What does it mean to be yourself article. How to be yourself? How to be yourself

Question. Sometimes people put on masks, hiding their true face behind them. It would seem that this is just a screen behind which a person is hiding for a number of reasons. But no, everything is much more serious. After all, he pretends to be a stranger.

Leading a double life, left alone, a person can expose himself and expose his soul. But, being in society, he again reincarnates into a familiar hero and continues to exist in an imaginary world, in a new role, getting used to the role. At the same time, he tries to appear correct and positive, and does not notice the mistakes he makes.

Is it good? Or is it still worth washing off the makeup, showing your true face? We’ll talk about this topic in our article and consider practical recommendations.

How to be yourself

The first question we will try to cover. But first, let’s think about what it means to remain yourself.

This is extremely difficult. After all, a person who is in this state:

is in harmony with himself;
calm and balanced;
feels inner comfort.

But a person can still be different. That is, relaxed in a friendly circle and serious, collected and organized in a work environment. Let's say that the fact that you receive clients with a smile does not mean that you are hypocritical. These are the rules of etiquette. People who do not want to comply with certain requirements justify themselves with the phrase “you need to remain yourself.” These are often stubborn and inadequate citizens.

This example suggests that a specific situation shapes different behavior. And this is the norm. The main thing is not to play. At the moment of excessive, ostentatious, unnatural modesty or arrogant swagger, a person causes a feeling of discomfort in others. They have a desire to leave his company or minimize dialogue.

Now it becomes a little clearer how to be yourself. You just need to share real emotions and show those feelings that really guide you. People around you will appreciate your sincerity.

Now let's talk about how to become yourself

The answer to this question should be sought within yourself. This can take a very long time. Therefore, first of all, you need to ask yourself why you need this, why it is worth remaining yourself.

You need an end goal that will act as your motivator. It is she who will help you get closer to your dream. But first, let’s define who he is, the lucky one who managed to achieve this.

Characteristics of a person who has become himself

It has the following features:

Conscious behavior. Acts intelligently, knows what he is doing and why.
Harmony with yourself and the world around you. The person is always calm and balanced.
Smile and sparkling eyes.

Such people do what they like, this is where awareness of actions is manifested. They are happy, literally glowing from within.

Children are a living example of this. They rejoice at every moment, sincere laughter, tears too.

Therefore, you should feel like a child and plunge into pleasant memories, again taste the beauty of life. Start exploring yourself, getting to the bottom of your “I”, discarding everything unnecessary.

We need to act. Find yourself through your favorite thing, activity. If it captivates you, completely immerses you in the work process, and at the same time brings moral satisfaction and happiness, you are on the right track.

The wishes are as follows:

You should not show feigned perfection and demand this from others, be afraid of making mistakes and showing negative feelings. This leads to internal confinement.
You need to understand that freedom comes with responsibility. When finding the way to yourself, you need to be accountable for every action you take and listen to your inner convictions.
Dream. Change your life, making your wishes come true, achieve your goals.
Destroy psychological barriers, remove everything from the path that interferes with you.
Working on yourself is another good piece of advice. Just reading articles and books on this issue is not enough; you need to work tirelessly on your own emotional and internal state.

How to be yourself? Effective techniques

They will help you quickly overcome the path of self-discovery. Needs to be done once a week.

First exercise: “Your bag”

You will need a piece of paper and a pencil, as well as any hand luggage. It will take about fifteen minutes.

It is necessary to lay out the contents on the table, after which:

Of all the things, select three that can most clearly reveal your personality, character, preferences, and qualities. If one is missing, you can visualize the one that most people carry in their bag.
Now write, without being distracted by literacy, about each thing and how it reveals you.
Then read the text and try to understand what new things you learned about yourself. To what extent has this activity changed your worldview? Don't make quick conclusions; you need to give yourself time to think.
The exercise can also be done with things that are contained in your desk drawer, car glove compartment, on a closet shelf, and so on.

