When work is not a joy, what to do. What to do if work is not a joy. How to determine if burnout has occurred
People often ask questions: How do you manage to do everything? Where do you get time to read and do crafts? How do you read and absorb information so quickly? Did you enjoy working in so many different social professions? Don't bad bosses annoy you?
And over and over again I explain the same things, very simple and banal, but often people do not believe such a simple solution - they believe that there must be magic, and it is very complex and secret.
That's why I'm writing an article for you. All the secrets about how to fall in love with a job you don’t like and not lose ground. How to build a fairy tale of life despite...
I want to find my own business: what prevents me from doing so?
First, let's figure out: WHY work can be disgusting...
1. You are a hopeless lazy person and a slob who prefers to live at the expense of your parents, wife/husband, his/her parents, social benefits, pensions, subsidies, etc. - “they owe me, because...” Although in fact NOBODY OWES ANYTHING TO ANYONE... except WE OWE OURSELVES AND GOD “not to waste” what has been invested in us.
2. You don’t realize how this work relates to your goal setting.
3. You are not used to difficulties: you were helped too much in childhood, friends backed you up, when failure happened, you were told: “It’s okay, it will work out later,” and you put it off until later/never.
If you were at least once forced to alter the same seam/remake the same stool 5-10 times, there would be no problems with difficult tasks. But modern pedagogy, unfortunately, raises appendages who are not capable of feats. Here you just have to choose: “Am I a trembling creature” or “I can do anything, because I am God’s creation and part of him is in me.”
4. Are you bored. The roots of this are also in childhood education: if you were raised as a fighter, then every difficult task is an adventure, and you are the captain in it, if you were entertained like a prince/princess - it is difficult - “hey, where are my servants?!” Be your own captain and servant: think about how you can have fun together with this business? Study? Fantasize? This is where modern people have a craving for solitaire and tank games at work... but this is not the right way - it will be lower.
5. We don’t know how to do it or how to start. The roots of this are see point 2 + there is no ability to negotiate (this is not taught either in the family now or at school). In the family, attempts by parents to come to an agreement end in 80% of scandals; in school - the system - you can’t agree or the system of localism or favorites, described by N.V. Gogol, as one of the biggest problems of management in Russia.
This is how fear of contract is formed. As a result, the more we don’t know at this job - the more we don’t like it - the faster we escape from there into the usual narrow world where there is no development (“So what, what’s not, but it’s understandable and safe,” the mug mutters in response) .
6. Last time there was a failure. If you constantly live by past experience, then you won’t learn anything at all, you won’t feel anything.
7. We expect troubles (refusal, swearing, etc.). See points 2 and 5 + non-acceptance of yourself, and therefore others in destructiveness, navi. There are no skills to work not with one’s own navigation, nor with external ones from others (which, to be honest, is just a reflection of our internal locked anger/resentment/fear).
And we learn to interact with the element of fire in other people:
8. Lack of a clear purpose in life and work. Then it’s just “all wrong.” Write a fairy tale of life for at least a year and set goals for it.
9 . Reluctance to learn. Then just drown yourself - in philosophy everything is simple, but not easy. Changes are never easy for anyone, but you can approach them more easily, and challenges too will be easier.
Please note that the option: “This is probably not mine” SIMPLY DOESN’T EXIST!
What to do if work is not a joy
For those who have not yet given up and run away... ACTION PLAN:
1. Write a poster for yourself and hang it in a visible place: NO ONE OWES ANYTHING TO ANYONE, except WE OWE OURSELVES AND GOD, because... They invested a lot in us and gave us the opportunity to appear in the world.
2. Deal with nearby target setting.
To do this, ask yourself questions:
- What percentage of this business are you doing for yourself? If less than 70% - For whom are you doing this? List.
- Why is this necessary? What will others, and you yourself, get from this? List.
- How much do I value what I get as a result of this business? If it’s important and significant, then: Why then all this fuss? What do I want to achieve through laziness and whining? Who is this performance for?
Well and further - In general, if the results are attractive to you, just start the business, despite the riot of mugs and internal demons - perceive them as bad background music. If the results are not attractive, stop earning love/attention/pity, etc. - rape yourself and others - QUIT IMMEDIATELY!
3. Choose: “Am I a trembling creature” or “I can do anything, because I am God’s creation and part of him is in me - I “am”? If you choose the second, stop running to your parents/girlfriends/friends/wife/husband/guru/on the Internet forum every time difficulties arise!
First ask: “Have I done everything possible to solve this task/problem/issue?” and find 7 more ways to get out of the situation. The “7 more” principle is always possible and works.
4. Do boring work to the music / in cheerful clothes (at least a hat) / looking at a beautiful picture / studying a foreign language at the same time just as a joke / take breaks every 45 minutes for 5 minutes for dancing or rhythmic exercises, and 2 times a day for 30 minutes for a walk fresh air/office massage/aromatherapy/look through magazines/drink herbal tea with citruses/call for 64 seconds (say: “I love you and am grateful to you for..” - to someone who is dear to you).
