How to forget betrayal. What to do if your friends betray you, how to cope with the pain of resentment? When a traitor is his own husband

I want to die. I have no one left in this life. The most dear people betrayed me. Mom, brother, friends and loved one. They laughed cruelly at me. For 1 year I was subjected to strong emotional pressure. I can not accept and survive that they mocked me. Everyone will be better if I die.
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Julia, age: 25 / 18.07.2011

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Good afternoon, Julia!
Once upon a time I did not communicate with my brother and mother for a whole year (!) Just because they betrayed me. And their "betrayal" was that at one of the moments in my life, when I needed it ( pure water selfishness) they did not give up all their affairs and did not come to me to feel sorry for me and cry with me during the same time. Now, remembering that period, I am ashamed in front of them. You don't say anything about this betrayal, what kind is it, what was it, how they mocked you? Maybe you, like me once, greatly exaggerate? Maybe they were protecting you for some reason during all this time, which you did not want to listen to? I had to act behind your back.
And you always have time to die. This is the simplest. "Have the courage to live!" Peace to your home!

Anastasia, age: 07/18/2011

Julia, hello. In no case should you reason like that. If people close to you laughed at you and mocked for a long time, then God is their judge. You don't need to waste your life and joke with it because of this. Life then you are no one will not return. And you will also meet a person who will not even think about laughing or betraying you. And you will find friends who will become not only loyal friends for you, but also closer than your relatives, who, as far as I understand, have dealt with You are cruel. Be stronger than the current circumstances, mom, brother, loved one, friends who were not friends. Let go of your past. Do not stir up what you cannot fix and change. Move, if possible, from your relatives, since they have done so with you. And start a new life from scratch. I wish you with all my heart patience, wisdom, courage! And I hope and believe that changes for the better will take place in your life.

Aigulya, age: 34 / 07/18/2011

Nobody gets better. If you, in spite of everyone, achieve something in life yourself, and it has just begun with you, it will be more worthy and much fairer in relation to yourself in these circumstances.

ju, age: 26 / 18.07.2011

Sorry, but you did not describe the situation very specifically and it is very difficult to assess it from the outside. I am not saying, but I assume that you have a very depressed state, which is aggravated by the fact that you do not fully understand it. Perhaps, after spending some time on a detailed analysis of the situation, you will decide not to leave this mortal world without you.
If interested, then the fundamental points for analysis:
1) What exactly happened?
2) What did I do to make this happen?
3) What kind of reaction and action did I expect from loved ones?
4) How can you explain that loved ones did not do what I expected?
5) Is there a fundamental possibility that my expectations were overestimated?
By answering these questions, you may come to the conclusion that you have overly dramatized the situation. And this is not a dead end - oddly enough, but showing, perhaps, not a healthy sense of humor, you will conclude that not all is over.
In any case, you are an adult and are obliged to make decisions concerning your life on your own. Just before passing the Rubicon, you need to re-evaluate it again. To which I urge you.

Bullet trap, age: 35 / 07/18/2011

Good day, Julia!
Do not despair! Many will feel bad if you die. Take a closer look around - there are people who need your help. Who are happy that you are. Take the animal from the shelter. You will share the longing with him. You will put care in him, he will need you.
Life was given to you. Why do you want to finish it just to get revenge on someone? It is illogical!
Get a hold of yourself! You still have your whole life ahead of you!

she, age: 20 / 18.07.2011

Dear Julia,
What exactly happened? What made everyone laugh at you? Perhaps you will introduce us a little bit and we will try to help you?
Waiting for an answer

Katyolina, age: 23/07/2011

Good day. Julia, what happened during the year that everyone betrayed them, and even laughed at the same time? Julia, you are an adult, you can control your own destiny. You can get away from such a situation, but not leave the way you chose, but simply leave them. The world is not without good people. Difficult for those who are afraid to live and work, who have health problems. But oddly enough, such people show miracles of tolerance, perseverance and lust for life. And they overcome everything. Julia, think, there is always a way out of a difficult situation. God bless you!

