How to behave in a conflict situation. Constructive conflict resolution: methods and benefits. To resolve conflict constructively, listen to other people's opinions.

Due to different characters, temperaments and opinions, controversial and conflict situations often occur between people. The conflict can be between people you know, relatives who love each other, or just colleagues. Psychologists note that conflicts are inherent in any person, there is nothing to worry about. It is only important to know how to behave in a conflict situation in order to end it painlessly and without losses.

The basis for conflicts is often minor disagreements and the inability of people to correctly resolve such situations. Due to emotionality, little awareness and wisdom, against the backdrop of small differences of opinion, people can inflate the conflict to large-scale proportions. There are also serious problems in which only a competent person can know how to get out of a conflict situation while maintaining favorable relationships.

Before looking for ways and means of how to behave correctly during a conflict in order to suppress it, it is worth becoming familiar with the concept and the reasons for its occurrence. In a literal translation, the word conflictus is translated as collided, from which we can conclude that conflict is an acute way of resolving confrontations of interests and opinions. Conflict always arises against the background of social interaction, which is inherent in all people.

Many experts note that a conflict is always a verbal influence on the part of several parties who express their position, belief, and opinion. The object of the conflict is the subject of the dispute, the subjects are opponents, groups, organizations. The scale can be interpersonal or global; much of its solution depends on the conditions, tactics and strategies of the parties.

Expert opinion

Victor Brenz

Psychologist and self-development expert

Any conflict is a complex, dynamic process consisting of several phases. This is the formation of objective reasons for this, that is, the objective situation between opponents, the second phase is the development of the incident during interaction, in the end the conflict ends with an absolute or partial solution.

Reasons for disagreement

It will be impossible for any opponent to emerge from the conflict without consequences if its causes and provoking factors are not analyzed. The nature of the conflict is in fact the true goal of the participants in communication, that is, the outcome of the conflict. Psychologists note that the following circumstances may be the precursors of a controversial situation:

Objective reasons - they are usually associated with existing problems or shortcomings in a person.
Subjective reasons - these can be people’s assessments of actions, events, and other people.

Conflicts themselves can be destructive, that is, they act in a destructive manner without a chance of resolution and a favorable outcome, as well as constructive, which can provide for rational transformations of existing circumstances. If we consider in more detail, the most common causes of conflicts are judgments and condemnations of other people, assessments of actions and people in general, etc.

How to behave in a conflict situation depending on its type?

Psychologists primarily discuss how to emerge victorious from a conflict. Today, he often uses 5 conflict resolution strategies, namely:

Avoiding a dispute- if a person does not have the time and energy to find a way out of a controversial situation, you can postpone the process of sorting out the relationship, giving both parties a chance to analyze the situation. This technique is especially relevant in resolving disputes with management at work, if a person does not see a solution, doubts that he is right, if the interlocutor is more persistent in proving his point of view, and agreeing with him would be an appropriate decision.
Rivalry- openly defending one’s position is appropriate if being right is extremely important to both opponents. In order not to lose in an argument, it is important to behave correctly.
Cooperation- this is the longest process leading to conflict resolution, if there is a desire to maintain good relations with the opponent, the parties have equal rights, there is time to resolve the dispute and there is mutual benefit in this.
Device- it is permissible to give in to an opponent in a conflict, if the dispute could otherwise become more serious, the issue is not fundamental for one side, the conflict arose with the leadership.
Compromise- this situation provides an opportunity to prove your point of view, but subject to at least partial acceptance of the other side. This strategy is appropriate when the parties have equal rights, and it is also important for both parties to maintain a favorable relationship.

After this, you can move on to the second stage of conflict resolution. Psychologists advise following several rules:

be open in front of your opponent, do not clasp your hands on your chest;
try not to glare at your interlocutor with an angry and intent gaze;
control intonation, facial expressions and manner of speaking;
you should beware of harsh and premature assessments of your opponent’s opinion;
it is important not to interrupt, but to hear each other;
when the opponent expresses his point of view, it is important to show his attitude, and not his assessment of it;
you should not show defiant intellectual superiority;
in order to reduce the degree of dispute, you can briefly divert the vector of the conflict in the other direction.

The allies of a self-confident and wise person should be balance and calmness; psychologists even recommend such a technique as pauses during a conversation in order to suppress emotional outbursts. Arguments and clear formulation of speech will simplify the process of mutual understanding between people.

How to get out of conflict at work?

