How to control your desires. How can you control your desires? Of course, everyone reacts differently to stressful situations and the negative desires associated with them. But there are people who seem to create an atmosphere of stability around themselves. AND

Hello, dear blog readers! No matter how fantastic it may seem, the fulfillment of desires with the power of thought is quite real and feasible, you just need to know the subtleties and nuances, both in principle and in every matter.

Rules

1. Awareness of your desire

You must clearly understand what exactly you want. It seems to sound ridiculous, but mostly people make mistakes directly in this place. If you have identified the image of your desire, you should give it as much shape as possible. Think through even the slightest nuances in order to specify and clarify.

Therefore, a visualization method is used, which you can read about. In addition to the fact that it becomes clearer to the Universe what needs to be materialized, it also gives a hint to the subconscious. He needs to be guided in order to take steps directly in favor of his plans when making any decisions. It’s also useful because it helps you understand in the future that what you want has come true, it’s like an internal litmus test.

Do you know those stories when a person longs for something, and spends a lot of time and energy searching, to the point that he goes on long solo trips or leaves the city or country for a long time? And then something happens to him, and he realizes that what he had been looking for all his life turned out to be very close, “under his nose,” and he simply didn’t notice? For example, a girl is looking for love, gets disappointed, despairs, and then it turns out that the same one is her classmate or childhood friend, in whom she had not particularly noticed the male part before. I noticed it when I tried relationships with different men. I gained experience and began to understand what exactly I wanted in my life, that there are no ideal people, and so on. The image became very specific and detailed.

2.Formulations without using the particle “not”

The fact is that the subconscious, and consciousness too, do not take this particle into account, which is why what was most feared or avoided usually comes true. In addition, usually a person understands better what he doesn’t want, because it’s easier, and it takes less energy to realize. You can even conduct an experiment with your friends by asking two questions: “What do you dislike most?” and “What do you like most?” and, by comparing which of them you will get more answers, and more detailed ones.

3.Time frame

It is also necessary to formulate it in the present tense, as if it has already come true, and you are the happy owner of a dream. You just need to wait a little and make an effort. Otherwise, execution will be delayed indefinitely. It is also important to set a clear time limit. In general, if you want your dream to come true quickly, set realistic deadlines that the Universe and you will definitely meet.

4.Financial situation

I recommend asking directly for what you will receive with money. Because there is a risk that you will receive them again in a different way than you wanted, and will bring more losses than benefits. Even a banal insurance payment in connection with an injury at work or in the event of an accident. It’s better not to take risks, and if you want money, use the recommendations of Valery Kharlamov, which you will find in the article about.

5.Energy should be conserved

Don’t waste it, devoting a lot of attention to thinking about it every day, and especially don’t worry and worry about when everything will finally happen and how it will be then. Therefore, as soon as you have formulated, set a goal, a time frame and identified tasks to complete, let go of this desire, leaving space for the Universe to work.

6.Priorities

We are all living people and have a crazy bunch of ideas and fantasies in our heads, but remember – you should visualize one at a time, otherwise there will be chaos. Until the one wished for first comes true, it is forbidden to move on to others. As a last resort, it is possible to overlap desires from different areas, just so that they do not contradict each other.

7. Circle of initiates

Try to hold back and not share your plans with anyone. It is not for nothing that a sign about the evil eye appeared among the people. Talking about our goals really moves us away from achieving them. And it’s not a matter of mysticism at all. The problem is that we waste a lot of energy while we explain the nuances, and that not everyone around us knows how to cope with their envy, which is why they may try to hinder you or devalue the idea itself. Unfortunately, in real life it happens that even their own parents do not always wish the best for their children, so be careful in choosing those people whom you decide to share in details.

8.Environmentally friendly goals

A very important rule - your idea should in no way be associated with causing harm to someone close or acquaintances. The danger is that you will have to deal with the consequences. The law of the Universe is to do no harm, otherwise the evil you plan will come back to you many times more. So, at least for the sake of your safety, for the sake of the safety of your parents or children, under no circumstances introduce illness, lack of money and other negativity to other people.

9.Execution tools

When thinking over a dream, be sure to clarify the moment with the help of what and how it should come true. That is, you will be given a promotion because you will hand in a project that you will complete and present at the highest level. You will have an apartment because you work hard and save, connect to passive income resources, and so on. The fact is that the Universe doesn’t care how to materialize your desire if you haven’t given a hint on how exactly it should be fulfilled. And then a side effect is likely to occur, for example, in the form of the death of a close and beloved relative, after which the apartment will be inherited. And then the thought may arise that it would be better if this living space did not exist, if only this person were alive. And thoughts have energy, remember? Therefore, at one moment thieves break into the house or a fire occurs. Dream fulfilled! So be careful and attentive in your “wants”.

10. Deal with your fears

You won’t believe it, but there is practically no person who would not want to have a lot of money. But for some reason many of them treat rich people with contempt, considering them greedy, inhuman, cruel, and so on. So how then will they become rich if they are afraid of it? It’s rare for a person to strive for such a characteristic consciously, right? So don't forget to think about what will change once you get what you want. What will you become, how will your relationships with others and at work change? Weigh all the pros and cons, perhaps thanks to this you will understand why nothing has come true so far and what exactly are the true obstacles?

11. Engage in spiritual practices

Meditation will have a positive effect not only on your well-being and health, but will also help you get what you want as quickly as possible. But because it teaches us to concentrate attention and achieve the state that is used in alpha visualization. Check out the details. It’s also a good idea to learn how to breathe correctly in order to bring maximum benefit to our body; the main effective techniques are described in the article.