ol, age: 48 / 07/18/2011

Dear Julia, hello. What is this betrayal? You just didn’t write much, if possible, write on this page in more detail, please. Well, if you start from what you have said ... You see, the closer people are to us, the more subjective we are to them, we treat their words and actions, much is not perceived objectively. I'm not saying that, let's say, there was no betrayal, because I don't know what exactly happened. I want to tell you, Julia, and I say that you must live and drive bad thoughts away from yourself. All people experience both betrayal and emotional pressure, but they live. The bad deeds of some in relation to others are, believe me, a trifle, and life is not worth it. How many times I was morally pushed (and relatives, including), so much so that I thought - I will not rise. Yes, I thought so for about three minutes. Because I knew that I had to rise, I had to live and cherish myself, cherish my soul. And you, Julia, cherish your life and your soul, love yourself in spite of the offenders. Forgive them. I got the impression that they did not know what they were doing. Therefore, be above this situation, forgive them. This, of course, is not easy right away - to forgive, but if you work on yourself, your inner world, set priorities, the accents you need, and maybe even some noble goal - harmony will come in your life.
God bless you.

Nelly, age: 07/18/2011

Honey, I can only advise you one thing - forgive them! Yes, they hurt you, it may be very difficult to forgive them. Depends on what they did, how it was expressed. Even if things are too hard - just forgive them from the bottom of your heart and you will feel better. You will free yourself from the pain, it will slowly begin to fade along with forgiveness. God taught to forgive. When you forgive another person, you open up your path for yourself, freeing yourself from bad emotions. And the fact that no one is left is just your fears! Take a look around how many wonderful people are around you. Fall in love with people and miracles begin to happen - you will not be alone.
I wish you happiness, and most importantly - love!

Katerina, age: 21 / 19.07.2011

Julia! If there is no one left, then you need to find those who really need you! in spite of everyone who betrayed you, be happy! you are not alone

Polina, age: 15/19/2011

Hi. Many thanks to everyone who left feedback. I appreciate any your help. Now I will try to briefly describe the situation. I am a professional dancer. A guy (Max) met me in class. Every day he was waiting for me at the entrance to say hello. Shake my hand and hug. He made friends with my brother, mom and friends. Gradually it came to the point that he began to pay me much more attention than others. He did not leave me a single step. He took care, protected and worried when I performed. Brought my mother to my house. so that she could get to know me. Brother became his best friend and I tried to find out what was going on. To which they answered me: “Don't you notice that he likes you?” Friends, mother, brother and colleagues kept repeating this. And I began to believe it and take a closer look at Max. When I realized that I love, I told him about it. Max replied that he didn’t want to meet with anyone yet. That now his goal is to get more higher education and find a high-paying job. Since now he is interrupted from bread to water. And indeed he went to study abroad. And I was left alone with a broken heart and soul.
Please do not judge me harshly. Maybe I do not understand everything very correctly and react too sharply. But for me love is the most sacred thing on this earth. And the most dear people for me laughed at my feeling. Now I feel a little better. And all thanks I realized that life is one and it shouldn't be scattered like that. A year later, Max returns from abroad. I don’t want to see him and think about moving to another city.
I will try to forget everything that happened, but I will remember this lesson for the rest of my life, and I will never trust people again.
Thanks to this site and to you. If not for your help, I could have done something stupid. Now it's even scary to think about it. THANK!

Julia, age: 25/19/2011

That's right, Julia, that you decided to move to another city. A change of scenery will help you to understand yourself, in the current situation. Live separately from your family, from your boyfriend. And there you will see how you will act further in life. And about trust in people, then try, especially with strangers, to stay at arm's length. But you don't need to think about people too badly. In life there are good, adequate, decent people. They really, maybe, less than evil people, but they are. And good luck in your new city and in your new life!

Aigulya, age: 34 / 07.19.2011

Hi Julia. You see how, it turns out, everything is simple. And I was sitting over your first letter and thought: "Lord, what have they done there !?" And mom and brother, it turns out, just love you very much and wish you a good guy. And Max is really good, serious. True, maybe too serious :), but it's still better. No guy, if he is not serious about a girl, will voluntarily get to know her mother and brother, and even more so, take his mother to get acquainted. And he acted like a real man, and it is not surprising that you fell in love with him - these guys now "do not roll on the road." And the fact that he decided not to meet before leaving - speaks of his decency and seriousness.
Julia, you have a wonderful mom and brother, they love you very much, they only wish well. It's fine!
I'm glad, but everyone is glad that everything has returned to normal.
God bless you.