This exercise teaches you to focus your thoughts on yourself in order to understand yourself better.

Second technique: “Fictional character”

It will take the same amount of time. You need to come up with a movie character, a character from a book or a cartoon, but he should remind you of the real you at the moment.

For execution we take the same attributes. So let's begin:

We write what you have in common with You need to pay attention to external similarities, identical character traits, any life situations, be it work, family, personal life, or anything you can think of that can be compared.
Then outline the differences you found based on the material above.
Then, in the same written form, tell us whether you would like to actually meet this person, yes or no, and why. After re-reading, think about what new things you learned about yourself.
Now you need to imagine the hero you would like to be like. And do the same steps. After skimming through the text, think: have you become more like him than before? And to what extent can you use this list of suggestions to change your personality in the future tense to be the way you want?

The purpose of this exercise is the same - to understand yourself better.

Third exercise: “Your feelings”

It will take twelve minutes. You need to be left alone in silence. Try to describe your feelings objectively.

Let's get started:

In just three sentences, describe your emotional state and mood.
Now highlight the physical sensations, muscle tension, pain, fatigue. And how does this relate to your emotions and feelings?
Then we move on to the psychological state, how is it related to the above aspects?
After that, describe the actions you performed. Do you have a desire to act in a certain way? Maybe an opportunity has arisen to avoid something, to take it out on someone, to hug, and so on.
The goal of this training is to learn to describe in detail your condition on three levels: emotional, psychological and physical. After this, you need to read everything again and compare what is written with reality. That is, with the feelings that you actually experience.

This exercise will help you learn to understand your own feelings, be able to describe them, and also contribute to the development of self-expression skills and creative thinking.

Sometimes a difficult life forces you to put on masks again, and then the question arises of how to become yourself again.

Everything is very simple. You need to do these techniques regularly and constantly improve. How can you always be yourself?

Let's give some practical advice:

Don't be afraid to appear real.
There is no need to be ashamed of your shortcomings, everyone has them.
Don’t despair, bad weather is replaced by good luck.
Turn complex situations into simple ones. Don’t be nervous, stay calm, imagining that you had to decide something similar.
A simple, understandable speech will help you to be yourself.
Explore the world around you by asking yourself and answering difficult life questions.
Remember one truth: it is impossible to please everyone.
During the dialogue, maintain visual distance and do not leave it.
Look for friends with whom your interests coincide.

You need to know your inner world and accept yourself as you are. Confidence, freedom and a positive mood will tear off all existing masks and allow you not to play, but to truly live.

Hello dear readers. My name is Artem, and I am the author of this blog. And in this article we will talk a little about how to be yourself, why in our lives it is so important and necessary to take responsibility for ourselves, our lives and our actions.

While looking for a new post for my VK group, which I run, I came across these words on the Internet:

Be yourself, learn to be alone - that's all. And remember: a person who knows how to be alone never suffers from loneliness.

What does it mean to me to be myself? Do not try to show, present yourself among our family, friends and people around us as someone who you really are not - in order to raise your authority in the eyes of those same family, friends and people around us. After all, it looks stupid from the outside. And such show-offs (I beg your pardon) will be appreciated only by a person of a low level of self-development.

Remember, in your facial expressions, in your eyes, in the intonation of words, body movements - arms, neck, head, etc. Your true essence is contained, and you cannot hide it. No matter how hard you try, the people around you will understand who you are and what you really are.

Therefore, in order to make a good impression on others, we try to remain “ourselves”, and put the show-offs into the oven, let them burn with a blue flame!

Learn to be alone

How do I understand the meaning of these words? Everything is simple here! To be alone means to be independent, to be independent from others, both financially and morally! Be independent from outside opinions and have your own! Be responsible for yourself, for your actions! Realize that in this world you can only count on yourself! Be able to independently cope with the difficulties that life gives us!

