wrap them in a towel soaked in very hot water;

– the bitch doesn’t really like the square “spatula” shape of her nails, slightly pointed ones, the classic shape is much sexier;

– buy good scissors (although they are not cheap) in a special store that sells tools for beauty salons, they will serve you for many years;

– Do you know what the “death” of scissors and tweezers is? This is when a man found them on a shelf and cut his toenails. There is only one salvation - to hide;

– manicure kits that are on sale are more like mini-torture instruments. In the salon, the master only uses a spatula (trimmer), scissors and tweezers, so why spend money on unnecessary and incomprehensible devices?

– if you don’t have time for a manicure, wash your hands well with hot water and scrub your fingertips and nails with a facial scrub. Your hands will immediately look neater;

– rubber gloves are not very convenient for household chores, but you quickly get used to them. The savings on varnish are obvious, and add the time it takes to return the “toilers” to their original appearance each time, and think again, are the gloves really that uncomfortable?

– the main thing in nail care is habit. If you force yourself to regularly take care of your hands for a month or two, then they themselves will reach into your cosmetic bag for cream, and the sight of peeling nails will begin to irritate you, like a splinter in your finger;

– with feet everything is simple: if there are no “corns” and calluses on the soles, and the heels do not burst, then a scrub and foot cream will be enough. If you have problems, don’t skimp on a professional pedicure, because healthy legs also mean good health and a beautiful gait.

Why does a bitch need hands? No, not for tapping on the keyboard with false nails, not for picking your teeth (there are toothpicks for that), not for endless “travels” through clothes, revealing nervousness and self-doubt. The hands of a bitch are a tool for seduction, this is an indicator of her persistence in moving up the bitchy ladder. What kind of success and career can you talk about if you are too lazy to wipe off the old polish in the evening? Self-care is a part of self-discipline that will be useful in everything. It is also respect for the man who is nearby, because it is not for nothing that they say that a man is judged by his woman. And what good will they think of a man whose lady appeared in public with hands like those of a collective farmer after harvesting? Beautiful hands give you self-confidence. Is it possible that with a bad manicure you will be able to clasp your hands, thoughtfully support your head with them, gesture during a conversation or sign documents? Can you smoke beautifully with peeled nails? How will you feel in a shoe store, crawling into the far corner so that no one can see your cracked heels and month-old polish residues? I'm not talking about the beach, sauna and pool at all.

Your arms and legs are an indicator of your success, your position in life. If your hands are not in order, neither gold rings nor outfits from the best couturiers will save you. We’ll talk about the bitch’s business card later, but first, think about what hand you’ll give it to, will the hand become your first and main business card?

Cover up and expose, or Bitch as an office decoration

A diet, like a dress, needs to be selected according to your figure.

Joan Rivers

They say that they are greeted by their clothes, but they are seen off by their intelligence, that is, by how the person communicated and how adequate he was. It turns out that ideally clothes should correspond to the mind, internal content, be quite original, to hint that its owner is a creative person, neat and clean so that there is no doubt about the purity of his thoughts, quite expensive so as not to be taken for cheap; she, like thoughts, should be fine- no one needs crazy people, and harmonious in color scheme– it’s just more pleasing to the eye.

Taking care of yourself and your clothes is not only pleasant, but also profitable. According to statistics, attractive employees earn 5 percent more than average-looking employees, and 15 percent more than ugly ones. Can you imagine how lucky we are, women, who, unlike men, have at our disposal a variety of beauty products. The calculation is easy to do. And even with this modest difference you can buy a lot of stylish items for your wardrobe.

It’s easy to say, but it’s almost impossible to put into practice without skill, a personal dressmaker and a tidy sum in your pocket. The thing is that the modern clothing market seems to have been specially created to frighten the enemies of the Fatherland. There is practically no middle ground: sometimes they will sew sequins on a quite decent thing anywhere, sometimes they will stick embroidery with Lurex. I won’t say anything at all about the “Death of Versace” styles, but I’ll focus on the sizes. Briefly about the sore point.

And who, girls, are they sewing all this for? How to narrow your butt three times horizontally under fashionable low-waist jeans? How can you explain to the blouse you like that in Russia there are no breast numbers with a minus sign? In what language should we explain to Chinese fashion designers that dresses should be at least long enough to tuck into trousers? It’s difficult, difficult and painful, fellow women, but it’s beautiful... it’s about shoes. But what should you do if all the figure-flattering things that make you lose weight even as you put them on are only suitable for tortured “Spanish boots”?

However, all of the above applies least of all to business clothes, because the most you will find in stores is a decent white blouse, several styles of boring suits: a skirt-jacket or trousers-jacket, a simple dress under the same jacket, or something pretentious or not for the theater, not for a crazy office - a la Tom Clym. Even jewelry for a business woman is not easy to choose: everything is too large, clumsy, flower-like, everything blinds with stones and drags her hands with shackles, as if saying “it’s not a woman’s business to work on a computer.” I won’t talk about business fashion at all – it’s as if it doesn’t exist at all. It feels like the dress code is a direct instruction to wear the antique “armor” inherited from your grandmother. Sometimes the best decision is to go to a good dressmaker. When you start earning decent money, you will be able to go shopping in Europe a couple of times a year. Believe me, it’s not that expensive if you time your trip to coincide with the sales season and don’t buy anything during the breaks. As a result, your wardrobe will be replenished with decent things, and they will not cost much more than their Turkish-Chinese counterparts.