Julia, I missed the point about another city. You don't have to move somewhere. Think: what will you do in a strange city alone? How will you be there? Moreover, there is no one to run from, everything is already normal!
And you can change the situation for a while, and not by such cardinal methods. For example, you can relax in nature (not alone). One day in nature replaces two weeks' vacation / rest.
God save you.

Nelly, age: 07/19/2011

Yes, it is not necessary to travel to another city, but why not! Why not try, if there is such an opportunity, to show your abilities in another city! Of course, you can relax in the countryside. Rest. And you really are not so dramatic as We initially thought. Yes, I agree with that. But starting a new life in a new city is also an option. And your family actually treat you well, but you will understand this if you start living separately from them. At least some- I don’t say move completely, but for a month or two, at least depending on the circumstances. Julia, here you were given a lot of good advice. Now you have to decide for yourself: what is best for you. In general, good luck with anyway!

Aigulya, age: 34 / 20.07.2011

Thank you Nelly and Aigulya. You are right, maybe my problem is not so big as it seems to me. But I cannot get rid of this resentment. Although I try. I’ll think about the move. I really want to start from scratch. And no longer see these people. Thank you very much for your advice. I can't even express in words how grateful I am to you.

Julia, age: 25 / 20.07.2011

Julia, thank you for your thanks. Aigulya, I think, if I read it, is also glad. The main thing is that everyone here is happy to help, because everyone at a certain moment in life also needed such human help. And what about resentment ... Never mind, this is how our psyche is tripled - something was impressed next to a negative emotion ... and we continue to perceive people that way. This psyche is an interesting thing :)
You are great for understanding the advice. And it's great that they had a beneficial effect on you. It's good. So everything will be fine.
God bless you.

Nelly, age: 07/29/2011

Yes, I am also very happy to read that I somehow helped you, Julia. Regardless of whether you move to another city or not, first of all you should at least try to forgive your household members. Frankly speaking, I have too. there were a lot of grievances towards my household. But I began to live separately from them (albeit in the same city). I objectively figured out my problem. Well, then I found the strength to forgive these accumulated grievances. It was very difficult. I suddenly felt, that grievances eat me up from the inside. I realized that if I want to be happier, I need to let go of my past. And surprisingly, my household also began to realize something in their lives. And I felt a little easier. No matter how commonplace, but time heals. God help you!

Yes, Nellie, I am sincerely glad that I helped Julia. Julia, now you will have a new life. I am sure of this. And insults must be forgiven. I know this from myself. It will become easier for you later. But for now, live separately, if now You find it difficult to communicate with your family. You can rent an apartment or go somewhere to rest. And then everything will slowly start to improve in your life. Perhaps, and I hope so, you will find the strength to forgive past grievances. Do not dwell only on them. Good luck and patience!

Aigulya, age: 34 / 07.21.2011

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Get rid of fear and anxiety

Overcoming fears through social positivity

Fear, anxiety increase in a person if he generally feels wrong, bad, unpromising. If he unconsciously expects that he can be judged, caught on wrong, on failure. And our psyche is so arranged that it is not afraid of any accusation, but only of the one for which, as it seems to it, there are grounds. If a professor of mathematics is asked: "Did you teach the multiplication table at all?", He will smile and say: "You know, I must have been ill in that quarter." If you say this to a poor student, he will go red spots.

The betrayal of a loved one is that unexpected blow of fate that you never expect.

When the one whose heart was beating with yours in unison betrays, when it is hard to sigh from pain, thoughts obsessively do not allow you to fall asleep, pain haunts. She cannot be cured with pills, she will return tomorrow and in a month. And throughout your life, even if the cheater has long been forgiven by you, a thread of memories will drag on. How to survive the betrayal of a loved one, how to start enjoying life at least after a while? Betrayal is a collapse of trust, hopes and feelings. It seems that it is impossible to build a strong relationship again if your soul was trampled by a once close and native person... How to start simply living without tormenting yourself with the search for an answer to the question: "Why, why have I been betrayed?"

