Psychology of communication. Encyclopedic Dictionary - intimate-personal communication
First, invading someone's personal space, we make a banal, but still serious mistake. People are very irritable when it comes to personal space. Respecting the personal space of a person, you gain trust and authority. By understanding how people share their space, you can develop a better understanding of where your presence is welcome and where you are not, and you can begin to act in accordance with the knowledge gained.
Secondly, by carefully observing the distance at which your interlocutors are, you can assess how much they trust you and are attached to you.
A few words about a man who divided his personal space into zones - Edward Hall.
He concluded that there is a direct correlation between social positions and physical distance between people. This means that when you think someone is in your friend zone, you prefer to keep them at a certain distance, away from your intimate spatial zone, but close enough to be a friend.
Thus, he divided the distance at which we are kept from another person into 4 main zones. These zones serve as "reaction bubbles" - when you enter a certain zone, you automatically activate certain psychological and physical reactions in that person.
public area
This zone is also large enough to observe other people without interacting with them. So to speak, the neutral zone. Suppose, for example, that you find someone attractive, and you look at him from this far distance - for him, this is probably good and even flattering. Close-up observation and staring, however, can send a chill down the spine.
social zone
This is the most neutral and convenient area to start a conversation between people who do not know each other well enough.This is the distance you keep from strangers with whom you may have some interactions: store owners, salespeople, plumbers.
Sometimes you may feel that this distance is shorter, especially in a sitting position. The explanation that I find most appropriate for this behavior is that in those cases there is usually some kind of artificial barrier between you and the stranger, such as a table. This barrier helps to relax and maintains a sense of comfort and at the same time allows you to be at a closer distance to discuss and explore the details.
Private zone
distance between friends.
Range: 60 cm to 1.5 meters.
This space is reserved for friends and family - people you know and trust. A zone that allows easy and relaxed communication, handshakes, gestures.
Also in the personal space zone there are other divisions, they depend on personal preferences and affection. The basic principle here is: you will stand closer to the one you like best.
If possible, you should avoid getting too close to someone so as not to invade his personal space. In order to get close to a person at an acceptable level, you need to show that you like this person. In this way, you start a magic circle of mutual understanding - they see that you like them, they will like it too, and in turn they will like you.
Intimate area
Range: from direct contact to 60 cm.
Obviously, this space is reserved only for the most trusted and beloved people: parents, close friends, children, lovers. This is a zone that allows direct contact, hugging, close communication is implied in it, it corresponds to a trusting relationship.
This space is like a bubble enveloping us, almost like an extension of our body. When someone intrudes here, our body and mind automatically react. If the person is close enough to us, we relax and enjoy the closeness, but if the presence is not welcomed, we will close and try to keep our comfort zone one way or another.
Some people use pressure to invade this space and take advantage of it is a state of complete confusion and vulnerability. For example, one of the popular interrogation methods is to intimidate the suspect by getting very close or invading his intimate area. Then, while he is helpless, try to use his vulnerability and discomfort to extract information.
Another additional interpretation for gaining access to this spatial zone is that sexual interest (or fake sexual interest - to seduce and control) is a sign that the other party wants more than just friendship.
close crowd
What about overflow conditions? How are things in a full elevator or bus?
Obviously, we do not welcome these strangers into our intimate zone, but on the other hand, we know that we have no choice, just like the rest. Thus, our brain has found a neat solution - at this time we avoid seeing them as other people, which is dehumanization. Since we subconsciously choose to "ignore" them as humans in order to feel safer, we automatically avoid all human contact with them:
- We avoid eye contact - staring at the ceiling or the floor.
- We put on a face of indifference
- We make a minimum of movements and gestures to avoid possible contact.
Territory is a zone or space that a person regards as his own. He seems to be an extension of her body. Each person has their own personal territory. This is a zone that exists around his property - a house and a garden, a vegetable garden. Jenny fence, car interior, bedroom, favorite chair and air space around the body.