And remember: a person who knows how to be alone never suffers from loneliness

Now imagine such strong personalities who remain themselves in any life situation and do not use show-offs (let’s call a spade a spade) to raise personal authority or for other purposes, who are independent and take responsibility for their actions. Financially stable and morally stable from outside criticism and judgments. They know how to independently cope with life’s difficulties and achieve success. Such personalities are like a magnet and simply cannot be alone.

Therefore, I will always remain myself and take responsibility for myself and my life!

Well, I shared with you my vision of how I understand the meaning of these words. Perhaps I forgot to say something, or perhaps I am mistaken somewhere. You understand the meaning of these words differently, and perhaps you will completely agree with me.

Write in the comments, and let’s together reveal the deep meaning that lies in these words.

To be yourself means to feel comfort and harmony within yourself, to live and behave naturally, without tension. A person is not obliged to meet someone else's requirements and expectations. But it is completely normal to be responsible at work and relaxed in the company of friends and on vacation. Self-improvement can temporarily take a person out of a comfortable state; such a period, as a rule, is accompanied by the integration of something new into a person’s life and his consciousness. But after a certain time, such changes are accepted by a person and seamlessly harmonize with his personality.

Very often a person living in the past feels comfortable in the way he was before. And in this case, being yourself means using only familiar methods, not trying new things, and avoiding risks. It is necessary for the human personality to move energetically towards its goal. In fact, a person is a collection of individuals who manifest themselves in turn. Here it is advisable to talk about such concepts as the inner voice, behavior under various conditions, conscious and unconscious. It is completely normal when a person knows how to be different and relies on his various qualities in a given situation.

Only sincere expression of one’s emotions and feelings helps a person feel like himself. Don't be afraid to open your heart and soul, otherwise it will be impossible to feel all the colors of life. Each person is unique, it is in this sense that you need to be proud of yourself and remain with your own opinion. Live your own life, not someone else’s, mind your own business and realize your creative abilities. A self-sufficient person cannot be manipulated; he does everything from the heart. He gives out of the abundance of love in his heart, and not in order to take advantage of others and fill his emptiness.

Many wonderful things begin to happen in the life of a person who has the courage to speak the truth, be himself and live in the present. Such a person is free from worries, excuses and other people's opinions. He has good health and strong immunity, love for himself and the people around him, he feels peace of mind and gratitude in his heart.

It is impossible to please everyone; trying to please people, a person loses himself, his personality, his charisma. This is a completely pointless activity that leads to self-doubt. It is also impossible to find your path and your happiness by trying to be someone else. After all, every person has shortcomings and this is quite normal. Another thing is that it is not normal to constantly think about them. Learn to talk about your shortcomings and accept them in yourself.

Every person needs inner harmony, and mental health and emotional mood depend on it. Learn to be at peace with yourself. Sometimes, in order to find the necessary harmony, a person needs to change something in his life: change his job, place of residence, partner, feelings for whom have long passed. And start your life from a new page, in a positive and joyful mood.

Throughout life, people make many choices, as a result of which they shape their life path. Only one’s own fears and inability to accept oneself and all one’s life decisions with love prevent a person from following his essence. A person who manifests himself is able to recognize his own essence and integrity in all its diversity. And a state of balance, a state of harmony within oneself, gives a person the opportunity to live with pleasure, contemplating this world, feeling peace and acceptance within oneself.

Just be yourself... It's time to remove that “just” from this sentence. There is nothing simple about being yourself, but you must do it, because

You can't find your happiness by trying to be someone else.. (website)

Below are 13 effective methods on how to become yourself:

1. What are you trying to hide?

Find what you are ashamed of. You can't be yourself when you're trying to hide part of yourself from prying eyes. Clearly define what you are ashamed of about yourself, and be prepared to speak openly about it. Being yourself means being willing to show yourself as you are, and not as you think others will accept you. Larry King immediately spoke about his shortcomings and this simplified his communication with any interlocutor. Often he didn't even have to do this, but being willing to talk about his shortcomings made him a better communicator and made his life a lot easier.