Why do people betray

Don't start making excuses. Even if during repentance you hear accusations from the wrong person, do not dare to agree with them. Yes, you could be wrong in something, you could even act wrong in relation to this person. But do not believe that the betrayal was a necessary measure. There is always a choice, so your close person could have acted differently, without betraying: talk to you, offer to take a break in the relationship, save face in front of you. Whether to forgive betrayal is, of course, your decision. But can you trust this person?

You are unlikely to find a reason for treason. Why did the beloved betray (deceived, did not put his shoulder, chickened out)? Because it was in his interests at some point. Because he least of all thought about you during the betrayal. Own "I" overpowered human values. And even if he had his own reasons, understandable only to him, are these reasons to justify him? Therefore, do not believe when many guilty persons are found during the showdown. First of all, the one who committed this act in relation to you is to blame. Think carefully before forgiving betrayal.

Should we forgive betrayal?

Should we forgive betrayal? Certainly. But only for himself, not for the sake of the betrayer. Daily thoughts of how to survive the betrayal of a loved one will keep you from moving forward. They will begin to poison life, will not allow the creation of new relationships in which there will be no place for deception. When you were exchanged for someone else, when you were given a backhand blow - how to forgive betrayal? Forgive in order to live and enjoy every day?

If the person who betrayed you has a conscience, it will punish him. Will punish more severe than your words, tears. Only conscience is capable of plunging a person into repentance; it is impossible to hide from it, to leave. Surviving a person's betrayal is not easy, but it is possible if you do some work on yourself. And let the bonus of the trauma suffered will be the opportunity to meet new people, events, feelings on the way. Life has never stopped because of betrayal. Don't stop yours yourself.

No matter how hard it is, you will have to get used to the thought of betrayal. Understand that the person who hurt you is an ordinary weak person. And certain needs intervened in his life, for the sake of which he did so meanly to you. See the benefits: in the future, you will become stronger. Yes, more distrustful, tougher, more closed, but stronger.

If you are looking for how to survive the betrayal of a loved one, the advice of a psychologist will help you. So, start working on yourself today, now.

1. Unleash your tears - do not pretend that nothing has happened.

You will deceive others, but not your heart. Allow yourself to cry out all the tears, release all the negativity so that the spring in your chest finally opens up. Remain weak.

2. Alcohol is not your friend.

Not a single problem has yet been solved with alcohol. In addition, overdoing it, you can make a mistake (start calling the traitor, sort out the relationship with his new passion, if treason has occurred). In the morning, in addition to mental pain, "miraculous" consequences of drinking alcoholic beverages will stick to you.

3. Get out of sight of things that remind you of your tormentor.

Surviving a person's betrayal is unlikely to help his many things and photos decorating the apartment. Often, girls cry over everything related to their ex: his toothbrush, the kettle in which you heated the water together, the sand “on which he walked”. Do not bring the situation to the point of absurdity: get rid of everything that disturbs your thoughts, and do not give hidden meanings to everyday things.

4. Find something to do.

Surrender to the work process, show your professional skills. Sign up for a yoga course. Plan your day with a minimum of free time. Ideally, if you choose an occupation in which you have zero experience: complete immersion in the basics of a new occupation can captivate your thoughts, leaving no moment for suffering. If they approach, go outside and look for something to do with yourself. Go for a walk in the park. This will help you deal with betrayal better than reclusiveness.

5. Change something in your appearance.

Get a new haircut, buy a bright dress, make a difference in your life. Become more attractive, because you have a new life ahead! Have you heard about the benefits of shopping? Updating your wardrobe on a psychological level improves your mood. Has your ex-partner never liked redheads? Now nothing stops you from such a change of image.

6. Do not drive away new acquaintances from yourself and remember old friends.

Alone, you are unlikely to stop tormenting yourself with thoughts of how to survive the betrayal of a loved one. On the contrary, a lump that you roll in your head will only aggravate the situation. At first, let you laugh with strength, half-heartedly listen to the stories of your comrades. Everything will change over time. Do not doubt.

