Desire to bite. What is the name of an irresistible desire to bite a loved one, to squeeze an animal. Twitching when falling asleep

YULIA MOROZOVA

Family and child psychologist in London, director of family documentaries

Sometimes we are so overwhelmed with feelings and emotions that we want not just to lick or bite on the ear of our beloved, but naturally eat it, swallow it. Absorb, as psychoanalysts would say. I dare to suggest two options why this happens:

1. Desire to merge completely and irrevocably. So that we become one as much as possible. Reality is not important here, I want the article as a whole, even in such an intricate way. This is a way to merge with him in the ecstasy of sensuality and corporeality. In addition, a loved one usually smells very tasty - and this makes you want to lick, bite, eat. We have an unconscious desire to eat the tastiest thing we have. It's also very tasty to sniff small children! And I want to take a bite. In this way, we also try to cope with the power of emotions that covers us.

2. A person experiences ambivalent feelings: love and hate at the same time. We often find ourselves in an addictive relationship that causes suffering. The partner is so close, and at the same time distant, that one wants to destroy him. Swallow and not choke

ANNA IZOTOVA

Jungian psychoanalyst

It is necessary to consider everything on a case-by-case basis. From the point of view of depth psychology, such a desire can be interpreted as the desire of the psyche to "take" inside another person, some of his properties, qualities, character traits, in order to somehow operate this "pill" in his life in relation to himself or to others. Or as a desire to understand this person more, to "digest" him, to make him "yours", to find out "what kind of fruit it is."

As, for example, the ancient peoples, and some modern civilizations, have the idea that if you eat the heart of a lion, you will become brave; and not only a lion, another person, too, if we recall cannibalistic societies.

If we are talking about the second, as a desire to understand another, then in children you can observe a similar thing when they dismember everything at the appropriate age: insects, bears, dolls, cars, picking fruits, and so on.

The mechanisms of the emergence of concepts in the psyche are the same. But again, you need to consider each specific situation, track the thoughts, feelings, associations of a person.

SASHA NOVIKOVA

User The Question

In the Tagalog language, there is a word equivalent to this phenomenon.

Gigil (Tagalog, Philippines) - an irresistible desire to bite the object of your sympathy due to an overabundance of feelings.

In my opinion, this phenomenon is associated with human psychology and moral attitudes. Each of us shows love in our own way, and a psychologist like Gary Champan describes this in his book "The Five Languages ​​of Love".

And one of those languages ​​is the language of "touch". And, probably, when a person ceases to grab those static touches, then he begins to show another form of tactile communication, namely bites.

EVGENY YAKOVLEV

consultant psychologist, business coach

Uh ... Communion ... Body and blood ... And they are not joking, and not about symbolically - they believe that they really eat it (!!) (- such is the sacrament) wikipedia.org.

This is the motive for merging: to become one. Well in love relationship, in contrast to the pious, is usually limited to psychological fusion, and even then for a while. Because there are still two different people, and illusions, even the most healthy ones (your hand is my hand, your leg is my leg, my desires are your desires ...) - illusions are destroyed about reality.

In general, this is all about appropriating, attaching to yourself forever - and ritual cannibalism, and eating a loved one.

VALERIA SVIRENKO

An under-ecologist, under-parachologist, under-perfumer.

I'll tell you more. There is even a special genre of porn associated with swallowing the object of sympathy - Vore.

EKATERINA NIKITINA

History, music, self-flagellation.

perhaps this is one of the echoes of the pyramid of needs. the physiological need for food and sex (in this context, we consider a loved one precisely as a sexual object) are intertwined, forming such a desire.

OLYA PRANTSKETIS

User TheQuestion


In this case, I always remember a cartoon, where there is one chamomile, two chamomile, remember? Mishutka ate snowflakes in winter and suddenly a bunny comes up. The bear says: "I will eat you and you will always be with me")))) Love ... she is like that ... I, too, always say: "Eat, swallow and never let go"

VLAD FROLOV

KBI student. I am sure that psychology is interesting.

You have problems)) you urgently need to see a psychotherapist, while no one is hurt) because if you asked about "bite", it would be clear that in this way you were holding back your inner emotional balance, that is, the expression of the power of your emotions in an unnatural way.

EKATERINA ZATSARENSKAYA

a bored linguist student with an interest in culturology and psychology

The attraction to the desired and beloved object is explained by physiology and sexology. It's all about pheromones. Or the smell. Often heard along with the expression of lust for someone and the message that "like the smell."