A stylishly dressed woman in an “office outfit” is incredibly sexy, charming, and inaccessible. Business clothing is also a win-win on the other hand: it is easier to choose (there are not so many colors, textures and styles), it is easy to combine things, which means that the costs of building a wardrobe will be lower. Business clothes are out of season: you can wear a blouse in the summer, put a jacket or dress made of thick fabric over it in the fall, then a coat or fur coat. It’s always easy to choose beautiful dress shoes to go with such clothes, and the bitch’s always-favorite “stiletto heels” look simply awesome in combination with a business suit and beautiful legs.

You should start with plain and simple things - a few blouses, one or two jackets, two or three skirts, a pair of trousers. Don’t forget about formal dresses - they’re both feminine and businesslike. It is most convenient to choose the first wardrobe, including shoes, bags, accessories, in one color scheme, for example, all white and black + one more color or all shades of beige and brown. Gray clothes (but not a “mousy” shade) look expensive and stylish; a red or burgundy jacket also has a place in your wardrobe. But about “stylish business suits” in pink, blue and yellow flowers I'll have to forget - these are colors for home and relaxation, but not for work. If you really lack the colors of summer, buy a bright skirt under a plain jacket and a simple blouse. Or vice versa: wear a colorful jacket over a little black dress.

Don’t forget that black and white are universal colors, they can be combined with any others, but red, orange, purple, and light green are very capricious. Green and yellow always go well with brown; business wardrobe items in a not bright dark blue color, as well as in ivory color, look impressive.

Buy expensive shoes and a bag, but simple in style and preferably black or dark brown. The banal truth that a bag, shoes, belt, gloves and other “little things”, especially in business fashion, should be in the same color scheme and look harmonious together, could not be repeated if I were sure that you had read my other books. But I’m not sure, so I also remind you that you don’t wear tights with a pattern to work, and don’t wear tights that are darker than your shoes.

A little later you will learn how to select ensembles. For example, I really like to wear bright shoes under a simple dress and tan-colored tights and take a bag that matches them, and tie the same bright scarf around my neck; you can also find a belt in the set. Naturally, all bright things should be the same color - red, orange-green, burgundy, blue, etc.

A piquant addition to a business wardrobe always looks impressive and stylish - a scarf tied with the ends back. Expensive sunglasses that match the suit will complement the image of a business bitch.

If you want my opinion on cute sweaters, my answer is: better not wear them. Is it completely cold in the office and is it blowing from all the cracks? Buy a couple of woolen, thin, not too long sweaters, or even better, a jacket, you can choose short or long, thin or chunky knit. Such clothes are not included in the standard business wardrobe, but they look very appropriate in the office and, unlike the baggy knitted items respected by teenagers, they do not make you look fat. You can experiment with vests. They keep you warm perfectly, and besides, you can store a vest or jacket at your workplace - sit in your office and keep warm, and leave it on the back of your chair when you go out.

I could describe the styles for a long time and give advice on how to cover up bony knees and a looming hump, but I won’t do that in this book. Firstly, you will still forget everything you read in ten minutes, secondly, any practical step is better than volumes of theory, thirdly, no one learns from other people’s mistakes, and you will still have to make mistakes in the wardrobe issue yourself.

In the publishing house where my books are published, for 3 years now they have not been able to find an author for the book “Training good taste" It's hard to learn style, but it's even harder to teach it to others. They will learn the color wheel, learn how to correctly combine colors - a “marriage” will appear in the texture or style of things, study fashion trends and styles - they will want to bring “big fashion” into everyday life. A subtle sense of good taste tends to break, stumble, agree to “a little bit different,” but this should not be allowed. That’s why I hired an artist to work on this chapter, who, under my strict guidance, drew outfits befitting any business bitch. Not all of them are definitely business, but not all of them require a “dress code.” You can make adjustments to this or that style yourself. Your experience, as well as TV and fashion magazines, will help you with this. Everything is clear with magazines, but on TV you have to find a bitch who is most similar in appearance (including build), image and demeanor to you. This could be an actress or TV presenter, or even the heroine of your favorite TV series. The main thing is to capture the “energy of the character” and pull on his image. From this point of view, it is very useful to watch films where the heroine transforms from Cinderella into the Princess, and just shows and films in which a lot of money is poured in, including for stylists and outfits for the main character. Fashion shows and reports from the lives of stars, award ceremonies and beauty contests - you have a difficult but enjoyable job ahead of you.

Everything else: makeup, hairstyle, manicure - should fit perfectly with the suit and be part of the whole image. A French manicure and a minimum of cosmetics are ideal for a light jacket: a good foundation or powder, matte shadows and lipstick without shine in a natural shade, and don’t forget about mascara. If the jacket is red or black, you can line your eyes, use glitter lipstick and bright nail polish. There is a little secret: wear bright lipstick and nail polish under modest clothes (for example, a little black dress or a burgundy blouse). This will be enough to prevent black from scoring. In addition, all attention during the negotiations will be focused on your hands and lips, which is also important.