7. Help someone who needs you.

Who! You choose - homeless animals (you can buy a stick of cheap sausage to feed the cat near the entrance). Find out what things and toys the orphanage needs. Maybe some of the relatives will need help. You will do a good deed, your soul will become light, and difficult thoughts will recede for a while.

How to survive the betrayal of a loved one? Yes, the advice of a psychologist can help, but the main task still lies with you - stop tormenting yourself. Stop thinking about what happened. It is difficult to survive, but possible. Trust that there is a happy life ahead of you. Not all people are prone to betrayal, so do not seek to see the world through a black veil. A failed experience is also an experience.

There are more than 7 billion people on earth, remember how hard it was for you to experience your first unhappy love (did you have an unhappy love at school?) Or parting with a person “you couldn't find better”. It is important for you to realize that your suffering is in your head, and if you decide to get rid of it, then you will succeed.

Often, happy couples break up due to infidelity on the part of one of the partners. Betrayal hurts especially strongly women - the weak, tender sex. In such cases, there are recommendations from psychologists on how to survive the betrayal of a loved one.

Analyze the situation. The first thing to do is to realize the fact of betrayal and explain to yourself its reasons. Perhaps in this situation your fault prevails, you yourself have long ceased to love your partner and were with him only because of affection, he saw no obstacles to betrayal. Or your partner is solely to blame, in which case it is good that now you do not need to have anything to do with him. Whatever you decide for yourself, analyzing the problem is the first step towards solving it.
Unleash your emotions. It is categorically contraindicated to accumulate any negative in yourself. This can lead to both psychological and physical trauma, because stress has a serious impact on human health. The best solution would be to throw out the accumulated emotions: cry, shout, break and destroy - if necessary. By getting rid of negative emotions, you make room for new, positive ones.

Important! Give yourself time. You don't have to try to "suffer" faster than you really need to. If you decide that enough tears have already been shed, but in reality this is not so, then, having included the “iron lady” in yourself, sooner or later the emotions buried inside will still come out, but with greater force. Remember golden Rule: time cures.

Go on with your normal life. The betrayal of a loved one is really painful, but it is just a test that must be overcome. In addition to personal life, there are friends, family, work, hobbies. People never fail on all fronts at the same time. If you continue to live your usual life further, then it will be possible to step over and cope with the test soon.
Go in search of new experiences. It is necessary to give yourself time to worry. But this process should not be delayed. To cope with the pain of betrayal, you need to get a charge of new impressions. Go on a trip around the world, jump with a parachute, attend a premiere at the theater, sign up for a photography club - whatever. Do what you like more often, more. This will give you an emotional recharge.
Take care of yourself. Cheating on a loved one, of course, hits self-esteem and pride. The woman begins to think that something is wrong with her, otherwise for some reason the man found her a replacement. AND the main task in this case - to like yourself again. Change your hairstyle, go to the beautician, go shopping. Take care of yourself both externally and internally. Start learning Spanish, if you have been wanting for a long time, sign up for acting classes. From increased attention to yourself, it will definitely not get worse.
Communicate. Having experienced the pain of betrayal, a woman can hardly maintain faith in sincere love and loyalty. Close people can help here. If they show their love, care and understanding towards you, you will not feel loneliness so acutely, and it will be easier to survive the betrayal by sharing the pain of resentment with loved ones. So do not withdraw into yourself, make contact, communicate and come back to normal.
Forgive the betrayal. Hating and cursing is always easier than letting go of the situation and forgiving the offender. But in order to cope with the pain of betrayal, it is necessary. The negative accumulated inside a person pulls him down. And we want to recover and only go forward, right? The feeling of hatred is just a waste of your own energy. But what will really impress the traitor is your indifference. Forgive the one who betrayed you and free your heart for a new feeling.
Forget the cheater and get rid of everything that reminds of him. Does the necklace given by your ex-lover make your outfit more elegant? Does the bag match your shoes perfectly? Forget it! Collect all the things that remind you of the traitor in one box and away from your home. If you don't want to throw it away, give it to those who need it. But don’t let these things be your eyes. If you want to cope with the pain of betrayal, then you need to stop reminding yourself of it. Your thoughts in this case are your enemy.
Use only positive attitudes. Thoughts are material. If you tell yourself that you are "abandoned, betrayed, unhappy", then in fact you will feel that way. Use the correct attitudes. Believe that you can easily cope with the situation, that you have a great future ahead of you and a loving man next to you. What you believe will eventually become true. So believe in the good.
Talk to a specialist. If you cannot cope with the betrayal of a loved one on your own, consult a psychologist. There is no shame in this. A professional knows how to work with emotionally unstable people, and will give constructive advice, assessing the situation from the outside. The main thing is to be honest. Remember, your story will not go beyond the psychologist's office.

