Love in German: how Germans flirt, how they meet, German love. German men vs. Russians: who is better? Relationship with a German
Now I will describe the mentality of the average German man. I have been living in Germany for 8 years, I was married to a German, another relationship with a German for several years, then a year and a half of endless dates and acquaintances, I probably met about forty men, with some of whom I had relationships for several months. I met men anywhere, in bars and restaurants, at discos, on the Internet, on vacation, through friends. Almost all were Germans. I’ll tell you about the most extreme option, it will show the mentality of German men in a slightly exaggerated way, but still reflect the whole essence of almost 80 percent of all men who grew up in Germany, regardless of what nationality they are.
So let's get started. Last year I met a doctor in his forties on a website where Western men are looking for Russian women to take them to live with them. It seemed to me that such men already know what a Russian woman is, they are not afraid of them, they understand that they need to take care of her and give gifts. After all, they are looking for beauties who have not yet been integrated into their culture, as a rule, without the German language. This means that a woman needs to be supported and taught at least for the first time.
The doctor immediately wrote to me in a letter that he was very successful, had reached the pinnacle of his career, that he worked for himself, in general - everything was great for him. He was incredibly glad that I lived in Munich, and not in Siberia, for example, where he had recently been - flying to meet a girl. We met at a restaurant that I suggested. The man was attractive and quite interesting. I immediately noticed that he had a kind of boring look in his eyes. But the chemistry appeared immediately - obvious and persistent from the first second. I dated him for about a month. We saw each other almost every day. On the second day, he invited me to Dubai - he had already booked a hotel, but there were no tickets yet, he was thinking of flying with a girl from Siberia, and then I showed up. I somehow felt sorry for this girl out of female solidarity. He spent a week with her in Siberia, of course slept with her, promised to marry her, take her, and then, bam, he writes that he met someone else, and all the best to you, don’t be angry. He naturally repented and said that this situation was unpleasant for him. Yes, but what can you do, this happens.
We booked tickets, visited a spa hotel in the mountains once, once in a restaurant and a couple of times in inexpensive salad bars, and cooked at his home several more times. Well, that's basically all. He paid for it all, didn’t give any gifts, and I didn’t expect it, to be honest. And here I am describing our last meeting: I’m waiting for him to pick me up for dinner, we haven’t seen each other for several days, I’m happy about the meeting and tomorrow, since I suggested going snowboarding and he noted that this was a good idea.
And so he flies up to me and says that he wants to talk to me. Doesn't kiss on the lips, with a serious expression on his face. Ok, I say, what's the matter? I’m sitting, made up, ready for dinner, waiting for fresh sashimi and red wine.
And he burst out. He started by saying that he doesn't want to be loved for his money. And everything looks as if I am exactly that case. So how many times has he invited me everywhere: in the most expensive restaurant he paid the bill, and in salad bars he paid for me, and in the spa hotel everything was on his shoulders, and he invites me on vacation, but what about me? And I never even invited him to coffee, I didn’t even pay for groceries from the store for a joint culinary evening. And I also said that I want gifts from a man not only for Christmas and Birthday, but more often. I also said that when I get married, I should know how much my partner earns. How could I even think of such a thing? The doctor said this and he was literally pounding with indignation. He didn't forget to mention that I was selfish because I had fans from Ferrari and Bentley. And finally, he dumped his suspicions on the table that I probably worked part-time as an escort - that I was too glamorous and was used to men paying for me. Don't forget that in Munich there are very few beautiful, well-groomed, tall, well-dressed girls. And if you have silicone tits, then you are definitely an escort. Oh, that was a low blow. I’m thinking, if I were an escort, then why would I need this poor doctor with his little BMW? I would invest my time better. I don’t condemn prostitutes, but rather even feel sorry for them - these girls, even for a lot of money, must step over themselves every time, sleep with fat people, scary people, and perverts. Their psyche is a priori not normal. And this still usually results in drugs, alcohol, antidepressants or multiple personality disorder. Not everyone can be an escort. And thank God!