12.Actions

Don’t forget that you shouldn’t just relax and wait, you must make an effort to get closer to what you planned, at least one small step at a time. Every evening, give yourself a so-called reflection, that is, remember what exactly you did today to make your plans come true faster. It doesn’t have to be something large-scale, even meeting a person who will subsequently help at least with advice, sharing experience, is already an achievement.

Zealand's reception

Vadim Zeland is the founder of such a movement as “reality transurfing”; he described one interesting method, in which you can apply your practical knowledge and experiment. It’s called “Glass of Water,” and for good reason, because the main role is played by a glass of water. Preferably thawed, in extreme cases, you can pour spring water.

Take a sheet of paper and write down your cherished dream, as accurately and succinctly as possible. Place a glass on it and place your palms on your sides, concentrating on your sensations. When you feel warmth in your hands, say out loud what you wrote, slowly, feeling confident that it will work and that your plan will soon come true. It would be a good idea to use a visualization method in combination. The number of times is not limited, as soon as you realize that it’s enough and it’s time to stop, just drink this water.

Instructions

If at an early age a person can still allow himself to do as he wants, without particularly worrying about the consequences, then by the time he grows up, he usually already needs to be able to limit his desires and needs. Children who grow up in an atmosphere of permissiveness and parental love find it difficult to realize that in the adult world their desires do not play a primary role, and this discovery can cause serious stress.

As a rule, the degree of personal maturity directly depends on how much a person knows how to control his desires and is able to abandon them in favor of something. The easiest way to learn this is to find yourself in a situation where opportunities and resources are limited by objective circumstances. However, such an experience can be quite painful, so it will be much more practical to master the art of controlling needs on your own initiative, and not under the influence of troubles.

First of all, you need to realize the unpleasant but obvious fact that no person, including you, is the center of the universe. The maximum you can count on is a certain circle of people for whom your desires really matter. Moreover, each of these people also has a whole set of needs that may be more important to him than yours. However, when you look inside yourself, you will realize that you yourself treat other people’s desires in exactly the same way.

In addition to objective circumstances, your desires may be hampered by the contradictory aspirations of other people. Up to a certain point, this contradiction may be invisible, but sooner or later the opposition will become noticeable, and you will have to either go ahead, no matter what, or give up your goal. Naturally, the second option in most cases turns out to be a more balanced and correct decision.

A good way to learn to subordinate your desires is to be able to evaluate not only the obvious consequences of your actions, but also how they will affect your future. Perhaps a sober assessment of the prospects will help you take a different look at a fleeting need, forcing you to reassess its significance.

Please note that the sooner you can control your desires, the more disappointments and troubles you will avoid. A great option to bring a little order and control into your life is to create a monthly budget and manage your schedule. When you learn to plan your spending and free time in advance, it will be much easier for you to convince yourself to give up something desired, but objectively unprofitable.

Competent and clear goal setting is the key to success in several areas of life. Career, improvement of your own spirit and mind, relationships with the opposite sex depend on you, and not on external circumstances. Man is not only the creator of his own destiny, but in some way a magician. If you want any, at first glance completely crazy, wish to come true, achieve it yourself.

People often complain that their desires and dreams do not come true at the same speed and in the form in which they were intended. Have you been looking for a suitable job for a long time, but only unattractive and low-paid vacancies come across? Tired of being overweight, but don't have the willpower to get rid of it? Do you envy the family happiness of your girlfriends or friends because you only come across “mama’s boys” and unemployed losers or bitches and grabbers? Learn to dream correctly - and nothing will be impossible for you!

Realize the everydayness and reality of your own dreams if you want them to come true

What is a dream? Essentially, it is a certain state of mind that you strive to achieve. A well-paid job will give you a strong sense of self-worth and raise your self-esteem. You are looking for the perfect man or woman because you want to feel loved or loved. A dream is just a unique way to experience the emotion that you urgently need at the moment. Change your attitude towards this concept so that it no longer seems weightless and unrealizable to you. Only then will your own desires and aspirations become real for you.

Every day, move towards your dreams, even in small steps.

Once you set a goal, be sure to create a plan to achieve it that you will stick to. Don't wait for miracles, someone's help and advice - start acting right now! Do you want to relax in Bali, but you think that the income will not allow you to do this in the near future? Travel agencies charge a hefty percentage for their services. Choose a trip to a warm country yourself. Then calculate how much you need to save daily to buy it for your next vacation. “Split” the amount over several months. Dine in a cafe without overpaying in a restaurant for each cup of tea. Be patient and buy branded clothing at sales or in luxury stocks, and not in branded boutiques. Walk more often - this is incredibly useful, and it also allows you to save on taxis.

Don't be afraid of your own desires

Low self-esteem “slows down” the fulfillment of your dreams, no matter how complex or simple it may be. If you consider yourself a low-skilled worker who is not worthy of a high salary, you will never climb the career ladder. Work on yourself. Attend specialized trainings, communicate with experienced specialists, and feel free to propose creative ideas to your superiors. There is no need to sit in the corner and complain about your own fate.

Stop focusing on your own failures

On the way to your own dream, you may encounter problems (big or minor). Don’t be discouraged and don’t give up as soon as obstacles appear on your life’s path. Yes, I didn’t manage to get what I wanted right away. But this does not mean at all that it will not work out tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow. It’s better to reflect on the failure, take into account the mistakes of the past - and move forward, with new strength, towards the fulfillment of your desires!

