Everything will be fine. What to do when you don’t know how to continue living

People often find themselves in hopeless situations. The truth is that it is very easy to get into them, but to get out is real work on your understanding of life and the problem that has occurred. But all the same, we can find a way out, but it will be so painful for us, it depends only on us and no one else.

What to do when you don't know what to do?

Have you encountered this? I'm sure yes. We all find ourselves in situations from time to time where we feel lost and helpless. This, as you might guess, is not good. :) And it’s very good to understand this, understand what is happening and how to deal with it. Well, what’s happening seems obvious at first glance - there’s something a person doesn’t know... and-and-that’s all?

Of course no. Such things can happen to us even when we are well prepared in terms of knowledge and even experience. In one of my previous articles, I already said that any negativity is a habit. Moreover, the habit we most likely inherited from very early childhood. In this case, this is exactly the case.

All habits work like computer programs, that is, a clear sequence of commands. And they are triggered by the events that happen to us. And if this event somehow resembles some unpleasant event you experienced in distant childhood, then there is a very high probability that you will experience the same experiences that you experienced then. And in childhood, we all very often felt confused.

Well, I think everything is clear with this. The main thing that follows from this is precisely the understanding that we have to resist the habit. And they act very similar to reflexes. What do we do if the need arises to resist some reflexive action? We are preparing yourself towards him, so that at the right moment you do not do what he requires.

So it is here. However, there are too many moments when we could potentially feel confused... is it like constantly walking around waiting? Of course not. And it won’t work, although being in a state of vigilant anticipation is the best behavior strategy. But we will proceed from our real capabilities. And all we need to do is to accustom ourselves to begin breathing deeply and evenly IN ANY UNEXPECTED SITUATION.

This is very easy to do if you put in a minimum of effort. A sea of unexpected little things happen to us every day that we usually don’t pay attention to. But now you can use them to your advantage: I realized that the event that happened was unexpected - I began to breathe deeply and evenly. After a few days this will begin to happen without much effort. And the most interesting thing will happen when you have already gained the necessary experience and something happens that really unsettles you. You will catch yourself starting to breathe evenly and deeply, remember why you trained This is the action and the actual meaning of this article.

All these actions will not allow the program of confusion to start and you will quickly figure out what is best to do in this situation.

The very first thing is to stop feeling sorry for yourself, assess the situation sensibly, and fight pessimism and fear. You need to fight your fear, which does not allow you to breathe deeply. We must train ourselves to look positively at the current situation and the whole world that surrounds us.

We accept the choice

It is very difficult to make a choice, and it doesn’t matter what area of life it concerns. And when between two roads, we think about where to go, we are held back by the fear of making the wrong choice, and we remain in place, suffering. Therefore, you always need to move forward, being responsible for every step you take, as an adult, independent person does. You need to control yourself, learn to weigh the positive and negative consequences, and accept that you too can make mistakes.

First step

There is no need to be afraid that you will make a mistake. Try not to ask yourself the question: I just don’t know what to do in this situation, what to do? There is no such person who does not make mistakes, even the smartest and wisest person makes mistakes. You need to be grateful that you have your own “chest of experience”, which you buy, since this is the most important thing in your life and it is this experience that will allow you to become stronger and more able to endure other hardships of life. So, take control of your life and under no circumstances allow fear to command your actions! Also, you should not be afraid of changes in life, only in a swamp everything flows quietly and calmly, but in a mountain river the water is always seething. So, don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone! You should always repeat to yourself, both out loud and silently, that change is only good and any change will lead you to a new and better result. By doing this mini-training on yourself, you will begin to understand that your hopeless situation is just a situation from which there is more than one way out.

Change your attitude towards the problem

You are not the only person on Earth who has been in difficult situations. There are a lot of famous and famous people who have experienced the hardships of life even more seriously. How many unknown people survived? We think a lot! You can easily find several similar stories on the Internet and read how people were able to overcome them. We repeat again, perhaps you simply do not want to leave the usual state of your life, but this is exactly what you need. This very often happens when people maintain outdated relationships, or work at a job that brings only a negative impression, because they don’t respect or value you there. Why is this happening? The fact is that the reason for our hopelessness is low self-esteem. This is why it is important to understand our problem and get out of it, no matter how difficult it may be for us.