Keeping your head and arms and legs in order is a troublesome task. I can give you some advice from personal practice. First, choose a hairstyle that does not require lengthy styling. After all, it often happens that after the hairdresser you feel like a doll, and the next day you look like a scarecrow. I recommend getting your hair cut and dyed (use only professional dyes and forget about “kitchen coloring”) in a salon with one specialist, but if you do a manicure, you can call a manicurist to your home - it’s cheaper and saves time. At home, by inviting a specialist, you can do facial massage (only in the morning, otherwise the effectiveness is reduced by 3-5 times), masks, general and anti-cellulite massage, plucking eyebrows and facial cleansing. But there are procedures that are worth going to the salon for - and the atmosphere is completely different, and the specialist has all sorts of devices at hand, and sometimes you just want a change of scenery and don’t care about saving time and money.

Of course, it is advisable for a business bitch to be thin and slender - and it is easier to choose clothes and they look more impressive. In addition, a business woman demonstrates self-discipline in everything, and if you have been unable to give up worshiping the refrigerator for many years now, you can’t even dream of any career. True, I hasten to please you, there are not so many fat women among career women: there is too little time left to eat a hearty, well-planned meal, and too little energy to prepare pickles. This is for the best: a bitch who goes on the “warpath” must be strong, agile, fit, always ready to jump, like a predatory cat. Excess weight for a career woman it is an unnecessary burden and a hindrance, because now that she earns decent money and is confident in the future, she does not need “reserves” on her hips and stomach in case of hungry times. And she doesn’t need psychotherapy in the style of “you’re not so scary, my cellulite.” That's why she's a bitch. Believe me, I have the right to say so (see the cover of the book “Slimming School for a Bitch”). And now, having kissed my sleeping two-month-old daughter and given instructions to the nanny, I will go get ready for work and, in spite of all my friends who assured me that after giving birth, I will not return to my former shape, I will put on a tight little black dress - the most bitchy element of a woman’s business wardrobe.

Business bitch and features of her image

The suit should be tight enough to show that you are a woman, but loose enough to show that you are a lady.

Edith Head

The best place to show off your best self is the office. Every company has it, be it a publishing house, a trading company or a factory for the production of rubber products. No matter how much they tell me about the unique charm and sexuality of the “overalls,” I will never believe it. In my opinion, only a pervert who dreams of sex with a partner dressed in an orange railroad jacket or a police uniform could fall for such an outfit. But almost all men are attracted to doctors’ uniforms and frivolous outfits of waitresses, not to mention the “professional outfit” of strippers. But this is also a kind of “special clothing”? I have long noticed that the range of opinions about a business wardrobe varies from the “gray mouse” option to the beach-vulgar option of equipment. There is practically no golden mean. In this chapter we will look at the classic version of personal design, used in order to earn the honorary title of “the face of the company.”

I’m not going to explain to you the common truths that your head should be clean, your tights intact, and your nails manicured, especially since many chapters of this book are devoted to issues of bitchy beauty. It is much more important for a future businesswoman to know how to combine business style with visual appeal, how to be beautiful and not scare away your business partners with your beauty, how to dress so that you are taken seriously, and the client looks at the contract, and not at your knees. Outstanding external data of a business woman is of no use, especially since there is an opinion that beauty does not go hand in hand with intelligence. Remember that classic beauties always act mediocrely in films and on stage, they become peaceful, curled up on the chest of the next owner of a Mercedes, and the pinnacle of their desires is lunch in a prestigious club and relaxation on the shores of any of the non-domestic seas. Therefore, if God did not give you long legs, luxurious hair and a Hollywood smile, consider this a hint: your destiny is a career, not a catwalk show.

Let's start preparing for the exit, no, not into the world yet (although that is not far off), but to the office. A bitch’s business wardrobe differs from clothes “for every day, but not for the office” and from evening dresses. A simple example: for a Sunday shopping trip or for a walk with your beloved man, you don’t have to wear a bra if the shape and size of your breasts allow it, but you should always wear a bra to work. Nipples that puff up from the cold and show through a blouse are a dubious part of a business image. The following should be excluded from your business wardrobe:

– clothes with fringe and glitter;

– overly tight-fitting outfits, especially dark colors;

– clothes with lace, large bright buttons, lots of bows and ruffles;

- sportswear;

– translucent things;

– ponchos and similar shapeless capes;

– “gypsy” skirts and blouses with a deep neckline;

– sweaters “a la hippies”, stretched out from long wear;

– leather clothes, if it is not a coat or jacket;

– outfits are too colorful or “acid” colors.

A plaid business suit, electrified skirts and trousers that stick to tights, a skirt with panties peeking out from the waistband when a woman sits down look ridiculous. The “pants” of tights peeking out from under the skirt look disgusting. Once in one office I came across a girl in a business suit and high-heeled sneakers. Perhaps she wanted to get rid of her annoying boyfriend in this way? Business style does not tolerate trendiness. Shoes with curved clown toes, embroidery, bows, and platform shoes are appropriate for a disco, the beach, or a walk with the dog. To work, they never wear shoes with massive soles, brightly colored ones that bind the foot with a “torture block.” Walking around the office in house slippers or flip-flops (I've seen this too) is the other extreme.