Don't waste your time on trifles

The mistake of most dreamers is the inability to move towards a goal systematically, without regard to fleeting temptations. For example, let's say you want to buy an expensive coat. There is nothing left for you to turn your dream into reality. Anticipating a purchase, you go to the shopping center... Having seen shoes with a stunning discount in a store window, you buy them, completely forgetting about the major purchase that you have been planning for months. But, perhaps, it was quite possible to do without an extra pair of shoes, but alas, without a warm coat in winter. Therefore, if you feel an attack of shopaholism, feel free to beat yourself up and pass by things that attract you at an indecently low price.

Fight suspiciousness

As soon as they make a wish, timid people begin to doubt their own strengths, the importance of their own dreams and aspirations. Thus, some people who have suffered from loneliness for a long time begin to consider themselves unattractive. Having fallen in love, they subconsciously put themselves on a lower level compared to their partner. And they fall into the trap of their own suspiciousness, believing that they are unworthy of their loved ones. Relationships riddled with uncertainty are doomed to fail. The other half will sooner or later become imbued with your “ideas” and go in search of more self-confident partners.

If you want to achieve something, throw away all kinds of “buts” and “suddenly”. Start every morning with special auto-training. Say your desires out loud in front of the mirror. At the same time, imagine in detail the appearance of the object of desire - a car, a new TV or an ideal partner. Visualization will put you in the right mood.

When making a wish, don't be greedy. Human nature is so insatiable that fulfilling one dream is usually not enough. Do you want everything at once? Don’t lose what you have in the pursuit of illusory happiness. Be grateful to fate for its gifts.

Question for psychologists

My family life lasted only 2 years. At first everything was fine, we didn’t need anything: we lived in the city center in our apartment, he worked, I was in my last year of study, I gave birth. There are no limits to happiness! But then everything changed overnight. He started raising his hand and became aggressive. Of course, I can’t say that I was a saint, I also began to move away from him, I stopped respecting him, understanding him, and, in principle, how can you understand a person who beats you for no reason. I asked and begged more than once, somehow trying to save the family. But unfortunately it didn’t work out. And in the end we got divorced. It’s been a little over a year now, I’ve been working, raising a child, my parents are helping somewhere, I’m living life to the fullest, I feel good. But I just can’t decide on a new relationship, I can’t get close to the opposite sex. Well, as you understand, I haven’t had sex for over a year. I now began to feel that my body is starting to demand sex. Sometimes the thought comes to me that I just blindly sleep with someone, but I just can’t, it doesn’t work out, I don’t know how to do that. And on top of that, my ex-husband showed up. You see, it’s hard for him without a family, supposedly now he just understood everything, realized it. That's why exactly at this moment my hormones are playing?? So what should I do?? How can you control your needs? When I meet my ex-husband, I am afraid that I will not be able to contain my desires, my needs. And I’m afraid this will ruin my whole life. I do not like him. I don't see my future with him. Give me some advice. How can you convey to a person that he is no longer needed? And how can you control your desires?

Received 5 pieces of advice - consultations from psychologists, to the question: How can you control your desires?

How can you convey to a person that he is no longer needed?

Talk to your husband about yourself, your feelings and desires - in the “I am messages” format.

Read about how to do this here: http://psiholog-dnepr.com.ua/for-the-family/school-partnership/message

At the same time, remember that you have every right not to explain anything to anyone, not to prove anything and to do as you see fit, that is, to live your life according to your own understanding, in accordance with “Assertive Human Rights.”

Read about it here: http://psiholog-dnepr.com.ua/be-your-own-therapist/diary-confidence

And how can you control your desires?

The more you control them, the more they (your desires) will manifest themselves, based on the fact that “the force of action is equal to the force of reaction”...

Desires must be allowed to be...

And to achieve what you want, do something, removing obstacles:

I can’t decide on a new relationship, I can’t get close to the opposite sex

Hello Alena

I carefully read your letter and the phrase:

When I meet my ex-husband, I am afraid that I will not be able to contain my desires, my needs. And I’m afraid this will ruin my whole life. I do not like him. I don't see my future with him

one of the key ones and here's why:

You have been married for 2 years and still decided to get a divorce. At the same time, you somehow casually admitted that there were many mistakes and incorrect actions on your part. Despite the understanding that something went wrong between you, you decided to get a divorce. You are working now, your parents are helping, and for a year now you have not dated anyone at all and you have a sexual need.

Your husband again invites you to get together, promises that he has already understood and reviewed a lot. Of course, if your words “I don’t love him”, “I don’t see my future with him“thought out and not based on emotions, then of course, it’s no longer worth going back to the past just for the sake of getting sex.

You wrote that you just can’t date a man, and somehow this particular phrase caused more concern for you. It turns out that you are ready for a new relationship with another man only if he immediately asks you to marry him. But... you can again buy a pig in a poke, figuratively speaking? Maybe just now you will allow yourself the right to choose exactly the man with whom you could live together. First, you need to decide for yourself how you imagine him, what character qualities he should have, what obligations he will have to you and the child. The better idea you already have about your man, the easier it will be for you to find him. Otherwise, relying only If you make a serious offer, you risk making the wrong choice again. You have already been offered marriage and this was not enough to keep the family together, wasn’t it? It is unlikely that it will be possible to build long-term relationships only on the level of hormones. Sex is sex, but creating a family requires much more and mutual investment and Respect and Responsibility.

It would not be a bad idea to visit a psychologist and work together to find answers to many of your questions that you have, as well as to understand your beliefs and rules, of which you have quite a lot. Think about it. Best wishes.

Bekezhanova Botagoz Iskrakyzy, psychologist of Astana

Good answer 2 Bad answer 4

How can you convey to a person that he is no longer needed? And how can you control your desires?