Working on self-esteem

When you tell yourself: I don’t even know what to do, this means that your self-esteem is greatly underestimated. So start working on it. If you don't do this, then you did not undertake you will have a high probability that you will return to your previous deplorable place. You need to love yourself and not be a “saint,” that is, allow everyone to mock you or offer the other cheek for a slap. And you don’t need to be lazy, because often it is laziness that creates a dead-end problem. By telling your “fables” and excuses all around, you begin to believe in them yourself! So, think carefully about what you say, perhaps you yourself have “talked” the problem to yourself, and are simply too lazy to solve it.

Laziness is your enemy

Fight laziness as if it were your worst enemy! Increase your motivation, and don't just throw words into the wind. You can write down possible solutions to your situation on paper. Write down even the most fantastic ones, for example: “fly to the moon” or “Teleport someone to Africa.” Write everything down and read it after a while, you will see that of all your entries a few are worthy of applause!

Pity away

Who hasn't felt the pleasure of feeling sorry for themselves? “Like, I’m so unhappy, pat me on the head, tell me that everything will be fine...” And how it will become good, no one asks at that moment... You, on the contrary, set goals for yourself, forget about the people who offend you and bring you only negativity into your life, even if you depend on them financially, think about how to solve this dependence. Don’t allow people to feel sorry for you, don’t allow them to admit that you have no way out, that “fate” is to blame for everything, this is all not true! Look at the country's elite; many have made it in life thanks to their strong qualities. Imagine also for a moment James Bond. Think about it, would he feel sorry for himself in such a situation, would he sit with his hands folded? The answer is obvious, of course not! We hope that you have understood your problem a little and realized that for the most part, our problems are far-fetched and are purely psychological in nature.

Therefore, if you say to yourself: I just don’t know what to do, then you need to stop and think about everything that’s happening and in the process of thinking about nothing do not undertake and then go forward and arrange your life!

So, 7 steps

Step one - calm down

Give up, stop hysterics, stop tearing your hair out and fainting from uncertainty. Allow yourself to relax: take a bath, drink a cup of coffee (tea, compote). It's better not to get carried away with cognac. If possible, be sure to get a good night's sleep.

Step two - forward to nature

How often do people in cities, especially large ones, lock themselves in their birdhouses. And if you are reading these lines, then you probably periodically dive into social networks, personal diaries, online games and other delights of the Internet, from which it is not so easy to escape even for a person with a stable psyche.

So, let's go to nature! Preferably for a week. But if circumstances do not allow - for the whole day. If it’s really bad, go to the park for 2-3 hours with a dog, a bike, roller skates, with children, or just alone with yourself, contemplating the harmony of nature and enjoying the beauty of the current time of year.

After this, fear will begin to dissipate and anxiety will melt away. And useful thoughts descend from Olympus. If this does not happen, then

Step three - release

Take a piece of paper and write down everything you don't like about your life. Describe in detail the situation that you have driven yourself into, or someone has driven you into. Describe “someone” well too, just in case (he won’t know about it). Don't skimp on paper.

Decide that this really doesn't suit you. Then you can, without much regret, part with your unloved job, harmful acquaintances, and emotions of fear, pity, and anger once and for all.

Forgive everyone, and yourself first of all. Forgiveness will free you and give you additional energy.

If something is pitiful, you will have to live as you lived until it hits you again.

“Today you want one thing - to die, and tomorrow you wake up and realize that you just had to go down a few steps, feel for the switch on the wall and see life in a completely different light...” Anna Gavalda

Sometimes it happens that things get bad. Is it an age crisis, depression or an understanding of the hopelessness of life? Together. What are you doing wrong? How to find your way and get out of the absorbing abyss?

What to do if you get stuck at one point?