Another factor that forms a strong sexual attraction is the compatibility of sexual temperaments. If both partners are excitable and hot enough, then they almost "eat" each other.

Factrum asked a question: why do we do strange things and what is behind such behavior?

1. Unwillingness to change the toilet paper roll

On the list of difficult things we have to do on a daily basis, replacing an empty roll of toilet paper will rank last.

But for some reason, many of us find it difficult to follow this simple procedure. Why? According to psychologists, the reason is not our laziness, but that replacing the roll does not offer us any internal reward for the effort.

Similar household chores, such as taking out the trash or washing the dishes, are almost as boring, and there is not much motivation for them either, but they at least give us inner satisfaction, because after completing these tasks, the house will stop stinking in it too. rodents will not start.

Psychologists say that a truly motivating task must include three elements: competence, independence, and family ties.

Hard work must be hard enough for us to feel competent when we’re done. We also need to feel that we have some control over what we do. Plus, this work should give us the feeling that by doing it, we are improving our relationships with loved ones.

2. Desire to bite cute things

Every time a child appears next to him, someone necessarily tells him (in a necessarily cutesy voice) that he will “eat him,” “bite his finger,” or some other part of the body. Similar conversations also arise when there are puppies or something else equally cute around.

So where did we get this urge to eat cute things as a joke? Scientists have two theories about this. The first is that the “wires” in our brain, which are responsible for pleasure, “close” at moments of affection.

When people (and especially women) see a newborn baby, they get a rush of dopamine, which occurs, for example, when a person has eaten a delicious meal. This overlap of meanings makes us subconsciously want to put a cute thing in our mouth.

Another theory is that biting is a form of play found in many mammals, and that it is a manifestation of our animal side. Many animals bite each other lightly and fight among themselves as a joke. It is not yet clear what they do it for: to hone fighting skills, to improve motor coordination, or just for fun.

3. Inappropriate laughter

Many of us tend to laugh at completely inappropriate moments, such as when we see someone fall and hurt themselves or when we give bad news to someone.

And although we know perfectly well that there is nothing funny about the death of a grandmother, we are struggling to contain fits of laughter at her funeral. Laughing in situations like this is completely out of step with social standards, but it happens quite often, and for a reason.

When we laugh in a solemn atmosphere, this does not mean that we are heartless and do not respect those around us. This is likely a sign that our body, under the influence of tremendous emotional stress, is using laughter to relieve tension and discomfort.

And the giggles we make when someone falls or otherwise hurts themselves is an evolutionary function that lets the tribe know that while a person may be embarrassed or slightly hurt, there is no good reason for alarm.

In general, laughter is rarely a reaction to something "legitimately funny." Neuroscientist Sophie Scott says that laughter is most often used as a social bonding method to let people know that we like them, that we agree with them, or that we are in the same social group with them.

4. Fascination with psychopaths

Many people are attracted to creepy things, especially psychopaths. The late-night TV shows are filled with crazy killers, and for some reason we are interested in them. What is it that sparks our interest in the vilest type of people?

There are three theories to explain this obsession. The first is that observing psychopaths allows us to temporarily leave our law-abiding life and imagine ourselves in the place of someone who thinks only of himself and does not do anything that we do every day, for example, does not worry about justice or about the feelings of others.

The second theory is that psychopaths are a type of predator, and when we hear about them, it takes us back to the basics of our existence, where there is always a hunter and a prey. The stories of predators in human form allow us to touch our animal nature without a real threat to life.

The third theory is that psychopaths are attracted to us for the same reason that roller coasters and horror films are drawn to us. Sometimes we just want to be scared, and maniac stories can fill that need. This is because fear triggers a rush of the neurotransmitter dopamine, which, among other things, is responsible for feelings of pleasure.

5. Visibility of awareness

Many of us have probably been in a situation where someone accidentally asks, "Hey, have you heard of such and such?" And we automatically answer: "Yes." Although if we had time to think about the answer, we would realize that in fact we do not even understand who we are being asked about.

In addition, some people pretend to be aware although they know nothing about the subject under discussion. Scientists have researched this psychological crutch and found that most people use it to express their individuality and simply because it is so convenient.

Many of us do not have a clear idea of ​​what we really know and what we don’t, and therefore, when asked, we may unconsciously falsify our own knowledge.