5 ."Pick up the crumbs of the birthday cake": notice little things in the form of praise from a customer, a boss, a quickly completed task from a manager, a cup of tea/coffee brought by a colleague, the politeness of a security guard, a job well done by your student or subordinate, the absence of a scandal from a harmful woman in the accounting department, etc. - write them down. All of these are little gifts from God for going in the right direction.
6. Even if you are a packer in a warehouse or a housekeeper - always be beautiful at work! From clean linen to a neat, ironed uniform, especially for stay-at-home moms: the child should remember his mom in a beautiful dress and earrings, not elongated sweatpants!
7. If you don't take a job because you've never done it, then imagine yourself as a pioneer(you can put on a pirate hat and name the business after the ship): start reading questions about it, asking your colleagues and collecting your thoughts.
Make a preliminary sketch of the work as it turns out, write a draft, do not immediately consider it an ideal, but do not fall into exalted horror because of it. Do the best you can, take a few hours off, and then see what you can improve. Approach your colleagues with the material you have accumulated. But, most likely, in the process the idea of how best to do this will come on its own. There is no need to try to do good right away, start with “bad”).
8 . It didn't work last time. So what. The butterfly was also a caterpillar at first. According to myths, the Gods were also mistaken. This time it will be better. Prove to yourself that you are a successful... sales manager. Analyze what was wrong, correct the mistakes.
Prove that you carried out the analysis correctly and correctly found the cause of the failure. Aren't you interested in seeing if it works now? It turns me on.
9. Meditation or visualization the process of doing in pleasure and a good result. You can use the ornaments/symbols of your ancestors, selecting them according to the meaning of the thing you are going to do. Previously, in any house or artel there was a Red Corner - the view of the Gods through the elements, churas, icons, etc. “strict” and inspiring at the same time.
10 . Create for yourself external threat for the impossibility of non-fulfillment. Tell someone your plans, such as your boss, and ask to monitor your progress toward your goals daily.
Yes, in an hour you will hate yourself and your boss, be afraid of the report, scold yourself, but... this will earn respect for you and help in implementing your plans. After all, ambition and the desire to justify the hopes of someone significant is a strong thing - it always stimulates “to break into the board, but to do it.”
11. If you don’t finish it out of fear of other people’s disapproval of the result of the completed work, then discuss it in advance, maybe several times, with like-minded people. Savor the upcoming results - the sweetness “on the tip of the tongue” speeds up the process.
12. Make a clear plan, which you break into stages with intermediate goals and bonuses for each. Each stage should take a period of time that you are comfortable working with (mine is 3-4 hours) without a break. Determine what will be the result by the time of the break, so that a cup of tea and a cookie become a reward for the result. So there is more pleasure from them, and also a desire to work.
13 . As soon as the enthusiasm fades away - 5 min break, but do not lie on the sofa and do not sit in the net! In general, get used to the fact that during the active period of work (the treasured 3-4 hours without a break) the phone is on silent, VK, Facebook, Instagram, etc. are turned off! It doesn't hang curled down, it's turned off!
Rest is a change of activities: walk, drawing mandalas, baptism (if you are stuck, something is annoying, it doesn’t work out, etc.), exercise, etc.
14 . Visualize the result and emotional pleasure from it.
15. Set temporary work standards. For example, I will work for 4 hours, rest for 5-10 minutes or an hour, then another 3 hours. And no matter how much work she does - smart/well done! The main thing is that there is a result, and it doesn’t matter whether it’s small or big. Don’t compare yourself with others, if this brings nothing but self-flagellation, compare yourself with your past self: you have grown, changed, become smarter, more skillful - wonderful! If you want to go faster, run/fly))
16 . Start with the most difficult tasks. Yes, yes, from the most difficult ones - in the heat of enthusiasm it is easier to accomplish a feat, then completing simple tasks will give lasting pleasure from the work, yourself as a superhero and the results.
17 . Don't get distracted unless it's planned. Even if there is a flood, you still have work, passing exams, reports, etc.
18. Order in the workplace. Nothing extraneous! A clean table means clean thoughts. There will be coffee and cookies lying around - you will think more about a break and food, even if you are full, than about work. There will be a photo of the beach - you will dream about vacation, etc. In practice, this is more of a distraction than a motivation to do the work.
19. Drink less coffee. The taurine contained in it is similar in effect to alcohol and any other drug: when consumed, it causes a sharp jump in sugar, and therefore adrenaline, but after an hour or an hour and a half a “rollback” begins: both fall down - hence lethargy, apathy, drowsiness, desire to drink more.
On this swing, not only do you become a drug addict, but you also shake the endocrine system - as a result, nervousness, sudden outbursts of anger, and inability to engage in prolonged monotonous activity.
20 .At intermediate stages, look at the work done and calculate error metrics in anticipation of the labor intensity of the work. Estimate the remaining and calculate the completion date. Inform the client/employer/employees about the status of the situation and the forecast for completion. Agree everything. Prioritize and cut down on the less important.