1. You surrounded yourself with the wrong people. Time to change friends!

Your surroundings are completely “strangers”, even if you have known them for a long time. You have no common interests, goals, desires. These people serve not as a support, but as an anchor on the leg. Because of them, you are stuck at one point and are slowly going to the bottom. They pull back, criticize, waste time and energy. They make you a failure, just like themselves. What to do in this case?

Find those who will inspire, think alike and motivate. Someone you can grow with. Who is better. Someone to look up to. Find new acquaintances, friends and buddies. Surround yourself with strong people. Who do you want to be like?

2. You're stuck and have lost your grip. It's time to wake up and stop being shit!

Crisis, fatigue and depression? What to do if you don't know what to do? Often the reason for unhappiness lies in the fact that you are stuck and have lost your grip. Run home from work. There are TV series, the Internet, social networks, TV and a sofa. On weekends, sleep until lunch, get-togethers with friends, alcohol, entertainment and laziness. You understand that you are not doing anything right and proper. For this reason, you are unhappy and go into the swamp of depression.

It's time for you to start moving minimally. Bring dynamics into your life. To do at least something, and not to go with the flow, like a weak-willed piece of shit. Start learning a foreign language, take courses, join a gym, and educate yourself. Shake yourself up.

3. You're not doing what you want. Time to find your goals!

Many people work for a long time on goals that are far from their real desires. They work in jobs they hate. They do things that don't inspire them. They are mired in routine and the meaninglessness of life.

You're not doing what you want. You wasted your time and your potential on the wrong things. What to do if you made a mistake in choosing the path? Set a new goal. A new real goal. Which you really want to achieve.

Goals should not be whims or nonsense. Now write down on a piece of paper what you most want to achieve. Make a detailed plan and tie it to time.

4. You are a fatalist. It's time to try your hand!

It's easy to complain about circumstances, the government, the crisis, parents, ill-wishers and other factors. Stop abdicating responsibility and pointing to fate. It's time to take full responsibility into your own hands.

We are unhappy when we allow ourselves to waste our resources: time, effort, energy and potential. Make a plan to achieve your goal. Get out of the circle and try new things. Test yourself for strength. Rush into battle. Take risks. You are unhappy for the reason that your “engine” does not growl and does not work at full strength.

What to do if you don't know what to do? Find like-minded people, start doing at least something, find goals and rush into battle.

People often find themselves in situations that seem hopeless to them. Problems at work or with a loved one, misunderstandings in relationships with relatives are only a small part of the most common situations that lead a person to depression. It is extremely easy to get into such situations, but not everyone can cope with them quickly. The main question is what to do in a situation when you don’t even know where to start.

How to make the right choice

Making a choice, let alone the right one, is not an easy task. Every day, a person, without thinking, makes a choice in situations that are familiar to him: choosing a suit for work, what coffee to drink in the morning, whether to go to the cinema in the evening or stay at home.

But the choice feels completely different when it concerns serious issues: whether to quit your job, whether to bring your loved one back, or whether to give up everything and move to another country. The problem is that a person in such situations is always overcome by doubts, he is afraid of making the wrong decision. And the longer he thinks, the less likely it is that a decision will be made at all.

Psychologists assure that decisions of this kind should only be made in an extremely calm and comfortable home environment. The right time for this is in the evening, an hour or two before bedtime. Once you are comfortable, write down on a piece of paper the question that concerns you first. Below, divide a piece of paper into two parts. On one side, indicate the advantages that will appear if you answer “YES” to the question; on the other side, indicate the disadvantages.

For example:

“If a loved one has left, is it worth bringing him back”

Let's say you answered yes to this question. Some things in your life will change in a positive direction, and some will change in the opposite way. Write down all the pros and cons in detail, indicating each new thought as a separate paragraph. Then count the number of points in each part of the sheet.

It seems that the right decision should be made based on what is ultimately greater: pros or cons. But don't forget about intuition.

As intuition suggests

Intuition is the inner voice of every person, which tells him the right choice even in the most difficult life situations. True, most people do not trust their intuition, believing that they have practically no intuition.