Why are we talking about business fashion? Let's not lie to ourselves and honestly admit that even when getting ready for work, each of us hopes to hear a bunch of compliments addressed to us, pick up a handsome client who is ready to lay all the achievements of his business at your feet, and tease our colleagues a little. For many women, going to work is the only opportunity to show themselves, to go out into the world, and for many men, work is the only place where he sees beautiful and well-groomed women. After all, not everyone is lucky with bitch wives who know that when you meet your husband in an old robe or tights from a tracksuit, you can easily lose him. When a man says that a woman “dresses well,” this means that the man likes her, he wants her, and the clothes emphasize her attractiveness, in style or color - this is a secondary issue. “Dressing well” means dressing appropriately, following established conventions. It’s these conventions that we’ll talk about. The bitch simply has to know about them.

Clothes for working in a bank or in an art studio will naturally differ. In creative circles, some liberties and deviations from the canons are allowed.

The bitch, as you already understand, changes the rules in her own way and only benefits from this. For example, your usual style is a business suit in its different variations. Someone said that the rule is confirmed by exceptions. Surprise your colleagues with a stunning outfit at a corporate party, or show off your breasts or legs at a colleague’s birthday party. In the summer heat, it’s not at all necessary to cover yourself up, but wearing a T-shirt with thin straps is also too much. Remember a few rules of style:

1. Buy only those clothes in which you feel comfortable, as if it were your second skin. It is impossible to be seductive and graceful in clothes that are too tight, wrinkled, and ride up when you sit down. Convenience and beauty are quite compatible things.

2. Long jackets are contraindicated for short women.

3. It is acceptable to wear a jacket with classic jeans.

4. The optimal length of the skirt is somewhere around your knees, but you can only choose it exactly yourself, focusing on the shape of your own legs. Keep in mind that the popular length “to the middle of the knee” requires an almost ideal shape of the legs and does not even suit all models. Overweight women I recommend opting for trouser suits or options with a long flared skirt and a short jacket.

5. Chase not the quantity of things, but their quality. Most employees and customers are well versed in brands and prices. And the fact that the expensive dress is the only one, and was bought at a second-hand store, is not worth telling anyone.

6. A little black dress is a great “work outfit” for a petite woman.

7. Knitted items will fit into a business wardrobe only if the knitwear is of high quality, without pilling from washing, and the item has not lost its shape from long wear.

8. Business style is not a kingdom of mousy shades, as some women understand it. Why can't a business suit be scarlet? This color scheme for a business wardrobe will suit a slender brunette very well. There are no colors (with the exception of very “acidic”) ones that cannot be worn to work. Business fashion is strict about their inept combination and abundance of details, and about observing “seasonality.” A canary-colored outfit will look ridiculous in the “icy winter season,” but on a sunny April day it will cheer up your boss and colleagues.

9. The youth version of a business suit looks sexy on tall women. Wide trousers, a baggy jacket, a shirt similar to a man’s. The set will be completed with a short women's tie and comfortable shoes, again similar to men's.

10. For thin lovers of retro style, I advise you to purchase a long fitted jacket and a blouse with a turn-down collar and cuffs. The set will be completed with narrow pipe trousers.

11. Nothing harms the image of a businesswoman more than sloppiness. If the habit of sharing your lunch with clothes, decorating them with drawings of a writing pen, or using them instead of a rag is yours, opt for fabrics with patterns. All “pockmarked” colors, small checks, and ribbed patterns will suit you. Avoid wearing wet silk and white clothes (except for blouses covered by a jacket).

12. The wardrobe of a business woman who wants to present herself with special chic should include belts and scarves, stylish and expensive jewelry (even if it’s costume jewelry).

13. Vests perfectly diversify the “sweater-blouse” wardrobe. This is where you can feel free to choose a style.

14. The image of a “curvy” business woman will not be harmed at all by pants that fit her buttocks. This is just that portion of sexuality that only a complete prude would call vulgar.

15. Carefully ensure that lost hair does not accumulate on the back of your jacket. Very often I see “businesswomen” with “hairy” backs. At the slightest suspicion of dandruff, avoid dark clothes. On a beige jacket, dandruff is invisible, but on a black jacket it immediately catches the eye.

16. The hairstyle of a business bitch is different in that it does not require an hour of styling every morning. Bitch is a busy woman, and she doesn’t mind sleeping an extra hour. The other extreme is a short haircut with chemicals, which makes the hair of the owner (usually a plump aunt of about forty-five) look like the hair of an uncut poodle.

17. Accustom yourself to the fact that you cannot wear a light blouse on the second day. You should be the epitome of freshness, so allow yourself the luxury of wearing a freshly laundered blouse every morning!

18. The best option for choosing outerwear is a raincoat, coat or fur coat. Wearing a down jacket with a business suit... Let’s not disfigure our own psyche by imagining how not to dress.

19. A universal wardrobe item is a short jacket. It fits almost any outfit, skirt or trouser style.

20. If you’re short on money, fork out for an expensive jacket of any color and style, and buy the “bottom” in black, so that there are no problems with the compatibility of individual wardrobe items.

