How to respond to comments on Instagram. Negative to positive translation: how to respond to angry comments on social media? What to reply to a comment for what

How do I respond to negative comments? Journalists of Biznes.Ru found out what negative comments there are, whether they can be translated into positive ones and asked questions to experts from the PR industry. Details in the article

At the same time, no one is safe from dissatisfied buyers. If you are a grocery dealer, consumers can post photos of spoiled food, as in the case of with yogurt from "Pyaterochka"... If you own a clothing store, users might not like the style of your skirts, print on t-shirts , picture of socks or how in history with Familia, cameras in the store.

The retailer, in the latter case, simply closed comments for social media users. But can this be called a way out of the situation? Journalists of Biznes.Ru found out what negative comments there are, whether they can be translated into positive ones and asked questions to experts from the PR industry.

How do I respond to negative comments?

1. Negative justified

This commentary is notable for its large volume and constructive criticism. A client came to you on the social network who was not satisfied with something. Now he is very, very unhappy. Can get rid of emotions, but always describes the problem.

How to translate into positive?

Sorry. Admit mistakes. Thank you for your feedback. Offer a way out of the situation. Yes, you are people who can be wrong too. But we are ready to improve, because you value your beloved clients.

“I ordered a bag in your store, the courier brought it, took the money, but refused to unpack it, turned around and left. Opening the package, I saw that there were creases on the skin of the bag, it was impossible to wear it! Your service is terrible! And your courier is hamlo! "

Possible answer:

"Good day! It is unpleasant to hear negative reviews, but feedback helps to fix the service. Thanks for writing to us. The courier misbehaved and will be interviewed. I offer you this option - a free exchange of a bag for a new one. Suits you? Write me please".

Note
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2. Emotional negative

This review is simply saturated with negative emotions. A person writes such a comment to vent their anger.

We seek positive.

Show empathy. Tell us what you are doing to remedy the situation. Ask to describe the story in detail, that is, translate the emotion into a constructive one. Further, the scheme No. 1 is simply worked out.

“Awful store. Where did you find such disgusting sellers - they didn’t let me try on the dress and got nasty. I will never come to you again. "

Possible answer:

"Hello! I sincerely regret this situation. We monitor the level of service and will definitely figure it out. Write me the details in a personal message so that we can correct the situation and punish those responsible. I hope that history will not repeat itself in the future, and you will remain our client. "

3. A wave of negative comments

Such commentators, who come to your community for self-expression from another resource, are distinguished by their desire to scandalize. Sometimes these are people sent by competitors. Usually their comments do not contain information about a visit to the store, they are outraged by some abstract thing.

An example of messages of this kind:

"There is one poison on the shelves", "The boorish sellers", "Disgusting service".

It is imperative to reply to such comments. Ask for a detailed description of the situation that upset them. Promise to figure it out. Probably no next comment will follow.

4. Trolls

They are distinguished by their desire to engage the community administrator in meaningless dialogue. For example, a guest who comes in suddenly starts discussing politics. Or argue about the quality of an abstract product.

For example, when the troll writes: "How much can you buy this Chinese junk", he wants to draw you into a conversation about the quality of your product.

Action options. Previously, PR people advised deleting such comments and blocking the user. But now the trolls have become more experienced, they come again from another account with a claim to delete the comment, trying to drag them into a new scandal. Therefore, it is advisable that you have another account from a user who can answer the troll with some kind of joke and phrase that the comment is similar to trolling.

This will make it clear to other users of your community on the social network that this troll should not be fed.

Expert tips for dealing with social media negativity

Expert tip: why you can't close comments, as Familia did in response to the wave of negativity

Daria Zhgenti, PR-company NAME (Rostov-on-Don), CEO:

One of the main tasks of a brand's presence on the social network is to receive feedback, direct communication with the client. A large company that promotes itself on social networks and works with a mass audience usually hires a large smm agency as well. It processes the requests of all clients on-line.

Closing comments means hiding from the audience, admitting defeat. It is important to understand the specifics of the channel. In this particular case, it is necessary to attract more specialists and process all comments. Since removing the negative and closing comments in a critical situation means losing trust and your audience.

I personally know serious people who communicate not only on the Internet, but also meet with negative people. Clarify the problems and motives for subversion. And moreover, in the future they also help people who previously actually poured dirt on them in in social networks... Of course, here we are not talking about the mass segment, where tens of thousands of people. However, the only way is to engage in dialogue.

Based on experience, I will tell you, my dear reader, that not everyone knows that you can write comments on Insta and respond to them. Here's an example:

About a week ago we were sitting with another bar, talking about everything. And as usual, there is a ridiculous pause in the conversation, when you can check notifications on social networks, flip through the feed in search of something interesting. My friend was flipping through the "black list" page, as I understand it, this is the page where establishments and companies that did not suit their customers are thrown into. The one with the huge balloons pokes his phone at me and says that he could find this place on this list. Nasty things were said there, and as a frequenter of these places, I know that this is all not true or an isolated incident. Well, I said that he would write that everything is fine here and, perhaps, there was an accident, it is not worth judging so categorically because of one time. And he, with even more surprised eyes, asks: "and then what, can I write a comment ?!" I thought maybe he was joking, but it turned out not. The man did not know that it was possible to write commas on Insta. I thought that they were just scrolling through the feed, and likes serve as feedback. A funny incident in 2d18.

So, this article is for such people.

How do I reply to a comment?

When you see a post that somehow shocked you or aroused interest, you involuntarily want to express your point of view. And the user's point of view can be different, starting from @ # $! to a constructive proposal. You can express your thoughts on this in the comments. Each post has a cloud icon. By clicking on it, you can see the comments of other people and leave your own.

For users personal computers the rules are the same. But to leave your comment on Instagram, you do not need to click on the "cloud", a line appears under each post, which is called: "add a comment", by clicking there, you can start typing. Thus, it is a little more convenient to write commas from a computer than through a smartphone.