A person's airspace ("air cap") depends on the population density where the person grew up; determined by the cultural environment, the social status of the individual
Studies have found that the radius of the airspace around a middle-class person in developed civilized countries is almost the same
It can be divided into four main areas:
Intimate zone (from 15 to 45 cm)
This is the most basic of all zones; a person perceives it as personal property. Only close people are allowed to enter it. They can be parents, children, family members, close friends and relatives. The inner zone (closer than 15 cm) can only be entered during physical contact. This is the most intimate zone zone.
Personal zone (from 46 cm to 1.22 m)
At such a distance from others we are at parties, official receptions, friendly meetings or at work
Social zone (from 1.22 to 3.6 m)
If we meet strangers, we want them to keep just that distance from us. We don't like it when a plumber, carpenter, postman, new colleague or just a stranger doesn't come close to us.
Public area (more than 3.6 m)
If you are addressing a group of people, then this distance is the most optimal for us.
If you give a friendly hug to a person you just met and she outwardly smiles, showing sympathy for you, deep down she may feel negative, but does not want to offend you
If you want people to feel comfortable in your company, keep your distance? This is the golden rule. The closer your relationship is, the closer you can get
In public transport, at mass events, in crowded places, a person obeys unwritten rules, as a result of which she simply does not react to others, to their intrusions into intimate zones.
A different situation develops during a rally, in a crowd where people are united by a common goal. As crowd density increases, personal space shrinks, and people feel hostile and aggressive. This is well known to the police, who always seek to break up the crowd into small groups. Receiving personal space, a person becomes calmer.
Investigators often use the privacy invasion technique to break down a suspect's resistance during an interrogation.
Managers also use this approach to get information from subordinates who for some reason hide it.
But if the seller succeeds in this approach, then he makes a very gross mistake.
As said. W. Schwebel: "Mutual respect arises only when boundaries are drawn and they are treated with respect"
The protection of personal spatial zones is one of the basic principles of wordless communication
The desire to maintain a significant distance ?? is a sign of insufficient self-confidence, increased anxiety. And vice versa - a calm, self-confident person cares less about the inviolability of "one's own borders." the subject of goods that are worth the time.
People prone to aggression are characterized by heightened sensitivity to violation of personal space (considering that it is already quite expanded)
Such conclusions were made as a result of relevant studies and psychological experiments.
It is known, for example, that the speaker often reduces the distance of communication in order to create an effect of trust among listeners, to ensure greater “openness” of communication
The result of the observations is another conclusion: people do not like to have uncontrolled space behind their backs. Therefore, in order to feel comfortable in any situation, try to take a position so as not to feel empty with your back. If you allow the interlocutor to take the same "safe" position, you will deprive him of unconscious non-handiness.
According to an Estonian researcher. M. Heydemets, if the leitmotif of communication is rivalry, then people sit opposite each other, and if cooperation, then next
yes, according to the posture of the communication partner, the distance at which he is, you can fairly accurately assess his mood and intentions
Questions and. Tasks for self-control
Task 1. Answer the questions:
1. What do you understand by the concept of personal space?
2. What are the four zones in human airspace?
3. What approach do investigators and managers often use in their practice?
Task 2. Tell us which zones of personal space are most characteristic for communication:
Between relatives;
Between friends;
In public places;
in business communication;
Between lecturer and audience
Task 3. Prepare an oral presentation on the topic "Using personal space in business communication"
Man is a social being. This has been known since ancient Greece, where the most severe punishment was expulsion from the community. Man cannot live outside the environment. Thus, social communication within society is an indispensable mechanism through which people interact with each other. This theory was put forward by Greek and philosophers. However, the scientists of that time did not understand how to correlate the personal with the public. After all, human connections are based not only on public relations. Anyone who understands the relationship between the personal side and the public will be able to comprehend the mystery of communication, which opens up many possibilities. The art of communication is the true goal of social psychology. In the process of studying this issue, regularities, types, forms, methods of study, etc. appeared. Subsequently, all these elements gave rise to a special branch of social psychology - proxemics.