Another piece of advice for business suit lovers: you should never buy an inexpensive synthetic suit. Let there be one, but of very high quality: wool, silk, even synthetic, but with a natural lining. Cheap suits and jackets never fit your figure properly, they make you look fat, restrict movement, and the lining tends to come out of the sleeves and on the back. Synthetics, as soon as you sweat even a little, begin to smell bad. Sewing suits to order is also a troublesome task and necessary only for those who have a very non-standard figure. Sewn jackets are somehow subtly different from purchased ones. A trained eye will always determine what kind of thing you are wearing and how much it costs (brand of watch, quality of leather of your shoes, cost and quality of jewelry, brand of writing pen and quality of business cards).

The slightest little thing can destroy a carefully crafted image. No matter how you dress up, no matter how long you spend applying makeup, a man will first look at your feet, and therefore at your shoes. Are you sure you can pass the exam? It is not appropriate for a business woman to appear in the office without tights or stockings in any weather, even the hottest. Each of us has minor defects on our “second face”: broken capillaries, cuts and irritation from shaving, “goose bumps” on the knees. Why expose something that should be hidden? The role of powder and foundation for the legs is played by tights, both in winter and in summer - but very thin, flesh-colored. Always wear socks under trousers. Should I wear striped leather sandals to work? No, the bitch won't wear it. Is it hot in your shoes? Buy sandals with an open heel and closed toe or with cutouts on the sides. The shape of the legs of most representatives of the fair sex is not worth putting it on public display. Open sandals visually increase the size of the leg; in addition, they are strictly prohibited from being worn over tights. Wear them “barefoot” anywhere, but not to work, yes, about the pedicure, I hope you haven’t forgotten?

A businesswoman's shoes, by definition, should not be blue or pink, even if she is wearing clothes of that color. First of all, black pumps that go with everything, secondly, another black shoes, but with higher or lower heels, and only thirdly, beige or brown; I wouldn’t recommend paying attention to other colors at all. Is it boring to live like this? I found something to amuse people with! Or do your feet look so terrible that you need bows, rhinestones and embroidery on your shoes to distract attention?

We all, of course, like to think that our rich inner world and amazing set of character traits in themselves should attract people (especially men) to us. However, belief in the irresistibility of one’s own beauty does not in any way reduce the amount of cosmetics used. A business bitch “puts on makeup” in order to please men and herself (it remains unknown what is more important). In order to become the face of your office, this face must first be... drawn. This is what we will do with the help of a simple set of tools for defeating men’s hearts.

End of introductory fragment.

* * *

The given introductory fragment of the book Stervology. Lessons in beauty, image and self-confidence for a bitch (Evgenia Shatskaya) provided by our book partner -

Women literally kindergarten are taught that they must be good. Girls should be sweet, affectionate, please everyone and take care of everyone.

Pop culture doesn't encourage bitchiness in women, so they think it's enough to be good and everything will work out on its own. When a woman feels that she needs to become independent, a problem arises in her life. Very often women remain good at the expense of their own personality and their needs.

As you have already seen, men do not like women who do not know their worth. Read the following list and you'll be able to put everything into place. Men secretly love bitches. They like women who can stand up for themselves. And now they will tell you in their own words why bitches turn them on so much. This is their most important secret, but it will no longer be a secret to us.

1. “When you make fun of a woman and she responds with a witty and rather venomous response, it’s a huge turn on.”

3. “In every man there lives a child - capricious and stubborn. It’s nice to know that the woman you love knows how to resist such nonsense.”

4. “Sometimes I start arguing with my wife. It’s not that I want to get her in trouble, but sometimes I’m in a bad mood and I take it out on her. When she puts me in my place, it increases my respect for her.”

5. “I like women who don’t play games. Her self-confidence suggests that she knows something that I don’t know. And then I say to myself: “Uh-uh, for a woman like that It's worth hitting!"

6. “When a woman is constantly sweet and kind, it gets boring.”

7. "If a guy thinks a woman is stupid, he won't take her seriously or respect her point of view. If a woman is truly smart and capable of living her own life, I'm flattered that she wanted to be with me. I feel like I got something valuable." .

ATTRACTIVE PRINCIPLE:

Most men don't respect women who are too obedient.

8. "When you're trying to do something that you don't think is right, and a woman tells you, 'I don't have time for this,' it's a huge turn-on. It depends on the situation, but in general I like women who can stand up for themselves." own interests."

9. “I like women with a twist. I like it when a woman is not afraid to express her own opinion and argue with me.”

10. “A woman should not forgive lies. Sometimes it annoys me, but I can’t help but admit that it turns me on terribly.”

ATTRACTIVE PRINCIPLE:

Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and voice your own opinions. This will not only help you gain the respect of a man, but sometimes it can also excite him.

11. "I like women who can put me in my place when I know I deserve it. A woman who understands her own strength is very sexy. I like women who aren't afraid to rock the boat."

12. “Men respect women who do not tolerate mistreatment.”

13. “I treat women as equals, so I like it when they compete with me in wit. I like women who have a sense of humor and can make fun of me. I like to compete and play.”

14. “I like women who are determined and temperamental. I know they won’t let me get the better of them. Pride is very sexy.”