2. Three basic things to be proud of

Be sure to be proud of the basics: your first name, last name and job. If your name is Diarrhea Gavnov, change your name. If you work as a visiting proctologist in a reception center for homeless people, change your job. In cases far from these, be proud of yourself. Having flaws is normal, constantly thinking about them is not..

3. One day you are on a horse, the next day you are under a horse and vice versa

During the upswing, we want to think that it will always be like this, but then there is always a downturn. When we are at the bottom, we lower our self-esteem and cannot be ourselves. We are ashamed. There is no need to be ashamed of downturns, they are part of progress, you need to be prepared for them. The position should be something like this: “Yes, today I’m unemployed and have nowhere to live, but in general I’m awesome and it will soon be seen.”

4. Haste

If you are in a constant rush, you may forget who you really are. To rush means to place your habits and thoughts in the grip of time. You can't be yourself when you're in a hurry. Stop running, turn back and say to yourself who is running behind you, “Gotcha?!” Make stops when talking to people. Slow down the pace. The rule here is: The more you rush, the further you run away from yourself. If you are asked a question point blank: “You must make a decision right now. So yes or no"? The answer should always be “no”. No regrets. This is the price for happiness.

5. Life situations

Notice in what situations you are not yourself. A clear pattern will be visible very soon. The same people, places and circumstances cause tension and unusual behavior in you. Next time, give yourself permission to relax in these situations. Relaxation means returning to yourself. Learn not to tense up when you are stressed.

6. Your tongue

Don't speak in formal language. Keep it simple. Genius lies not in complicating a thought, but in expressing it as simply as possible. To be yourself means to stop dressing your thoughts in triple layers of thick words.

7. Listen, don't talk

Change the purpose of your conversations with people from “to speak and impress” to “to listen and understand.” In order not to create additional stress in yourself with the obligation to “understand,” always keep in mind the rule: Understanding does not mean agreeing.

8. Be curious

Ask questions, be interested in what you are talking about with the person. If you don't understand, be sure to ask what your interlocutor meant. Ask tough questions. Don't feel sorry for people, you think too much about them. Difficult questions, by the way, develop your environment. They will be grateful to you for them later. To be yourself means to be interested in the world.

9. Love yourself

Not in words, but in deeds. Give yourself favors that no one sees. Self-love should not be for show, but secret. Flowers are for show. Expensive underwear (this also applies to men, especially men) is a secret. Later, the secret will become clear, and you will decide to always be yourself, because that is exactly the way you adore yourself.

10. Exercises to be yourself

Answer honestly - why is it difficult for you to be yourself? Because you are trying to please others! You are captive of other people's opinions. There are exercises on how to become yourself and not depend on the opinions of others. One of the most effective is to sometimes intentionally take other people out of their comfort zone. They probably won't like it. This is “weight-bearing exercise.” Intentionally inducing negative feelings towards yourself is as far from “trying to please” as it can be, which means it is a powerful exercise in the journey towards yourself.

11. Look into the eyes

Learn to look people in the eye when you talk to them. Dogs can't do this. On an animal level, we are programmed to obey whoever holds our gaze longer. However, don't turn your conversations with people into a meeting between two boxers before a match. Don’t avoid looking, be prepared to “watch” until the end until you finish the thought. The escalator in the subway is a good place to practice initially.

12. Start writing your blog

The more frank, the better. The first frank posts will be painful for you. You will worry about what people think of you and want to fit in. There will be a temptation to hide in the middle of humanity and not stick out. But with each new article and with each critical comment addressed to you, you will worry less and less about other people’s opinions about yourself, and louder and louder, you will hear your own voice from within. You will also begin to become yourself because you will gain enormous knowledge of yourself while writing articles.