Transparency of such things increases confidence in you, and you scold yourself less - you get more done. After completion of the work, get together and figure out why the delay occurred and what needs to be done to prevent this from happening in the future.
The answer to an analysis of a failure at work cannot be the belief: “I am a bad worker, I failed.” The answer is to identify interference and eliminate it later so that it does not affect you. For example, I can easily get distracted by needlework - I don’t keep it near my desk.
21. Laziness sometimes it is a protective function of the body. Ask yourself questions: “Who do I want to escape from? What do I want to give up, but don’t dare say it out loud?” Work through the offense with baptism and go to an agreement.
22 . Reluctance to work and inability to complete a task is sometimes a consequence lack of time for favorite things. When was the last time you did hobbies and favorite things? Set aside 30 minutes to an hour a day for a hobby.
23 . When we put things off until the critical deadline, it is either due to laziness (see point above) or pleasure. Yes, yes, you can get addicted to adrenaline. And so, you subconsciously take your time so that you can then run around like an ostrich, solving problems. The body rests so that it can then give its best. This is a variant of sadomasochism. Why do you need it? Don't you feel the thrill of life differently? Set big, really big goals for you.
24. Ask yourself a question: “ What's the worst thing that will happen if I don't succeed?? It's simple: nothing will change. You won't get rich from a new idea. You never met, and you never will. You won't get what you didn't already have. You will continue to remain in the dark.
Ignorance is beautiful. And it really protects our self-esteem. But only by trying (by asking, saying, doing) can you change your situation. Fear of a situation is the fear of what may not happen. And having started to act, You can gain at least experience, and at maximum a dream.
And remember that any person, business, situation that God sends to us is given, from the point of view of Triglav, for three awarenesses:
From the position Navi: to search for obstacles in yourself, causes of discontent, grievances and fears, and then cleanse them. There is no outside interference - everything is within us. There is no word: “I can’t” - there is: “I don’t want,” but it is: “for some reason.”
From point of view Reveal: revealing some kind of talents in oneself, hidden potential that lies idle or is used only 10-20%.
A Edit leads us: to become higher than we were yesterday and our ancestors once upon a time, to turn from fools into princes, beautiful enchantresses into incomparable wise guardians.
Therefore, there are no unloved jobs and bad people - there are endless games with God and billions of scenery options.
P.S. How to find your dream business and understand your purpose in 
P.P.S. How do you feel about your work? Do you have your own secrets for turning work into joy?
about the author
Arina Nikitina
Healer, hereditary sorceress, teacher of Slavic culture and bearer of the Slavic tradition, philologist, chiropractor, surgeon.
Isn't all work fun? How to find the “weak link”? Search for resources in four areas of life. Rituals and their role in finding joy. Routine of the day, week, month - what to do to feel better at work. What can be changed and where to start changing?
It was still dark outside the window. I wanted to sleep so badly that it seemed that if I blinked, my eyes would stick together and nothing would force them to open. But the alarm clock rang and rang. And it will ring for a long time, every two minutes. He lies so far away on purpose. To turn it off, you need to jump out of bed, quickly run across the cold tiles (this is also intended), grab the phone from the shelf and duck back with it under the warm blanket. And while in bed, you still need to solve an arithmetic problem that blocks the bell from turning off.
While all these operations are being carried out, sleep disappears. More precisely, he hides somewhere in a corner, secretly making a voice every hour - either with a yawn, or with a memory of the bed, or with a sudden impotence. Then you need to drown it out, preferably with a cup of coffee.
Getting out of bed, she runs to the bathroom, then quickly to the kitchen, half asleep, makes coffee and pours boiling water over the oatmeal. The main thing is not to get burned by boiling water. Don't pour it on your feet. The main thing is to be on time!
Having given up coffee - you can drink it at work without finishing your oatmeal - you still don’t want to eat anything this early, she hastily threw on her clothes. Buttoning up her jacket as she walked, she locked the doors...
And she froze, peering into the night. I imagined walking into the office, saying hello, taking a pen and celebrating my arrival... And then - the same thing, for many, many years now... A wave of nausea rolled in and grabbed my stomach. She realized that she simply could not go anywhere now. With trembling hands, she opened the door, burst into the apartment and sank to the floor...
Many years ago, Grigory Skovoroda wrote about “related work” - about work that is “related” to us, close to us, gives pleasure, joy from doing it. This is what we dreamed of doing, what we do well and what we like. By doing “related” work, a person can be happy.
Calculate the time your work takes (per day).
Let's say you work a standard 8 hours. Travel time there and back is another 2 hours. Total - 10 hours.
Count how many hours you sleep. The average figure is 8 hours.
Total, sleep + work = 18 hours.
There are 24 hours in a day, no matter how sad it is to realize this.
24-18 = 6 hours.
You only have 6 hours left for life outside of work.
No matter how pleasant the work is, sooner or later you get tired of it. At some point you begin to understand that it no longer brings the joy that it brought before.
But you have to work. So it turns out that we often spend a lot of time in a place that we either don’t like or simply doesn’t bring much joy. This cannot but affect the 6 hours that remain for us personally.