As a rule, the desire to get out of a conflict without resolving it is a tactic that is appropriate when there is inequality between the parties, for example, when working with management. In this regard, psychologists recommend adhering to simple rules on how best to suppress the conflict without consequences for both parties, namely:

do not rush to answer - it is better to think carefully before every word spoken;
you need to think not only about yourself, but also about the feelings of your opponent - this will reduce the degree of aggression;
control over speech speed, intonation and volume - you need to speak measuredly, calmly, without unnecessary emotions;
respite - if you take a time out during the height of a conflict, this will help calm down both parties;
refusal of risk - you should not go all-in with weighty arguments, risking your position at work and relationships with your opponent;
orientation towards results - during a dispute, it is worth remembering what goals are being pursued by the parties, and not how to offend and offend the opponent more.

Do you know how to avoid conflicts?

YesNo

Psychologists advise paying attention to your emotional state, trying not to succumb to provocative “lures” and words that are aimed at unbalancing a person. You shouldn’t respond to a blow with a blow; it’s better to simply hush up the conflict so as not to aggravate the situation. After some time, the passions will subside, and the solution will appear on the surface on its own.

How to get out of a conflict: a reminder

To summarize, experts offer a top list of the simplest ways to resolve conflict. The memo consists of only a few points, namely:

recognition of a conflict situation;
agreement to negotiate face to face or with the help of an intermediary;
identification of the subject of confrontation and points of contact;
development of several optimal options for resolving the conflict without damage to both parties;
written confirmation that the conflict will be resolved voluntarily in one way or another;
implementation and translation into reality of mutually accepted decisions.

Such conflict resolution scenarios are practiced in life not only against the backdrop of everyday disputes, but also in a legally certified way with the help of a notary. Psychologists consider this method to be most appropriate between business partners, work colleagues, management and subordinates, and in interpersonal relationships.

Conclusion

Each person is so individual that he can have his own and not similar opinion, point of view or views. Due to different mindsets, types of character and temperament, disputes and conflicts may arise. They can be solved competently without negative consequences if you have the skills and abilities. Leading psychologists share how to behave correctly in such situations.

To resolve a dispute and know how to behave correctly in a conflict situation, you need to choose a model of behavior that is suitable for a particular situation. There are several methods for getting out of conflict, each of which brings certain benefits to the participants.

Tactics of behavior in conflict situations

Many people do not know how to behave in a conflict situation. According to experts, conflict is easier to prevent at the initial stage. For example, if at the beginning of the discussion, the interlocutor began to behave inappropriately - he raised his voice, changed his tone, “notes” of rudeness and unfounded claims appeared, you should calm down and give your opponent the opportunity to speak out. As a rule, remaining calm in a conflict situation is quite difficult. But this must be done so that the person speaks out, and one can understand his dissatisfaction in order to prepare arguments that will defeat the opponent’s position. In addition, it is very important to understand the need for this. After all, if the “rival” person is a close friend or relative, rash behavior in a conflict situation can lead to grievances that will cause damaged relationships.

There are situations when a person drags his interlocutor into a conflict, expecting a similar reaction. In this case, when discussing how to get out of a conflict situation, you should take this into account and respond to your opponent with calm and a smile. You can also try to correct the situation with jokes, but only in moderation. In addition, it is important to make it clear to the interlocutor that you are interested in a peaceful resolution of the issue.

There are practically no families who do not know what quarrels are. It is very annoying when there is a conflict with a loved one. Psychologists have found a number of reasons why family quarrels occur:

Lack of respect for each other. Without noticing it themselves, partners insult and humiliate each other. As a result, there is a lack of trust. Hence the baseless jealousy and scandals.
Lack of romance in relationships. After a while, the mystery disappears. And monotony and boring life appears.
Unjustified expectation of performance from family life.
Lack of attention, tenderness, care and understanding.
Excessive demands of spouses on each other.

If a quarrel arises in the family, you need to try to turn it into an argument. You can't resort to personal insults. After all, then, the main goal will be to humiliate the partner. There will be no winners in such a fight. You need to try to speak out, and not hoard everything inside yourself. According to psychologists, those spouses who are frank with each other are much happier than those who are silent.

Conflict resolution strategy

Once you find yourself in a conflict situation, you need to understand that the outcome of the conflict depends only on the chosen strategy for resolving it. The most positive strategies are compromise and consensus. Compromise implies mutual concessions by the parties, and consensus implies mutual gain. To achieve the second option, Cooperation should be given preference, even in very difficult issues.

You can resolve a conflict situation by taking a break, no matter how difficult it may seem at first glance. In addition, you cannot convince your opponent that his opinion is false. It is necessary to understand that each person will try to prove his truth and will not want to listen to other versions and arguments. During a discussion, sometimes it is better to let the interlocutor remain unconvinced.