To reply to the person who contacted you, you do not need to post a link to his Instagram account, just click on the comment, then click on the “reply” button and write the text.

But keep in mind that on social networks you need to be polite and show your good manners, you can put emoticons to show that you are in a peaceful mood. Even if an unflattering review is written under the photo, try to smooth out the corners, because everyone has different requirements for the photo. A polite and gracious exchange of words will only relax the atmosphere.

How do I respond to a comment from a specific person?

In addition to the fact that you can leave your opinion under the post, you can write in the comments to a specific person. What for? Perhaps he does not support your views or, on the contrary, is on the same wavelength with you.

Find the line “see all comments” under the post. The entire list of comments will open in front of you: scroll through, read and choose who to respond to.

Users who log in from personal computers, alas, are deprived of the opportunity to exchange comments with other people under the post. But there is a way out. If you want to contact someone, enter "@ his nickname", no spaces. And write the text. The notification that he was marked in the comments will come to him directly to his phone.

How do I reply to comments to multiple people at once?

For example, there are times when you want to reply in a comment to several people at once. Writing the same thing to each user is not a royal affair, and they might even regard it as spam, and this has consequences, you know. Dogs come to our aid again! In order to send a reply to several people, you need to put "@" in front of your comment and write the nicknames of the commenters you want to write messages to.

An illustrative example: @kathryn_dyer, @brandonreinhardt, @carrybasee, and don't forget to put emoticons, this is important :)

Important note

When you write your comment, think a hundred times what to write. Because you cannot edit them. Yes, you can't even edit your comments on Instagram. Everything has its own reason, nothing is done just like that. In other social networks, we will correct our comment, and no one will forbid us. We can edit it as we see fit. Editing a comment on Insta was banned because many abused it. We started to change the written reviews, we could change the text beyond recognition. And it's not about correcting mistakes or typos. They dabbled in various social networks like this:

Hey! Are you on the phone?
- Yes!
- OK)

And there are a lot of such cases, so the developers of Insta made the right decision, leave the comment as it is and not be able to change it. So forget about the question: "How to edit comments on Insta?"

To correct your comment, you will have to delete your old one and write a new one. But what if you have a very long text and you don't want to write it over again? You will find the answer in the next sentence. We will copy. Below is the step-by-step instruction How to copy text on Instagram:

pinch the screen for comments;
a window will appear;
copy the text by clicking on the "copy text" button;
pinch the screen in the comment field;
click "insert".

The menu may differ on different phone models. For example, in Samsung, the window does not appear, so we copy it differently:

pinch on the text of the comment;
Selection Tools will appear;
select the desired area of the text and click "copy"
further the same.

For PC users, everything is much easier. It is enough to swipe over the desired text with the mouse holding the left button and press CTRL + C, and in the text entry field, press CTRL + V. This is how we managed to insert the old text, correct it and re-send the comment we left earlier.

How to recover a deleted comment and can it be returned? It should be noted that if you deleted the comment and updated the page, then it will not be possible to restore it.

Oops, how unexpected ...

How do I reply to a comment in a story?

To begin with, you cannot leave comments in stories. People write their opinions about your stories only in Direct, and no one else manages to find out about it. If your friend decided to publish a story, and you consider it your duty to somehow react to him, then in the lower right corner there is a button "write a message". Click there, insert your message and send.

Conclusion

Today we have learned about many things, which, perhaps, did not know about before. We use a free social network, so there is no one to present their claims. And there are not so many of them, technologies and ideas always strive for perfection. Developers are trying to add different Instagram chips to stand out from others, and they do it well, since other popular social networks borrow ideas from Insta.

Do you have any questions? Ask them in

How to respond on Instagram to a specific person if other comments create inconvenience? Most often, popular bloggers and media personalities face such difficulties, since they have the largest number subscribers who literally write dozens of messages every minute. But the need for an answer arises for almost all people with open accounts and posts.

Instagram is very often updated and changed. Previously, in order to write an answer to a certain person, it was necessary to register his login directly in the message field and only then the text addressed to him. It was available to everyone, but it caused some inconvenience. It was also possible to answer without specifying a nickname, but there was no guarantee that the user would read the address addressed to him. These methods work now, but recent social media updates have made it easier to use the interface.

From the phone

Only registered and authorized users can respond to messages and comments, so you need to log into your profile before starting the action. Next, you should do the following activities:

Find the blog and post of interest.
Click the icon for commenting (located directly below the picture and has the shape of a cloud).
Find the record you are interested in.
Click under the "Reply" entry, write and send the text.

If they reply to your post, then you can comment on it in the same way or simply by clicking on the notification.

From the computer

It is quite easy to write a reply letter to any user from the phone. But how to respond to a comment from a specific person on the web version of the social network on Instagram? Latest updates, unfortunately, do not provide for a simplification of the procedure. Therefore, you will need to act using the scheme:

Log in to the system.
Select the post of interest (you will not have to open the feed of other people's posts. It is located to the right of the image (or below, if the content is viewed in news feed) immediately after the signature of the account owner).
Select a commentator and write his login in the message field.
Write text and press Enter on your keyboard.

This is the only way to create a record. But it is possible that the order of comments will change with the new update.

Note: The @ sign must be in front of the login in the message, otherwise it will not be addressed to a specific user.

How to reply to multiple users

If there is a need to write an answer to two or three people on the phone, the answer method described above will not work. In this case, you will have to use the old scheme. This requires:

Select any entry under the post.
Write, starting with @, all the logins to which the message will be addressed.
Write out the text and press send.

Thus, it is possible to respond both to your own posts and to the publications of other bloggers. At the same time, it is recommended not to create conflict situations and not to write "spam" in order to avoid blocking. Quotation marks are not required to write text.

How to write a comment on Instagram to a specific person

The easiest way to communicate is to use mobile version social network. It has a number of undeniable advantages over the computer:

is always there;
takes up less space;
has more advanced functionality;
saves time for writing text and publishing posts and posts;
loads faster.