Another, perhaps more obvious, reason people pretend to be aware is because they like to feel like they are know-it-alls. But why? Scientists say that our society glorifies knowledge, and being knowledgeable in some area is a plus to social status, especially if your parents were also know-it-alls.

6. Crying

Crying seems to be a common occurrence, and no one would think of it as strange. But if we dwell on it in more detail, then what is happening - salt water dripping from our eyes at some particularly emotional moments - looks a little bizarre.

How are eyes, emotions and tears related? Psychologists argue that crying is predominantly a social signal that is evolutionarily associated with danger signals.

Young animals can emit a specific distress signal so that other animals know that they need help. There is speculation that crying arose as a person's way of showing their suffering without emitting alarms that would make others alert.

From an evolutionary point of view, this may have been a sensible move, since in this case the other members of the tribe only had to look at the crybaby to understand that he was not in trouble. Interestingly, humans are the only species that sheds emotional tears. Most other animals, as adults, stop making warning sounds.

7. Twitching when falling asleep

In 70% of people, at the time of falling asleep, involuntary twitching of the limbs is observed. Unfortunately, scientists still do not know why these spasms occur, but they, of course, have certain assumptions.

Some researchers believe that these twitches are nothing more than random reactions that arise from the fact that our nerves malfunction, passing from a state of wakefulness to a state of sleep.

This is because our organs do not have switches that can be pressed before bed. Instead, we gradually move from a state where our reticular activating system (the one that regulates basic physiological processes) is working at full strength, to a state where the ventrolateral system begins to work (it is this system that causes drowsiness and affects sleep cycles).

We can be between these states, for example, when we really want to sleep, or we can begin to fight, firmly positioning ourselves in one state or another. It is because of this struggle, as scientists believe, that failures in our "ignition system" occur, leading to twitching.

8. Gossip

Usually women are considered gossips, but men are no less to blame for this social misconduct. At least one study claims that men gossip 32% more often than women during the day. What is the reason for this?

The fact that most people have an innate desire to immediately get close to others. And this desire may well outweigh any moral obligation.

We want to form social bonds with those who are around, and gossip not only gives us a reason to talk about something, but also creates a sense of trust, which begins with a series of signals that the chatterbox gives to his interlocutor.

The interlocutor, in turn, shares the proposed secret, and thus contact is established. Gossip also gives us a sense of superiority, it can cheer us up and bring some animation to boring situations.

9. Love for sad films

Every day, all kinds of nonsense happens to us, we are haunted by sorrows and setbacks, so it seems strange that some of us want to spend our leisure time even more sad. And despite this, we regularly sit down to watch melodramas.

It may seem counterintuitive but the reason is that seeing tragedies actually makes us feel happier. Watching the tragedy on screen forces people to explore their own lives and look for the good in them.

However, the researchers point out that this reaction is somewhat different from the reaction of a person who watches a tragic movie and thinks, "Damn, at least I'm not as bad as that guy."

These viewers have more selfish views, they are focused on themselves rather than others, and therefore do not feel happier after watching a movie.

Plus, watching melodramas or listening to sad stories makes us feel empathy and prompts our brains to release a special hormone that heightens our sense of caring. Scientists call oxytocin the "moral molecule" because it makes us more generous and compassionate.

10. An awkward silence

Whether we have something to say or not, many of us feel a keen urge to fill every moment of silence with conversation. Why does the prolonged silence make us feel so uncomfortable?

Like so much else in our behavior, it all comes down to wanting to fit perfectly into a social group. According to psychologists, when a conversation stops flowing in a measured way, we begin to think that something went wrong.

We may begin to think that we are not interesting, and what we say is irrelevant, and this makes us worry about our position in the group. If the dialogue goes as expected, we feel the confirmation of our social status.

However, not all cultures consider silence in conversation to be awkward. For example, in Japan, long pauses in a conversation can be a sign of respect, especially if a serious issue is being discussed in the conversation.

Do you have a desire, when you communicate with someone who is dear to you, to bite him? Most people have had it at least once in their lives. The reasons for this phenomenon are scientists different countries could not be found for decades. This mystery disturbed the minds of many people until the English scientists figured out the reason. So why do you want to bite a person?