Proxemics. General characteristics of the industry
In the 1950s, there lived a well-known anthropologist named Edward Hall. He studied the interaction of a person's personal space with the surrounding social environment. The scientist put forward the theory that each person organizes his personal space, just as he organizes the micro-subjective space, the structure of his home, the urban environment. In other words, our personal directly affects the public. The study of this issue allowed us to reach a new level of understanding of the relationship between people. Thus, proxemics is a branch of social psychology that studies the temporal and sign system of communication between people. Science derives the principles and patterns of remote non-verbal communication.
Proxemics and communication ethics
Of course, the ethical side of relationships between people is directly related to psychology. However, some scientists directly identify proxemics and communication ethics, which should never be done. These two sciences have something in common, but in general they are fundamentally different. The ethics of communication allows you to understand the cultural side of communication, which provides a deep understanding between the interlocutors. The task of proxemics is somewhat different. She is engaged in a deep study of the process of non-verbal communication, taking as a basis the remoteness of the interlocutors from each other. Thanks to the knowledge gained in the process of developing ethical and proxemic theories, people have invented a real art of communication.
The role of personal and intersubjective space in communication
The foundation of all social psychology is the distance between the subjects of communication. Taking into account the ethical side, which was discussed above, all people are subject to a single system of interpersonal contact. This fundamental theory was also put forward. The scientist suggested that, regardless of the cultural characteristics of a person of a particular nation, everyone has his own personal territory, which he determines for himself. It follows that the distance between interlocutors is the most important factor influencing the process of communication. According to the scientist himself, the remoteness of subjects is most important during the perceptual stage, when the interlocutors are just beginning to understand each other. As we can see, proxemics studies distance in the process
Main Intersubjective Zones
Today, in social psychology, personality zones are distinguished, which are studied by proxemics.
This is a list of distances according to which people establish interpersonal contact:
1) Intimate - inherent only to relatives or very close people who do not want to devote others to their conversation (0 - 0.5 m).
2) Personal - this distance is maintained by all people in everyday life (0.5 - 1.2m).
3) Social - communication zone for formal and social meetings (1.2 - 3.66m).
4) Public - this distance is chosen during public events.
intimate distance
The distance between people, taking into account the intimate distance, is no more than 45 centimeters. This allows you to exchange personal thoughts and opinions without fear that other people will hear them. When people communicate in an intimate area, words do not really matter. The most important role is played by non-verbal factors: sight, movement, touch.
Most clearly, the action of the intimate zone is visible between the spouses.
People who are dissatisfied with their marriage will always be at a distance that is significantly more than 0.5 meters. An absolutely opposite picture can be seen between happy couples.
It should be noted that the boundaries of the intimate zone may differ for each person. For example, people who are prone to the use of brute force create for themselves an intimate zone of a larger radius than for other people. A similar situation arises due to the constant readiness of rude and cruel people for the appearance of danger.
personality zone
At such a distance, more communications are made in everyday life. This is a zone of normal relationships between people. A close woman, for example, a wife, may well violate the boundaries of this zone. The same actions on the part of an outsider will look, to put it mildly, unusual. Compliance with communication indicates the presence of tact in a person. The longer the interlocutors are in the personal zone, the stronger they become attached to each other.
This distance is a key step towards achieving the best intimate contact. Clear and thoughtful actions in the personal zone will ensure long-term and mutually beneficial cooperation between the participants in communication.
Social and public distance
Despite the importance of the personal and intimate zone, their study is not the basis that proxemics studies. This is due to the relative one-sidedness of the distances presented above. They are easy to understand, and even easier to identify patterns. More interesting are the social and public areas. They are used in the process of business and public communication. Over the years, people have studied these two distances to find an effective way to control the masses. People who have great control over public and social distance are always good speakers.
Modern Proxemics
Proxemics is one of the most popular branches of social psychology today. Scientists everywhere are studying and developing new theories in this field of knowledge. Proxemics in communication is a completely new level in the process of studying interpersonal relationships. The ability to apply this knowledge will allow you to establish contact with people much better and faster. The more knowledge a person has in the field of proxemics, the faster he learns the art of communication.
The space of communication is a common visual and conceivable space with an unambiguous understanding of the meaning of the means of communication.