Back to the man: almost all Germans really think this way. Even if it’s not as extreme as this one, even if they don’t express it to you directly, but they all have these prejudices: if you don’t pay for yourself, then you’re using it, if you’re glamorous, then it’s an escort, if there were rich men, then it’s selfish from the very beginning.
Which of you lives abroad? What is your experience with men there? It's very interesting to hear your opinions.
Generalized information obtained as a result of observations and conclusions of women who came to Germany from abroad - heroines of short novels, as well as those in long-term relationships and married to Germans. Quite subjective, but still...
Heine and Schiller, Beethoven and Liszt, Mendelssohn and Friedrich - these major representatives of German romanticism in poetry, philosophy, music and the visual arts had a significant influence on their descendants. What is it really like to date a modern German?
– A German will most likely never flirt with you like an Italian. And he won’t court as openly romantically as a Frenchman. Romance in Germany is more subtle and appears gradually. At 20, I would have thought dating a German was boring. At the age of 30, it became interesting, says an American woman who dated a German for nine and a half years.
Call me! - I'll call...
“If a German says he will call, he calls – even the next day,” the American continues. – The Germans have rules for almost everything. Be careful, he may do this not necessarily because he likes you, but because he promised. He might just dial your number to let you know that he doesn't like you and doesn't want to see you anymore. But he said he would call, so he will call. This happened to dozens of my friends.
Accuracy and Honesty
Those who use the rather dubious rule “If he loves you, he will wait” in life should be prepared for the fact that this romantic formula may not work in Germany.
– If you agree to meet at a restaurant at 20:00, he most likely will not keep you waiting and will be there at 19:59. On the other hand, he expects the same from you. So it's worth arriving on time. If he says he will be there, you won’t have to explain to the waiter that the date is only an hour late,” says a lady who once suffered from her Russian habit of being ostentatiously late for anything.
– If a German says “I love you,” he most likely means it. When he says he sees a future with you, he means it. On the other hand, if things are not going in the right direction, he will also clearly explain the reason for the breakup. He'll tell you why he doesn't like you or why things aren't working out. He can also honestly say whether he likes your gift, for example. This is one of the most difficult lessons that I had to learn in Germany,” admits the woman who finally found her family happiness in Germany.
Planning
– Most Germans love to travel, and they have enough days off for this. It is possible that he will want to include you in these travel plans. He might even make travel plans like my partner did, or ask you to do something based on common interests. There is no point in waiting for a call on Thursday to receive an invitation to spend a joint Friday evening. Most German men never give a woman one day's notice of a date. This happens at least a few days in advance, since it is assumed that your life is as planned as his, says a former Estonian woman who met her future husband in one of the so-called hobby groups.
Vacation fee
A Ukrainian woman who met her German partner while on holiday broke up with him because of his extreme frugality: “A German may expect you to pay your share of the holiday. In addition, he is probably saving the accumulated money for your future together. Or a future with someone else, depending on the circumstances. Germans generally like to save money.”
Some prefer the practical side to romance: “If you live in Germany, he will help you navigate the German bureaucracy. Doesn't sound very romantic. But any expat who has tried to get a work/marriage visa, insurance, or file a tax return knows how difficult it can be. You will be eternally grateful for all the countless phone calls and visits to the Ausländerbehörde, the office for foreigners, that he will make on your behalf.”
Care and attention
Many expat women find German men cold. The Germans prefer to consider themselves restrained.
– Once you get to know him better, you will see his warm and funny side. Yes, Germans can be funny. He doesn't show it to anyone, so consider yourself special if he shows it to you. German men need time. For example, one day my partner came home for lunch for the first time in 12 years because he was bored and thought I might be lonely,” recalls one lady from Kharkov.
Another emigrant speaks out in defense of German tenderness:
– When I had surgery on my knee, he spent 14 hours in the hospital. He took me to castles every weekend when I moved to Germany and didn’t have any friends yet. I moved to Munich because I thought it would be easier for me to get settled there. German men will show you that they care about you in every way. You just have to be open and patient enough.