In real life, it is quite rare to avoid conflicts. This must be accepted and when controversial situations arise, try to find the right way out of such phenomena.

Conflicts are common to any team. They infuriate some, inspire others. Scenarios of behavior, tests, tips and recommendations on how to behave in a conflict situation - all this is in the article.

From the article you will learn:

How to react to a conflict situation in a team: we study with examples

An employee sabotages a manager's order

A department employee was caught committing sabotage. At the same time, he turns his colleagues against the manager. There were no such situations before. How to understand why he does this?

The reasons for this behavior may be different. Often an employee is motivated by personal resentment. For example, he was not promoted, his work results were not appreciated, and with such behavior he takes revenge on his manager. But it also happens that an employee expresses concern through sabotage. For example, he strives to reach out to management when he disagrees with company policy. In this case, sabotage has a constructive component. By listening carefully to the employee, you can take steps to improve the situation in the company.

We recommend talking to the saboteur. Find out his motives. Try to come to an agreement with him to prevent a conflict situation. A frank heart-to-heart conversation will allow the employee to “let off steam” and begin to conduct a constructive dialogue with the manager. It is optimal for such a conversation to take place outside of the office. head, but on neutral territory. Talk to the rest of the team. Ask what they are unhappy about and how they see ways to resolve the situation.

Advise your manager to communicate regularly with subordinates. Conduct a survey to study the atmosphere in the team (sample below) or satisfaction with working conditions (sample below). Listen to each employee and correctly provide him with feedback according to the results of work. Conduct explanatory work regarding management policies and decisions made in the company. This is the best way to prevent sabotage.

Colleagues are at odds with each other

The employees had a big fight. The immediate supervisor did not intervene. However, the situation worsened. They dragged other department employees into the conflict. As a result, two warring factions have emerged that are constantly sorting things out with each other. How to improve relationships in the department?

Conflict resolution methods:

Talk to each side of the conflict separately. Try to convey to the warring employees that a quarrel creates a negative atmosphere in the team, which will affect the results of teamwork. Maintain neutrality. Do not support one of the warring parties, do not evaluate actions and words, and do not lecture.

Try to figure out the reasons spore and understand why the parties behave the way they do. Invite the parties to switch roles, putting yourself in the opponent’s place. Having found out all the details, find possible ways to resolve the conflict situation.

It may also turn out that the conflict is personal in nature. For example, it is caused by psychological incompatibility of employees or a clash between two informal leaders. In this case, help the parties express claims against each other without emotional intensity and personalization. And jointly develop a strategy for behavior in a conflict situation.

How to protect yourself from stress in a conflict situation

Learn to reduce the importance of what is happening.

You should not work where you are constantly under psychological pressure, even if your financial situation is extremely difficult. Neglecting psychological health can lead to illness. You will have to undergo treatment, and this will only worsen your problems.

When choosing a job, everyone mentally evaluates its pros and cons. Do you feel like the benefits of your job outweigh the benefits? Then make every effort not to react overly emotionally to stress.

At home, in a calm environment, practice... indifference.

There is a psychological technique called “anchoring.” Sit on a chair, relax. Remember those situations when you didn’t care about something.

Indifference is the most appropriate emotion for the situation. Indifference will give you control over your own body and thoughts. At the same time, it will not be very disharmonious with what is happening.

Recognize those times when you remained indifferent and did not become emotionally involved. You can consolidate your psychological state, for example, using a certain gesture. The gesture should be natural and invisible to an outside observer. And at the same time, it must be “unique”, otherwise the anchor will quickly be “erased”.

Practice body relaxation and proper breathing.

During stress the muscles contract involuntarily. When you feel that a conflict situation is arising, relax your body and watch your breathing. Mentally walk through your body from top to bottom, from the top of your head to your toes. Relax as much as possible (and maintain this state). Watch your breathing - it should be smooth and slow.

For example, you can breathe in 4 counts - inhale 4 counts, exhale 4 counts. Between inhalation and exhalation, you can make additional pauses, also for 4 counts.

For example, you late for work. And what? Usually this is not a reason to shout, but different situations happen. You made a mistake. How much did it cost the company? Even if the amount is gigantic, shouting will not solve the problem. We need to think about how to correct the situation. Often, the manager’s scream during a conflict situation is disproportionate to your misconduct. Pay attention to this (your own, not your manager's). When a boss yells at a subordinate, he wants to suppress his will and ability to think. And also - to punish and gain pleasure by exalting oneself and humiliating another.