The space of communication should be the same for everyone included in it.
During a conversation, it is important:
so that the interlocutors can see each other;
¦ strive for them to be in equal positions of communication and see the same visual picture before their eyes;
so that the words have the same meaning.
It is necessary to remember:
¦adults and children are constantly in different "spaces", each in his own; in the "space" of the child, the main place is occupied by games, classes, etc .;
¦adults and children are in different positions;
Adults and children often see completely different meanings in the same words.
How to overcome the above contradictions? To create a common “space” for communication is the most important task of an educator, an adult, because a child is not yet able to do this. In this regard, the adult often invites the child to move into his "space". For example, this happens when the teacher invites children to classes. Children come, but this does not mean that each of them is actually present where the teacher would like to see him. Mentally, a child can be anywhere: in a fairy tale, in an unfinished craft, etc. He hardly switches from one activity to another, because even adults find it difficult to move from one activity to another.
The teacher must organize communication in such a way that it is pleasant, because the child needs to experience the pleasure of communicating with the teacher. This enhances the pedagogical effect.
Exercise. Ask both children and adults about what they understand by the words “independence”, “freedom”, “responsibility”, “duty”, “rights”.
Communication as interpersonal interaction
Communication implies some kind of result:
change in the child's behavior;
changing the activities of children;
getting pleasure from the process.
In order to more effectively influence the child in communication, its different forms (types) can be used based on the situation, age (Fig. 3.7). So, for example, in adolescence, it is preferable to build communication using the request form.
Rice. 3.7. Types of communication in interaction
To achieve high results of influencing the child, the educator must be well versed in the methods of persuasion and suggestion.
Belief is the process of influencing consciousness by logical substantiation of any judgment or conclusion. It is a special way of influencing a person or a group of people (Fig. 3.8).
Rice. 3.8. The main signs of persuasion
It is very difficult to convince a person who is not versed in any area, since he does not know the elementary laws of the issue under discussion. Therefore, before arguing your point of view, it is necessary to offer the listener at least the basic information that is necessary for discussion. The better it is done, the better. Only by arming a person with certain knowledge, by informing him of a certain range of knowledge, you can discuss with him the problems that interest you.
In order to convince a child of something, it is necessary to know and take into account some features (Figure 3.9). KNOW the child's opinion on the issue under discussion, the opinion of the majority of the children in the group
CONSIDER facts and phenomena that concern children, alleged counter-judgments (do not evade answers!)
BE ABLE to establish psychological contact with the child, gain trust
The teacher himself must be convinced of what he convinces the child
Accessibility, understandability of logical arguments
Great endurance, patience, tact Fig. 3.9. Positions of an adult when persuading a child
Suggestion is the influence on feelings with the help of emotionally colored images to induce certain behavior. According to the figurative expression of V. N. Bekhterev, suggestion, unlike persuasion, enters a person’s consciousness not from the “front door”, but, as it were, from the “back porch”, bypassing the “watchman” - criticism.
To inspire means to act on feelings, and through them on the mind and will of a person, in order to induce action, in other words, to act in such a way that there is no place for criticism and judgment.
Suggestion, by creating an attitude, can more or less effectively predetermine the child's behavior. Suggestion as a method of influence is based on certain needs and aspirations that the child has.
Let us give an example of the use of suggestion. We want to inspire a child who is in a waking state to perform a certain behavioral act: to drink jelly from a cup. To do this, we start a conversation about hunger, pour jelly into a cup and drink it greedily, expressing pleasure with all appearances, after which we report that the jelly is tasty and cool. Thus, we convince the child to believe that jelly is really tasty and cool, so that he himself would have a desire to try this product.
Suggestion in this case is based on a certain strength of the body's need to satisfy the feeling of hunger.
The diagram below (Fig. 3.10) shows a behavioral act that proceeds unconsciously (under the influence of suggestion). In this case, the level of conscious control over their actions decreases.