However, not all women find the strength to choose the right path and cope with the betrayal of a loved one. Many, unfortunately, succumb to their weakness.

The most common mistakes in women's behavior after infidelity

They plunge themselves into a negative state even more. Suffering from betrayal, women want to suffer even more. They lock themselves in their room, take sick leave at work, play sad songs in their headphones, and there is always a channel on TV with some melodrama. Stop! If you want to live happily, you need to surround yourself with happiness. As we see the world, so it will become. Comedies should always be shown on TV, let funny pop music play with headphones, and every weekend free from work, let guests have fun at home.
They spoil life by making mistakes. Not finding the strength to cope with the pain, women rush to all the hard: go into a binge or go to bed with the first person they meet. Not only does this not work, but it often introduces new problems. No alcohol, cigarettes, especially drugs, and no casual relationships! Alcohol will relieve stress only for a while, but in a state of intoxication, unforeseen situations can happen to you. Cigarettes, and even more so drugs, are addiction. Casual connections can lead to anything: a damaged reputation, a sexually transmitted disease, a feeling of being used - the list is long. Control yourself and do not fall on your face in the dirt. Whatever happens, you must remain a real woman with a capital letter.
Get bitchy. Deceived women often lose faith in all the good things in the world and ... become bitches. They wiped their feet on them, now they are wiping their feet on others. However, this behavior is fundamentally wrong and will in no way help to cope with the pain of betrayal. No one around is to blame for the fact that the person you chose turned out to be a scoundrel. Better not to offend others, but rather help them. When people do good to others, they themselves feel better.
Stop believing in love. If one betrayed, then everyone betrays - this is how women who have been betrayed often think. However, this judgment is incorrect. Don't you know faithful men? If on your life path only traitors have met, perhaps there is something wrong with you. In any case, don't generalize. There is good in the world, but only those who really want to see it see it.

The most important thing to remember is that everything in life happens for the best. If a person has betrayed and left, then this is not your person, and you will still meet your happiness, just before the time has come. It is important to find a way out of any situation and gain experience. Then further life will only be brighter and better.

Do you believe in history?

True 1 Not true 0

2018-07-24T16: 12: 42 + 00: 00

But you know, this often happens. Given that at this age, more often than not, a man leaves a woman, rather than vice versa. They go to the young. A lot of examples, one of them: the 54-year-old owner of the company where my sister works, leaves his wife alone !!! The children grew up, flew away from the nest. His wife is a wonderful woman, kind, well-groomed, always friendly, and sincere. The figurine is no longer chiseled, well, excuse me, not 20 years old, but it tries to keep its shape, and is dressed tastefully. And her husband, goes to a stuffed animal with puffy lips and tits, plaster on his face ... you can scrape off with a spatula. Young .... What attracts them? Beautiful bodies, youth, passion? But when he met his wife, 30 years ago, she had both breasts and eyes and legs - mmmm. And then a cellulite appeared, and a tummy with scars and stretch marks and boobs - the spaniel's ears suddenly became, tk. gave birth to three and fattened each for 2 years. Each has its own physiology, but this is often the case. And what about it, now, how to throw away the spent material? Unfortunately, so many do. And very suddenly, and it really is like a knife in the heart. But! But. But hopefully for the best. And to those with whom this happened, I just want to wish "an instant click to a change in the perception of their inner world," so that that part of life - "loneliness" turns into freedom of thought and action. In freedom, in a word. It's shorter to break away ...

2018-07-24T15: 03: 41 + 00: 00

If a person has betrayed and left, then this is not your person, and you will still meet your happiness, just before the time has come. Yeah. And when did people extend for 20-30 years? What time?