Of course, every person has intuition, but in some it is more developed, and in others it is less developed. This happens because a person either gets used to making rational (but not always desirable) decisions, or listens to others, but not to himself. The main question is how to learn to listen to yourself and make the right decisions, based on your inner hunch.

Psychologists advise: determine the fundamental pros and cons of the decision made, as described above, and try to visualize them. Close your eyes and imagine everything you will encounter if you decide, for example, to return your loved one.

Intuition, as you know, is expressed through sensations and feelings; you just need to listen and understand whether you are experiencing pleasant excitement or whether this decision is made more by the head, but not by the heart. There is no need to rush, think about the situation for as long as it takes, so that there are no further doubts about your internal premonitions.

Another way to make the right decision is to seek advice from other people. But the question always arises of how useful these tips are and whether they can be trusted.

It is known that from the outside, any problem seems either easier, or, conversely, much more difficult than what actually happened. And although the interlocutor will try to imagine himself in your place so that his advice is constructive, he will still rely only on personal experience, and the voiced decision will reflect exclusively his character and behavior.

Of course, this does not mean that the advice of others is completely useless. Sometimes practical advice helps people overcome depression, achieve success and even find lost harmony. The help of friends and relatives is irreplaceable in cases when a person feels depressed, when he cannot find a way out of the situation alone.

The main thing is that there is a trusting relationship between people. You should also seek advice only from those who command respect. You should not arrange surveys and contact everyone you know if this is not necessary. Choose two or three people from your closest friends or relatives whose opinions would be useful to hear, and explain to them the essence of the problem. The answers received may not be identical, but they will certainly open up the problem from a new angle and provide food for thought.

Should you listen to other people's advice?

Psychologists also claim that men's advice is often more useful than women's. If parents give advice, you should definitely listen to it, but you don’t need to follow it blindly, as is customary in many families. The fact is that parents, in pursuit of a better life for their children, do not see obvious facts, unlike other friends and relatives. Therefore, you should not refuse the advice of other people, especially if it concerns those you trust. But still make the decision yourself.

Problems at home and at work, lack of money or discord in the family are situations from which it is difficult to find a way out. And only you can do this. Try not to fall into deep depression, remember that life consists of both black and white stripes, and the phrase “time heals” is not just a catchphrase, but a philosophy of life.

There are no hopeless situations. Try to look at the problem from different angles and evaluate it from a rational point of view. But don’t forget about intuition, which reflects your inner life goals and aspirations.

If you don't know WHAT to do,

It's better to do NOTHING.

Great minds set goals for themselves;

other people follow their desires. (1)

Even greater minds, who are called sages, overcoming their own egoistic vital and mental desires, try to unravel the Divine plan, find out the goals of the universe and pursue their fulfillment.

But these are all lofty matters; we will start with banal everyday life. Do you often find yourself in a situation where you find it difficult to make a decision, you are not sure of the right choice, or you don’t have the slightest idea what to do at the moment, or simply have nothing to do? With rare exceptions, quite often. And what, may I ask, are your actions?

In fact, as you probably already understood, the technique is simple to the point of genius: “When you don’t know WHAT to do, it’s better to do NOTHING.” Let's try to explain. In all cases and situations where there is no clear information, instructions, orders, knowledge of what exactly needs to be done at a given historical moment, how to act, your task, if possible, is simply not to do anything, i.e. do not make any unnecessary body or mental movements. So, literally, sit down and do nothing, or better yet, lie down and fall asleep - rest, recuperate and save vital energy. Here we can refer to centuries-old practices in Orthodoxy - mental silence, hesychasm, in Buddhism, yoga - silence of the mind; During such periods of “inaction,” you can engage in prayer, meditation, and reflection. And don’t worry, after some time, after a few minutes, hours, and maybe even a day (it happens too), you will clearly know that that’s it, enough rest, it’s time to get down to business, and, most importantly, you will be completely know exactly which one.

Notes on the way. Eight-year-old Sonya walks around me and pesters me:

- Mom, well, I have nothing to do... What should I do?.. Can I turn on the TV?