When using the version for a smartphone, consumers rarely have questions about how to respond to a comment to a specific person on Instagram, since the interface is very simple and straightforward even after updates. The answer here can be written both to someone else's comment and to a letter addressed to a specific user. It is also allowed to leave a normal comment under the post.

Note: If, due to an error or accident, the user's answer is deleted, it is possible to restore it by clicking on the red tab with a message about the deletion. This should be done immediately after deletion, because after a few seconds it will disappear and you will have to write the text again.

In any business, one way or another, negative reviews and comments from dissatisfied customers appear. Working online will always generate a lot of negative comments on social media pages and on a company's blog, especially if the company is successful and sells a lot. Therefore, the question arises of how to correctly respond to comments on social networks.

As a rule, the entrepreneur himself is not able to independently track his Internet presence. In any, even the most successful company, there are clients who are dissatisfied with something and their comments can cause serious damage to the company's reputation, or, on the contrary, can help the company improve its position in the eyes of potential clients. The main thing is to learn how to properly react and respond to such remarks.

How to reply to comments

1. Answer for others. Before responding to negative comments, you should always keep in mind that you are not responding personally to the one who left your comment, but to the others who will read your dialogue. It is this audience that you need to count on.

2. Maintain your reputation... You should not get personal, no matter how bad and aggressive the comment turns out to be, remember, you need to look worthy in the eyes of the following readers. Therefore, give the opportunity for people to think about the solution to the problem that has arisen. You can just provide information and not impose your opinion.

3. Criticize yourself. If the problem is really in you, then admit your guilt and then you will be praised, because any action creates opposition. When you publicly criticize yourself and admit your guilt, then you deserve only respect, you will be pulled out by other witnesses of this dialogue.

4. Cover negative immediately. Some companies make a gross mistake: they start asking clarifying questions to the author of a negative comment. This should not be done, there is no need to drag out the dialogue, it is better to quickly respond to comments on social networks and dot the i's.

5. Don't reply to all comments. When you quickly reply to comments, you prevent other users from speaking out. Therefore, leave some comments unanswered so that other members have their say and you will respond later. Otherwise, your dialogues will look like civil strife.

How to effectively reply to comments on social media

1. Don't react. Before responding to a negative comment, cool it down, otherwise you will not feel the boundaries of what is allowed and become personal, which will negatively affect your reputation in the eyes of subsequent customers.

2. Take it seriously. Don't confuse constructive comments with trying to troll you. After all, this is an opportunity to track the work of all departments. Let's say a shop assistant was rude to a client or refused to work with him, the sales manager left the client halfway before placing an order. Therefore, you need to apologize, admit your guilt, and resolve the issue.

3. Answer publicly even if you solve the problem via chat or support. So users will see that you care about solving such issues, and do not leave them unattended.

4. Remain polite and don't fall on the client level. In fact, the difficulty lies in the fact that you need to remain not only polite, but also persuasive, which is not always possible in correspondence. It is for this reason that you should not reply to all comments. Let the rest of the users also participate in this conversation. Most likely there will be those who will take your side if the comment is too negative.

5. Monitor your internet presence and mentions. Use online monitoring services and mention your company - YouScan, IQBuzz, Wobot, Babkee, Yandex.blogs, Google Alerts. This will allow you to react to the comment in a timely manner and eliminate negativity.

In general, negative comments are even good! Anticipating the question, why is negative comments on social media a good thing?

The fact is that when trick questions, negative comments, some public objections appear, they give you the opportunity to tell more about your company and show your best side. After all, when there are no negative reviews and comments, this can be alarming. After all, it turns out that you are removing all the negativity, and it can be in the minds of your potential customers.

So, when public negativity arises, then, by responding to it, you provide weighty arguments and give more information, so you look worthy in the eyes of clients, and also refute those objections that could potentially arise from other clients. You kind of anticipate such comments, and it's a very effective communication tool.

How to reply to comments on social media

To briefly describe how you can respond to comments, use the following steps.

1. Introduce yourself.
2. Sorry for this problem.
3. If necessary, ask clarifying questions.
4. Inform that you started solving.
5. Speak the result.

Thus, the negative can be neutralized through some communication techniques. But it's best to avoid even the potential for negativity towards your company.

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How nice it is when someone says warm words to you, and even emphasizing those aspects that are important to you! Every woman at least once in her life has heard compliments addressed to herself. But not everyone can adequately respond to them. How to respond to a compliment so that both the speaker feels good and you are pleased? Good question, and we will try to find an answer to it.

Types of compliments

There are many compliments, and reactions to them vary. For example, sincere and not very. In the latter case, you are left with some unpleasant aftertaste after hearing the praise. In everyday life, we call it flattery. Usually there is a hidden goal behind it, which is almost always felt in communication.

Pleasant words can be spoken from different positions: on equal terms, from above and below. A man who compliments a woman in the latter version does not shine. We are not interested in those who feel themselves a step lower. Praise from above usually causes irritation and aggression. And a compliment given on an equal footing deserves a positive and sincere response.

Sometimes it is difficult for a man to compliment you directly, so he takes a detour. For example, instead of "you look great," he says: "Every passer-by turns at you!" You can hear notes of anger in this, and this is logical, because he is worried about his own self-doubt.

There are also hidden compliments. It is not always appropriate to say nice things to a person directly. In this case, the atmosphere of closeness and trust in the relationship is created through indirect methods: interested questions, sincere remarks and natural reactions to the conversation. Especially often we come across this at the beginning of a relationship, when the young man and the girl are a little awkward and at the same time pleasant to play such a subtle game.

Erroneous reactions

Before talking about how to properly respond to praise, let's figure out the peculiarities of our negative reactions. Some are flushed with embarrassment, others are trying to turn invisible. You can react to compliments in different ways, but I want to save you from the most common mistakes:

Objection

Many girls, having heard the praise addressed to them, immediately begin to argue with her: "There is nothing special in this!" or "It happened by itself!" Behind this is the desire to belittle yourself and your dignity, which at least looks strange and embarrassing for the one who says the compliment.