We need to start by saying that different people show feelings differently. Someone cannot restrain himself and literally throws himself into the arms of a loved one, while others, on the contrary, are very restrained and do not show their true intentions. This is explained by the different amounts of happiness hormones: dopamine, serotonin, adrenaline, endorphins, oxytocin and vasopressin, which are secreted in the human body. Those who are more active in relationships have more of them, those who are passive have less. This difference was a problem for many couples, which often led to divorce.

The methods for showing affection are also different. For example, hug, kiss, just touch any part of the body. This is a very common manifestation of affection for another. But what if instead of tenderness, slightly unusual methods appear, such as the desire to bite a person? Does this mean lack of feelings or perversity? Scientists at Yale University have figured out the reason.

The fact is that our brain is very complex and confusing. Depending on many factors that influenced a person before the event, the reaction to it can be different. For example, when we win the lottery, we may both cry with happiness and laugh, or we may want to hit someone. This is normal, it is only the variability of our consciousness. And, depending on the internal state, the action that we do in order to show emotions will also change. This is a characteristic feature of a person, because there are a very small number of creatures that show the same reaction in different ways.

And now main question: « Why do you want to bite a person?". This needs to be broken down into several subcategories in order to fully understand the whole point. In total, a similar phenomenon manifests itself in relation to a person in two interpretations: between individuals of the opposite sex and from mother to her child.

In the first case, everything is pretty simple. We are attracted to our beloved, trying with all our might to show them. Ordinary words seems too small a manifestation for us, so we use the language of "touch" described by Gary Champan in the book "The Five Languages ​​of Love". Among others, this method is the most sensual and shows great affection. One of the forms of manifestation of "tactile" communication is biting. Thus, we are trying to show all those emotions that are seething in us. But sometimes all this is so strong that you literally want to eat the soul mate completely. There is a theory as to why this is happening. Psychoanalysts explain everything by the fact that in this way a person is trying to "merge in ecstasy" with his object of desire. In addition, we subconsciously choose for ourselves that soul mate, which for us personally smells the most attractive of all. What do people do with something that smells good? That's right, we eat. But the second theory is based on the contradictory feelings that we experience. At the same time, love and hatred for a loved one. That is, we want to hug, touch as much as possible, because we love, and we want to destroy the object of desire, so as not to experience suffering because we cannot fully unite because we hate. It is because of this opposition in our minds that thoughts arise to bite or swallow our neighbor.

In the second case, everything is much more complicated. Now it is connected not with human psychology, but with instincts and evolutionary processes. The fact is that mothers have a kind of feeling for the child, akin to hunger. That is, when they see their baby, their emotions are similar to those of the hungry, looking at delicious food. This has nothing to do with cannibalism, but a completely different phenomenon. The explanation for this phenomenon is very complex and confusing, affecting many of the evolutionary mechanisms that helped us survive. Therefore, all you need to know: such a desire is quite normal, it is not a disease, but only natural processes in the body, during which enzymes necessary for the functioning of the body are released, which make it work.

An interesting suggestion on this topic is another theory of the origin of this feeling. If we like a person with some character trait, we try to absorb this into ourselves, like a sponge. Sometimes in a rather drastic way. Like the ancient people, who considered the lion to be a brave animal, and wanted to eat his heart to gain courage. And it wasn't just animal organs that could make it to the dining table. In some tribes of aboriginal cannibals, there was even a tradition of eating the heart of the most worthy member of their family. No one refused this fate, it was considered the most worthy death. They themselves desired this, since such an event was considered the highest manifestation of respect. They also believed that thanks to this, the gods would notice them and take them into their personal retinue.

There is another theory worthy of note. It is based on the fact that we are interested in finding out what is inside a person so dear to us, to consider in more detail. An example is the desire of children to disassemble, break or tear something, even a living thing. This is done out of pure curiosity, there are no evil intentions, it just felt like it. This is the case, since people are by nature quite inquisitive.

From all of the above, it turns out that you should not be afraid to express your feelings for your loved one with a bite, this is quite natural. Even if you want to completely eat a loved one, you do not need to avoid this. It's better to show your love at least like that than without emotion at all. Although sometimes you need to restrain completely sadistic desires, such as beat a person, or worse.

A man, unlike a woman, very rarely leaves bite marks during coitus. This may sound surprising. After all, a man could well inherit from distant ancestors the tendency to bite a female during copulation. If this still happens, then the bite marks remain on the woman's neck, most often on the left side.