15. “A bitchy woman is very sexy. You guess that she can be a real tigress. But with a good girl you are always afraid that she will run to complain about you to her mommy.”

PRINCIPLE OF ATTRACTIVENESS:

Men often automatically assume that a bitchy woman is much more creative and relaxed in bed, and good girl modest and boring.

… The most important- strong women were invented by men. The wording itself.

Such women do not exist in nature and should not exist.

There are women who are forced to hide behind a mask of “strength” because life circumstances push them to do so...

Lolita Milyavskaya

The main metamorphosis occurs with a woman when she gets tired of being gray and useless to anyone, becomes embittered by men’s dislike and betrayal, and by the meanness of her colleagues. The external gloss and manners of a catwoman, a luxurious fur coat and clothes that fit like a second skin will appear much later. Friends will also appear good dressmakers, and the ability to navigate the ocean of female temptations, feel men and twirl them as you please. But without an internal attitude towards bitchiness, without crazy self-confidence and daily work on honing a new way of life, everything will go down the drain, turn into cheap affectation, and will look unnatural and funny. A bitch is a new skin, a new philosophy and lifestyle. Are you ready for the fact that there will be no turning back? Are you ready to make up your mind once and for all? If yes, I promise you success with men and the opportunity to make a career, I promise that the right to choose will always be yours. But I don’t promise that you will be loved and you will be happy. The peculiarities of transformation into a bitch drive you into the framework of constant conformity and self-improvement. You're the best. A month or a year will pass, and you will no longer be able to sit quietly in front of the TV, because the experiences of the next Isaura will seem stupid and far-fetched to you. You will become uninterested in your friends with their womanly problems and men, at whom you previously cast an admiring glance. The Bitch is in many ways a perfectionist - she strives to surround herself with the best in order to improve herself. Are you ready for such changes? To envy and gossip from yesterday's friends and their attempts to return you to the way it was before? Gray people, against whose background you will light up as a bright diamond, will want to trample you into the dirt, force you to become one of many, ridicule you. You also need to be prepared for this. You must become very strong, and I will help you with this. I will convey to you all my experience, all of myself, with my bitchy reincarnation. Believe me, I perfectly understand and feel your doubts and even feel your sarcasm regarding me. I will put a weapon in your hands - a new philosophy of life, I will teach you how to use it, but decide for yourself whether to use it in life or not.

“I love myself for a long time...”

Life is full of relaxation

you just have to know how

Mina Suari

No, we are not talking here about self-satisfaction in the absence of male affection. Loving yourself is the key concept of all psychology: getting rid of complexes and feelings of guilt, self-doubt and numerous useless experiences. Very often, self-love is confused with selfishness, they say, while I had a complex, everyone used me, but now that I am confident in myself and am not afraid of anything.. Remembering the rule of the “golden mean” (we have already figured out that a bitch stands as times between a housewife and an emancipe), the bitch does not go to extremes. She is not selfish, but not altruistic either. In the West, “loving yourself” means alienation from the problems of other people, awareness of yourself and your needs as the most important value in life. For a Russian person, this state of affairs is unacceptable, because we are more social people, we like to visit and even help each other, we are kinder. Western civilization is built on the fact that people are strangers to each other, therefore there familiarity is generally not accepted; people are much less likely to be friends at work; they almost never visit each other (except on major holidays). A person turns into a cog, a winding machine that gets up for work in the morning, sits through his working day in front of the computer and rushes home to lounge in front of the TV with a bottle of beer and watch the next baseball game. The evening will continue with boring sex and sleep without colorful dreams. Is this self-love? A well-fed “hamster” life, when no one uses you, because no one needs you. There are similar people in every country in the world. They cannot live without TV, they love to talk for hours about yesterday's illness or the miraculous properties of a new type of tea. They buy advertised products without hesitation and love to sleep, eat and drink. When I look at such people, I remember the movie “The Matrix”, and I feel a little uneasy. A person who has no complexes just because he has too little brains is scary. It’s not difficult to love yourself, so rare and unusual, against the background of such dullness. The difference is too big not in their favor. But you just have to compare yourself with other bitches, and your confidence immediately disappears, you seem to yourself to be a clumsy ugly woman with whom men sleep out of pity. Betrayal and separation from a loved one hurt one’s self-esteem, driving one into melancholy and depression. It turns out to be a balancing act between crazy complacency and a sense of one’s own insignificance. This is where hysterics and attacks of self-deprecation, looking down and the desire to humiliate those who are more successful and beautiful originate. It’s very simple to say “from today on I will love myself,” but not everyone can do it. We all suffer from an inferiority complex. A correspondent for one of the magazines interviewed the most famous actresses and models and found out that they were also not happy with their appearance. One thinks she is overweight, the other suffers from congenital flat chest. If they are so complex, then it would seem that we should immediately go and hang ourselves. A bitch must learn to love not only herself, but also other bitches, because they provide the opportunity to learn, to hone the bitchy technique to perfection. Why not love them? Healthy competition and natural selection are the engines of progress. I’m talking about this because you can’t build self-love on envy and hatred of other people’s successes. There is no such thing as white envy, but black envy disfigures a person both outside and inside. Remember, a bitch never envy anyone. She does and acts in such a way that she achieves the object of envy or understands that what she achieved came to the person not from a great mind, but from dishonest machinations that she will never agree to. Isn't this a reasonable explanation for the irrational nature of envy? After all, envy destroys without bringing anything in return. Why is it important to learn to love yourself? Because without this, expensive cosmetics and stylish things, social manners and all the secrets of seducing men will be useless. Because you cannot control an unloved body with such hateful folds. And you can’t put makeup on a dissatisfied face either. Sit down and think: what about your appearance annoys you? A big nose? Cleopatra had the same one! Crooked legs? Look at Catherine Deneuve. Thin hair? Kristina Orbakaite is in the same harness with you. We live in a very fortunate time when there are no standards of beauty. It was in the Middle East that puny blondes with receding foreheads were popular, the Renaissance glorified red-haired fat women, and in China girls’ feet were bandaged to keep them small. Today you can be a beauty with any type of appearance, you can dress however you want to highlight what you need and hide what you don’t need. Isn't this a reason for joy and self-love? Think about it (just without looking away from reality), what can you change in your appearance to make you feel more confident? Maybe lose five kilograms or go to a solarium so that your skin doesn’t turn blue? Take an inner look at all your shortcomings, make a real assessment and... come to terms with what you will never improve. If you were born this way, why worry about it? Why torment yourself with the words “I’m ugly, no one loves me”? They will fall in love, men have a very good sense of self-confidence and fall for it like flies. Self-love will relieve tension and give ease to your movements.