Justification

The girl instantly has a desire to make excuses for something good. She begins to tell unnecessary details about why some of her features are admired. For example: "Oh, I bought this dress in a thrift store for a penny."

Ignoring

Some women do not respond to compliments to a man at all, pretending that nothing happened. It makes sense to do this only when the person is deeply unpleasant to you, and you do not want to talk to him. Otherwise, the lack of reaction hurts even more than its presence in any form.

Neglect

It is very unpleasant when you praised a person, but he makes his face a brick and shows indifference with his whole appearance. There is a feeling that you have given something, but nobody needs it, and disappointment, mixed with resentment, becomes a natural result.

Excessive inspiration

Another extreme to avoid. There is a category of girls who, having heard a few flattering words addressed to them, are ready to do everything for the sake of the person who speaks them. But this is wrong! Normally, if someone compliments you, they just want to make you happy, and they don't need anything else from you. If you lose your head and start "swimming", then you become very vulnerable and accessible to manipulation.

Everything in this world is natural. Reactions are based on reasons that are associated with personality problems. Perhaps it’s not you: to rule out this option, think about what compliments make you want to send them to hell with the speaker. If this list includes individuals with their words, then you should think about communicating with them. When you cannot accept praise at all, you should look for the reason in yourself.

Low self-esteem

She often has low self-esteem. You have a strong belief that you cannot be truly admired. Any praise is perceived as a mockery and causes the wrong reaction. Usually, the roots of this problem should be looked for in childhood, when parents and other adults give little praise to a child who is still small, and all his ideas about himself depend on the assessments of others. Therefore, you take any compliments with suspicion, and it seems to you that you are being deceived. The only way out is to love yourself. This will have a positive effect on all areas of your life.

From low self-esteem, it logically follows the feeling of awkwardness experienced by a person who has heard supposedly undeserved praise in himself. Sometimes, in advanced cases, it even transforms into a feeling of guilt, because it seems to you that you are deceiving others, and they have illusions about you.

Heightened self-esteem

Another category of people, on the contrary, has an overestimated self-esteem. It seems to them that the achievement that a person pays attention to is a trifle, and they are capable of more. Some even take offense at the praise, saying something like: "Does it really seem to you that this is the maximum that I can do ?!" If compliments make you feel these or similar feelings, then it's time to think about correcting your self-esteem.

Sometimes we feel as though compliments oblige us to do something. If praised, then the person needs to be given something in return: reciprocal praise, your warm attitude, or even a favor. Usually, it is all the fault of the attitudes that have been entrenched in the subconscious since childhood or adolescence: "in life you have to pay for everything", "free cheese is only in a mousetrap." You can, of course, respond with a compliment to a compliment, but chances are high that it will not look natural.

Suspicion

Finally, the last reason we don't know how to respond correctly to a compliment is suspicion. You decide that the person is trying to manipulate you. Simply put, flattering you, exaggerating or even inventing non-existent merits and achievements. In some cases, this may turn out to be true, and then your intuition should be envied. However, if you are trying to find a catch in every praise, then it is worth considering. Most likely, the whole thing is in negative attitudes towards people or the whole world as a whole. For example, "a man can only need one thing from a woman," "the world is full of evil." These thoughts just won't make you happy, and you need to get rid of them - sometimes with the help of a psychologist.

Action plan

So someone complimented you. This is the man who has long sympathized with you, or the boss who liked the annual report. Drop all obstacles and irrational attitudes and respond to praise. And we will tell you how to do it.

Believe in the compliment internally

People usually say nice words to each other to please. So, accept this fact! When you hear a compliment about your person, sincerely rejoice in yourself. The person's words may sound fake and unnatural, but try to believe otherwise.

You can reassure yourself that even if it seems as if your merits were exaggerated, this is your friend's personal point of view. And he has the right to think so, especially since we often perceive ourselves through the prism of personal defenses and attitudes, and a person from the outside can see better. You don't lose anything by believing in a compliment, but, being disappointed, you will get a spoiled mood for the whole day.

Sincere joy

As soon as you accept the compliment, the second stage of the reaction will come naturally. Look into the eyes of the person giving the praise, straighten your shoulders, straighten your back, and smile beautifully. He will be pleased to see that you are pleased with his words. We will tell you a short story sent by one of the readers to our editorial office. There is a sad girl at the bus stop - she looks like she is pretty tired at work. And then a young man passing by complimented her figure. How she instantly blossomed! Not a trace of fatigue remained, and in a couple of seconds she turned into a real beauty. This is the power of compliments.

Gratitude

The easiest thing you can do is say, "Thank you!" This is enough for an adequate response to a compliment. You don't need more! Although, if a person's praise had a magical effect on you, you can say something like: "Your words are a real balm for my soul!" Or: "Thank you, I am very glad that you like this." Sometimes it is appropriate to joke: "I am learning from you!", "I take an example from you." If there is a slight embarrassment, then it should not be hidden: "I am embarrassed, but I am very pleased to hear it." You can dilute the words with gestures and take the person by the hand or even hug. The main thing is to be natural and positive.

To properly respond to any compliments, understand one simple thing: you have every right to accept them from other people. They say them sincerely and from a pure heart, wanting to bring you joy or improve your mood.

You have the right to be happy that other people like you or your actions. Well, in order to hear pleasant words addressed to you more often, it is enough to say more compliments yourself, and they will return to you in even greater quantities!

But not everyone can adequately respond to them. How to respond to a compliment so that both the speaker feels good and you are pleased? Good question, and we will try to find an answer to it.

Types of compliments

There are a myriad of compliments, and the response to them can vary greatly from species to species. First, they may or may not be sincere. As a rule, in the latter case, you have some kind of unpleasant aftertaste after hearing the praise. In everyday life, we call it flattery. Usually there is some hidden goal behind it, which is almost always felt in communication.