The more “unhappy” we are at work, the less joy we bring to the time we have left for ourselves. Because there is no strength to rejoice. We forget how it's done. And returning this joy is not so easy. Depression can arise in a week, and to get out of it, it will take about two to three months of working with a psychotherapist.
Let's find joy together! You can find it, you just need to know where.
We define the “weak link”. The weak link is the place where your energy disappears and life becomes like darkness. In fact, this place is not the whole “work”, but only part of it. It may be more, less, but only a part. How to understand what kind of link this is? There aren't that many of them. And if I missed something, you are free to add your own points.
Schedule. Too dense, too hard, or none at all. Well, that is, it seems to exist, but you don’t have time to do everything at this time, and your working day turns into a working day. Or you need to arrive too early. Or it's too late to leave. Or it does not coincide with your spouse’s schedule, the work schedule of the kindergarten, school, or sections for which your child is enrolled. Or... (write your inconveniences).
Think about it: if your schedule were different, you would have more joy and less dissatisfaction at work.
And think about what advantages such a schedule has. Do you still get something since you continue to work there? You get more done, you earn more... Make a list of such advantages.
Place of work. Far from home or too close. Noisy. Quiet. Not very environmentally friendly. Not aesthetically pleasing. It's inconvenient to get there - five transfers and then walking along gullies.
If it were somewhere else, would everything be fine? Or not?
Workplace. Now you are already at your workplace. How do you like it there? Maybe you don't have one at all. Or you share it with someone who is always shoving their sandwich into your papers. The furniture there is uncomfortable. Or the table is in such a cold place that you always have a cold. Too hot. Noisy. Unpleasant odors.
Work process. You don't like the work process itself. This is not what you dreamed of. Just the sight of it (papers, machines, computers, etc.) makes you want to run away. Or you like it in principle, but there are some nuances: a better machine, a more modern monitor and faster processors, not so many tasks from management and a little understanding that you have two hands, not four, and there are 24 hours in a day, not 48.
Payment. It seems to you that you are not paid as much as your work is worth. Too few. Or too much. Or irregularly. Or every time you don't know what you'll get - all or nothing. Your salary does not depend on your efforts. Or it depends, but also on the mood of the boss, who can issue a bonus or impose a fine.
Result. You don't see the results of your work. This is a typical problem when working with people who come and go, and we do not know what their fate will be next. Or the result of the work is not valued. Or no one understands how much effort you put into your work. Other people may not see the result of your work or may not know that you contributed to it.
Relationship. Everything seems to be fine at work, but the relationship is not working out. With whom exactly? Bosses. Colleagues. Clients. And how does this manifest itself? Think and make yourself a list of difficulties. Determine whether you have problems with all your bosses or just with someone specific. Are you dissatisfied with all your colleagues or just some? Are all clients always? Or only some and sometimes?
Justice. This is a topic that involves payment for work, relationships, and results. You work in a team and know who is doing their job and how. And you know how you work. You also know how your work and (sometimes) the work of your colleagues are paid. American psychologist J. S. Adams first described how we compare our contributions to work and their rewards, as well as the contributions of colleagues and their rewards. And if there is an imbalance - someone works less and gets more, or vice versa, then internal tension arises, a drop in motivation, and an unwillingness to work. By the way, here is the key to understanding the low interest in work among civil servants.
We balance our capabilities and desires for change. This was a short list of problem areas that you can add to. Its main task is to help you localize the problem, limit the cons with a palisade to put them together and sort them out. Because otherwise they scatter all over the field, and it seems that all the work is not a joy... But it turns out that it’s not all the work, but one thing! And it’s easier to deal with this one thing than with everything else!
If you notice several things that take away the joy from work, think about what category they fall into: “I can change it” or “I can’t change it.” Please note: it often seems that something cannot be changed, but in reality everything is different!
Therefore, even if it seems that you can’t, try. Sometimes, to change something in the external world, you need to start with internal changes. Then the perspective will change and you will be able to see everything in a new light.
And although it seems that work on changes should start with the “cons”, with the “problems”, this is not so. You don’t yet have the strength to solve the problem itself. First you need to gain strength. Before you dive into the depths with scuba gear, you need to learn how to use it.
We are looking for resources! We create resources!
To search for resources, let's pick up a crystal. Not a simple one, but a N. Pezeshkian crystal. The crystal is very simple, but its simplicity is its genius.
Four areas of life that simultaneously serve as both a source of resources and their sinks. Draw this crystal for yourself and imagine that you have one hundred percent vital energy. Distribute it between these four areas.
Now look where the most energy goes?
As a rule, to work!
And where is the least?
Typically on the body.
Important note: the most “exhausted” area of life often turns out to be the most resourceful if you start paying attention to it!
Body. Our body is a resource of enormous power. As a matter of fact, it contains the brain, don’t forget about it. Without a normally functioning body, the brain cannot survive for long, and, as a result, depression, loss of motivation, and loss of meaning in life. Therefore, we begin to take care of ourselves.