- Would you like me to tell you how you can find out what to do? – I remembered the technique. – Lie down on the sofa, calm down and ask God “What should I do?”, and listen to what they tell you. Just listen carefully, and don’t come up with ideas yourself.

Sonya went and lay down on the sofa, a minute later she got up and, shrugging her shoulders, so thoughtfully, intoned:

- Hmm, he doesn’t answer. Busy.

You wake up in the morning, you probably have a plan for the day: get up, wash your face, have breakfast, complete work assignments, go to the store, cook dinner, etc. As you live your day, you follow the plan you developed, which includes all the tasks necessary for today, what is important to do today. And you do all this consistently. You know and go. As a rule, working family people have their days scheduled literally minute by minute, and no questions or doubts arise: “What to do next?” You pray for only one thing: “If only there is enough strength and time for everything.” Well, if you live according to the Strategy of your life and in accordance with your own Conscience, we can only be happy for you, you have no time to be bored and suffer from idleness.

But if suddenly, in the middle of broad daylight, you don’t know what you need to do next, then a quiet panic gradually begins, developing into a meaningless fuss: “What should I do? After all, something needs to be done! I can’t sit idle!” And here it is important not to succumb to the temptation to “invent” this matter for yourself, i.e. force yourself to do something that absolutely no one needs: start calling your girlfriends, go shopping, mop the floor for the tenth time in the last week, sit down to study Portuguese... You never know what a person can come up with just out of boredom, and then I’m surprised that by the evening I don’t even have the strength to watch TV, my wallet is empty, and important things have somehow been forgotten in the hustle and bustle.

Idleness does not at all consist in the fact that a person sits idle, “with folded arms” in the literal sense. No, the slacker is always busy: he talks idle talk on the phone (sometimes for hours), goes to visit people, sits in front of the TV and watches everything, sleeps for a long time, comes up with different things to do. In general, a slacker is always very busy...(2)

So what to do? First of all, don't fuss or rush. Sit down (or lie down if conditions allow), relax, calm down and spend a few minutes alone with yourself. You can work with the mantra (Lecture No. 1.1.5.1.) If you fall asleep, it’s good, but this happens rarely, with good owners and workers it practically never happens that they have absolutely nothing to do. Therefore, we guarantee that literally in a couple of minutes a completely clear and clear thought will come into your head about WHAT it would be good to do at the moment. And you just get up and start doing the task at hand. And here, if you are sure of its necessity and correctness, give your all, bring the matter to the end, no matter what it costs you.

Naturally, it is naive to expect that something brilliant will come to your mind, although we also do not exclude this option, but most likely it will be an ordinary everyday thing that you have been thinking about for a long time and knew that sooner or later you will have to do it, but now you received direct instructions that this should be done right now: water the flowers, cook borscht, wash the curtains, go to the store, write a letter, mend a sock, play with the baby, and maybe saw, paint, glue... That's all. Nothing complicated. If the thought came: “Shouldn’t I re-read Anna Karenina?” Take it and re-read it. Who knows what semantic depths will open up to you today, precisely in modern conditions. Maybe you will come across a solution to a problem that has been bothering you throughout the year. Who knows... Yes, the same banal “I haven’t called Masha for a long time” now, after it came to your mind in this way, will appear necessary and sufficient, and Masha will be surprised for a long time: “I’ve been thinking about you all week, but I just can’t get through,” and not grumble: “Aren’t you tired of calling?” If today it’s better for you to do nothing at all, then no thoughts will come to your mind, you will take a nap for an hour or two with a clear conscience, until a new problem that is already relevant at that moment wakes you up. In the end, maybe it’s time to rest, gain some strength, and the body, knowing everything better than you, chose the right moment for this, because only it knows what things will happen to you in two hours and how much effort it will cost you. And after sleeping, you will get up cheerful and fresh and continue your day, and you will achieve much more effective results in matters that are really important to you than if you spent these two hours on cleaning, gymnasts, reading, studying and similar pastimes that you invented.