February 14 is Valentine's Day. DW found out how often people declare their love in Germany and what will a German choose: porn or football?
Germans do not give free rein to their feelings, often watch porn films and easily change partners - is this really so? The results of sociological surveys on this topic were quite unexpected.
Germans looking for a soul mate
Eyes, voice, face and height - these are the parameters that German women first of all pay attention to when meeting someone. Men are attracted to girls by their beautiful face, eyes, long hair and voice. Harmonious body proportions among the Germans are only in fifth place. Another thing is professions.
Doctors in Germany are considered the sexiest
If you are a doctor, then success in Germany is guaranteed: according to a study by the dating site ElitePartner, representatives of this particular profession are considered the sexiest. Among the most unattractive to Germans are tax consultants, politicians and office workers.
Twice as much
According to a survey conducted by the medical journal Deutsches Ärzteblatt, on average a German man ends up in bed with about ten partners in his lifetime. Women are exactly twice as inferior: they sleep with only five men. But don’t be surprised by this difference: a 2017 study included more than two and a half thousand German residents over 14 years old, and many of them slightly embellished their achievements, psychologists say.
Arne Dekker, an employee at the University Hospital of Hamburg, is sure that this is how the respondents are trying to conform to their gender roles. “Many men feel more attractive if they have had many partners, but for women it’s the opposite,” the psychologist explained in an interview with the dpa news agency.
Rare love confessions
Despite such a number of partners, love confessions can be heard extremely rarely. In their entire lives, Germans say the phrase “I love you” to only four women; German women confessed their love to an average of only three men. The results of a survey by the sociological institute YouGov confirm the stereotype about the restraint of German residents: for only 37 percent of respondents, love overshadows other feelings and thoughts.
tell friends
Germans rarely declare their love, and even less often report it on Facebook: 12 percent of respondents consider it necessary to talk about their marital status on social networks. According to YouGov, about a third of Facebook users in Germany have not changed their status for a long time and do not care about it at all. So don't rely only on social networks.
Marriages and divorces
Marriages in Germany last on average about 15 years. Women are more likely to initiate divorce: they usually decide to do this at age 43, the Federal Statistical Office (Statistisches Bundesamt) reported in 2016. German men file for divorce at age 46.
Porn in Germany
Many consider Germany the birthplace of pornography, but the Germans themselves, compared to other countries, do not watch films of this genre as often. At the beginning of 2018, the world's largest portal with porn content, Pornhub, published statistics on site visits: Germany was in seventh place, behind the USA, Great Britain, India, Canada, Japan and France. In addition, football is much more important to Germans than porn: in 2013, during the Champions League final, Pornhub views in Germany fell by 40 percent. Of course: two German teams competed in the final: Borussia Dortmund and Bayern Munich.
Everyone under their own blanket
Most German couples sleep under different blankets. This does not mean that feelings have cooled down, it is just more comfortable for partners to fall asleep under their own blanket. This phenomenon, which shocks many foreigners, is jokingly called “two-pronged politics” (Zwei-Decken-Politik) in Germany.
Boring, calculating and pedantic - this is roughly the stereotype about German men that lives in the heads of most Russian girls who come to Germany. We found out that all this is true, but the girls themselves do not consider these qualities to be shortcomings. And we even learned to find advantages in them.
So, what should you be prepared for in relations with the Germans?
Germans only pay for a woman on the first date (and not always)
Get your wallet ready right away and forget about the fact that the man will pay for you. At best, you'll split the bill in half. And yes, ice cream and cinema are also at your own expense. Unless, of course, you come across a German who has already dealt with Russian women and knows what is expected of him.