The first is physical activity. Do what you want and how you want. You can download video lessons, you can run, you can jump. The main thing is to start little by little and let the sweat come out. If you want to skip it after a week (and you will, that’s for sure), say “no” and drag yourself out of bed. Monitor your condition while charging. At first sleepy, it will gradually wake up, colors will appear around, strength will begin to flow into the body. Give yourself a tick for such an increase in strength. This is something that was difficult to achieve with morning coffee and other things.
At first, the body may be indignant - it is not used to it. Do you know how much has accumulated: salts, waste, fats; it will all start to appear. There may be a slight deterioration in the condition, but it is temporary and this is normal. During charging, dizziness, stomach pain and other symptoms may occur. If they bother you, then stop there, don’t break yourself, move gradually. Tomorrow you will do more.
The second is nutrition. Your brain requires adequate nutrition to function properly. It consumes 20% of the entire body's energy, despite weighing only 2% of body weight! And you feed him once a day, in the evening, because you didn’t have time in the morning, at lunchtime you don’t have time... Where does he get the strength from? It is like an engine that is supplied with gasoline intermittently. Will it be able to work properly? No!
If it is difficult to organize this on your own, look for a good nutritionist who will help you create a nutrition plan.
Remember about fluids: in the heat of work, we often forget to drink, limiting ourselves to a cup of coffee or tea at lunch. You need to drink a lot, and good quality water! After two to three days, you will notice how your headache and fatigue gradually go away. Try it!
Third - fresh air. Give yourself a chance to breathe. At any opportunity, get away from the office, into the cold, rain or snow! Away from smoking rooms and enclosed spaces without ventilation. Say yes to drafts! What if the office is in the city center? It doesn’t matter, and you can find places where there is fresh air.
Fourth - amenities. Give your body pleasures - what it likes: massage, peeling, bathhouse, sex, walks... Make a list of what you like, and go ahead, add it to your life. If you want a cake, give yourself permission to make it a kind of victory ritual. End of the week - a trip to your favorite cafe. If you can’t, but really want to, then sometimes you can.
Fifth - mode. This is the answer to the question of where to find time for all this. We’ll talk more about the routine a little later, but for now, think about what you can remove from your daily routine so that you have time for important things. Maybe an extra hour in front of the TV. Maybe an extra round of tanks. Maybe a meeting you don’t want to go to.
Activity. What can be done if it takes so much energy? Remember the hundred percent? If you add energy to your body, there will be less energy in your activities. Does this mean that activity will suffer? Not at all. On the contrary, you will be able to do everything better and faster. Because I have more strength, my brain has started to work as it should, gasoline has appeared!
Success is very important for work. The feeling of success gives strength. Look at your work and answer: “What have you done that you can praise yourself for?” No, don't compare yourself to anyone. And with my former self too. Then and now are, as they say, two big differences. It doesn’t matter if the success is small, tell yourself: “Yes, I succeeded!” Suppose you managed to put the folder in the closet correctly, write down the patient’s illness code, not be late for work, just show up to work. Look for your successes, good luck and put them in your piggy bank. Better yet, write it down in a notepad. Look through it in the evening and tell everyone: “Yes, this is good!”
You will see how day after day it will become easier and simpler for you. As your successes grow, so will your mood.
Rest is important for work! Especially after work. Yes, there are times when it seems like you only need to think about work! But if you think about it all the time, you will not have the strength to solve the problem. And no solution will come. So try putting your work on pause. When leaving work, look around. Listen to the sounds around you. Look at people's faces. Read a book. Listen to music. Dream about meeting your loved one.
Communication, traditions. We communicate everywhere, including at work. This area is communication not about work. Maybe at work, but not about her. This is communication with friends, relatives, neighbors, loved ones, children. See if you have enough energy in this area? Or is it worth adding? Or turn it down? After all, there can be too much communication, sometimes you want silence and loneliness.
If it is not enough, think why? No time? Or not with anyone? Or both?
Review your phone list. Maybe there is still a person you would like to see? Try calling him. Or write.
If there is a lot of communication, think about whether you need that much? If you want to reduce, make a list of contacts and decide who is not really needed in your life? Who takes time and energy without bringing anything in return? What will change if you spend less time with this person and say: “Sorry, I can’t do it today - I just don’t want to”?
Fantasies, values, spirituality. In the heat of daily life, we often forget why we actually work. Like is good. And if not, then perhaps there was some purpose? Dream? Wish? Which?
Fantasy is the same as a compass for a ship. Without it, you can get lost and swim and swim, circling in one place until you run out of water and supplies. Or until it washes ashore on some island.
Remember your dreams. What are they about?
You can just lie down and dream, let go of your fantasy, let it float according to the will of the wind. Now write down all your fantasies and try to rewrite them as goals. Think about whether your work brings you closer to these goals? And what can be done to make it closer?