Rice. 3.10. Scheme of a behavioral act
Suggestion causes a concentration of excitation in a certain focus of the cerebral cortex. Under conditions of inhibition of the rest of the cortex, the content of the suggested influence acquires irresistible force. This explains its effectiveness (Fig. 3.11).
| SUGGEMENT IS CARRIED OUT |
|
| 1. SPEECH MEANS: Slow pace of speech Rhythmic repetition; Visual explanation of the main idea; Illustration of the same thought by different means; b) intonation: many shades of thought can be conveyed. In the question "I hope everything is clear?" there can be affirmation, and doubt, and joy, and fear, and certainty; every extra fraction of a second is already significant. This is either expectation, or reproach, or rest, etc. 2. NON-SPEECH MEANS: a) facial expressions, pantomime, gestures; b) the actions of another person; c) environment. One of the important features of facial expressions is the movement and expression of the gaze. | PERSONALITY OF THE INSPIRER: His conviction; Competence; ENVIRONMENT: a) natural, subject-. the room is clean, tidy inspires appropriate behavior; b) social-. the presence of children drawing can inspire a desire to draw too |
Rice. 3.11. Components of suggestion
A child, especially a small one, cannot always understand and realize the meaning of the rules and norms of behavior. In these cases, the method of suggestion is indispensable: the educator creates an emotionally significant
situation, affecting the feelings of the child. For example, he inspires the child that a person is beautiful if he follows the rules of behavior.
On the basis of suggestion, stereotypes (habits) of behavior are formed. And their deep reflection and understanding will come later.
The impact on children should be emotionally rich, inspiring the beauty of behavior, creativity, wildlife, admiration for it and love for it.
With the help of words, intonation, facial expressions, gestures, actions of the educator and an environment corresponding to the emotionally described images, the desired result is achieved with the help of suggestion, because children by their nature are very easy to suggest.
Regardless of whether suggestion acts as an independent means of pedagogical influence or as a component of persuasion, there must always be close contact between the educator and the child.
Suggestion can be direct and indirect.
Direct suggestion - the impact of speech with a certain figurative meaning. In life, it is required to perform some behavioral acts automatically, without hesitation, completely trusting the signal word for these actions. An example of such an impact are commands, instructions during the game: “Stop!”, “Step march!” and etc.
Suggested instruction is used in the form of concise phrases, the so-called suggestion formulas, pronounced by the educator in the most imperative tone. At the same time, the teacher expressively looks into the eyes of the child, enhancing the inspiring influence of his words. Sometimes you can invite the baby to close his eyes and focus on the voice of the teacher. The child can repeat individual verbal formulas after the teacher, for example: “I like to draw!” etc.
Indirect suggestion (indirect, through objects) - is carried out in the form of disclosure of a fact (description of a case) committed by others, in the form of an example, etc.
It may be expedient, by means of an example of great inspiring power, or by means of a story, to influence the child by means of indirect suggestion.
Suggestibility is the subjective willingness to be subjected to and obey an inspiring influence. Suggestibility increases:
¦ with a decrease in the age of the child;
¦with a decrease in the criticality of consciousness, thinking;
¦ with a decrease in self-esteem, insecurity;
¦ with an increase in emotionality, impressionability, anxiety;
¦ in the presence of such character traits as gullibility, timidity, shyness;
in a state of relaxation, fatigue;
¦ with a lack of time;
¦with a low level of competence in the issue under discussion;
¦with the "pressure" of the group surrounding.
Suggestibility decreases under the following conditions:
growing up;
¦increasing the criticality of consciousness, thinking;
¦increasing self-esteem;
the presence of self-confidence;
¦reduction of anxiety, impressionability;
¦ the presence of such character traits as independence, activity, confidence;
a state of cheerfulness, activity;
a state of stability;
¦ a high level of competence in the issue under discussion;
independence from the influence of others.
The effect of suggestion on the child is facilitated by his great imitation.
Imitation is aimed at reproduction (copying) by an individual of external features of behavior, manners, actions, deeds. Since children are very imitative, the teacher should be especially attentive:
¦ to one's behavior, manners, actions;
The child grasps all this intuitively, as certain features of the mental make-up of adult behavior, and then all this is deposited in the mind of the child, and his image of behavior is unconsciously molded.