Svetlana: “I moved to Germany when I was twenty. Before this, I had already heard that the Germans are stingy; in a restaurant, everyone pays for themselves. At the time, of course, it seemed simply terrible to me, but I couldn’t change my mind. In the first days I met a man, and we went to eat ice cream. It was a given to me that he would pay. I didn't even try to get my wallet. It seems he didn't expect this from me either. Later I found out that he had a lot of experience in relationships with Russian women, he was specifically looking for them. Therefore, he was aware that he was expected to answer the door, hand over coats and carry bags. Sometimes he even gave flowers - you usually don’t get such luxury from the Germans.
A little later, after looking around a little, I understood the rules of the game and began to behave differently. At the first meeting, as a rule, the man pays. On the second and subsequent occasions, the woman should offer to split the bill - in my memory, no one has ever refused money. Even in the cinema, everyone paid for themselves - I still don’t understand this. Many of the people I met were well off, had their own home and two cars. It's one thing when both are students, but when do you earn good money?
At the end of the evening he paid, but for the sake of decency I still offered to give some of the money. He says: “Okay, give me €20.” This was almost half the amount.
I remember once I went with a man, who already had specific plans for me, to a restaurant. At the end of the evening he paid, but for the sake of decency I still offered to give some of the money. He says: “Okay, give me €20.” This was almost half the amount. Even now it seems to me that this is abnormal. There were also cases when I paid for both.”
I quickly got used to it and even began to offer to split the amount myself. This became a kind of relationship test: if the man immediately happily agreed, then I automatically signed him up as a friend.
Anna: “I came to Germany for work. I had no immediate need to find a husband. I took my time looking for a person to my liking. What immediately surprised me was the division of the bill. This, of course, was a complete surprise for our mentality. But I quickly got used to it and even began to offer to split the amount myself. This became a kind of relationship test: if the man immediately happily agreed, then I automatically signed him up as a friend. I wanted something more romantic, so that someone would woo me. My future husband distinguished himself by being the first to indignantly refuse the money. I really liked it, and I began to look at it more closely.”
They devote a lot of time to their family and children
Almost all the women we spoke with said that 6-8 years passed from the moment they met until the wedding. Many of them admitted that they were ready to sign much earlier, but their partner needed much more time. “The Germans take a long time to look at a girl and take a long time to decide on the next step. If you are under thirty, be prepared to date for ten years,” says Diana. But if the choice is made, then German men are completely immersed in the family.
I can completely relax in the sense that my husband does not have any relationships on the side. He just doesn't need it.
Anna: “The Germans are exemplary family men, very loyal. My husband and I have three children, he is a businessman and works a lot. I can completely relax in the sense that my husband does not have any relationships on the side. He simply doesn’t need it: he says that Russian women are more sincere, well educated, know how to present themselves and communicate correctly with business partners. He is delighted that I manage to get everything done at home, with the children, and at work. I am sure that if I had been in the same position in Russia, being married to a Russian, the situation would have been completely different. I would constantly wonder where he is and what he does when he’s not at home.”
Svetlana: “When my daughter was very young and woke up very early, my husband got up with her. Even before leaving for work, they had time to chat, play, read a book while I was sleeping. On weekends he always goes with her to the playground. It’s true that it’s interesting that when I was pregnant, the attitude towards this was very even. He went to hang the laundry on the roof because it was hard for me, but if I wanted strawberries or pickles at night, he would have ignored the request.”
Diana: “As far as I can see from my friends, the Germans take care of children in a way that probably no one else does. Changing diapers costs them nothing at all. When our daughter was born, for the first three months she did not want to stay with anyone but me. My husband was very worried about this, read books, and spent more time with his daughter. If I went somewhere on business, he was happy to be alone with her. On weekends, too, the whole day with the child - plays, walks. Now we are looking for a swimming course so that the time will be convenient for my husband. He works all day, so it's not that easy."