Sometimes fantasies seem to live a separate life. Watch the movie The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. It's about a man who fantasizes about everything, but does little to make his fantasies come true. At some point everything changes, but I'm talking about something else. That sometimes it’s worth working with dreams and turning them into goals. And then they will become a real and strong resource. “Reification” and planning help with this. “Reification” - writing down goals, hanging photographs or pictures of them, pinning flyers. Planning is a more labor-intensive process. Having turned a dream into a goal, we think about what needs to be done to achieve it, and we get several smaller goals that are already more achievable. And so on, until we reach what can be done today: go to bed earlier, wake up earlier, kiss the child, look for a tour operator.
We create rituals and change rituals. Rituals help you find a sense of ground under your feet, solid ground from which you can push off. The main thing in the ritual is to do it with feeling, with sense, with arrangement. Let it be for a few seconds, but with full dedication.
A ritual can be something completely ordinary, but it helps you wake up, get ready, tune in, think. The same cup of morning coffee, but brewed not in a hurry, but with pleasure in the smell, color, sound of grinding grain; drinking not in one sip, but in small sips, each of which you will fully experience, feeling how the taste changes, how the aftertaste does not let go of your tongue for a long time. You can drink and watch the waking world, watch it for just a few minutes, but these minutes will give you more strength than caffeine itself.
A ritual could be coming to work, meeting smiling colleagues, having morning tea and talking about life.
Take a closer look at your life: where can you find a place for ritual?
And also: maybe there are unproductive rituals that interfere?
In the morning you run out of the house so as not to be late for the minibus. It's a ritual, but does it give you a feeling of joy? Try walking or cycling. In the evening you come and sit in front of the TV. Does this really relax you? Try taking a shower and cooking something from oriental cuisine; buy “growing crystals” on the way home and grow them with your son; take out the dusty chess box and play a game with your wife.
Eliminate unproductive rituals, replace them with new, useful ones!
Let's normalize the regime. By changing your routine, you can find time for rituals, for your body, and for much more.
Daily regime. Look at when you go to bed and how you wake up. If you have problems with this, first, by force of will, start going to bed earlier than usual. At least an hour earlier. At first it will be difficult to fall asleep, since the body is already accustomed to living in a different rhythm, but in a few evenings it will readjust. And you will begin to get enough sleep, and perhaps even wake up before your alarm clock. If you wake up early, get up, don’t get enough sleep, pull yourself out of bed, even if it’s a day off. Oversleeping like this will cause more harm than getting up early. Also normalize your diet. One meal a day is not food, get away from this way of life. I have had clients who were able to be pulled out of depression in two or three weeks by simply adjusting their diet. Try it. It won’t be easy at first either, but if you’ve done your morning exercises, your body will be ready to have breakfast. Eat what you love, what tastes good. If you don't like oatmeal, don't, look for your morning product. Even if it’s borscht, if you like it, so be it.
Week mode. It just so happens that the days are organized into weeks. They also have their own rhythm, their own cycles. It is very important to give yourself rest - active, saturating with strength, and not taking away them. Trips to the castles of Ukraine, trips to swimming pools and water parks, walks in the forest and games on the street - this is what you should do to fill your day off.
Let this also be a ritual. You will immediately understand how good it is, how it renews you. Besides, it's a great topic for conversation. You can bring other people into your hobby, and you will have a support team. And relationships in the team will definitely improve. You will become closer and more interesting to each other.
Month mode. Also try to do something special every month: fast, go to the mountains, skydive, go to the sauna. This will be a thread for you that will help you hold on if suddenly your joy is lost again.
We change something around us. So we have come to changes in the outside world. Let's start with the workplace. What could you improve about it? What to add and what to remove?
Write a list. Next to each item, write down who it depends on. Start with those that depend only on you. For example, clean your desk, sort your papers, rearrange your desk. Any change you make will work for you, instill confidence in yourself, and give you a sense of control over your life.
If not everything depends on you, talk to your colleagues. Perhaps someone doesn’t care about the noise; it still works with headphones? Is someone hardened and not afraid of drafts? Discuss, try!
In the end, if you've tried everything and there's no increase in joy, maybe you should change your job?
The doorbell rang. I didn't want to open it at all. All day she either cried or calmed down. Her eyes are probably completely red... Having somehow tidied herself up, she went to the door.
Yarik, their courier, stood there. He sometimes took the papers from her, they exchanged two or three words... Why is he doing this?
Hello! - he smiled. - I was sent to check on you.
Well, how am I? - she asked, standing on the threshold and not inviting him further.
Yes, to be honest, no way... - he said. - I'm coming now!
He left, she closed the door. But a couple of minutes later the bell rang again and she automatically opened the door. Yarik was there again, but already with a package in his hands.
Can I come in?
Well come in...
Where's the kitchen?
There... - She waved her hand deeper into the apartment.
He took off his shoes and jacket and walked with the package in the indicated direction. She followed him, not understanding anything and not really wanting to understand. And Yarik was already putting the kettle on and unpacking what he had brought.
Is there a toaster?
Half an hour later she was sitting at the table with him and devouring sandwiches with caviar, washing them down with some stunningly delicious tea. Its aroma hung in the air, filled the entire kitchen and then did not dissipate for a long time.