What to do if the problem was not worth a damn, but at the same time caused an inadequate reaction? A strategy for resolving this conflict may be to try to forgive your boss. He may have psychological problems that he takes out on his subordinates. If possible, evaluate your offense in terms of money (materials, time, etc.). This will help you in the next steps when you answer reasonably.

Read more about methods of studying and resolving conflicts in the article " ".

The behavior of different people in a conflict situation is different. The ability to behave correctly in such situations allows you not only to solve the problem in the most constructive way, but also to avoid an unpleasant aftertaste in your soul.

A few rules and tips will help with this.

1. Objective attitude towards the instigator of the conflict

The initiator is considered to be a person who has made demands, claims, grievances and a desire to change another person. Of course, no one likes to feel accused. The natural reaction is the desire to fight back the “attacker”. This reaction is one of the mistakes.

Not taking into account people with mental disorders, quarrelsome and capricious character, the instigator often has a specific and justified reason to resolve the contradictions that have arisen.

Therefore, it is very important to listen calmly and friendly to the other person, without trying to judge or scold. This will provide an excellent opportunity to calm raging emotions and begin a compromise that is pleasant for both parties. If you behave this way in a conflict situation, it will help prevent it.

2. Don’t divert attention from the main topic to others

It is worth discussing only the original subject of the conflict, without remembering all the flaws of the interlocutor. This is a business approach that should be applied in marital, partnership, family or friendly relationships. Otherwise, you can get bogged down in mutual accusations, insults and jokes. The very essence of the conflict is completely lost sight of. And coming to a logical solution becomes unrealistic, because it is not clear what exactly to solve from the problems that have arisen - this is not the way to behave in a conflict situation.

Example: lovers live together. At one point, the girl decides to make a complaint to the guy that she is tired because she is the only one washing the mountain of dishes in their apartment. After which it continues that her husband does nothing at all, although he could sometimes vacuum the carpets, buy groceries and walk the dog.

What might be the answer? Most likely, the guy will begin to defend himself, expressing his grievances. After all, the beloved blurred the outlines of the main topic of conversation. Such situations develop into banal quarrels with the exchange of “courtesy”, after which there is no single solution, and people do not talk to each other all day.

In order to avoid such a conflict situation, you need to clearly formulate the essence of the issue, not leave it and not let your interlocutor do it.

3. Positive wording

The initiator of the conflict must be aware of all the outcomes of the situation, depending only on his words and actions. It is necessary to calculate all the pros and cons. Perhaps frayed nerves and problems in communicating with a person are not worth just shouting something aggressively.

Example: a mother comes home from work, urgently needing to finish a report, and her son listens to music too loudly, making it difficult to concentrate. There is a specific need that can be met in different ways. The phrase “Turn off the music” implies a victory for one of the parties and a spoiled mood for the other.

At the same time, it is not clear whether the fact of the presence of music or its volume interferes. The optimal solution that satisfies both may be to lower the volume or use headphones.

4. Emotional detachment

If the previous points are relatively easy to complete, then you will have to work on your own tone.

It is quite normal that when sorting out relationships in a conflict situation, the conflicting parties experience some tension. Most of the responses are categorical and demanding. A person who voices his grievances by shouting or raising his voice, and who is not careful about the expressions he uses, risks offending another person. And this can easily lead to a long-term conflict.

If you control yourself, choose meaningful but not offensive words, say everything slowly and calmly, your interlocutor will understand the reason for your dissatisfaction much better. And the conflict itself will not acquire universal proportions. If you behave this way in a conflict situation, it will help reduce its consequences to a minimum.

5. Don't get personal

Everyone is, to some extent, children. And at the moment when a person’s personality is insulted, his inner child rebels. Therefore, no dispute should go beyond clarifying a specific problem. You can discuss the details of relationships, the actions themselves, but you cannot discuss the person himself, his qualities, temperament and feelings. Otherwise, hostility is inevitable - this is how a child reacts, indignant at the fact that they do not love him for who he is and want to change him.

There are many situations in business or family life. However, business problems are resolved much faster and more efficiently. This is explained by the fact that a person’s actions themselves are criticized, without affecting his personal qualities. After all, attempts to change attitudes, temperament, habits and needs are doomed to failure. But it is always possible to find a compromise with the person himself.

These rules will help you behave correctly in a conflict situation, find mutual understanding between people, and eliminate possible “inflating” of conflict in your personal or social life. After all, there will always be dissatisfied or aggressive people, and there’s absolutely no point in spoiling your mood!