The origin of love bites is not to be found in sadism. A woman's tendency to bite can be explained as a heightened desire to kiss a man more strongly in a moment of ecstasy. To this end, she intensifies sucking on the partner's shoulder or neck and uses her teeth. Such actions of hers even more excite not only her partner, but also herself. In this case, ecstasy and suffering are mixed in the pleasure of both.

Ecstasy is caused by physical impact - irritation of nerve endings on the body of a man and mental - a manifestation of a woman's uncontrollable desire to express her love as strongly as possible.

The second component of pleasure - pain - is almost not felt during intense erotic arousal.

A love bite does not break the skin and does not lead to open bleeding (the bloody fluid that can be seen at the site of a recent love kiss is most often saliva, stained with blood secreted by the gums), is not a real wound and leaves a mark only for a few days or for for several weeks, in the form of a reddish-blue speck, which then turns to yellow-green and disappears without leaving any trace.

It is quite possible that the bite at the time of intercourse is a manifestation of primitive sexual repulsion between the sexes, and not at all passionate love.

Sexual attraction, as a rule, prevails only for a while, while the mutual repulsion between the sexes is stronger and more stable. Hate is often hidden behind love, and this is one of the deepest tragedies of man.

Thus, both a woman's love bite, as well as a strong pat that a man makes or wants to make on his partner's buttocks after intercourse has ended, are of great importance and are not abnormal.

Gentle nibbles are good for any kiss. But this, of course, does not mean that every love kiss must be accompanied by bites. However, at the climax of love games, when the power of the kiss reaches its climax, the bites are simply overwhelming. At the same time, there is a certain line for the bite force, beyond which bites already become a manifestation of sexual perversion, for example, sadism.

Many sex therapists believe that the borderline between norm and pathology is where the first signs of cruelty begin to appear.

A real love bite is possible not only during love games, but also during sexual intercourse itself, both at the moment of increasing pleasure and at the moment of orgasm.

The areas of the body that are most preferred for such a love bite are the shoulder of a man, usually the left, or subclavian region, in a woman - the neck (also on the left side) and both lateral surfaces of the upper half of the body. The reason for the preference given to these areas is the relative position of the bodies during coitus.

The desire to bite a partner during lovemaking is more pronounced in women than in men. A passionate woman often leaves a man with a memory of a night spent in the form of a small oval on the shoulder, which is the result of subcutaneous hemorrhage. Women bite a partner most often during or immediately after intercourse, while male love bites, weaker and more tender, leaving a much smaller mark, are more common during lovemaking prior to intercourse or in the postlude stage.

Does this mean that a man during intercourse treats a woman more carefully and more carefully than a woman treats him, and consciously controls himself in the moment of ecstasy? Not at all! The whirlwind of pleasure carries him away with the same force as hers, and this is often evidenced by the numerous bruises on her arms or back.

What is the name of the strongest impulse of love, accompanied by a terrible desire to squeeze and squeeze? What is the name of an irresistible desire to bite a loved one? Why do these emotions arise in the direction of loved ones and cute animals?

That overwhelming feeling when you want to hurt with love and just kiss is called gigil. This unusual word fully describes the colorful emotion caused by an overabundance of feelings. Sometimes, in a fit of gijil, we really deliver pain to our loved ones. It is extremely important with small children and animals.

What is gijil and why does it arise

This question still does not have any precise, scientific explanation. One thing is known, when gidzhil emotions arise, a huge amount of adrenaline and endorphin is released into the human blood. Moreover, the latter is produced in an amount commensurate with the production during a passionate kiss or gentle hug.

Some scientists suggest that gijil and the construction of this sensation are nothing more than an innate reflex that has been going on for a long time.

If you pay attention to animals, you can also notice that some individuals show something similar to their own, for example, kittens.

Especially often this feeling prevails in females. Due to their emotionality, they most often manage to feel this positive experience. The most striking thing is that gijil is manifested in men with exactly the same force as in women. By the way, usually their perception of emotions is somewhat weaker.

Is it possible to control a gijil

No, this emotion cannot be controlled. Whenever the "object of passion" comes across, a feeling will inevitably arise. Of course, like any other manifestation of tenderness or passion, you can keep them to yourself.

Surprisingly, the gijil sensation does not last long - it has a cumulative effect. As soon as the goal that you wanted to squeeze and bite from the overflow of emotions will always be with you - the feelings will come to naught. One has only to part with the "victim" - the desire to experience Gijil will return.