Pleasant words can be spoken from different positions: on equal terms, from above and below. A man who compliments a woman in the latter version does not shine. We are not interested in those who feel themselves a step lower. Praise from above looks like a handout from the powerful world and usually causes only irritation and aggression. And only a compliment made on an equal footing is worthy of a positive and sincere reaction.

Sometimes it can be difficult for a guy to compliment you directly, so he takes a detour. For example, instead of “you look great”, he says: “Every passer-by turns at you!”. You can hear anger in this, and it is logical, because he is worried about his own self-doubt.

There is also such a subspecies as hidden compliments. It is not always appropriate to say pleasant things to a person directly - in this case, an atmosphere of intimacy and trust in a relationship is created through indirect methods: interested questions, sincere remarks and natural reactions to the conversation. Especially often we come across this at the beginning of a relationship, when a guy and a girl are a little awkward and, at the same time, it is pleasant to play such a subtle game.

Erroneous reactions

Before talking about how to properly respond to praise, you need to understand the characteristics of our negative reactions. Some girls are flushed with embarrassment, others are trying to turn invisible. One way or another, you can react to compliments in different ways, but I want to save you from the most common mistakes:

Objection

Many girls, having heard the praise addressed to them, immediately begin to argue with her: "There is nothing special in this!" or "It happened by itself!" Behind this is the desire to belittle oneself and one's dignity, which, at the very least, looks rather strange and causes embarrassment to the one who says the compliment.

Justification

The girl instantly has a desire to make excuses for something good. Often she begins to tell unnecessary details about why some of her features are admired. For example: "Oh, I bought this dress in a thrift store for mere pennies."

Ignoring

Some women generally prefer not to return a compliment to a man, pretending that nothing happened. But in fact, it makes sense to do this only when the person is deeply unpleasant to you, and you do not want to talk to him at all. Otherwise, the lack of reaction hurts even more than its presence in any form.

Neglect

Agree, it is very unpleasant when you praised a person, and he makes his face a brick and shows indifference with all his appearance. There is a feeling that you have given something, but nobody needs it, and disappointment and resentment become a natural result.

Excessive inspiration

This is another extreme that should be avoided. There is a category of girls who, having heard a few flattering words addressed to them, are ready to do everything for the sake of the person who speaks them. But this is wrong! Normally, if someone compliments you, they just want to make you happy, and they don't need anything else from you. And if you lose your head and start “swimming”, then you become very vulnerable and accessible to manipulation.

Reasons for Wrong Answers to Compliments

Almost nothing in the world happens by accident. All of the above reactions are based on any reasons, which, as a rule, are associated with personality problems. It may not be about you either - to rule it out, think about what compliments make you want to send them away. If this list includes only individual people with their words, then you should think about communicating with them. Well, in the case when you cannot accept praise in your address at all, you should look for the reason in yourself.

Most often, she has low self-esteem. You have a strong belief that you cannot be truly admired. Accordingly, any praise is perceived as a mockery and causes the wrong reaction. Usually, the roots of this problem should be looked for in childhood, when parents and other significant adults give little praise to a child who is still small, and all his ideas about himself depend on the assessments of others. Therefore, already as an adult, you take any compliments with distrust, and it seems to you that you are being deceived. The only way out is to love yourself. By the way, this will have a positive effect on all areas of your life.

From low self-esteem, it is quite logical that the feeling of awkwardness experienced by a person who has heard about himself supposedly undeserved praise follows. Sometimes, in especially neglected cases, it even transforms into a feeling of guilt, because it seems to you that you are deceiving others, and they have illusions about you.

Another category of people, on the contrary, has an overestimated self-esteem. It seems to them that the achievement that a person pays attention to is a mere trifle, and they are capable of more. Some even manage to take offense at the praise, saying something like: “Do you really think that this is the maximum that I can do ?!”. If compliments evoke these or similar feelings in you, then it's obviously time to think about correcting your self-esteem.

It also happens that it seems to us that compliments oblige us to something.

If you have been praised, then the person needs to be given something in return: reciprocal praise, your warm attitude, or even some kind of service. Usually, it is all the fault of the attitudes that have been entrenched in the subconscious since childhood or adolescence - "in life you have to pay for everything" or "free cheese is only in a mousetrap." You can, of course, respond corny with a compliment to a compliment, but there is a high probability that it will not look beautiful and natural. It is much better if you work with these attitudes, for example, by making a list of good “free” things and convincing yourself of the irrationality of the penetration of commodity-money relations into all spheres of life.

Finally, the last reason we don't know how to respond correctly to a compliment is suspiciousness. You decide that the person is trying to manipulate you with praise. Simply put, flattering you, exaggerating or even inventing non-existent merits and achievements. Unfortunately, in some cases this may turn out to be true, and then a monument to your intuition should be erected. However, if you strive to see a similar catch in every praise, then it is worth considering. Most likely, the whole point is in negative attitudes towards people or the whole world as a whole, for example, “a man can only need one thing from a woman” or “the world is full of evil”. Naturally, such ideas simply will not let you be happy, and you need to get rid of them - sometimes with the help of a psychologist.

Action plan

So someone complimented you. Perhaps this is a man who has sympathized with you for a long time or it is the boss who is pleasantly delighted with the annual report - it does not matter. You should drop all of the above obstacles and irrational attitudes in order to properly respond to praise. And we will tell you how to do it.

Believe in the compliment internally

Did you know that people usually say nice words to each other just to please each other? So, accept this fact! When you hear a compliment about your person, sincerely rejoice in yourself. The person's words may sound fake and unnatural, but try believing otherwise.

You can reassure yourself that even if it seems as if your merits were exaggerated, this is your friend's personal point of view. And he has the right to think so, especially since we often perceive ourselves through the prism of personal defenses and attitudes, and a person from the outside can see better. In addition, you do not lose anything by believing in a compliment, but, being disappointed, you will get a spoiled mood for half a day.