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How to survive betrayal? This event scares almost everyone in a relationship, be it loving or even close friends. Fear is born of the need for personal identification, experience of one's personality as part of a larger, correlating with it. A common identification is "I am a member of the family union." This is the existence of a certain "we". If it suddenly turns out that the partner at the same time belongs to another - this fact is perceived as a betrayal, an event when, without the knowledge of the other side, changed my social. Perceiving yourself as a part of a whole, a group, even of two, is an important need. Therefore, it is clear why the blow of betrayal is so painful. When a partner has another “we” on the side, I, without consent, become part of the union of three.

What can help you survive your husband's betrayal? Feel the value of your own life, which you have only one, it is not worth spending on experiences and negativity. In doing so, sort out the mistakes of the past. Any problem in a relationship is created by partners together. Understand mistakes so you don't make them in your next relationship. Therefore, you need to have a position to betrayal that perceives it as an experience in your life.

How to survive a friend's betrayal

Betrayal inflicts great trauma on a person, since it is associated with treachery and undermined trust as a result. Often a woman's betrayal consists in the fact that a friend could not keep secret important information entrusted to her, perhaps even deliberately used it against you. Betrayal, according to many polls, is what most often people are not ready to accept in friends, because it destroys friendship itself.

If the relationship with the best friend has gone through events that can be called a betrayal, the woman often develops a feeling of hostility to the world, the inability to trust someone after this experience, especially women who are trying to establish close relationships. However, when a specific person betrayed you, this does not mean that there are only traitors around. At the same time, hostility to friendship is natural, you can understand it, accept it inside yourself as an emotional residue from what happened, which will surely pass if you psychologically work through this trauma.

How to survive the betrayal of friends? Try not to turn into an enemy within yourself, not to plan revenge without trying to prove something, to defeat or destroy, then forgetting and putting an end to the person. After all, such a strategy will not give anything to you or to your friend who betrayed you. You will not receive real consolation from revenge, and a traitor who has experienced revenge from you will only get embittered. You will only tighten the knot tighter.

Spiritual practices here teach not only not to return evil, but sometimes even do good to a traitor. After all, by doing so you will collect "burning coals" on his head - this is nothing but remorse. Only after experiencing them and succumbing to the awakened conscience, a person can draw conclusions. Why do you need it? Think about the fact that a friend, if she was really important person - was of value to you, you loved her. Revenge here will hurt you as well, even if superficially gives a sense of triumph from retribution. The challenge is to get through these emotions by drawing conclusions and, as opposed to being stuck in painful experiences.

The betrayed friend did it out of her weakness, perhaps from hidden feelings. And you, as a person who knows her well, can, with sufficient attention and patience, understand this. Realize what expectations you placed on your friend, why you brought this person closer to you, what good she gave you. Thank your ex-girlfriend inside yourself for all the good things that happened in the relationship, and let her go. Such a wise metaposition, taking into account the weaknesses of human nature and all circumstances, will allow you to easily pass the pain of betrayal and maintain the ability to future trusting relationships.

It is a difficult question whether you need to trust a betrayed friend in the future. Some women find the strength in themselves enough to figure it out, talk about what happened. A betrayer may even be forgiven if her act was somehow understood by the injured party. And if both women have realized the importance of relationships, they can even continue communication and friendship after going through this experience. The decision to continue communication here is only yours, depends on the circumstances of the incident, the scale of the betrayal, his internal motives, the presence of remorse and his sincerity. Here, every woman will be helped by her inner ability for and even premonitions - the famous female intuition.

Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"

In life, you always want to believe only in the best, that you are surrounded by good people whom you can trust as yourself. Unfortunately, we often have to endure mental blows, they are inflicted by close people, while they do not even know what harm they caused. The main thing at this stage of life is not to give up, not to withdraw into yourself, but to get rid of disappointment, pain, and other negative ones.

What do we have to do?

Betrayal is always longing, resentment and pain. No matter how strong a person may seem, it is very difficult for him to survive such an act, it immediately seems that a black streak has come without a bright horizon. It is at this point that you must not give up. Remember, there is only one life, you should not dwell on the problem, especially devoting it to the person who deceived you.