In order to “convey” you only need one thing - your internal, stable position that you don’t need him as a man and you don’t want anything from him or with him. Only then will you be able to do it the way you want, no matter what words you use to say it. A man will just feel it!

As for desires, there are two options. The first and most important thing is to accept them and agree with your body that it will soon receive a release. While you cannot organize real detente for him, then organize, for example, detente through sports. In the gym, by the way, you can make new acquaintances with an interesting man.

Sincerely, Evgeniya

Evgenia Kislitsyna, psychologist in Almaty

Good answer 4 Bad answer 0

Hello Alena!

Rather than living with someone you don’t love, and even more aggressively, it’s better to use, say, masturbation.

And it’s hard to ignore desires. They can be switched. By the way, a person’s zone of sex and creativity are combined. Try to develop creativity and maybe it will help.

Trotsenko Natalya Yurievna, psychologist Vladikavkaz

Good answer 2 Bad answer 1

Second block.

You are afraid of new relationships. And you need, together with a psychologist, to find the deep sources of this reason. It’s possible that you are afraid of being a victim in a relationship, afraid of making mistakes again, etc.

Contact us personally for a consultation, during which your situation will be analyzed in detail and you will be able to get out of the box in which you have put yourself.

Ready to work with you.

All the best!

P.S. Your needs are quite natural. And there is no need to suppress them within yourself. It is necessary to form an internal readiness for a relationship, then you will come to the realization of your needs in a natural way, receiving attention, interest, and conquest of the man who deserves you.

Sincerely,

Snegireva Inna Vladimirovna, psychologist Astana

Good answer 4 Bad answer 0

001. Control of desires

People are accustomed to perceiving their desires as some kind of uncontrollable element. The proposal to change their desires is perceived by them in the only way: to give up “whims” (that is, suppress their desire) and force themselves to do something “necessary”.

Selection offers precisely the control of desires. Moreover, they are their own, and not those imposed by society - parents and teachers with the help of prohibitions, dogmatism, threats, superstitions, etc.

It turns out that you can not only distinguish your desires, determine which of them are experienced pleasantly, with anticipation (they are called joyful), and realize them, enjoying life, as suggested in the Selection of Attractive States. In addition, your desires can be strengthened or weakened, explored, separated from the desire for realization (refined), etc. and so on.

These tools open up enormous opportunities for increasing interest in life and its richness, because now you can make your joyful desires more intense, sustainable, so that your interests develop and strengthen. Do not torture, do not force yourself to learn something in fear of exams or self-condemnation, do not poison yourself with self-rape, but rather experience a strong, sustainable anticipation.

This is a completely new area of ​​the human psyche, which everyone has yet to discover, find the patterns of its functioning, learn to manage it, prepare a base of terms, find ways to manage desires, and solve emerging problems. This is a new branch of the evolution of the human psyche.

002. Desires of the first order. Acorn.

A first-order desire is what people are accustomed to calling desires: the desire to eat an apple, go for a walk, learn a few Japanese words, etc. These desires are aimed at changing surrounding circumstances, one’s physical or mental state, etc., but NOT at other desires.

An acorn is any first-order desire that is taken for research.

We select an acorn according to certain criteria:
*) medium intensity: not too strong (so that there is potential for its enhancement), but not too weak (otherwise it may disappear during manipulation)
*) easy to distinguish at the time of examination
*) not very significant

Don’t choose desires like “to become more sincere” or “to become more passionate”, because such desires have a large appendage of skeptics, negative emotions (NE), fears that will interfere with research. If this desire is not realized or simply disappears, there will be no significant changes in your life, it will not be emotionally charged. For example, the desire to go for a walk or read a book will do.
At the beginning of the study, it is advisable to choose those acorns that you want to strengthen; this facilitates the process of finding a new action for the psyche to strengthen desire.
It's worth getting yourself a whole basket of acorns, because different conditions may make it easier for one or another acorn to germinate.

Areas from which it is convenient to select acorns:
*) “simple experiences” (walking, lying on the grass in the sun, swimming, getting into a warm bath)
*) body development
*) reading books, popular science or fiction
*) grips not weighed down by obligations and psychopathy
*) communication
*) intellectual games (chess, bullshit, corners, etc.)
*) language learning

003. Second-order desires

A second-order desire is a desire directed at the acorn.

Examples of second order desires
*) desire to increase desire,
*) desire to explore desire,
*) desire to lure desires
*) desire to weaken desire
and so on.

A second-order desire can also become an object of desire, for example one might want to explore the desire to “increase the desire to read a book.”
When we grow, study, develop a second-order desire, at that moment we experience third-order desires, i.e. desires aimed at second-order desires.
There are actually quite a lot of second-order desires; you can learn to experience them, clearly distinguish them and use them only gradually, one after another. We should be prepared for the fact that these desires will be difficult to find, because to experience them it is necessary to brush away the cobwebs and mold from those areas of the brain that we have never used before. But having earned money once, they will begin to actively master more and more new desires of higher and higher orders. So you should resist and wait for the inevitable transition of the quantity of effort into their quality.
A desire of the nth (nth) order is a desire aimed at a desire of the n-1 (nth minus the first) order. For example, the desire to enhance a desire directed at the desire to explore a desire is a third-order desire.
For ease of use of animals often encountered in research, it is necessary to come up with short names for them, so as not to get bogged down in endless “desires ... desires.”