Sincere joy

As soon as you accept the compliment, the second stage of the reaction will come naturally. You look into the eyes of the person who voiced the praise, straighten your shoulders, straighten your back and smile beautifully. He will be pleased to see that you are pleased with his words. We will tell you a short story sent by one of the readers. There is a sad girl at the bus stop - she looks like she is pretty tired at work. And then a guy passing by made a compliment to her figure. How she instantly blossomed! Not a trace of fatigue remained, and in a couple of seconds she turned into a real beauty. This is the power of compliments.

Gratitude

The simplest and easiest thing you can do is say, “Thank you!”. This is absolutely and completely sufficient for an adequate response to a compliment. You don't need more! Although, if the praise of a person really had a magical effect on you, you can say something like: "Your words are a real balm for my soul!" or “Thank you, I'm so glad you like this.” In some cases, it is appropriate to joke: "I'm learning from you!" or "I'll take an example from you." If there is a slight embarrassment, then it should not be hidden: "I am embarrassed, but I am very pleased to hear that." You can dilute the words with non-verbal and take the person by the hand or even hug. The most important thing is to be natural and positive.

In order to properly respond to any compliments, you just need to realize one simple thing: you have every right to accept them from the people around you. When they say them, they do it sincerely and from a pure heart, wanting to bring you joy or improve your mood.

You have the right to be happy that other people like you or your actions. Well, in order to hear pleasant words addressed to you more often, you just have to say more compliments yourself, and they will definitely return to you a pleasant hundredfold.

Instructions

Do not look for a "double bottom" of praise, take the kind words that the girl told you as the truth. Don't convince the other person that you don't deserve compliments. Indeed, in this case, there is a danger of assuring the young lady that you are right! Build your self-esteem so that you don't feel embarrassed when you hear praise.

The response to praise should be simple and short. You do not need long and detailed stories about how you regularly go to workouts and what exercises you perform there in order to achieve the amount of muscle that. If you praised your hairstyle, do not explain which hairdresser you went to, just say that you also like it and it is very good that you have the same taste.

Thank the girl for her kind words and her attention to your person. Rejoice from the bottom of your heart, because usually people give compliments to please a nice person. Just do not remain indifferent and indifferent, with such a reaction you can offend the girl.

If it seemed to you that the praise was a little taut and insincere, think about why these words were said, for what purpose. Maybe the girl herself simply could not pronounce the prepared phrase with feeling. You do not need to immediately think about the bad, it is better to cheer the person up with a compliment, start a casual conversation to relieve tension.

To show the girl that you like her words, smile and look the other person in the eyes. Note her positive qualities: “Katya, how good it is that at least someone notices my efforts to look better! I have long wanted to tell you that I am a kind girl, but I was embarrassed to talk about it! "

A good joke will always come to your aid in response to a compliment: “I'm trying to adopt your style, but I can't find a dress!”. Lightly touch the girl's hand or hug her warmly, in this case even words will not be needed.

Sources:

The art of answering compliments
how do you respond to compliments
THANKS IN VERSES

A compliment to a girl is a beautiful and romantic gesture of expressing your admiration for her in one aspect or another. The choice and presentation of compliments should be approached responsibly, as the outcome of your further relationship may depend on it.

Instructions

Try to pay attention to the girl's appearance more often. For example, if she changed her hairstyle, hair color, had a manicure, be sure to tell about it. Try to express short, but very specific compliments, such as “What beautiful hair! "," This color suits you ", etc. You can say the phrase in a humorous tone and with a smile on your face. If you are in a close relationship with a girl, you can add a suitable gesture to the words, for example, run your hand through her hair, take her hand, etc.

One of the most important aspects that certainly requires compliments from a man is appearance girls. Most likely, she will wear a new dress or suit, various jewelry and adornments to meet you. You don't have to name every detail you like. You can, for example, casually touch her necklace or earrings, gently hug her waist, and only then compliment her on a particular item. The smell of her perfume also deserves special attention. You might even say it's your favorite scent.

There are two things girls most often expect to hear compliments about: their eyes, their smile, and their hands. For example, we can say that today she smiles in a special way, and this smile is simply impossible. Also in advance, before meeting a girl, come up with an interesting compliment about her eyes, for example, say that they are your favorite color, or that you are drowning in her gaze and are ready to look into her eyes constantly. Be sure to note that the girl has soft and smooth skin by taking her hand.

Inga Mayakovskaya

Reading time: 7 minutes

All women, from time to time, hear compliments in their address. Some compliments - from the heart, sincere, others - banal flattery and sycophancy, others - from timid admirers, fourth - cheeky and shameless, etc. The reaction of the weaker sex to compliments depends not only on the emotional message of the "flatterer", but also on the inner attitude of a woman.

What should be the response of a woman to a compliment, and what are our mistakes?

Common mistakes women make in response to compliments - learning to manage emotions!

Each lady has her own reaction to praise - embarrassment, indignation, confusion, etc. We, women, react to compliments because of our good breeding, character and other factors , but the main thing is not to make mistakes in this matter.