They are scrupulous in matters of family budget
Svetlana: “When we got married, we immediately opened a joint bank account, where everyone transferred a certain amount every month. It turned out to be approximately €2 thousand per month. From this account we paid for the apartment, made large purchases, paid for gasoline and groceries, and went on vacation. But since his salary was much higher than mine, we made contributions as a percentage. He very carefully, down to the percentage, calculated the amount that everyone should transfer. But this is not pedantry for the sake of pedantry, he was simply afraid of offending me and taking too much. As a result, the contribution ratio was approximately 70/30, and I think this is fair. Now, since I’m on maternity leave, he pays for everything.
But this is not pedantry for the sake of pedantry, he was simply afraid of offending me and taking too much.
My colleague, who has approximately the same financial situation in her family, pays 50/50 with her husband. That is, she has almost no money left for herself, despite the fact that her husband earns many times more. This, I think, is wrong."
They love order and do everything according to the rules.
Svetlana: “My husband is quite picky and likes everything to be neat, no stains or dust. But he himself has a hand in this. In the evening he cleans the kitchen, takes out the trash and does other things. My friend’s Russian husband, for example, has the same requirements for cleanliness, but at the same time he believes that housekeeping is exclusively a woman’s business.
When my relatives arrive, they are surprised by his extreme meticulousness, which I myself no longer pay attention to.
When my relatives arrive, they are surprised by his extreme meticulousness, which I myself no longer pay attention to. For example, before breakfast, he asks everyone what kind of buns to buy: wheat, rye, with or without seeds, sweet or salty. Everyone must say exactly what he wants and in what quantity. Relatives ask why they can’t just go out and buy a little bit of everything. But in fact, this is a good meticulousness: he just wants to please everyone. And yes, we only cook eggs in an egg boiler. And to peel a boiled egg, we use a special device that makes a neat cut along the shell.”
Anna: “The Germans are really boring. But no, this is not quite the right word. They just always act exactly according to the rules. For example, recently our printer broke down and jammed the paper. While my husband was running around the apartment looking for instructions to find out what to do in such cases, I already climbed inside, pulled out the paper and fixed everything myself. He was simply shocked how I was able to do this without a detailed description. But, although he is surprised by this and is often indignant, at the same time he admires it.
Everything in his closet should lie perfectly flat. Socks - neatly folded: black - in one pile, white - in another. He never buys things that are unnecessary, from his point of view. For example, he only has one pair of sneakers for recreation. The second one is bought only when the previous one is worn out, and not before. The same goes for a set of underwear and socks.
The Germans are honest and meticulous, including in finance. They even declare things that can easily be hidden and that Russians would never bother with.
The Germans are honest and meticulous, including in finance. They even declare things that can easily be hidden and that Russians would never bother with. One day, a husband lent his business partner money privately, and then received a small percentage for it. He then indicated this amount to the tax office, although this could easily have been avoided. We don’t pay the cleaning lady under the table, as is often done here, but officially, so that she pays taxes.
The documents in the office should be laid out exactly as he left them on the table. God forbid someone moves it - there will be a storm.”
Once I said that I want some corn, let’s go and pick it in the field. I will never forget his face at that moment.
Irina: “Excessive correctness sometimes gets you. I remember once saying that I want corn, let’s go and pick it in the field. I will never forget his face at that moment. And one day we went to the forest to pick mushrooms, got a little lost, went out into a field, and there were carrots growing. I pulled one. God, I listened to so much! The next day, my husband bought me a dozen bunches of carrots, just so I wouldn’t pick them anymore.”
They don't offer help, but wait to be asked for it.
The Germans are not used to snatching a woman’s bag from her hands, handing her a coat and letting her go ahead. Education, which begins in kindergarten, has an effect: all people are equal. “In kindergarten, boys always run ahead of girls for ice cream and candy. I once made a remark to my son in front of the teacher and asked him to pull him back, saying, ladies first. She looked at me like I was a fool and said that this is a thing of the past,”says Evgenia.
True, if you ask to hold the door or carry something heavy, almost no one refuses. In the same way, they themselves turn to help when they cannot cope.