004. Desire to increase desire (zhuzh)

Zhuzh is the desire to intensify desire (second-order desire).
A ground beetle is a person who studies the buzz, introduces it into his mental world, trains to distinguish it, to use it to enhance those desires that he would like to experience more often and for longer.
Strengthening desires must be distinguished from “squeezing out”, accompanied by physical and mental stress. For this purpose, the practice of cyclical change of perceptions and other practices are used: these skills are taught in the “Selection Courses”.
Increasing desire through zhuzhs must be distinguished from “directly increasing desire” (i.e. by “remembering oneself in a state of stronger desire”) - this is also taught in the Courses, along with other critical skills.

005. Donkey, Snake, Bumblebee

Donkey - desire to weaken desire (second order).

It is very important to distinguish donkey from suppression of desire (a practical skill achieved through the practice of cyclic change). After the emergence of the donkey, the weakening of the acorn can be achieved by direct effort (jumping into a state of weaker desire) or as a result of the gradual influence of the donkey itself on the acorn.

Already - the desire to strengthen the desire to explore desire (third order).
Bumblebee - the desire to explore the desire to intensify the desire (third order).
It is possible that the bumblebee is the most important of the third-order desires. We realize this desire by exposing ourselves to various influences and at the same time observing how the zhuzh changes, analyzing the results.

006. Refined desires (raphs)

Refined desire (raf for short) is a joyful desire experienced without the desire for fulfillment. The emphasis is on experiencing pleasure from the experience of desire itself, the very process of wanting something, be it an object or a state or a relationship with someone, etc. etc., as well as in anticipation of postponing its implementation.
The verbal expression of such desires can be described as “I want to do this, but not now,” or “I just want to want,” or “I want, but I won’t.” These same phrases can be used to more clearly distinguish what refined desires are.
You cannot confuse the concepts of refined desire and desire, the implementation of which is impossible, or is surrounded by skeptics, etc.
You cannot mix roughs and fantasies: when fantasizing, it is clear in advance that implementation is either impossible or extremely unlikely. “I want to fly to Jupiter” is a fantasy, not a raf, because I am not able to imagine and do not imagine the specific steps with which such a trip can be organized, and one cannot postpone the “realization of a fantasy” with anticipation and experience pleasure from postponing the implementation. Unlike fantasy, with raf you can imagine the implementation in detail, but put it off because you want to experience the pleasures of the very process of wanting.
The difference between raff and self-deception is that with self-deception I only think that there is a desire, I am only sure that it is “right” to experience such a desire, but in fact it does not exist, and I do not want to realize it, and I have There is no anticipation from postponing implementation, but only relief that you don’t have to force yourself. If at some point you decide to realize an allegedly existing desire, then instead of enthusiasm and pleasure, only unpleasant states, tension, and NE will arise.

In the process of ordinary life, it happens that if the realization of a particular desire is difficult, then it is completely repressed and destroyed, so as not to become a source of various kinds of NE associated with the difficulty or impossibility of realization. This results in a catastrophic impoverishment of the psyche. Understanding this situation, you can allow rafs to exist, make them part of your sphere of desires, allow them to have a revitalizing, satiating influence on your psyche.
In addition, the totality of rafs can become a breeding ground from which new desires grow, including those whose implementation is possible and desirable.
To appreciate how much more extensive and developed the sphere of rafs can be than the sphere of plexes, you can think about how easy it is to feel the desire to fly to Antarctica, and how difficult it is to do this if you suddenly want it (even if you have the means). The implementation of complexes occurs slowly, piece by piece, and during this time you can test dozens, or even hundreds of roughs along the way.

007. Complex desires (plexes)

Complex desire (or “plex” for short) is a joyful desire, loaded/accompanied by the desire for its realization, i.e. both the desire and the desire to realize it are experienced simultaneously.
Any complex can be refined by direct effort, removing the desire for realization from it.
The task of clearly discerning, of being able to experience a refined desire, can be difficult, and it requires some practice (this is taught in courses).

Along with the distinction between joyful and mechanical desires, the distinction between rafs and plexes is completely new, unusual for modern people.

008. The expediency of refining desires

In the psyche of an ordinary person, raffs do not survive because they seem useless and do not lead to results. What's the point of wanting to learn English if I know that I don't want to take any specific actions for it? There seems to be no meaning, which means the desire can be forgotten or even suppressed.
Why, nevertheless, one may want to refine desires:

-) Sometimes it happens that some desires die due to burdens sticking to them in the form of dogmas about the obligation to experience them, perfectionism, fears of negative attitude from other people, etc. and so on. If the desire is refined, then it is freed from this burden and becomes again fresh, alive, filling your life with richness.
-) The psyche is saturated with various desires (without regard to the possibility or desirability of their implementation), which leads to its development both by enriching the emotional sphere and by increasing the topology of mutual influence of different perceptions from different spheres on each other.
-) You can collect desires, treat them as a menagerie of your psyche, or as a collection of crystals; you can re-read the lists, remember the pleasure from the very process of experiencing desires, accompany them with a positive attitude towards yourself, the anticipation that perhaps you will want to realize some of them in the future, etc.
-) Such desires can quickly become active if external or internal conditions suitable for this appear.
-) During refining, an alternative assessment of the quality and intensity of desires is possible, because when experiencing a plex, the desire for fulfillment, especially strong, often suppresses the discrimination of the qualities of the original rough.