Namely…

Don't mind
If you have received a compliment, you should not immediately stop the "galloping horse", they say, "It seemed to you!", "There is better!" or “What nonsense! You might think I haven't seen myself in the mirror since morning! " By this you belittle yourself, your talents, your dignity. Moreover, with such a reaction you will not at all raise yourself in the eyes of a man, and even, on the contrary, embarrass him.
Don't make excuses
Your beautiful dress, great figure, unearthly eyes and all the ammunition of talents - this is a reason for pride, not shame. There is no need to immediately tell you that you spent a lot of time on this tan in the solarium, that the breathtaking smoothness of your legs cost you six months of sessions in the salon, and this amazing handbag is generally from second-hand. If you don't respect yourself, don't expect others to respect yourself.
Don't ignore compliments
You should not defiantly turn away with a contemptuous face and show the world your cosmic inaccessibility, even if you are extremely embarrassed and dream of falling through the beautiful tiles in the store. It is simply ugly, uncivilized and does not at all paint a woman. Of course, we are talking about normal men with normal compliments, and not about "Hey, man, where did you get those crooked tights?" from the company of gopniks from the local bench, or about "Madam, are you so gorgeous that you could add 10 rubles for a beer to me?" from the lost "ghost of communism" with a pair of lanterns on his face. For a normal man, your behavior will hurt, offend, or simply cause rejection. If you already have children, you probably know that ignoring is the scariest reaction.
Do not express disdain
Even in the unpleasant cases described above. Be above the behavior of the woman who arrogantly folds her lips in a bow and, twitching her nostrils, looks disgustedly through the person.
If you have been given a compliment, do not jump for joy, clap your hands, throw yourself on the “flatterer's” neck and express delight in other overly emotional ways
This is extreme. Abandoned phrase "How beautiful you are!" (for example) also does not mean that now you owe this person anything or are obliged, at least, to give a reciprocal compliment. You don't owe anyone anything. Have you noticed your beauty, talent, action? "Thank you" and "We ran to live on." The more confusion in response to praise, the more your unreasonable "sense of duty", the brighter the emotions from (most often) meaningless words - the more vulnerable you are to manipulating you for the purposes of men. And these goals, as a rule, are not a stamp in your passport and a villa for you in the Caribbean. Read also:

Reasons that do not give a woman a beautiful and correct answer to a compliment

There are no accidents in our world. Everything is interconnected, and everything has its cause and effect. No exception - and a woman's reaction to compliments.

Why we are not able to adequately respond to praise , and what is the reason for the embarrassment, irritation or desire to "send him with compliments to the bathhouse"?

Human rejection
The very first and main reason. The person simply does not like, frankly unpleasant, or he is simply unfamiliar to you, and your mother taught you not to respond to “shameless” compliments from beautiful and brutal strangers (according to the principle of “The Wolf and Little Red Riding Hood”).
Low self-esteem
The second most common reason. For some reason, you are sure (or someone assured you, "hammered", made you accept as a fact) that you are terrible, your legs are not at all like Cameron Diaz's, and the place from which they grow is wrong. And the hands are generally nailed to the wrong place, and even the sky has deprived of talents. Why did you decide you didn't deserve a compliment? Why do you think that you didn't stand next to some Jennifer Lopez? Yes, she has an insured part of her body, on which men from all over the world have been salivating for many years, but not a single priest, even the most insured, can resist the influence of pregnancy, age and old age. Moreover, the men walk in formation at the smell of your borscht alone, as if hypnotized, and, barely noticing your stunning smile, they fall in stacks. Spit on your prejudices and complexes and start to respect yourself. And love.
Awkwardness and guilt
Repetition is the mother of learning: if your merits are recognized, this does not mean that others live in a world of illusions or do not know you well. This means that your talent (appearance, beauty, etc.) is appreciated. Except when they openly lie to you, and you understand it. "You to me - I to you" in the case of compliments will be similar to "the cockerel praises the cuckoo." Be natural and learn to accept compliments wisely in a feminine way - a little condescending, with a half smile, and immediately throw them out of your head.
Heightened self-esteem
Another extreme. Women in this category are usually offended that they were not praised enough intensively or for the wrong thing. Or they only saw the "tops" while the "roots" are worth closer attention and praise. In this situation, there is only one piece of advice - look at yourself from the outside and start correcting your self-esteem. Hypertrophied self-love is called selfishness.
Pathological suspicion
Of course, if at 2 o'clock in the morning, returning from the guests, you suddenly hear from the bushes threatening - "You are my charm!" , hit the causal place with your knee and get away as fast as you can. But in every man who compliments you, to see a scoundrel, a maniac and just a selfish type is the way to a psychologist (if not to say - to a psychiatrist). Because the attitudes "The world is evil", "All men are good ...", "Yeah, I got a compliment again, which means I am attracting too much attention, it's time to put on a burqa and a sackcloth dress" or "I am nothing, and I am unworthy praise "- initially come from problems in the internal psychological balance. Discretion is good, intuition is even better, unfounded chronic suspicion of everyone is pathology. It is definitely impossible to become happy with such attitudes.

How to respond correctly to a man's compliment - instructions for self-respecting women

You've received a compliment. How to react, what to answer? Rejoice, blush or run without looking back?

First, turn on your intuition.
She rarely lets a woman down. If you feel and see that they are shamelessly deceiving you, that they want something “from under you”, hope for a reciprocal curtsy, try to pity, put in an uncomfortable position - do not show your emotions, nod politely and go on with your business. If your gentleman is too sticky - use the tips.
Imagine - sometimes people say compliments just to please each other!
Accept this fact and rejoice in the fact that you are loved and appreciated. And even a little flattery from a good person will not hurt.
Do not convince the "flatterer" otherwise
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Your talent means nothing to you, and the person, perhaps, has never seen anything more amazing in his life. And in general - from the outside it is better to know. Thank and forget about the compliment (tormented by it, not sleeping at night, weighing its "validity" and looking for pitfalls is useless).
If your sincere emotions in response to a compliment do not coincide with the hopes of the "flatterer" - do not upset the person
Keep your emotions to yourself. Sincerity, of course, is great, but it can also finally "finish off" a man. A smile is your best answer. Only a modest smile - not Hollywood, not reassuring, not ingratiating. And fewer words. “Thank you” or “Thank you” is enough. If you have no problems with a sense of humor (both, of course), you can answer the praise in a joking tone. And the situation will be defused, and the awkward pause will end, and besides, laughter prolongs life.
Do not flatter yourself
You should not fill the compliment with some kind of global meaning that was not put there at all. Maybe yours, for example, a work colleague just wanted to please you - well, he was in such a mood. And you, blushing and turning pale, are confused in words, perceiving his words for an invitation to closer communication (it is especially dangerous if you have feelings for him). Such a reaction can cost you your damaged reputation and disappointment. Try to distinguish politeness with gallantry from real flirting.

Compliment, when it comes from the heart - this is an additional portion of the "sun" for any woman. Receive it with dignity as a small gift and give the person back with your positive energy.