Self-love begins with daily self-admiration

(in the good sense of the word) and taking care of every cell of your body. After all, the body feels your attitude towards it: if you love it, it blossoms, gets sick less and even loses weight in order to please you even more. It loves gifts and when you “pamper and cherish” each of your fingers and toes, it loves delicious food (in reasonable quantities). It’s nonsense that you can’t eat unhealthy foods.

If you deny yourself them and worry about it, it will turn out much more harmful. If you want to eat, eat, but know when to stop. Hang a photograph on the mirror you approach in the morning. Choose the one where you like yourself the most. Admire, take an example not from abstract magazine beauties, but from yourself. As soon as you feel that longing for your old life without self-love is rolling in (it’s easier - self-pity fills life with meaning and takes other problems into the background), drive it to hell, go shopping for yourself, your loved one, have a party with dancing and singing karaoke, throw out the trash from the house that reminds you of your past life, photos of your “ex” that are in no hurry to disappear from your memories.

Self-love starts with little things.

Not a soluble drink, but a fragrant liquid in a coffee cup, a bouquet of flowers on the table, a manicure done on time, a delicacy for dinner, awesome panties, bath oil, an aromatherapy lamp. The list could take a very long time, because if you think about it, our whole life consists of little things. Learn to enjoy banal conveniences and familiar things that you notice only when you are deprived of them. A warm bath, a kiss from a loved one, soft light from a floor lamp, interesting book and the warmth of a cat curled up on your lap - familiar and pleasant things. But haven't you stopped noticing them?

Self-love is inseparable from confidence.

No matter how much you tell yourself that you are the smartest, until there is confirmation of this (both material and moral) from your colleagues and boss, you will never be able to fully convince yourself. It's the same with beauty. You can repeat at least a thousand times that you are Elena the Beautiful, but until a man tells you these words, you yourself will never believe them. Self-confidence is self-realization. Nothing gives confidence like a successful career. The bitch always works. This is what distinguishes her from a housewife in a dirty robe. Work disciplines me, it doesn’t allow me to leave the house in the morning without makeup, unkempt hair and with peeling nails. Work gives you money that you can spend on yourself without feeling like you owe anything to anyone. Work gives you a chance to meet the right and interesting people, even your man (statistically, forty percent of married couples met at work, and how many met there but did not get married?). Therefore, always work, even when you feel sick and disgusted. The more time you spend at work, the less sad thoughts about your own uselessness will appear in your head. That’s how it’s structured - either you load it with real problems, or they arise out of nothing, through complex conclusions of idle brains.

The last rule of self-love is consistency. Men come and go, some you love, others you tolerate, but you always have you. Today, tomorrow or in a year, you must maintain the same tender and reverent attitude towards your person, even if the children have grown up, wrinkles have appeared on your face, and gray hair has appeared in your stripes. Don’t calm down because you are loved or you have become someone’s wife. Household chores have nothing to do with your love. Don’t torment yourself with worries, they spoil your mood and complexion. An Eastern proverb helps me a lot in this regard: “There is no point in worrying about what happened yesterday, because it has already happened, and also about what will happen tomorrow, because it may not happen. And what is today turns into yesterday so quickly that only a fool worries about it.” Maybe I twisted the words a little, but the meaning is clear: you shouldn’t worry about expecting troubles and people’s actions. After all, mental discomfort is most often associated not with the fact that a person did something bad, but with the fact that he did something, but not in the way we imagined and planned. Is it worth bothering yourself, your beloved, with such trifles? The world is not perfect and does not strive for perfection like a bitch. Isn't it better to treat yourself to another nice little thing, do something for the soul, because if you think only about what is necessary and useful, then you don’t want to live. As a child, I heard the following phrase in the company of adults: “I have loved myself for a long time, everyone else... is also good people.” Isn't that a motto for a bitch?