Anna: “Every day I take my stroller for a walk in the park. To do this, you must first take her down the stairs. Sporty young people often run past and don’t even think of offering help while I’m struggling... When I lived in England, this didn’t happen, help was always offered, and in Russia too. My husband, who has lived in other countries, now begins to feel this difference very keenly.”
There are too many emancipated women in Germany, so even real men have become more careful - why do they need unnecessary problems? They just don't know how to behave.
Alice: “A typical phrase from German men who want to help: “Can I take it?” That says it all. Apparently, not everyone wants their personal belongings touched. Perhaps this is just my personal interpretation, but I can’t explain it otherwise.”
Natalia: « I am against emancipation, and I really like it when people carry my bags, hold the door, and pay for me in a restaurant. In my understanding, a man is the one who does all this and for him it is normal. But in Germany there are too many emancipated women, so even real men have become more careful - why do they need unnecessary problems? They simply don’t know how to behave – many Germans admitted this to me!”
But the most important thing is that Germans evaluate a person by his qualities
Anna: “Now I’ll probably say something terrible. It's no secret that some German women look, let's say, too everyday. When I ask my husband why this is so, do they really not want to be attractive to their men, he invariably answers: “We look at the soul, not at the appearance.”
Illustration: shutterstock.com
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Society >> Customs
“Partner” No. 1 (160) 2011
Once again about love
About the difference in mentalities
Daria Boll-Palievskaya (Dusseldorf)
or How relationships are built between a man and a woman in Germany
To paraphrase Pushkin, we can say: all nations are submissive to love. And using the words of another classic, we can add: they love in their own way. In any case, love stories develop according to different scenarios. Russian men, for example, “buy flowers with all their money and throw them at the feet of the woman they love, or argue with her, or get drunk into unconsciousness, threaten suicide, that is, they try by hook or by crook to win the attention of their chosen one.” In general, they lose their heads.
“A German man in love acts according to plan. He can circle around a woman for years like a moth around a light bulb, buzzing her ears with conversations on socially significant topics, instead of immediately getting down to business and revealing his feelings to her.” And in order to start a real romance, he often needs to “go with the object of his dreams to a restaurant twenty times, on hikes thirty times, drink 50 liters of coffee and eat several kilograms of cakes.” This is how the behavior of compatriots and Germans in love was humorously compared by Vladimir Kaminer, an expert on Russian and German mentalities and a writer living in Berlin, in an article devoted to national stereotypes. (Translation by the author).
As they say, there is some truth in every joke. Is everything really so diametrically opposed? “All people are the same, only their habits are different,” said Confucius. And what is a habit if not what we are used to, that is, what is considered the norm in our society?! And part of the norm is the manner of expressing one’s feelings and the way gender relationships are built.
In a foreign culture, what is most striking is what lies on the surface. However, 90 percent of the cultural pyramid, that is, thinking, principles, norms, like an iceberg, remain invisible and hidden. And we judge solely by what we see. It has already become a byword that the Germans supposedly always and everywhere pay for themselves: “Yes, they are in love, yes, they hold hands, yes, they sit in a cafe, drink only with their left hand, without taking their right hands away from each other.. .Tear off only once to pay. Every man for himself. He and she. Of course, these are their traditions, but what should we do there?” asked M. Zhvanetsky during his next concert in Germany. And his Russian listeners roared with laughter.
Well, of course, the Germans are greedy, the satirist correctly noted! I noticed something, but, as they say, I didn’t know where the bell was hanging. Yes, it is accepted among us that a man always and everywhere pays because he is a man. And the woman does not owe him anything for this. In Germany, if a young man invites a girl to a restaurant, this means that he is not only interested in her, but also expects something. “I remember when I first met my future German husband, he asked permission to invite me for a glass of wine. I was simply taken aback then, isn’t it self-evident that he will pay, and are there any other options? He later told me that his ex-girlfriends initially insisted that they could pay for their coffee themselves,” one Russian friend told me. Behind this lies the same feminism, a woman’s desire to prove her independence, and not thriftiness or the clinginess of a suitor.