009. Zhuzh and direct effort

The very fact of experiencing the zhuzh leads to the fact that the intensity of the acorn increases even without applying any additional effort to it.
If this does not happen, then the possible reason is either the lack of habit of testing it, or skeptics, attempts to squeeze it out, or that the zhuzh is too weak, etc. It is important to understand that strengthening the acorn in this case simply occurs from keeping attention simultaneously on the acorn and on the desire to strengthen it, therefore, another reason why such strengthening may not succeed at first is that either the acorn or the zhuzh falls out of attention.
There is another way to increase desire - more familiar than zhuzh. We call it "direct effort." We also use it - both to train the state of strong desire, and simply for the pleasure of shaking the usual framework in which our desires usually exist. To do this, we use the image of some situation when remembering ourselves in a state of strong desire. That is, with direct amplification, we do not use a trigger that triggers or intensifies desire, but rather “jump” into a state of strong desire, remembering this experience of such states that we have.
For example, in order to experience a strong desire to eat an apple, you can remember the apple in your hands, focusing on how juicy and tasty it is, and remember the very state of strong desire, to “jump” into it.
Of course, direct effort in generating a strong desire is also preceded by a zhuzh, which starts the process of applying direct effort, but in this case it only fulfills its role as a starter and does not itself have a direct effect on increasing the intensity of the acorn. In contrast, when we only use the zhuzh to strengthen the acorn and do not use direct force, the zhuzh appears continuously over a long time and has its own specific effect on strengthening the acorn.
The acorn intensifies in different ways depending on whether this occurs as a result of buzzing or direct effort. Zhuzh enhances the acorn more gently, laminarly, and the result of the influence of Zhuzh is more long-term.

010. Terms

*) Trim - the desire to halve a desire (halving does not mean “stopping the implementation exactly halfway.” You can stop when the desire is still strong, or when there are only 2-3 left. You can learn 3 or 8 words when you want 10).
*) Zhurr is a joyful desire for the realization of a desire.
*) Pong - training for alternately joining and detaching a jurr. Can start with a plex or with a rough.
*) Zhmur - a mechanical desire to realize a desire.
*) The gap is the time interval between the appearance of the buzz and the strengthening of the acorn. “Stuck in the crack” - experiencing a buzzing sound and not being able to discern the acorn's amplification.

011. Some effects of refining

When you get to experience rough and the pleasure from it, it becomes obvious how much life revolves around phantoms from the future, and how little it revolves around the present. It also becomes clear that it is possible right now to experience the fullness of saturation that is currently available to me through the experience of desires, and for this it is not necessary to go and do something. You can really want something and not be obligated to realize it at all. You can want anything and as much as you want right now, and clarity in this removes powerful barriers, far-fetched rules that prevent such mental activity.
During the generation of a strong raf, a state of invulnerability and detachment may arise. This can be explained: almost all desires for fulfillment are hung with skeptics, fears, self-doubt, concerns of various stripes, and if there is no desire for fulfillment, then all this garbage is also not there, which is why EPs arise, and when manipulating raffs, the pleasure in the chest arises noticeably stronger than with plexes.
After a desire has been cleared of zhurra, one may want to realize it again, because worries and other toxic rubbish have fallen away, and this desire for realization is experienced more pleasantly.
With a high intensity of desire, when it is purified, a perception of craving, entrainment somewhere may appear, and an accompanying image of flow may arise, associated with the laminar flow of the experience of desire.

012. Spring practice

Hymantopus orderly or simply chimantopus- a second-order desire - the desire to cleanse the acorn of adhering skeptics, concerns, mechanical components and similar debris.
Illusory desire- something that doesn’t actually exist, there is only a thought about it, a memory that once in the past there was such a desire. Now you may want to experience it, but there is no desire itself, but it may seem that you have it.
For example, I may want to learn English, and it even seems that I want to learn it, just not now (that is, as if this is a refined desire). But it’s easy to distinguish it from the refined one: if I imagine the implementation of the rough right now, then a calm clarity may arise: “no, I don’t want it now.” But when you try to imagine the realization of an illusory desire, a noticeable pressing weight of obligation arises.
Mixed Desire– a desire that is partly joyful and partly mechanical (i.e. mechanical motivation is also mixed in with it). For example, I may have a joyful desire to learn English, and along the way, dogmas like “I need to learn” pop up, which begin to poison the desire, despite the fact that they seem to be directed in the same direction.
Watering– a simple practice of alternating states: a) testing an acorn, b) strengthening it with direct effort or zhuzh.
Practice "spring"(usually we do several cycles, 15 seconds for each point):

1. testing the acorn
2. donkey (or zhuzh)
3. acorn
4. zhuzh (donkey)

For this practice, it is not enough to simply select an acorn according to the criteria that we described earlier. It is worth scanning acorns with some simple practice such as watering. During this practice, it will immediately become noticeable whether a mechanical component is mixed into the desire, whether there are any skeptics clinging to it. And you can either clear it of this, or choose a more suitable acorn.
1. It is worth having a wish list from which you choose an acorn that will be convenient to work with right now.
Sometimes, after starting training, it turns out that the acorn is not suitable - for example, it turns out that it is surrounded by skeptics that you did not notice before. And you can, without stopping your training, try other acorns in order to choose the one that is easily amenable to effort right now.
2. When an illusory desire is strengthened, it will deflate after the first attempts to strengthen it, and it will become obvious that it actually does not exist now, and if you begin to squeeze it out, then severe poisoning occurs.
3. When mixed desire intensifies, at some point poisoning occurs from the enhanced mechanical component. That is, by strengthening the acorn before starting training, you can check whether it is mixed.
4. Manipulation with mixed desires can lead to the desire to raise and train a chimantopus orderly in order to clean the acorn for further use.