You can't think that this is all the finale, you have no reason to exist further. Here you just need to believe in yourself, overcome the pain. To achieve an amazing effect, you need to fight with yourself, make your subconscious mind believe in the best. Of course, this is difficult to do, but possible.

You do not need to blame yourself, look for flaws, since you will experience resentment, pain, and see how everything will work out. Do not under any circumstances make excuses for the traitor. Remember, if a person cheated once, he will repeat it again after a while. Why live with constant mistrust, resentment, suspicion? You don't need this burden.

Express your emotions

In any situation, you need to maintain your self-esteem - do not rush with your fists at the traitor, do not arrange, do not shout at the top of your voice in the middle of the street so that everyone can see your pain. Come home, throw out your emotions so no one can see. Here you can cry, and shout, and knock your hands on the wall.

Move away from the problem

If you decide to put a fat point in a relationship, you need to keep your distance. What does it mean? Destroy all correspondence, photographs, do not communicate with friends, relatives of the traitor. You need to start living completely with blank slate... Tell all those close to you not to remind you of the past. When walking, avoid places where you were once with the abuser.

Do not build illusions

It is necessary to really analyze the situation, and not come up with a scenario with a beautiful and happy ending. It is important to admit the truth, no matter how painful it may be.

Understand everything

Sometimes, to make things easier, you need to talk and find out everything. At the same time, you cannot cry, get upset, you must proudly, confidently hold on, not show your own. You should not continue the relationship on pity.

New life

Don't wait for the next Monday, month, start living right now. Set yourself a goal of happiness and well-being. Remember, the fate of each person depends on him, you can easily change it, influence the course of events.

Relationships after infidelity

Some married couples decide to move on after betrayal for the sake of their children. Is it important here to think before making such a decision? Will you be able to keep pain and resentment in yourself all your life? Why such sacrifices. Children are only an excuse, they never held anyone, much less strengthened the marriage. Sometimes it is easier for them to communicate separately with mom and dad than to live in constant scandals, conflicts and a tense atmosphere.

Many women make a huge mistake - they try to understand, justify, forgive their spouse. What is the result? He continues to deceive, betray, in addition, he ceases to respect his spouse. You need to be strong in order to be able to break once and for all that do not bring joy, but only tears and resentments. Believe me, it's easier to do this once than to suffer all your life.

In order not to annoy yourself, you need to heed the advice of experts.

Communication ... It is allowed to arrive alone for no more than two days. Then you need to completely get rid of emotions and live again. Communicate with your loved ones as much as possible. Have fun, have some shopping days. You should not have obsessive thoughts that spoil your life.
Assess the situation soberly ... You should not abuse alcohol - this is weakness, and you are a strong enough person who can overcome the pain and resentment himself. Even a small dose of alcohol will increase - painful memories will appear before your eyes. Alcohol always aggravates the situation, except for mental pain, physical pain occurs.
Improve yourself. It is recommended to sign up for a fitness room, dance, you can do beautiful hairstyle - dye your hair, completely change your style, update your wardrobe. Just try to buy bright, beautiful things that will cheer you up. You must do everything to please yourself first of all.
Smile at the mirror image. No need to cry in the mirror, smile, see how much more beautiful you have become.
Think less. Different thoughts interfere with thinking, prevent concentration, study normally, and work. Do not harass yourself! As soon as negative thoughts appear, immediately chase them away - think of something good.
Don't hold evil. Forgive the offender in your soul. Remember, you are above all anger, resentment, you should not think about revenge. Calmly release the traitor, let him leave your life. When you unconsciously let go of the person, it immediately becomes easier.
Eliminate the traitor from your life. After the insult, they made you an offer - to remain friends? Disagree! You should not face this person in the future, otherwise you will again be very worried.
Don't watch sad melodramas , give up depressive music. On the contrary, you should be filled with positive, fun. To understand that life is not over, you just moved on to another, mysterious stage.

So, betrayal is a strong blow that is difficult to survive, but possible. The key to remember is that you, too, deserve to be happy. Therefore, gather all your willpower, breathe in deeply and continue to live on. Sooner or later everything will work out, you just need to wait a little, endure. Every life situation teaches us something, we become wiser. Good luck!