Example? Let’s say you are a businessman, and suddenly, in the middle of the working day, you have a “window” in your schedule, and most importantly, you don’t really know how you will end your day, i.e. your plan for today seems to have been exhausted, and without thinking or “asking for advice,” you rush to the gym in the hope of losing an extra pound. But suddenly, an hour after you started your physical exercises, you receive a message from the secretary that you are invited to an important meeting, and you, unable to refuse, sweaty and soapy, exhausted, disheveled, hungry, are rushing to another end of the city back to the office. The result? The whole conversation you think about whether you look decent and whether you smell of sweat, your stomach is aching from hunger, and therefore the content of the conversation floats away and a rash decision is made. If you had done things differently, sat and thought for an extra five minutes, you would have understood or they would have “prompted” you that today you could review all the papers under the planned agreement again, ask for additional information, or even just relax or go to a restaurant have lunch, and at the same time still think about it once, you see, and the contract would be signed on more favorable terms for you. But it was all worth taking the time to ask a simple question: “What should we do now?” And so it is in everything and always. Just? In our opinion, it's brilliant.

As you master these techniques and reorganize your life, your daily schedule will gradually improve in the direction of saving time and effort, i.e. there will be more and more of them, therefore, more and more often you will find yourself in the situation described above. And every time you come across a vacated temporary space, try to calm down, relax and ask yourself the question “What should I do now?”, and in a few minutes your brain (you can call it “my intuition” for now, although let’s just say right away) that this is not her) will provide you with the necessary information and indicate the field of activity. This way, slowly, all your pressing material and everyday problems will be solved, and then opportunities will open up for self-improvement in all three components, body, soul, mind: there will be time and circumstances for sports, proper rest, reading, learning, conversations, communication, etc. .

But what, you ask, should you do in cases where an answer to a question received from the outside world is required in a matter of seconds, and you are confused and unable to make a decision with lightning speed? If possible, it is best to ask for a delay, like “the morning is wiser than the evening,” delay the time as much as possible, and try to wait for (or think of) a clear, unambiguous answer when you are firmly convinced that this is the case and the only way. We repeat: it is recommended to perform any action only if you are absolutely sure that it is necessary and correct for you at a given moment in time. If you really need an instant reaction, trust your first feeling or body. In case of real danger, psychomotor skills must manifest themselves, the body will definitely react. Unfortunately, in previously identified cases that have already become fatal, it will be extremely difficult, although not impossible, to help you. Try to start learning, maybe, if the opportunity arises, you will achieve the ability to influence events not only present and future, but also past ones.

If there is no immediate answer to a question, “doing nothing” does not at all mean pushing the problem aside, like the notorious Scarlett (“I won’t think about it today, I’ll think about it tomorrow.”), and forget about it. It is important to continue to think about it, analyze it, look for a way out and try to decide on a solution. Only if you are restless will it perhaps “illuminate” you in the end. And again: it’s best to start real actions when you are sure that the decision you have made is correct, i.e. again analyze everything from beginning to end.

“I’ll summarize the situation,” Ostap said cheerfully. — Passive: not a penny of money, three chairs are leaving down the river, nowhere to spend the night and not a single badge from the children's commission. Asset: a guide to the Volga, edition of one thousand nine hundred and twenty-six (I had to borrow it from Monsieur Simbievich in the cabin). It is very difficult to achieve a deficit-free balance. You will have to spend the night at the pier. ...The situation is much more serious than I expected. Extorting money from the Vasyukinites seems to me to be an impossible task for now. And we need at least thirty rubles of money. Firstly, we need to eat and, secondly, overtake the circulation tank and meet the Columbus men on land, in Stalingrad.

Ippolit Matveyevich curled up like an old skinny cat after a skirmish with a young rival - the ebullient owner of roofs, attics and dormer windows.