013. Difficulty in maintaining attention on the stomach and stomach.

At first, it can be quite difficult to keep your attention on your stomach and your stomach (or other second-order desires) at the same time. During the generation of the zhuzh, the acorn seems to fade into the background, and it can be difficult to maintain remembrance of it, and sometimes you can even forget about it altogether, when at some moments all attention goes to the generation of the zhuzh, because the zhuzh is quite an unusual desire, to which there is no habit yet.
We can say that the practice of using the zhuzh is performed only at those moments in which attention evenly covers both the zhuzh and the acorn.
We conducted training to maintain attention on the desires of the first and second levels simultaneously. Raf was chosen as an acorn.
Sequencing:

1. test an acorn
2. experience the buzz
3. control the uniformity of keeping attention on the stomach and stomach.

We found the following ways to keep attention:
1) First, I imagine a visual abstract image of desire, and then I imagine that it’s as if I’m “taking a step back,” i.e. It’s as if I’m moving away physically and can simultaneously capture with my attention both the desire itself and some abstract visual object-zhuzh. A possible variant of the zhuzh image is a hot orange ball in the chest, warming up an acorn
2) At the second stage, do not a short recitation “I want to want more”, but a full one “I want to want to explore detachment more strongly.” Phrases used in this way automatically link attention to both objects.
3) I present a picture with the implementation of an acorn, after which I increase the brightness of the picture by imagining a brightness scale and a slider that I move along it.

014. Spontaneous refining of an acorn.

Spontaneous acorn refining occurred in several ground beetles during various exercises, mainly springing. For example, weakening of the plexus often leads to spontaneous loss of the jurr. If you focus on preserving the zhurra (for example, presenting a weakened plex as the realization of a desire in a small volume, such as “read only one sentence in English”), then you can achieve precisely a weakening of the plex, without allowing refinement.
It seems that spontaneous refining during various exercises arises due to the fact that this makes it possible to float in one’s perceptions, to experience pleasure from “inactivity”, although much at the same time. This state is very unusual and seemingly necessary, and it seems that its deficiency has accumulated over the entire previous life, and after it has arisen once with the help of efforts to generate it, it begins to arise spontaneously during exercises with complexes.
You can try to use the effect of spontaneous refining with a spring when it is not possible to refine the plex in any other way.

015. Interference with zhuzh from skeptics and fears

When desire is intensified in any way (direct effort or zhuzh), interference arises from skeptics and fears.
Different ground beetles had their own variants of interference:
*) blind destructive confidence, which can be described by the following phrases: “my efforts to control desires have no relation to real life”; “What I’m doing is just a cool toy, but in real life it won’t help me, I won’t be able to use it.” This perception of oneself as helpless - well, I’ve played and that’s enough, but in real life everything is not like that, and I won’t change anything.
*) fear of a strong desire that will “subdue” me
*) blind destructive confidence “I cannot experience strong desires”
*) fear that if I strengthen the acorn, I will definitely have to implement it. It seems that such fear is due to the lack of habit of experiencing roughness, as well as the dogma that my every desire should “benefit” in the most utilitarian sense of the word, must necessarily be realized
*) lack of desire to strengthen the acorn (the problem is solved by choosing the acorn for which there is a desire to strengthen it)
*) fear of one’s ability to control desires after successfully strengthening the acorn with zhuzh (because such a skill is new, unstudied, “inhuman”)
*) fear of competition of desires, because of which you want to stop experiencing, suppress weaker ones, so that in general there are fewer desires
*) negative confidence: “my manipulations with desires will not change their background intensity, it will still return to its previous state.” This makes it more difficult to strengthen desires with the help of zhuzh than to weaken the donkey.

Possible solutions:

1. write out the skeptics, and then try to strengthen them to the point of absurdity and see what happens, whether they dissipate.
2. CV against skeptics: I remember myself in a state of skeptics/fears, then in a state outside of them.
3. Make a list of OzFa against skeptics - clarity about what I have already achieved, how I have already changed (you can remember what I was like and what I am now) in order to maintain confidence that I can continue to become the way I want.

016 . Closed Desires

There are desires that I seem to experience quite often, but for some reason I don’t realize, although it’s nice to realize them. That is, this desire is clearly joyful, but it is suppressed by something to the point that, despite its long presence in the psyche, it is almost never realized.
Several ground beetles easily recognized such desires, and all of them had similar problems, a lack of understanding of how to approach such desires in order to make them come alive.
The question arose: what is the mechanical component here, what exactly is pressed down on the rust?
Observations on such desires:
*) the opposition to everyday life with these very desires is very strong
*) if I do realize a desire, then there is no such thing as forcing myself to experience something. I don’t squeeze anything out, pleasant perceptions arise on their own.
*) it is impossible to find an objective reason not to realize these desires, there is almost no time needed to realize them, there are no important activities that need to be done right now. Nevertheless, the desire is postponed and is not realized

Examples of such desires:
- go for a massage or ask someone to give me a massage
— go out for a walk in the evening near the hotel
— hang out near a huge stone on the track, which is a 5-minute walk from the hotel

It seemed to everyone that this was a certain class of desires, not induced, not joyful, not mechanical - something else. That there are many such desires in the psyche, and their presence is poisonous, because there is something common, oppressive: I want this, but I never realize it, I also condemn myself for not doing such simple things and cannot distinguish, why don't I do it?