The bitch is the nightmare of all men and the standard of many women. But is it true that bitches have an easy life? How to test yourself for bitchiness?

Portrait of a bitch

Who is this bitch? What are its distinctive features, views on the world and habits?

Appearance. The bitch loves herself and is used to grooming her appearance in every possible way. It is difficult to catch her unkempt or unkempt. She willingly spends money (her own and others) on her own transformation: clothes, salon treatments, etc. She always looks a little arrogant, but that's part of her charm. A cold, piercing gaze, compressed lips... A man will need a lot of courage to meet such a Snow Queen.

Behavior. He behaves with great dignity and a considerable amount of sarcasm. As a rule, a bitch has a sense of humor and a razor-sharp tongue. She is cynical, realistic and skeptical of everything. Prefers not to trust people. She is more cunning than smart, and masterfully manipulates those around her. Hates criticism. Every careless word addressed to her can lead to a brilliant session of “verbal flogging”, after which her victim risks acquiring many new complexes.

Goals. They can be very different, but a bitch always clearly knows what she wants and achieves it by any means available. As a rule, a bitch, despite external self-confidence and self-sufficiency, strives to assert herself again and again. Often at the expense of other people.

Men. Not every man can get along with a bitch. As a rule, young men of two categories are drawn to such girls. Firstly, henpecked people who agree to a passive role in relationships. They are in such shock that such a gorgeous woman has paid attention to them that they are ready to endure all her barbs directed at them.

Strong-willed and strong-willed men who want to have a “worthy rival” in a relationship can also fall for such women. It’s interesting for them to play the game “The Taming of the Shrew.”

One of the most remarkable qualities of any bitch is the ability to take care of herself. She loves herself so much that she will never let herself be offended and will always create the most comfortable conditions for herself. Another advantage of a bitch: lack of guilt. She never scolds herself or punishes herself for “mistakes and shortcomings.” The bitch never considers herself guilty and never makes excuses for anything (And if she makes excuses, then most likely it’s just part of her big game).

Bitchiness test

If you want to find out how bitchy you are, take our test. Answer as honestly as possible.

1. You came to a party in a luxurious dress and suddenly you see a girl in exactly the same outfit. Your actions:

A) I’ll be upset, of course. But what can you do? I'll try to hang out away from my double.

B) I will find a way to transform my dress, for example, using a scarf or accessories. And if there is no such opportunity, I will laugh it off, shine with my wit, and still be able to outshine both that girl and everyone else.

C) “Accidentally” I’ll spill red wine on her dress – and the problem is solved.

2. Your MCH is going to a party with friends. It's not calling you. What will you do?

A) I will sit at home and worry about the topic: what did I do wrong, why does he not want to spend time with me, etc.

B) I’ll take advantage of the free evening to have a super bachelorette party. Or I’ll just treat myself to a beauty salon/massage/fitness training.

C) I’ll go to the club and find a guy to replace him. And let my MCH know that a woman like me cannot be ignored for a second.

3. Your boss at work reprimanded you. Your reaction:

A) I will scold myself for making a mistake.

B) I will turn the situation in my favor in any way. I’ll show off my talent, exceed the quota, or stand out in some other way so that the boss will be afraid of losing such a valuable personnel.

B) I’ll start a scandal. Or I will shift the blame to others. Or I'll just quit. They will regret it.

4. You caught your husband being unfaithful. Your actions:

A) Life is over! I'll go hang myself. But first, I’ll still try to beg him so that he doesn’t leave me.

B) Great! This is a reason for me to think about what is wrong in our relationship and what I can change. I will analyze my mistakes and my life will become even better, no matter with or without him.

C) What luck! Now I have him on the hook and I can blackmail him with this betrayal until the end of his days. What should I start with? Maybe from a diamond ring?

5. The motto closest to you is:

A) You can’t escape fate.

B) Everything that is done is all for the better.

C) I am the puppeteer, and everyone else is just my puppets.

Let's sum it up

Now count which answers you have more.

If answers A predominate, it means you clearly lack bitchiness. You're too used to being a passive victim. But this role will not help you change your life and achieve what you want. Try to manage your life yourself! Imagine yourself as a director in your own theater. And you will see that you are no longer just a helpless sliver on the waves of fate.

If you have more answers B, That means you're the perfect bitch. Combining ingenuity and psychological flexibility, you easily move through life, masterfully achieving everything you need. Continue to carefully balance on this edge, and you will achieve everything. The main thing is to be ready to laugh not only at others, but also at yourself. Then your bitchiness won't push people away. Well, or at least not all of them.

And finally, if you have a lot of answers B, It means your bitchiness has long ago gotten out of control. You have locked yourself into the image of a “cool lady”. But if earlier this image helped you stand up for yourself, now it rather limits your capabilities.

Try to think more flexibly and be a little more cunning. Then your business will go much more successfully. Remember, life will be the way you want it to be. But you shouldn’t break through the walls with your forehead. By acting ahead, you are only wasting precious energy. Take up positive psychology and you will see that there are much simpler and more enjoyable ways to make your wishes come true.