I take it you're covered? - he asked.
Seems to be yes…
The boss said that you can stay at home for a couple of days. And I… Can I drop by tomorrow, check on you, maybe buy something tasty?
It’s wonderful when everything is fine both in the family and at work. It is well known that these areas of our lives are closely interconnected. But in recent years, many of us, without knowing it, have found ourselves in a vicious circle: home - nervous disorder - work - nervous disorder - home... And the point is not that family life has become unbearable. The root cause of all domestic battles and disappointments is an unloved job.
Two models of emotional attitude to work
Favorite work is not a burden, it does not torment us. Although fatigue comes after it, it is “healthy”. Rest is pleasant, because it is also accompanied by satisfaction from the achieved result. Work done with a sense of meaninglessness is always boring, difficult and sometimes causes an aggressive mood. Rest in this case turns into “chewing” negative emotions. This daily struggle with oneself, which requires a lot of willpower, often ends in defeat - loss of mental balance, a nervous breakdown.
On the one hand, work is “earning your daily bread by the sweat of your brow,” on the other hand, it is a pleasant manifestation of personal creative abilities. This dual attitude towards work persists in any type of activity. The work of each of us is financially rewarded, that is, it serves as a means of achieving certain life goals. The work of each of us makes it possible to realize creative potential, to change part of the environment according to our own plan, according to our own model, regardless of what material is used for reshaping - a blank sheet of paper, marble in our hands, or people who need to be educated, taught, treated...
It’s great if a person manages to combine in his mind these two models of emotional attitude to work all his life or for a long time. If someone begins to complain about the difficulty of work, doubts its necessity, negatively evaluates the fruits of their activity, and does not see the need to expend their efforts on achieving some result, then we can safely say: this person has violated the necessary proportion of both aspects of work. As a rule, in this case, fertile ground arises for the development of neurosis, and women are more susceptible to it.
In what cases are we in danger of experiencing a sense of the meaninglessness of work?
This feeling may appear even before starting work, when the chosen profession does not meet internal interests. A woman only hopes to receive a reward for the work done “by the sweat of her brow”, excluding personal emotional satisfaction. A negative mood aggravates emerging fatigue and stimulates a woman to change her occupation. It’s good if she manages to mobilize forces for professional reorientation in time.
Neurotic manifestations are also possible in the case when a woman is forced to discard her existing plan of action and is obliged to implement someone else’s task, which is contrary to her interests and desires. Such a conflict requires the ability to give in and adapt to people and circumstances. When the yielding side regularly feels like a loser, then nothing good can be expected. An emotional breakdown, overt or hidden, is inevitable.
If someone spends a lot of physical or intellectual effort, but receives a meager reward for his work, then he naturally becomes irritated. Effort and reward must be balanced in each person's mind. When there is an imbalance, strong negative emotions are sure to arise: from the desire to quit such work to the destruction of the results of what has already been done. If such disharmony drags on, then it is urgent to change your place of service.
Sometimes a woman who feels tension every day and lives in a constant rush cannot rest properly for a long time. Fatigue is clearly felt, although when summing up the results of the past day, it turns out that very little has been done. On the one hand, she wants to free herself from the burden of fatigue, on the other hand, she cannot find time for proper rest. While waiting for better times, planning to one day start living for real, a woman violates the main development trends of her body and causes complications of the autonomic-endocrine system.
A neurotic emotional state also occurs when at work a woman daily experiences a feeling of guilt due to severe criticism or a feeling of envy towards potential rivals. These destructive feelings overload the nervous system, sometimes directing aggression not at colleagues, but against itself. A team in which a person is constantly wary, accused or underestimated, he needs to leave.
The other side of the coin
In recent years, each of us has had a real chance of finding something to our liking. Various educational institutions and advanced training courses, newfangled professions that have emerged and the right to start your own business, special literature and psychological training guarantee us the prerequisites for success and prosperity. However, it is in modern society that the feeling of lost opportunities and the sense of meaninglessness of work arise more often and become more bitter.
Psychologists consider this paradoxical phenomenon to be natural, characteristic of a society with a high economic and cultural level of development. In countries with a limited choice of profession, women do not have any complaints about getting another job, since it is simply impossible, just as there is no time and energy to reveal all potential abilities, to think about unrealized plans, to experience negative emotions due to the meaninglessness of their work.
It turns out that we all know well theoretically: you have to pay for everything. Sometimes - painful emotional experiences. Maybe they are what make us human. However, when natural episodic dissatisfaction with oneself and one’s business turns into a kind of syndrome or complex, an effort of will should be made to destroy the causes of its occurrence. It's never too late to reconsider your attitude towards your chosen profession, position, or change them.
Time pressure at work “gives itself away”
What to do? The first solution that comes to mind is to change jobs. You may be afraid of losing your position, and with good reason. Besides, who can guarantee that it will be easier in the new place? So before you leave, try to understand yourself.
First, try to understand the underlying reasons for your worries. Change your attitude towards work: don’t hold on to it like a drowning man holding on to a straw - after all, changes can be beneficial.