In real human relationships, persuasion, suggestion, imitation are interconnected and intertwined, but, of course, beliefs play a leading role.
Exercise. A message is given: "On New Year's Eve, the film "Carnival Night" will be shown." Transform this message first into a form of persuasion and then into a form of suggestion.
“Carnival Night is a good movie, as it has been on the screen for more than half a century. Millions of viewers have watched this film more than once, ”is a conviction.
“If you watch this movie, you will get great emotional pleasure. Each actor is unique in his talent. For example, the image of Ogurtsov, performed by the actor I. Ilyinsky ... ”is a suggestion.
Situation. Often we hear how mothers, communicating with their children, assess their capabilities in different ways. Some say: “You can do what I can’t!” or “You are right, well done!”. And other mothers say: “You are still small, listen to what adults say!”, “What do you understand, if you learn, then you will understand!”.
What is the fundamental difference in communication between mothers and their children?
Solution. Some mothers, as it were, instill self-confidence in the child (“If mom praises, then I’m worth something!”). They contribute to his maturation, create an active life position in him, help to assert himself.
Other mothers, on the contrary, contribute to the appearance of self-doubt in their child (“If mom scolds, then I’m not worth anything, I’m bad!”). In such children, anxiety is formed, activity decreases, and a tendency to pessimism arises.
Situation. Restrictions, prohibitions and countless "don'ts" are often included in the arsenal of individual mothers when raising their children. This allows them to control their child, to manage it.
*) How will this behavior of the mother affect the development
self-regulation of the baby?
Solution. Restrictions and prohibitions hinder the development of the child's self-regulation, as they force him to always keep in touch with his mother, to constantly decide what can and cannot be done. The child obeys the instructions of the mother, believes her, but at the same time it turns out to be completely dependent. The child will need such regulation of his behavior for a long time. Only by offering her child freedom can a mother program the need to rely on her own strength, on her own independence. It is under such conditions that the child arises and develops the ability to be himself and build his own life as he wishes, and it is precisely this behavior of the mother that forms in him a system of self-control, self-regulation and reasonable self-discipline. Education as a way of managing a child turns into self-education, self-improvement.
Situation. Mothers who care about the physical education of their children brought them to physical education classes. But there are significant differences in how they address their children. One mother, addressing her son Sasha, said: “You can go without a hat, but when it gets really cold, put on a hood.” But Slavik’s mother constantly repeated: “Step away from the window, it will blow you out, you will get sick”, “You are pale, aren’t you sick?”, “You are weak, take a rest.”
What is the fundamental difference between the appeals of these mothers to their
Solution. First of all, mothers program the behavior of their children with their statements. Most often this happens unconsciously and depends on the norms that were established in the families in which mothers grew up.
Sasha's mother, relying on the adequacy of the child, programs the development of his activity: "Act, defend yourself!". Physical education is not only the performance of physical exercises, but also a psychological attitude to a healthy lifestyle, to the development of self-awareness.
Slavik's mother initially assesses her son as incapable of self-defense. She puts in his consciousness passivity, weakness: “You are weak with me - take a rest”, “Are you sick?”. She does not set her son up for success in the physical exercises that are so necessary in life. And the content and intonation of the mother's address only predetermine the behavior of her child in the future and provoke the likelihood of his weak physical development.
INSTRUCTIONS
ADVANCE
PERSONAL
EXCLUSIVENESS
STRENGTHENING MOTIVATION
HIGH GRADE DETAILS
"It's okay... It happens that people are afraid..." "Do you remember that..."
"You can do it..."
"Only you can do it.," We need it so much for ... "
“That part of you is wonderful!”
Rice. 3.12. Success situation and its creation
Suggestion is made easier if you try to join the child. For example, a mother should equate herself with a child, become like him. To do this, she should:
take the same posture, movements, gestures as the child;
adjust the rhythm of your breathing according to the rhythm of the child's breathing;
¦ take the right hand of a child who is being inspired by something, that is, make a special gesture that generates trust and sympathy (the right hand is connected by more than 1/4 with the brain); such contact is equivalent to directly influencing the consciousness and subconsciousness, and therefore, holding the child by the hand, it is easy for the mother to hold his attention;
¦ "draw" emotionally vivid imaginary pictures to the child.