13. Speak in public regularly

Terrible point, 13th. And yet this is the most effective way to be yourself. I’m not saying this because I run the oratory club Speakerclub every Saturday. I opened the Speakers Club because I believe in it. By constantly speaking in front of an audience, you will not only improve yourself thanks to feedback from listeners from the audience, but you will accept yourself for who you are. The next step is to teach other people to accept you for who you are. Vanity, haste, panic will all pass. Being yourself will become your default state, which will bring you a lot of happiness and will be so irresistible to captivate those around you.

P.S. Read for tomorrow: “5 effective exercises on how to become yourself.”

What means: “How to become yourself (or yourself)”- you ask - I am already “I”, which means I am myself...
However, most people only think that they are themselves and have their own authenticity.

What does it mean to be yourself (yourself) - social masks

Most people wear social masks and can often hear: “You have to be yourself” or “Be yourself”, or another popular expression: “Be simpler and people will be drawn to you,” but not everyone understands what it means to be yourself...

To be youreself- means to be an authentic person, that is, honest, genuine, real, and not to wear a social mask, adapting to the opinions of society and other people.

Be simpler- this is the same thing as being yourself, it is being an autonomous, natural, natural person, i.e. show real, true emotions and feelings, express your desires, your mood, and corresponding behavior and physiological reactions.

Test yourself: remember the past day - were you yourself everywhere: sincere and honest with yourself, with others, including loved ones, were you natural, spontaneous in expressing feelings and desires, in free movement of the body and without controlling your emotions, or You wore a social mask when communicating with loved ones, colleagues at work, friends and acquaintances, parents or children - Well, were you yourself?

How a person becomes not himself - human authenticity

Look at a small child - he is real, truly authentic, he shows real emotions and feelings... his behavior is natural - there is nowhere to be “simpler”.

But as the child grows up, he learns not be yourself: he is identified with adults, usually with his own gender, for example, a boy with his father, or with the heroes of fairy tales, short stories, histories and films (now also popular computer games), with older children, in a word, with those who are authoritative for him, who he wants to be like.

Introjection occurs, that is, information from the outside is unconsciously entered into the child’s head, which he then perceives as his own. Based on this information stored in the head, in the future a person builds his life, on the basis of this he develops a social mask.

In addition to unconscious introjection, in the process of upbringing and socialization, a bunch of rules, norms, prohibitions and orders are consciously hammered into the child’s head, which are then transformed into his beliefs and ways of thinking, emotionality and behavior.

Many norms, in particular morality and morality, are, of course, necessary in a civilized society, but how much unnecessary and sometimes harmful information “garbage” remains in the head.

From childhood (at 7-8 years old), a person has already written the script of his life, and by the beginning of adolescence, the main social mask has already been molded.

In fact, if you know how a child was raised, the future fate of each individual person becomes predictable...

In order not to live according to the script programmed in childhood, and not to be a zombie person (robot), one must take off the mask and become oneself...

How to take off the mask and be yourself

What a social mask is is a set of learned emotions, feelings, behavior, external physiological reactions, in the form of facial expressions, postures, facial expressions and gestures, tone of voice, activated in certain life situations.

Those. in society, in society - a social mask can be acceptable, but when it is put on in personal, close relationships: in the family, in child-parent relationships, in marriage, and even in love, when a person cannot be himself - this leads to great relationship problems...

Often, a social mask performs a protective function of the psyche, protecting the individual from perceived problems. But for the most part, this defense does not work, and often, on the contrary, leads to gaming relationships, interpersonal problems and intrapersonal conflicts.

To take off the mask and be yourself you need to better understand your inner selves, learn to distinguish between real, innate emotions and feelings from false ones learned in childhood. Also, it is necessary to realize and change your inner beliefs and ways of stereotypical thinking. And finally, realize and change the strategies of your behavior in certain recurring life situations.

To do this you will have to work a little on yourself...