Ostap walked along the benches, thinking and combining. By one o'clock in the morning the magnificent plan was ready. Bender lay down next to his companion and fell asleep. (3)

And as you probably guessed, one of the most dangerous phrases in our lives is the question “How to kill time?” If you belong to the caste of “time killers”, those who often ask this question, then we can confidently state that in your life there is no Theme, no Idea, no strategic meaning to which all your daily tactics are subordinated. After all, the internal desire for a goal guarantees constant employment, even if not related to the specific implementation of projects, but aimed at expanding one’s knowledge and skills on the chosen topic, i.e. for self-education and self-education. Truly purposeful people have their days scheduled minute by minute, and those who have achieved solid results in their field and made a serious career often do not have time even for a due and well-deserved vacation. Moreover, they are forced to pay increased attention to one specific component of the trinity that leads in their activities, sometimes to the detriment of the other two.

- We have very little money.

- You constantly talk about this.

- Maybe it's time to get a job?

- I'm not going to work. I already have a good job and I can't afford to waste time making money. (4)

You don't know what to do with your free time? But others know this very well. They will not fail to tell you where to invest your time and money, and sometimes your health. Be careful not to fall for the bait. “Filter the market”, i.e. comprehend what is offered to you by numerous media outlets fulfilling someone else’s order, entertainment companies working for someone else’s (not your!) pocket, sects caring about their own ambitions, and similar organizations. We are in no way dissuading you from relaxation and entertainment, we simply urge you to be more careful.

Life is better for unhappy people in the city. A person can live in a city for a hundred years and not miss the fact that he died and rotted a long time ago. There is no time to deal with yourself, everything is busy. Affairs, social relations, health, arts, children's health, their upbringing. Then you need to accept this and that, go to this and that; then you need to watch this one, listen to this one or this one. After all, in the city at any given moment there is one, or even two, three celebrities that cannot be missed. Either you need to treat yourself, this or that, then teachers, tutors, governesses, but life is empty. Well, that’s how we lived and felt less pain from cohabitation. (5)

It remains to add that wasting time, energy and attention on matters that are not dictated by the true necessity of your life and not confirmed by unshakable confidence is not only an ungrateful activity, but also downright vicious. You are wasting your precious life energy, health and intellectual wealth for other purposes, which could be saved and spent on things that are more relevant not only for you, but also for your loved ones. Moreover, by being distracted in this way, you risk missing really important information and passing by really important matters on which your life as a whole will depend. So, be extremely careful in choosing when you “don’t know what to do.” Avoid unnecessary knowledge!

Fedyashev closed his eyes and sighed sadly.

— “He suffers from hypochondria,” explained the aunt.

- I see! - said the doctor and poured the glass again. “Hypochondria is a cruel lust that keeps the spirit in a constant sad state... Here medicine knows different remedies... For example, this...” He raised his filled glass.

— Doesn't accept! - Auntie sighed.

“So the disease has started,” the doctor shook his head and drank. — There is another way: hardening the soul by lowering the body into an ice hole...

- Wise! - Auntie approved. “But it’s summer now—where can we get an ice hole?”

“That’s it,” the doctor sighed. - Then there is a third way - conversation. The word heals, conversation drives away thoughts. Do you want to talk, sir? — The doctor had his fill and lit his pipe. (6)

It is necessary to warn that this technique is only one of the many consequences of the fundamental principle of the Teaching of the SP - the Principle of Solid Yes (Lecture No. 2.1.2.1.), but you can get acquainted with it before studying the Principle itself so that a) you come to the Principle itself already more prepared, because it is often much easier to understand the whole when you become familiar with the particular; b) during this time you will accumulate a solid base of your own experiments; c) despite its apparent simplicity and banality, the technique is so important that any delay can be costly; d) it is directly related to the topic of the lecture “On the goals and objectives of the neophyte” (No. 1.2.1.) and will help you cope with uncertainty if you have not yet made a choice, and will also allow you to avoid fuss.

Notes:

V. Irving.
D. Likhachev. Notes and observations. - L.: Sov. writer, 1989, p. 316.
I. Ilf, E. Petrov. The twelve Chairs. //I.Ilf, E.Petrov. Collected works. - M.: Khud.lit., 1961, T.1, p. 312.
Dialogue from the film “Total Eclipse”, dir. A. Holland, 1997.
L. Tolstoy. Kreutzer Sonata. //L. Tolstoy. Collection Op. — M.: Khud. lit., 1964., T. 12, p. 176.
G. Gorin. Love Formula. //Anthology of Satire and Humor of Russia of the 20th century: G. Gorin. - M.: Eksmo-Press, 2000, p. 345.