With a spring:

1. I don’t want to strengthen it, distinct reluctance, resistance
2. thoughts “I shouldn’t implement” bring relief. After this, the desire became clearly refined and it was possible to intensify it.
3. it seems that a blind eye was hung on the desire, and it was he who fell off at the thought “should not be realized”

Preliminary conclusion-1:

Such desires are a laugh with an added blind eye and an attached feeling of guilt for non-fulfillment. I'm trying to squeeze this desire out of myself, forcing myself to realize it. As soon as the desire is refined, it comes to life and becomes pleasantly experienced. It seems that we are not realizing these laughs because of the hanging blind man's lips that push these desires tightly. During weak rough, this desire begins to “heal”, to get rid of blindness.

After the spring, we did the following training with the same desire:
raf2 – plex2 – plex5 – raf5 (5 cycles in a circle)

Preliminary conclusion-2: if zhmur is attached to desire, then it does not allow zhurra to arise. While it exists, it is impossible to joyfully want to realize this desire.

Exercise: plex2 – raf2 – raf5 – plex5 (5 cycles)
Observations:
*) as if the blind eye that was once hung continues to poison this desire.
*) I was able to test Plex-5 without resistance. In general, it is easier to experience plexus and disconnect the blindfold if you have already worked with the same closed-blind desire.

1. Blindness can be different - you just “have to do it”, or “you can’t just want to, you definitely have to do it.” Nevertheless, all desires with different blinders are perceived as belonging to the same class of “blinds.” You can release the closed desire by rocking with the help of exercises.
2. It seems that the blinders for different desires are interconnected, and as soon as one closed desire is released, the others begin to be freed. It’s as if there is a common position, a habit of putting a blind eye on desires, and it is enough to weaken it for such desires to begin to be cleared.
3. If it is not possible to determine by analysis-discrimination-analysis what exactly is “wrong” with perceptions, you can shake up this perception with the help of exercises and gain clarity for analysis.

017. Heron, Cloud of Wishes

“Heron” is a state of pleasant anticipation of the emergence of some new perceptions, readiness for their emergence, a desire to notice even the faintest glimpses. The heron of desires is the readiness to discern the appearance of desires.
“Cloud of desires” - those desires that are present in the background in the psyche (joyful, induced and mechanical): habitual, frequently occurring, and most easily distinguished. Plexes that you most often want to implement, and roughs that you most often want to experience. The cloud also includes obsessive mechanical desires, since there are practices that you want to do with them.

018. Tortured desires

Some mechanical desires are echoes of joyful desires. For example, I once joyfully wanted to do pull-ups, but now I don’t want to, but I continue to try to squeeze out this desire, “since it was right, it means I should want it now.” When they remembered how and why this desire became mechanical, it turned out that at first they realized it until it was exhausted, and then, when it had already disappeared, they squeezed it out of themselves, engaging in self-rape. Therefore, such desires were called “tormented”.
The most significant difference between tortured desires and closed desires: when realized, a closed desire brings pleasure, while the realization of a tortured one brings obvious poisoning. So tortured desires are definitely mechanical, and due to the fact that in this way some important desires for a person are squeezed out (for example, the desire to learn English, which is necessary to know when living outside of Russia, or the desire to develop one’s body in order to avoid decrepitude) , they can linger in the psyche for a long time, littering it and poisoning it with a background feeling of guilt for not squeezing them out of oneself.
Surprisingly, even such a desire turned out to be quite easy to “resurrect” using desire management practices.

Reanimator-1:
1. distinguish between a tortured desire and what skeptics are attached to it
2. apply chimantopus
3. create a team for the emergence of this desire (they talk about the practice of teamwork at the Selection of Perceptions Courses)

Result: the desire has become a joyful plexus, I have to constantly halve it, I realize it for an hour and a half a day, I monitor the pleasure during the implementation in order to prevent repeated torture.

Reanimator-2:
Workout (5 cycles):
1. acorn (tormented desire)
2. raf
3. zhuzh
4. donkey

Observations:

1. At the first attempt to joyfully want this, a lot of skeptics arise, heaviness, depression, but through this something pleasant breaks through, left over from a joyful desire that has turned into a tortured one.
2. At the first refining there is a strong relief: “I can just want, dream, and don’t have to do anything.” At each subsequent cycle, it was more likely not a refinement (because the blind eye fell off immediately), but a reminder to myself “shouldn’t implement it.”
3. At the stage of strengthening, the zhuzh easily strengthens the acorn from the thoughts “I want to want more, it’s just nice to want”
4. It was easy to weaken the desire, but I was always confident that after the exercise I would return it to strong, because I wanted to test it with strong rough.

Practice results:

1. I would like to leave this desire as a strong rough in order to receive double the amount from it. I will want this for a year and not implement it until a strong zhurr appears.
2. A joyful desire for fulfillment began to arise. And various ideas on how not to torture this acorn again, for example, implement it little by little, halve it (about halving, see the Courses). Various accompanying joyful desires also arose.

Conclusion: what makes tortured desires mechanical is the hanging blind man’s buff + the experience of self-rape. Half an hour of practice is enough for the desire to come to life and become either a rough or a plex, which you want to halve or realize little by little.

019. A way to increase desire, bypassing the naysayers.

1. I take for granted the desire to meet girls on the street. Initial intensity of desire 2.
2. I use zhuzh.
3. the acorn intensifies to three, but immediately fear of the girls’ negative attitude arises. It is clear that it is connected with the fact that at the same time the desire to realize automatically arises, on which this fear is hung. I can’t strengthen it further, I want to quit. This means that it is a “dirty acorn”, since it is significantly burdened with skeptics.
4. I refine the dirty acorn (I free it from the desire to realize, and therefore from the skeptic).
5. zhuzh of refined acorn
6. the acorn becomes 6, fear does not arise. I add zhurr - there is no fear or it is quite weak due to the already high intensity of the initial desire.