“When we went on vacation together, I assumed that Ralph would pay all the expenses, but it was normal for him that we pay everything 50/50, although he also took on the costs of the rental car. At first I was offended: after all, he knows that I earn little, and in general in Russia this would be simply impossible. And then I realized that Ralph saw in me not a kept woman, but a partner, a woman whom he respected precisely because she was able to go through life on her own and did not need a man who always and everywhere paid for her.” 
The stereotype about the stinginess of the Germans sits so deeply in our subconscious that we are ready to explain everything precisely by this trait of the German character. In fact, a German man is also capable of showering his beloved with flowers or inviting her to a chic restaurant. It is precisely the Germans, it seems to me, who are very creative, romantic and generous towards their chosen ones. (If they allow it.) But they do not believe that it is their responsibility to act as a sponsor. This is how they were raised by German women. And sometimes they seem almost intimidated by the confident fair sex.
The same Russian friend shared: “A German friend once helped me assemble a cabinet from IKEA. Well, I decided to thank him and invited him to dinner. So he, poor thing, decided that we would have an affair. “No woman has ever cooked for him,” he admitted.” Yes, German women do not spoil their men! Well, even if the Germans are not greedy, many will say they are certainly ungallant. And they will never open the car door, they will not let you forward, and they will not give you a hand when getting off the bus. “A man always opens the car door for a lady. If the car is new. Or a lady,” the Germans self-ironically, knowing that they do not shine with refined manners.
And again, behind this clumsiness lies almost the fear of showing the woman her superiority, what if she says that she does not need help and is able to lift the suitcase herself? But it would never occur to a Russian gentleman, who has just fluttered around the lady of his heart, to, for example, ask her if it is possible to smoke in her presence. Because deep down in his soul he is sure that he can do anything. After all, he is a man.
Well, okay, we convinced you, the Germans are polite in their own way. But they are completely incapable of flirting! Yes, light flirting is a difficult thing. After all, the Germans are convinced that the success of any business depends on how thoroughly you prepare for it. Therefore, in Germany you can take courses “The Art of Flirting”, where for a lot of money men persistently learn the science of understanding women. Or rather, they memorize pre-prepared phrases that supposedly have an irresistible effect on women. For example, such as: “Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I pass you by again?” or “Hi, I don’t think we know each other yet!” Yes strong! You can't say anything! But with a guarantee that everything was done correctly. Otherwise you will rely on yourself and come up with something politically incorrect. This is probably also why German couples love to delve into their feelings so much, as it is called in German “Beziehungen klären”.
In general, around this word “Beziehung” (relationship) in modern German so many words with the same root have been formed - Beziehungsangst, Beziehungsstress. And they are all somehow negative. Even the word "Beziehungsarbeit" exists. To remember that the relationship between him and her is, first of all, hard work. I remember how many years ago, in a company of students from Russia, we discussed the question of why a romance between a Russian and a German is possible, but between a German and a Russian is almost impossible? We did not come to a common denominator then. And it was also completely unclear to us where they even met each other, because it seems that all the couples have been together with each other literally since kindergarten. This is probably safer so as not to start Beziehungsarbeit from the very beginning. In addition, a Russian man will never understand what a German woman wants from him. On one Internet forum, a German girl in love with a Russian colleague writes: “Here, in Russia, it is generally not customary to discuss your feelings with your partner. But for me it is very important!
I tried several times, but without success. Now I decided to write everything down and show him.” Well, we can wish you success. This is a woman's point of view.
German men look very positively at the Russian model. Thus, the popular German actor Heino Ferch, who starred in a film in St. Petersburg, recalled nostalgically about Russia: “I was delighted how simple and clear it all is for the Russians. Girls are feminine and master the art of erotic play. Guys are courageous, but not in the sense that they are macho. It’s just that in a relationship between a man and a woman, everything goes without saying. And you don’t have to, as happens with us, constantly think about how and what to say or interpret what someone meant.”