Please remember the various situations associated with compliments in your life, and share your stories in the comments below!

A compliment is seemingly such a simple thing, but you need to be able to respond to it correctly. Beautiful words can drive you into a dead end, disarm even the most sociable. How to respond to a compliment so as not to get into a mess, not to look stupid? Let's try to figure it out.

Compliments are different

It turns out that they are different. It all depends on who said what to whom, with what intonation and subtext.

Sincerely spoken words, from an open person - this is a real gift. It is always felt, as he speaks, tensely or simply, easily, from the heart. It is an honest truthful compliment that is most appreciated, it cheers up, increases self-esteem, makes our life brighter.
Compliment unnatural... Such words are pronounced for the sake of pleasure when certain goals are set for the speakers. This text is easy to recognize, it will be on duty, annoying, thrown out of courtesy, perhaps praising just those sides that you have always considered weak. Nobody needs such praise, it humiliates.
Hidden compliment made by someone who is embarrassed to speak directly, but really wants to tell you something nice.
Business, from the boss to the subordinate. This pleasant event will raise the spirit of work, but it still needs to be earned.

Even a seemingly simple thing requires the ability to respond to it. The reaction is manifested depending on the nature of the spoken words.

How not to react?

It's worth starting with understanding how not to answer:

Many, having heard praiseworthy speeches, begin to deny what was said in their address: “What are you, there is nothing special about it!”. These are provocative actions that make you praise you over and over again. Which can embarrass your opponent. Learn to receive praise with dignity.
Don't make excuses. You get the approval you deserve. And this dress that fits you so beautifully, or the smoking cessation that your friends have appreciated is yours. good job and attitude towards life.
Do not neglect, you may offend the speaker. The reaction must come without fail, even if you are extremely modest and squeezed, respond. Smile, at least say: "Thank you!"
Do not go to extremes, excessive inspiration looks cute, but silly. Stick to median behavior.

Yes, sometimes when we accept a compliment, we don’t know what to do with it. There are too many emotions, but not enough.

Reasons for the wrong reaction

To get rid of the listed unnecessary reactions, we will analyze them. causes:

The first and most important one is poor self-esteem... Are you sure, or maybe someone made it clear that you are not worthy of admiration. Usually, such problems come from childhood, from a lack of parental attention. The habit of not liking oneself has remained since then. But everything has changed, you are surrounded by new people who, perhaps, completely sincerely love you. Accept the words with firm conviction that they are correct.
And the flip side of the coin, man I think so highly of myself that someone else's praise seems insufficient for him, and he is offended, not even trying to hide it. Here you also need to correct your attitude towards yourself, but only in the opposite direction.
You think that what has been said obliges you - it is not so. You don't have to flatter in return., as the ladies of the court do on points, it looks unnatural and not sincere. You have nothing to answer - no need to. Just accept what is said.
Your distrust of the speaker may cause the wrong reaction. You look at yourself suspiciously and listen, thinking that you are being flattered too much. Yes, sometimes it's true. A great answer to this would be a good sense of humor and a poignant phrase.

So, you were given a compliment, how to respond to it?

How to respond to the compliment “you are beautiful”?

The answer to such a long-awaited compliment should be beautiful. Not all men can speak beautifully, not all girls know how to respond with dignity. Let's try to give an answer to a woman whose beauty was appreciated by a compliment:

Do not convince him otherwise. Make it clear with your answer that yes, I am a beautiful but modest lady, for example: “ Thank you, I am pleased, your words have lifted my spirits!»You can flavor all this with a restrained smile, but no more. Such tactics will keep him at a distance, but also will not frighten off the cold.
Don't be afraid to look straight in the eyes when you answer, as this will show your openness and interest in the speaker.
If you nevertheless recognize gross flattery here, laugh it off: “ You praised me ...».
Do not be rude, even if these words were said by the person from whom you least wanted to hear them. For example, the phrase: “ Didn't expect something like this from you ...", Will belittle not only him, but you as well. One must be able to save face.
You are very confused, you do not know what to say to such long-awaited phrases. Count to yourself to 10, and agree with a firm voice, believe me, you really are. But do not rush to your neck, from surging feelings, control yourself, phrases like: “ Oh God, tell me something else nice!"Can give reason to think that now everything is allowed to him.

How difficult it is to respond with dignity to male attention. But having learned this time, it will become easier to behave correctly in exciting situations further.

How to beautifully respond to a compliment?

Responding gracefully to compliments is an art. It all depends on the person who decided to "stroke" you psychologically.

If this is a close friend, you can even hug her and say with a smile: “ Thanks!»
If a business partner, humbly laugh it off " I take an example from you!»
If the man was generous in praise, do not refuse, nod slightly: “ Yes thank you!”This will make it clear that you know about it and others too.
Not only women love praise, but also men. Why not. The answer should be simple and short: “ Yes, thanks, I like my hairdresser too!". Or joking: " I try to look good, but I can't keep up with you!»

It is much easier to react to words from a friend than from a recent acquaintance or acquaintance. And even if you said something stupid and got into an awkward position, sincerity will always help fix the situation.

How to respond to a compliment with humor?

A sense of humor, no matter how familiar it sounds, will help here, but as without it. The ability to respond in an original way can often amaze the interlocutor more than the compliment itself.

"I'm not overjoyed myself!"
"And I also know how to embroider on a typewriter!"
You got nasty on the bus, remember that "politeness is the thief's best weapon": "What a kind look you have, sorry for making you angry!"
You can jokingly be indignant: "Why do you look so good today, I can't do that!"

Remember that it is difficult to answer compliments, but it is even more difficult to say them. Do not make the speaker nervous when he blurted out the wrong thing in your direction, be able to support the person who tried to please you - this, sometimes, better than any answer, will show the attitude towards him or her.

Let us say pleasant words to a friend as often as possible so that we do not face such a question: "How to respond to a compliment?" and we have always known that.