Abstracts:

¨ “Great minds set goals for themselves; other people follow their desires.”

¨ The technique “If you don’t know WHAT to do, it’s better to do NOTHING” is one of the consequences of the Solid Yes Principle.

¨ In all cases and situations when there is no clear information, instructions, orders, knowledge of WHAT exactly needs to be done at a given historical moment, how to act, the task is to, if possible, simply do nothing, i.e. . do not make any unnecessary body or mental movements.

¨ If a person is confident in the necessity and correctness of the task, he is obliged to give his all, to bring the matter to the end, no matter what it costs him.

¨ If a person lives according to the Strategy of his life and in accordance with his own Conscience, he has no time to be bored and suffer from idleness.

¨ Resist the temptation to invent unnecessary things.

¨ Every time you have free time, try to calm down, relax and ask yourself the question “What should I do now?”, and in a few minutes your brain will provide the necessary information and indicate the field of activity.

¨ If you need an instant reaction, and you don’t know what to do, trust your first feeling or body.

¨ You can’t push the problem to the far corner; it’s important to continue to think about it.

¨ One of the most dangerous phrases in life is the question “How to kill time?”

¨ The pursuit of a goal guarantees constant employment, even if not related to the specific implementation of projects, but aimed at expanding one’s knowledge and skills on the chosen topic, i.e. for self-education and self-education.

¨ When choosing ways to relax, you must also be very careful.

¨ Wasting time, energy and attention on matters that are not dictated by the true necessity of life and not confirmed by unshakable confidence is not only an ungrateful activity, but also downright vicious.

¨ Avoid unnecessary knowledge!

Are you completely confused?

There is darkness in your head, there is fog all around, are thoughts more difficult to catch than a perch with your bare hands?

And this state, unfortunately, is not the result of a pleasant and cheerful vacation. Or rather his long absence?

And you absolutely don't like where you are now? No, I'm not talking about walls (although they may annoy you). I'm talking about a life situation. Is this not what you dreamed of at all and what you were aiming for?

Then you've come to the right place. It's your time make a decision and change your life. How?

Maybe that's enough questions, let's move on to the answers.

What to do when you don't know what to do?

Step one - calm down

Step two - forward to nature

How often do people in cities, especially large ones, lock themselves in their birdhouses. And if you are reading these lines,then you probably dive into social networks from time to time, personal diaries, online games and othersthe delights of the Internet, from which it is not so easy to escape even for a person with a stable psyche.

So, let's go to nature! Preferably for a week. But if circumstances do not allow - for the whole day. If it’s really bad - go to the park for 2-3 hours with a dog, a bicycle, rollerblades, c children or simply, alone with yourself, contemplating the harmony of nature and enjoying the beauty of the current time of year.

After this, the anxiety will begin to dissipate and melt away. And useful thoughts descend from Olympus. If this does not happen, then

Step three - release

Now, attention is an important point:

Make a decision that this really doesn't suit you. Then you can, without much regret, part once and for all with your unloved job, with the emotions of fear, pity, and anger.

and to yourself first and foremost. will free you and give you additional energy.

If something is pitiful, you will have to live as you lived until it hits you again. 😉

Step four - breaking the connection

Second important point:

Analyze what led you to this situation and what conclusions you can draw from it. What did life want to tell you when it laid such a pig on you? If you don't do this, you will very quickly be left with nothing again. Then write down all your findings on a separate sheet of paper, or better yet, in a notepad.

Step five - brainstorming

Imagine that a neighbor came to you and told you about his troubles (the troubles, oddly enough, are exactly yours).

give him 101 advice on how to get out of this situation. Write whatever comes to mind: from janitor, before bowing to the President of America. The wider, further, deeper, higher, and freer you think, the more real and practical options will begin to emerge.

Have you written? Can have a smoke breakdrink tea. It’s not a bad idea to take another outing into nature.