A territory is a zone or space that a person regards as his own. He seems to be an extension of her body. Each person has their own personal territory. This is the area that exists around his property - the house and garden, enclosed by a fence, the interior of the car, the bedroom, the favorite chair and the air space around the body.
A person's airspace ("air cap") depends on the population density where the person grew up; determined by the cultural environment, the social status of the individual.
Studies have established that the radius of the airspace around a middle-class person in developed civilized countries is almost the same.
It can be divided into four main areas:
Intimate zone (from 15 to 45 cm).
This is the most basic of all zones. the person perceives it as personal property. Only the closest people are allowed to enter it. They can be parents, children, that is, family members, close friends and relatives. The inner zone (closer than 15 cm) can only be entered during physical contact. This is the most intimate area.
Personal zone (from 46 cm to 1.22 m).
At such a distance from others we are at parties, official receptions, friendly meetings or at work.
Social zone (from 1.22 to 3.6 m).
If we meet strangers, we want them to keep just that distance from us. We don't like it when a plumber, a carpenter, a postman, a new colleague, or just an unfamiliar person comes close to us.
Public area (more than 3.6 m).
If you are addressing a group of people, then this distance is the most optimal for us.
If you give a friendly hug to someone you just met and she outwardly smiles, showing you sympathy, deep down she may feel negative, but does not want to offend you.
If you want people to feel comfortable in your company, keep your distance. This is the golden rule. The closer your relationship is, the closer you can get.
In public transport, at mass events, in crowded places, a person obeys unwritten rules, as a result of which she simply does not react to others, to their intrusions into the intimate zone.
A different situation develops during a rally, in a crowd where people are united by a common goal. As crowd density increases, personal space shrinks and people feel hostile and aggressive. This is well known to the police, who always seek to break up the crowd into small groups. Receiving personal space, a person becomes calmer.
Investigators often use privacy intrusion techniques to break down a suspect's resistance during an interrogation.
Managers also use this approach to get information from subordinates who for some reason hide it.
But if the seller succeeds in this approach, then he makes a very gross mistake.
As W. Schwebel said: "Mutual respect arises only when the boundaries are drawn and they are treated with respect ...".
The protection of personal spatial zones is one of the basic principles of wordless communication.
The desire to maintain a significant distance is a sign of insufficient self-confidence, increased anxiety. And vice versa - a calm, self-confident person cares less about the inviolability of "their borders." An assertive, aggressive, strong person strives to literally expand his boundaries: this is evidenced, for example, by elongated or widely spaced legs, wide gestures, as if accidentally touching people or objects that are standing nearby.
People who are prone to aggression are characterized by heightened sensitivity to violation of personal space (considering that it is already quite expanded).
Such conclusions were made as a result of relevant studies and psychological experiments.
It is known, for example, that a speaker often reduces the distance of communication in order to create an effect of trust among listeners, to ensure greater “openness” of communication.
The result of observations is another conclusion: people do not like to have uncontrolled space behind their backs. Therefore, in order to feel comfortable in any situation, try to take a position so as not to feel empty with your back. If you allow the interlocutor to take the same "safe" position, you will deprive him of unconscious comforts.
According to the Estonian researcher M. Heidemets, if the leitmotif of communication is rivalry, then people sit opposite each other, and if cooperation is nearby.
That is, according to the posture of the communication partner, the distance at which he is, you can quite accurately assess his mood and intentions.
Questions and Tasks for self-control
Task 1. Answer the question:
1. What do you understand by the concept of personal space?
2. What are the four zones in human airspace?
3. What approach do investigators and managers often use in their practice?
Task 2. Tell us which zones of the personal space are most characteristic for communication:
Between relatives;
Between friends;
In public places;
in business communication;
between lecturer and audience.
Task 3. Prepare an oral presentation on the topic "The use of personal space in business communication."