Try using some techniques to get rid of a painful condition:
1. Try to focus not on the results of work, but on the process of work itself.
2. Perform your job duties to the best of your ability so that management does not have any temptation or reason to criticize you.
3. Observe yourself and determine which emotional actions and situations throw you out of balance. Take note of these traumatic moments and try to deal with them calmly.
The attractiveness of a hobby is undeniable; first of all, it lies in the fact that a hobby makes a person the master of his position. You do what you love, it gives you the opportunity for complete relaxation and true satisfaction, as opposed to necessary work done against your desires. Despite the fact that the effort expended is devoted to some private matter that has no significant significance for others, even considered meaningless by someone, achieving a certain goal is excitingly interesting for you. For example, adding a rare postcard or a unique glass vase to your collection brings you indescribable delight. It is no less pleasant to collect a bouquet of dried plants or knit a sweater for a loved one.
Everyone who has a hobby has to overcome a certain resistance of the “material” and fight their own inertia and laziness. After conquering oneself, a certain object, according to the creative plan and will of the creator, turns from a formless mass into a form consistent with beauty. This beauty becomes a part of the creator, who managed to bring his own order into what seemed to be chaos. A hobby is also work, but creative work, an act of creation. Perhaps, although not fully consciously, we understand that every effort invested in a hobby constitutes our contribution to the universal fund of culture.
Hello my loves! My name is Anna, I'm thirty-three years old and I'm from Yekaterinburg. And I want to consult with you about solving one problem in my life. It is work related. But I will tell you everything in order - everyone here does it, and I will not be an exception.
Anna Kopylova, Ekaterinburg
I am an economist by profession. She graduated from school in her native Yekaterinburg and immediately entered college. I reasoned that an accountant is a type of activity that will always be in demand by employers. But higher education will also come in handy - both in your professional career and in life in general.
After graduating from university, I realized that I had made the right decision: I found a job quickly. I wasn’t capricious, I wasn’t chasing a big salary - I understood that I first needed to gain experience. Therefore, I got a job in a small company on a fairly small salary. But there was a lot to learn here. And when I realized that I wouldn’t learn anything more in terms of advanced training, I went to work for a bigger company. After another three years, I got a job in a large company: here, although the position was not so prestigious, the salary was excellent, and it was still possible to gain experience and knowledge.
This is how I worked for quite a long time. But three years ago - and this was already a time when vacancies were tight and salaries were being cut - I was offered an interesting place. The company is not that big, but the salary is excellent. And, as I reasoned, there is an opportunity for career growth.
True, my friend, who left there, admitted honestly: the team is so-so. I remember this alarmed me: I “interrogated” her about this for a long time. But she reassured me: they say, no intrigues, gossip and other things. It’s just that there are practically no young people, there is no one to chat with. But she, they say, worked calmly - they pay well, they don’t hold you back after the end of the shift, the management is also quite loyal.
In general, I thought and thought and agreed. At first everything went just fine: when the salary becomes much higher, it’s always nice, especially for a woman. I'm not married yet, so I support myself. And my parents are already retired - I need help. So any extra penny comes in handy.
If at my previous job I simply had enough to live on, then at my current job I began to allow myself to go to the cinema and theater more often, buy beautiful things, I even vacation not in the region, as before, but go to resorts, often abroad. Well, what can I tell you: money is always good. Especially when they are earned in one place, and not at three jobs: this way there is still free time.
You ask me: what problem could I have then? But I’ve just come to this. As I already wrote, our team consists of women of pre-retirement age. Of course, they are also different, but in our company they are like real grandmothers! Therefore, any innovation is not at all for us. Sometimes it seems to me that if the company had opened when there were no accounting programs yet, we wouldn’t even use computers!
On the one hand, many may think: what difference does it make? But this is not true!
There are so many new things now, so many technologies that improve and optimize the workflow! But our “old ladies” don’t want to hear anything about it. Not only is this terribly annoying - if only because a lot could be done much faster and better. So after all, this would also be a saving!
The most interesting thing is that our director, who is also the owner of the company, is a fairly young man, only three years older than me. And he also doesn’t want to hear anything about process optimization - he says he’s happy with everything. Like, why change anything when everything works the way it is?
And I'm terribly tired of these retro rules! We could send half of the “grandmothers” to retire, hire two or three young specialists, purchase normal programs and work calmly. I would love to take the position of chief accountant, but it seems that it never shines for me here - when the boss left a year ago, another old woman was put in her place, and not even from our department - they found a new one.
How to convince your boss that you need to move on? After all, this will help our company develop. I just can’t imagine what to do! I even started thinking about quitting, but I understand that this is stupid - where else can I find a job with such a good salary?
Perhaps you will say that I am capricious and invent problems. But actually it is not! If the boss had listened to me, he would have seen how much better it would be! And then he would probably offer me career growth - after all, that’s how it’s done, right?
Please tell me what is the right thing to do, how to “get through” to the manager? Or maybe I should really look for another place? It’s difficult, but what if I get lucky and find it?